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I hate this

dobieman0488

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I hate the situation we're in, not knowing whether or not our baby's dead. Sarah came home early from school today, she's a mess, totally devastated already, i walked in on her, with her head in her hands totally in tears in our family room, we were praying and crying together for about an hour, she's taking a nap now, i really, really hate this.
 

Sojourner1

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I hate the situation we're in, not knowing whether or not our baby's dead. Sarah came home early from school today, she's a mess, totally devastated already, i walked in on her, with her head in her hands totally in tears in our family room, we were praying and crying together for about an hour, she's taking a nap now, i really, really hate this.

Is it too early for an ultrasound to determine if the baby is alive or not? You should let the doctor know that you guys are having a really tough time with this and is there anything that they can do for your wife..
 
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chaz345

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I called the doctor, the earliest they can get us in is thursday. I hate seeing sarah devastated, and I'm pretty heartbroken too, so how can i be a leader for her?


Being a leader doesn't mean that you can't be heartbroken yourself. I seem to remember the phrase "Jesus wept" in at least one place in the Bible.

The thing is in a serious grief situation like this there are three pains. There's her pain, your pain and the shared pain. All three need to be addressed and processed. If any of the three is ignored, or put aside for too long, it can make a mess.
 
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mkgal1

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Dobie....maybe the doctor can't see her, but can the doctor write out an authorization for Sarah to have a blood test, so that can be taken care of? And yes, as Chaz said....being a leader doesn't mean you can't be heartbroken...grieving with those who grieve is good...but, maybe there isn't a need to grieve?
 
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Ixoye116

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I called the doctor, the earliest they can get us in is thursday. I hate seeing sarah devastated, and I'm pretty heartbroken too, so how can i be a leader for her?

Let me say first that I am praying for your family .... God's will be done!!

Secondly I would say check for a ultrasound school in your area!! they offer utlra sounds usually free of charge, my wife and I just got one done about a week ago. We had some concerns early as my wife doesnt have the best health history however so far everything looks fine ..... I dont know what you're going through but I pray that the situation works the way the Lord intends and healing takes place quickly if needed!
 
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I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through; that's really a hearbreaking thing to face. I realize you feel you need to be strong for her, so I hope you can feel encouraged to do what you have to do but also know that you can vent and be sad about it here when you need to.
 
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Singermom

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My heart and prayers also go out to you.

Back in 1986, when we suffered a traumatic miscarriage, plenty of people offered me sympathy, hugs, prayers, etc. However, my husband faced something else.

Most people ignored him.

His co-workers chose that time to go around telling "dead baby" jokes...especially around him.

The O-N-L-Y person (aside of myself) to offer him anything remotely resembling sympathy...was my mother...and they weren't close at the time. Not even my father, but I don't blame him completely; he's very "old school" and, in his mind at the time (he's since changed), that wasn't something "MEN" did.

Dear sir, how much I wish that my WH & I could be there for both of you...but particularly for YOU. Please know that I am here as much as I possibly can for you...whatever the outcome.
 
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