I hate...

[thisistheonlynamenottaken]

I hate how people fefuse to ley go of the past. it hrts so much when one of your best friends can look at you and tell you that they don't want to live with you becaus ethey don't want drugs and alchohol brought into their homes. I wsh people could see past what I used to be. Yes before I became catholic i was very big into doing drugs and drinking, but people can change and i have and it hurts if your friends can't see that. I think i have become such a better person since i found god....but maybe i am only seeing what i want to see. i must be doing something wrong if the people closest to me doesn't see it.

 

[ukok]

thisisnothteonlynametaken..phew!

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. We are a bunch of sinners, there is no bar graph of acceptable/unacceptable sin. If there was, i'd be in big trouble! The important thing is your desire to turn your back on the life that you once lived and to pursue instead to live your life as God would have you live it.

Take encouragement that Jesus embraces us even when those with whom we find ourselves living amongst at this earthly time, would judge us.

 

[Michelina]

Dear thisistheonlynamenottaken,

Give your friends and folks some time. Be patient with them. God is patient with us, so we should be patient too.

Everyone will see The New You as you gradually blossom into the beautiful flower God wants you to be.

Love and Prayers,
Michelina

 

[Mulutka]

thisistheonlynamenottaken

I've been in this exact same situation. Really! I felt like I was reading my own words. Actually, I'm still feeling the effects of others judging me based on my past. I've lost my best friend (friends since high school and we shared a townhouse for 2 years) because *both* of us would not let go of the past. I think she had a really hard time not just believing me that I was done backslidding (drugs and alcohol)... but she also just didn't know how to handle the 'New Me'... To be totally honest with you, I was really impatient with her and with God.

As a side note, can you just imagine how Paul's (Saul's) past was used against him? Think about how the Bible tells us that when Paul was converted, other Christians still didn't want anything to do with him! He brings up his past quiet often in the Letters--> he must know how you feel right now.

I wish I had something encouraging to say to you... something that would help you sleep well tonight and ease your frustrations and hurt. .. but I know that the harsh reality of this is you'll most likely have to give up some friendships and let time do it's work. For myself, I spent soooo much time and effort trying to please others and prove that I had changed that I actually began to distance myself from God again. I started trying to 'fix' my life and relationships instead of letting God have control over EVERY part of my life. I'm trusting God now but oooooh is it ever tough!!! I have confidence that God wont put trials on me that I can't bare though.

You deserve good friends. REAL friends. You deserve and are worthy of having good solid relationships. Be sure that you don't make yourself feel guilty for the fact that your best friend refuses to let go of your past (you didn't say that you feel guilty, but I just want to make sure that you don't get into a guilt trip cycle like I did). Keep in mind, everyone has Free Will--> if your friend(s) won't believe you that you're different, you can't force them to change. May be you'll even need to put things that make you feel awful inside (like photos which carry a lot of painful memories) away until you feel healed inside? Looking back, I now see that God wanted me to be stripped down (which included taking friendships away) so that He could build me up. This sucks (to be blunt) but Christ never kept it a secret that there is a cost to being a Christian. It's the good old clay pots being broken so the potter can re-mold it into a strong vessel.

It's so easy for us to say we believe Christ is our Everlasting Friend, one who will never abandon us.. but it's hard for us to actually really fully grasp the depth of the friendship Christ wants with us. Afterall, we all want a friend who we can see: someone in the flesh that we can physically embrace. Take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one who has/is going through your present ordeal.

Do you have a close relationship with any of your family members? If not, why not try to start up one now? Yes, I realise that being friends with your mom or your sibling(s?) is different than being friends with others... but that's exactly it! It *is* different because no matter what you can't stop being your mom's child or your brother/sister's sibling. You're stuck (to put it simply) with your family so why not make the best of it?? Or is your family 'less than desirable'?? (I'm new here so I don't know about your family or about you-- but feel free to pm me if you'd like to tell me more of if you want to vent).

 

[Michelina]

.....I wish I had something encouraging to say to you... something that would help you sleep well tonight and ease your frustrations and hurt. .. but I know that the harsh reality of this is you'll most likely have to give up some friendships and let time do it's work. For myself, I spent soooo much time and effort trying to please others and prove that I had changed that I actually began to distance myself from God again. I started trying to 'fix' my life and relationships instead of letting God have control over EVERY part of my life. I'm trusting God now but oooooh is it ever tough!!!

Fantastic. Beautiful post, Mulutka! Excellent advice.

 

[CeeBee]

Just wait and be patient. They will notice. I will pray for you.

 

[FullyMT]

I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said except to wait and be patient. Your friends might have lost some of the trust they had in you and it will take a while for you to get that trust back. Be patient, and just know that we're all here for you if you need support, as is our Lord