I hate having to look at others' photos!!

[salamacum]

Visited a Christian acquaintance this afternoon. I was kindly invited for lunch so had to be on best behaviour.

The quid pro quo of the meal was to listen to an account of a short practical Christian visit to East Europe and see some photos.

Now this acquaintance is quite garrulous at the best of times and she now has had an impressive experience.

Well we listened non-stop (couldn't get a word in edgeways) over the meal and then my heart sank when I saw the photos. Three fat wallets - it was about 150 photos.

She never let go of each one until she'd explained the content, the people, the place, the activity.

I know - I should exercise grace.

But don't people understand how it is for the guest. It's the lack of empathy.

I remember another encounter where we were shown the same climbling frame on an activity holiday 40 - 50 times (from different angles) with a proud father commenting on the physical prowess of a favourite son.

Not once did he acknowledge that they were a bit 'samey'.

I've come to the conclusion that many Christians just long for a listening ear.

And holiday or other snaps are an opportunity to have a captive audience.

Is there a morally acceptable escape strategy?

 

[NorrinRadd]

Visited a Christian acquaintance this afternoon. I was kindly invited for lunch so had to be on best behaviour.

The quid pro quo of the meal was to listen to an account of a short practical Christian visit to East Europe and see some photos.

Now this acquaintance is quite garrulous at the best of times and she now has had an impressive experience.

Well we listened non-stop (couldn't get a word in edgeways) over the meal and then my heart sank when I saw the photos. Three fat wallets - it was about 150 photos.

She never let go of each one until she'd explained the content, the people, the place, the activity.

I know - I should exercise grace.

But don't people understand how it is for the guest. It's the lack of empathy.

I remember another encounter where we were shown the same climbling frame on an activity holiday 40 - 50 times (from different angles) with a proud father commenting on the physical prowess of a favourite son.

Not once did he acknowledge that they were a bit 'samey'.

I've come to the conclusion that many Christians just long for a listening ear.

And holiday or other snaps are an opportunity to have a captive audience.

Is there a morally acceptable escape strategy?

Well, you could try, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear a thing you were saying about those pics. I was busy staring at your zoomers." Of course, that probably fails the "morally acceptable" test, but...

 

[salamacum]

Trouble was, she was too far away on a separate sofa. The photos came down the line! She wouldn't have believed me and if she did, she would have passed them around again!

 

[Tangible]

I have a cousin like that. Every family get-together here come the scrapbooks.

I usually look for a few minutes, then find reason to excuse myself.

 

[ebia]

Visited a Christian acquaintance this afternoon. I was kindly invited for lunch so had to be on best behaviour.

Is there a morally acceptable escape strategy?

Perhaps, "I'm in a bit of hurry but I would love to hear the editted highlights - would that be possible?"

 

[Caliboy]

I like looking at vacation pics.

 

[salamacum]

A similar thing I experience this morning. It's to do with lack of empathy - the inability to swap roles and put yourself in another shoes.
It's the inability to LISTEN and just shut up for a minute, without having to top/improve on an experience the other person had or to give the other person the benefit of your theology/life-experience or bible-knowledge.
No wonder we can't witness to the world.

 

[katautumn]

Bless her heart. My grandmother is like that. One year her sister and brother-in-law generously paid for her to vacation with them in Martha's Vineyard. She brought back a Black Dog coffee mug for my dad and she took thirty minutes to tell the story behind the dog and why he's the mascot of Martha's Vineyard. She also has to tell a lengthy story about every photograph. Yeah, sometimes it wears on you.

I'm reminded of George Carlin's sketch about how to tactfully bow out of looking at someone's endless array of kid photos. Is there a way to gracefully excuse yourself from the situation? I suppose it depends on the host(ess) and the situation. For example, if you've been invited to dinner and the pictures come out prior to the meal being served, you can't very well say you have a prior engagement and you need to leave in a hurry. I also, personally, prefer to not lie and tell someone I have an emergency.

It's the inability to LISTEN and just shut up for a minute, without having to top/improve on an experience the other person had or to give the other person the benefit of your theology/life-experience or bible-knowledge.

That's true. I suppose it falls under the saying, "the reason God gave us two ears, but only one mouth, is so we can listen twice as much as we speak."

 

[nikkipompom]

Arghhhhhh. I always feel trapped. Ha. I got a few people like this in my circle of friends.

 

[Maviga]

Such things can really get to me to!!
I mean the first 35 pics you may be genuinly interested and all the aah's and ooh's come spontaneously. After that though it's getting harder and when the person just keeps on going without any sense if the other is happy to sit there and listen or just really wants a break. It's an annoying situation and hard to get out of. Not sure what the answer is, sorry.

 

[Puppies_and_Rainbows!]

Awww! Sounds like someone is just excited to share something that they care a lot about! You should sit patiently and you will be the better for it! One day you will want to share too and will be thankful for someone to sit and listen to you.

 

[JimboG]

It seems like this person had a good time and is trying to include you in it as much as possible. If it is a good friend then listen and be happy for them. If it is just some acquaintance then you can probably find an excuse to get out of dinner the next time if you are so uncomfortable.

 

[salamacum]

< < Awww! Sounds like someone is just excited to share something that they care a lot about! You should sit patiently and you will be the better for it! One day you will want to share too and will be thankful for someone to sit and listen to you. >>

In my experience in evangelical circles those people are very rare.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

Honey, if this is the worst thing you have to put up with in life....you haven't got much to worry about. She thought you were special enough to share her special experiences with....thank God for her.

 

[Singermom]

Call me strange...

You're strange!

I LOVE looking through other people's pictures, albums, etc.! When someone in our church goes on a mission trip or some such, they usually select a few pics for a presentation, but have the rest running during Coffee Hour on a Slideshow program. I'm usually right there, asking questions about the pictures.

I've always been this way. I remember when I first met my FIL. For reasons I won't get into we didn't get off on the right foot. One day I was noticing the shelf with HUGE photo albums - many of them - and I just looked at them. FIL came by and tentatively asked if I wanted to see them. I said yes, and he and I spent a wonderful afternoon (with my husband, too, of course), going over every picture in every book. My FIL became one of my closest friends and confidants that day. He died back in 1998, and this memory (and the memory of watching "Powers of Matthew Starr" with him) are among my treasures.

 

[EyesOnZion]

Much of the time, it's just a situation you have to put up with. I figure it's good practice at being quick to listen and slow to speak.

There are some times, though, when it's not a 'formal viewing', that I'll say "Let me see those pictures!" and grab them. Then I'll flip through and ask a question about the ones that interest me (every 3-5 pictures tends to be my personal interest level). Because I'm asking question, people feel listened to, even though I'm not spending a tremendous amount of time on every picture.

Glad you asked though, I never realized I did this until I thought about it.

 

[salamacum]

GrannieAnnie,

Don't be silly! I'm not comparing looking at photos with laying down my life or facing persecution or even having to listen to a pompous sermon.
The issue really is about why people are so insensitive to others level of interest and how difficult it is for all of us to empathise (put oneself in another's shoes)
How many true listeners are there?