I had an affair.

[zek]

I am 27, been married for 5 years and have 4 kids...I completely and utterly sinned against God and my wife.

Over the past few months I would say me and my wife have had a excellent relationship, we rarely fight we both are christians and we are trying to raise 4 kids. I have been laid off for the past 3 months and recently found a job. And the past few months I feel that our relationship was going great.

I have no excuse as to what happened, I wasn't drunk, we weren't fighting. I really don't understand how it happened ....My wife's cousin has been staying with us for a few days, we rarely talked, last night, my wife went to bed and I was alone with her cousin, we have kinda been eye flirting over the past few days but I seriously did not speak more then a few words to her up until this point.

I basically was overcome with lust as we were up late and doing nothing but sitting beside each other watching a movie. I made the first move and one thing lead to another and things escalated.

I am beside myself with grief, guilt, anger, bewilderment... I know I should tell her but I am not ready as this happened last night and her cousin is still here.

I have prayed, cried and couldn't sleep. I love my wife and would never have thought I would have really done something like this. I have fantasized about doing this in my head but never really thought something like that would have come true. I always thought those are the "deep dark secrets" that no one tells anyone. When I thought about them I told myself that they are just fantasies and everyone has them. And convinced myself I would never act on them. how wrong I was...

Saying those words that I love my wife and commiting this sin makes me sick, because how can you really love your wife if you can fall that easy.

Her cousin and I apologized for what happend we both knew it was wrong and I know we both feel guilty. We can't even look at each other.

I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone I can talk too about it, my relationship with God has been poor at best. I haven't had a close encounter with him for many months.

I want a healthy marriage more then anything, she will probably leave me when she finds out. I don't know why I did this...

I struggled with a small porn additions for the past few years and over the past 3-4 months I haven't given in to those temptations. I thought things were going well. How could I trade a porn addition for an adulterous affair?

I really don't have anyone to talk to about this, that is why I am posting on this forum.

We are living with her parents who I love and respect very much, they will be crushed when they hear it....

I don't know what to do or when to do it. I know I should tell her ....I just don't know when, or what to say or what to do after...

My biggest fear is losing my wife and kids for less then a one night stand. I am following in my fathers footprints....I don't want to turn out like him.

I was reading the hurt poured out by other members on this forum, and I can't express my sorrow for this. I know it doesn't mean much now.
I want to apologize to you guys first, even though I don't know you some of you will read this and it will reopen past hurts and possibly pain your dealing with now.

I need to apologize to God and I konw this but I haven't felt close to him and feel even more distant then ever now...

I am confused as to how this happened and the more my wife is nice to me the more the Guilt is wieghed on me..

I don't want to live a lie but I don't want to lose my family.

Hate me, curse me, or whatever I deserve it... I don't deserve what God blessed me with.

please tell me what I should do.

 

[caitlincares]

First of all you need to repent and ask God for forgiveness.
Second I would think you need to be honest and tell your wife.
(I have never been married though)

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

First of all.. I dont hate you... and I'm not gonna curse you. I'm gonna try to help you as best I can.

I think that When you think the time is right... but i would probly make it sometime soon. sit down with your wife (in private) and talk. Tell her that you love her with all you heart (as i can see you do) and tell her that you're human and you made a horrible mistake and you couldnt bare to keep it from her. tell her about the insident and see what happens. Pray. Ask God to give you the right words. He forgives you zek. He does... whether you think you deservve it or not... He forgives you. and he'll help you and pull you through this the way he seems fit. I hope everything works out ok. and always remember you have a place here to talk about anything.

-JO

 

[allieisme]

zek, you already know, I've sent you a pm, but you've got to know, God loves YOU, He always has loved YOU, and always will love YOU. All He asks right now is for you to get on your knees and truly repent, He will forgive you as far is the east is from the west, but He asks one thing of you as well.. YOU need to forgive yourself.

 

[pgp_protector]

Rember a few things.

1) spend time seaking God in both His word, and in Prayer (We will be praying for you)
2) When you tell her (And You MUST tell her) She will more then likley Be Mad, because it Will hurt very much, and she will probably lash out, Do not lash back
3) Go to your church & get help today/tomorrow. Some churches have emergency prayer lines / help lines, and this is an emergency
4) Do not be alone with her cousin at any time in the future, even if nothing ever happens again, she will/may have a hard time beleving it.
5) You have 4 Children, don't talk about this around them, it will only hurt them
6) Pray some more, Also there is a section in the CF for marage (http://www.christianforums.com/f140)
7) I've hurt my wife once when we were first starting our relationship, and it took some time for her to get over the mistrust, but with Daily prayer, we have been together over 10 Years now, Yes it has been bumpy, but we will tough it out over the rough spots, and look forward to a long time together.

We will be praying for you.
Your borther in Christ.

 

[pgp_protector]

FYI My wife also told me the Fisrt thing you also need to do is
Forgive Yourself

 

[KidDitto]

To the original Post


WOW. Boy, if we could only go back in time.

I am going to be honest so sit down and get ready to be told the way it is. No sugar coating. Here we go--

Sounds to me like you started to view porn and a lust spirit attached itself to you. And when the circumstances were right you followed the devil spirits direction rather than God's.

What always gets me is the guy will say how it meant nothing and that they love their wife. Really?


I would have to say it sounds like you are selfish. You began to get into "day to day" living with your wife and your family and went looking for excitement. But rather than take up something "clean" like sky diving you went walking the back alley of darkness looking for a thrill.

AND you had such little regard for your wife you did this in her home with her family member.

That means after you tell her, everywhere she looks in her home it will bother her. Her own home will no longer bring peace but upheaval. And because YOU chose a family member even if she leaves you, she will think her whole family is tainted with your betrayal. At each reunion, wedding and funeral your betrayal is there.

You really need to check your heart and what made you so self-centered that your wife did not matter. With your behavior? It isn’t love.

Pure selfishness.

You are in a spiritual battle and you let a spirit use you to destroy your life and the lives of your family. Ask God how to shut the door to that activity which starts with NO porn. And accepting the responsibility of your actions.

First, I question why in the name of God you did not choose something more balanced than porn?

Then, the porn made you feel like you were missing something - I guess. That kind of performed passion and perversion is not real, is NOT love and is not a foundation to build a marriage on.

Have you ever seen those old porn stars? They are empty old and broken. They are so dried and disgusting they have no appeal to anyone anymore. That is where that path leads... unquenching thirst for MORE to fill their empty bottomless pit.


First, get your selfish head out of your backside.


Those "wonderful" porn people if they could go back would die to have a life like yours. You had the dream. But just incase you missed something you had to go slumming.

Second, get on your knees and cry to God for forgiveness.

Next, if you do tell your wife, which because you DID it with a family member it will leak out. You may want to consider the best place to do that. A Christian Counselors office perhaps? Where she can feel supported as she will fall apart. (This is serious and will stab at her core, the place you tell her is crucial. How horrible it would be for you to be telling her & have one of the children come in the room seeking a glass of water, and she would have to pretend everything is okay while you are in the midst of pulling her heart out.)

Next, she will want to ask you things and it may be for years she questions you. Do not say, "It is over" because for her it isn't. It will live in her until.... Until she heals and that will take a lot of time...

It is your fault. So, you will have to let her cry and feel removed from you.... let her question where you are going.... ask for uncomfortable details.... And you better be prepared to meet her needs to heal.

You made the mess. She is an innocent woman who had given you her all...and by your actions you just told her "her all" was not good enough.

Even as a Christian she will shatter until she lets God into her most painful parts. I have sat with many a crying Christian wife over this kind of thing, and in a way, I think it is harder for them as they do not expect this to happen to them. After all, they were just loving God and being a "good wife."

Go to a qualified Christian Counselor. Read some books to enlighten you like "The Road Less Traveled" by Peck and then try reading "The People of the Lie" which explores when we come to a crossroads and the devil offers us an easy path. What the breakdowns are and the psychological set up.

Then, after you ask God to forgive you. Believe he has and you need to do whatever you can to support your wife. Usually the act wrecks the wife for years even though it only lasted 30 minutes with you. Be prepared to have to start from scratch with her.

And I pray God heals her quickly. But from what I have seen it is a process of restoration.

I will pray for you.

Rev. KidDitto

(Sorry if this offends any reader but sometimes reproof and correction is not all sweetsy. And must be said in terms that wakes up a person who is asleep at the wheel)

 

[Jesus Fan]

I am sorry, don't have much advice that I can give you because as you see I am in a similar situation with my boyfriend. I don't know if he is cheating on me or not, I am so deppressed and lost. It will hurt your wife very much when she finds out but you should tell her as soon as possible before she might suspect something but I am sure she won't. Knowing my situation and hoy I am struggling with my bf right now it is very hard, especially for woman because we are alot more emotional. You should tell her right away, I am sure she will forgive you but it will not be easy.

Sighs....life is hard.

 

[HomeChicklet]

First of all I know i am only 14 but i can offer some moral support i think just please listen to me

When you feel the fathest away from God thats usually when he is playing hide and seek with us... I have been playing the game for a year now and im still not close but im fighting

When you started the porn you opened up a door that is really hard to close... that porn got lust into your head which brought on fantasies and throughts and hopes that you wish so badly would happen... i know this because last december i got myself into a relationship on here that now haunts me for the rest of my life i guess but we wont go there

Also... when you felt the feelings why didnt you get up and leave... tell her goodnite and go find the wife that you love so much... and you have four kids... im not condeming you im just trying to show you that what you did you too could have stopped and that for future refrence you should seriously avoid situations like these... as far as your four kids... they are gonna feel like you dont love their mommy... my mom cheated on my dad and it cause them to divorce when i was 5 now that i know the reason now i feel like my mommmy never loved my daddy i mean really really loved....

You have alot to fess up to... God comes first... Then i believe you and your family should work on forgiving you.. maybe seek counseling for the porn addictions and seek marrital counseling to help you and your wife work thought this together...

I hope i have not steped over any bounderies by offerenting my advice... i know im 14 but i know what an affair can do to a relationship if not taken care of or even sometimes when it is... so just please just try some of what i said

love you always in Christ
HomeChicklet

 

[bliz]

If she hasn't left already, ask the Cousin to head back home.

Tell your wife. She will be mad. She will be hurt beyond belief. She may hit you, lash out at you and say mean and rotten things to you. Suck it up.

Also tell her that you want to do whatever has to be done to restore your marriage with her.

Her parents need know only if she wishes to tell them. If it becomes clear that something is amiss, you can honestly say to them "We're going through a rough patch and we would appreciate your prayers, but we do not wish to talk about it." Involving her parents, especially while living in their home, can only complicate things and make it harder for everyone.

Offer to get counseling, offer to go with her to counseling.

Do not expect that she will forgive you overnight. Forgivness is a process and it takes some time and she will really not be able to do it well until she has begun to heal.

KidDitto's tone is harsh - but the advice is good. Reread that post.

You rmarriage can be restored, but it will be a tough time for awhile.

 

[Rafael]

Learning the hard way isn't easy. God will always forgive us for sin like this, but can't make the repercussion go away after it is done. He can restore, but as KidDitto said, your going to have to stand up, suck it up, and face the music for a while.
The way you handle this will be a reflection o the measure of what kind of man you are before the Lord. You cannot hide your sin because if we do, we will not prosper in life. The best thing to do is throw yourself at the mercy of God and at the feet of your wife. KidDitto painfully described the pickle you've made for yourself, and I too think the Holy Spirit sent you some instructions to listen to.
I really do feel for you and will pray for you right now, that you will be strong from now on where you were weak in the past, and that you will see this trial through to the day where your soul will prosper in the Lord, being faithful to Him and your wife.

 

[KidDitto]

Amen Raphe

To the original post this is my part two post to you.

The battle, the set up, the fall and the fight back...
Now that we have your attention:

Let’s look at you and discuss “root causes”. You are a young viral man with four kids and you are only 27 years old. The noise in your house must be mighty with all those little ones. Your wife probably has a lot of her time focused on them and you feel a bit empty and over-whelmed. (I am guessing -- & I say all this so you understand your triggers not to excuse your behavior. It is still the mess you made. Take responsibility.)


So, you went seeking some peace but you forgot to seek the prince of peace and this lead you on a journey to feel better that is pocked with “dark” choices. You found porn, or it found you considering it is being spammed to us at every turn.

Here is where things escalate. It would be nice to feel desired again. To have someone look in your eyes with a touch of larceny in their soul and you begin to entertain these thoughts.


Let's look at the fall of man --


Gen. 2:16,17

God told man you can eat of every tree except this one tree. And if you eat of it that very day you are going to die.

2:16
And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

2:17
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Many people then preach when Eve ate of the tree she introduced death into mankind.


I think there was a death that happened that very day and can be supported by scripture but this is a post.


3:1
Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

3:2
And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3:3
But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

3:4
And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die.


There is the take down of man. God said something. The devil came along slyly and challenged it and eve did not hold onto what God said but changed it. Did God ever say 3:3? No he never said anything about touching it and “lest ye die” is in the context that we MIGHT die. God said SURELY die.


The devil got Eve to question the word by adding a word, omitting a word and changing a word. (Concessions) Until it was no longer the word of God left. Then the devil says the big lie “You shall not surely die” The complete opposite of what God stated in 2:17! thou shalt surely die (They did die that day and it took the day of pentecost to bring back the spiritual connection. We are body, soul and spirit. The body lived but the spirit connection was lost.)


I bet if you look at this process you will find by entertaining these thoughts at the beginning you were talked out of your morality one thought at a time, one concession at a time until you were hit with and accepted the lie “Big deal, so what. I have needs. It will not hurt anyone. Who is going to know?” And the lie became bigger than the truth.

But if you read the Bible, it is clear regarding fornication/adultery.

God does not ask us to obey because he is a big ego in the sky – he asks us to obey to help us have a wonderful life and keep us from getting hurt and hurting others.


Investigate your triggers. Loneliness, pressure, feeling unappreciated. I strongly suggest, you then look up verses that combat those triggers and commit them to memory. (The devil takes us down with pleasure or pressure)

Loneliness:
"I will never leave thee."-Hebrews 13:5

pressure:
Romans 8:36, 37
Even as it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; We were accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

feeling unappreciated--
Elijah did all kinds of things for God and then felt so alone and unappreciated he was depressed
19:14 And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

Let's back up and take a look:
Kings 19
…4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. 5 And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him.


So you know what a juniper symbolizes over there? That you are so depressed you give up and want to die. Akin to wearing a t-shirt here that says in bold letters “I want to die.” The juniper was a declaration of that desire.


Read the rest of the account, then fire came and other things to accommodate him but the Lord was not in the fire, or the other things. But the Lord came as a still small voice bringing him comfort.

You looked for something exciting, you got set up, the devil sent you things, and you fell for it.

Now it is time to rise from the ashes and fight back with God in you heart and scripture as your sword. Fight for your Christian life. Give your wife every reason to join in the fight to save the marriage and watch God work (But pls do not forget your responsibility in the restoration process of your wife as previously shared)


God LOVES you. He always did, he always will. God forgives. God heals. God restores.

 

[shastajade]

KidDitto-wow. I have to say, great post. I feel at the same time we need encouragement and love when we screw up, the outright, point blank, in-your-face truth is sometimes needed for sin. Your post was awesome. Im not saying this to make Zek feel bad, however, I think if we combine love, understanding, encouragement, and Biblical direction, along with in-your-face truth, people will think twice about messing up again in the same area when the truth is black and white.

 

[LandonCowling]

I aggree with everyone, please keep us updated.Ill say a prayer for you.

 

[zek]

Wow,

Your responses have been humbling, uplifiting and loving all together, I appreciate them all.

Kid ditto, I appreciate your honesty and both tough truthfulness and loving guidance. At first when I read your post I thought you were someone who has been hurt by something like this and found someone to "vent" on. So I just glanced over it, but Today I re-read it and saw your second post and see that I am a lot of what you said and didn't want to admit it.

Any kind of addiction is only self-servering. It keeps our love ones out and ourselves first. But if an addition was as easy to stop as it is as easy to start I don't think we would have half as many problems in the world. But you are definatley right in saying I am selfish.
I started reading a book called "Eros Defiled" the chrisitian and sexual sin. My next step is to find a counselor and start working this out.

What scares me is how fast it happend, it wasn't like we went out alone before or I had been taking her out to dinners, or like I was having long emotional talks with her that would get us bonded. It happened in an instant, and I didn't realize what I really had done till it was over and that scares me. The others situations I could see coming. The other scenerios I had would had more time to think and guard against...but this one was reactionary and just pure lust.


I was made aware to porn when I was 7 years old, playing out in our street , the trash truck guy, was reading a magazine as he picked up our trash, then looked up at me, and then grinned and opened the centerfold for a quick flash of nudity. To this day that image is imprinted in my mind. I actually got into porn when I was 16, so its been an on and off struggle since then. I have been an on and off christian I suppose you would say, sometimes on fire and sometimes not since I was 13 or so. Im sure it was one of my off moments when I decided to get courious about it.

It has been a few months since I have turned to it for satisfaction, my small group that I was a part of had taken a break for the summer, they were my accountability partners who helped keep me strong...
It was just a series of spirtual breakdowns, stop reading scripture, no accoutability, rarely praying...that I know played a small part in this.

You know I don't know why I am pouring out my life story now, I never thought I had one. I have been a pretty good kid up until this point. I didn't smoke, I have never drunk alcahol, I rarely if ever even say a cuss word. But I have always struggeled with sexual sins. When I was single and not living for God, I would be with women, then in my marriage it was porn, now this...

You guys have given me great direction and advice. As long as this is a sceret I don't think I will be able to forgive myself and even after. When I think about what I did, I just keep thinking, God is ashamed of me and my sin. I have asked for forgiveness but I don't feel forgiven. Sure I know if you are faithful to ask he is faithful to forgive but I don't FEEL like that. I feel gross inside, angry, embarassed and guilty.
YOu know going to church as long as I have, I have always heard the pastor say, it doesn't matter what you have done, God still loves you and I have always believed it and thought everyone else did too...but its not till your down in the trenches and feel isolated and guilty that you realize that it is just as hard to believe God has forgiven me as it is for me to forgive myself.

Update, her cousin has left and we really didn't speak to each other the last 2 days she was here. I also made sure I was not alone with her because I felt like she was open to doing it again. I avoided her the rest of the time she was here.

Thank you all for your prayers, interest and love in this time, please pray for my wife that God will prepare her for what comes next and for me for wisdom on what to do next.

God bless
zek

 

[KidDitto]

Naw, I have not been cheated on but I have ministered to MANY people who were broken by betrayal.


I have been posting on another site for 6 years. I have never felt led to be as stern and as serious as I am and have been with you. God is fighting for you but I bet he is "pretty upset" about what happened to his daughter (your wife) God was pretty disturbed about the results of David's sin. He loved him! Called him the APPLE of his eye, yet he also loved Uriah. Uriah was a GOOD man. David's "sin" is the direct path to Uriah's death.



Personally, I would say BEFORE you tell your wife, seek advice of wise counsel. A professional in the phonebook with a fish on the advertisement. Or one a friend KNOWS is wise counsel. And I would do it quickly. The cousin is not some stranger and this will probably/inevitably leak out. I would prefer it to be in a controlled SAFE environment for your wife's sake.

I am so concerned for her I awoke last night a couple of times praying for her. (and all concerned)


(((Zek))) I stand with you in prayer and love that all things will work out and great healing will take place -- and that you can minister to others.

May God bless you and you family AND keep all of you from harm. I pray for deliverance.

I send you prayers of love and wholeness.

You speak of the magazines you found at 7. I once ministered and worked with a girl who found bondage/sadist magazines around the same age.


By the time I met her she was 17 years old and she was cutting herself as a full blown [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. At the age of around 11 her teacher saw her outside. Apparently, the lawn crew had left a sickle by mistake.


This teacher saw Donna pick up the sickle place it on her stomach and fall on it injuring herself on purpose.

Those evil spirits in that magazine attached themselves to that child and tormented her until she turned to Christ and worked hard to rewire her brain (with scripture).

It is a shame that material got into the hands of a child -- both you and her. This walk on earth really is a battle. The devil is cruel. Thank God that God is a God of deliverance!

I am really praying things work out for you.

(Edited to complete post)

 

[SarahAblaze06]

"It has been a few months since I have turned to it for satisfaction, my small group that I was a part of had taken a break for the summer, they were my accountability partners who helped keep me strong...
It was just a series of spirtual breakdowns, stop reading scripture, no accoutability, rarely praying...that I know played a small part in this."

- to that last line- it played not just a 'small' part in this, it meant EVERYTHING. If you had been seeking God, fellowshipping with others, and worshipping extravagantly no MATTER how YOU 'felt' then the moment you realized she was pulling at you in lust you would have done like scripture says - FLEE! God is the one and only, the most important, most high. i am so sorry for this. very sad.

i suggest you leave your wife a note... with a rather solemn tone, that you 2 need to talk or that you need to tell her something.. or soemthing along those lines, to lessen the blow. maybe she'll be prepared for big news if you do that and you can set the stage with a humble attitude. i suggest that you do it with any kind of sorry, humble attitude you can, kneeling i mean even that extreme...whatever you can think of. tell her what is going on, how sorry you are, how much you realize this will hurt her, how much you know you have let down the committment, and hurt you are that you ahve betrayed her trust and teh honor that you had for her. be sure to tell her and comfort her as best as you can that if she need stime alone that is great or whatever you can do to lay your very life down for her, you'll do anything to right this wrong to the best of your ability.

 

[SarahAblaze06]

btw- plz keep this thread updated for our prayers.

 

[KidDitto]

How to renew your mind -

I took a class once on the renewed mind and the organic side of what happens when we renew our minds. (The actual things that happen in our brains at a cellular kinda level)


It was involved and I will do my best to share it as it may be helpful, It was to me when I wanted to "understand" renewing my mind.

Zek, I mention it as you said you were scared and it happened in an instant. And you want to turn things around.

So, spiritually we ask God for deliverance. Then, we organically reprogram with scripture or healthy thinking. I hope I can explain it without pictures. Let me see if I can find a picture... Here...

The center is the neuron (egg thing) and the dendrites are the fiber things.

(There are Axons, Dendrites and neurons --I cannot find my notes so here we go, to my memory and understanding, the dendrites are the hairy looking fibers at the end of the axons and the center is the neuron)

To illustrate:
**** Click here to view

http://people.brandeis.edu/~rstewart/axon.gif

http://sulu.smpp.northwestern.edu/utilities/picture/brain_neuron.gif

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/brain-neuron.gif



As I can not place an image in the post at this time.****

Okay

I want to share with you that renewing your brain is spiritual as well as organic and will take time and consistent work.



Picture your thought patterns running through eggs with little fibers of hair on them next to another egg with little fibers of hair. The hairs of one egg are close to the other eggs with their fibers. A thought goes from the (center thing check picture above) egg down the little fiber at the end of the fiber is a space.

This is called a synapse lapse. That little space is where a thought jumps from one egg to the next developing a pattern of thinking.


So, If every time I think of cake I think “yummy, got to have it.” My thought jumps down the same sequence of brain cells. Each time the thought goes from a fiber it jumps the space between the dendrites of one neuron to another. And it deposits a chemical. Then, when we think of something our brain just starts to process that idea or concept with those same cells.

To renew your mind – the renewed mind is the key to power, you actually will reprogram your mind with new thoughts. And use NEW brain cells to create a new way of thinking!

And the old brain patterns will fight. But the more you blaze new trails in your mind you will learn to change your thinking. As you continue to put the new thought in your head it will become easier.

Eventually the new thoughts will have the chemical between the new connectors and the NEW thoughts will take hold organically. The old thoughts will fade but never leave as a trace of the chemical that made them will always be present.

So, it is a spiritual battle and an organic one. I just feel I am suppose to share this as it may help you or someone following this thread to understand the “battle” and the reprogramming your brain with scripture.

We are to put on the mind of Christ and that involves work, God does not DO it for us. We have to do it!

We are body, soul and spirit. God will battle the spirit as we resist, but we have to PUT on the mind of Christ. It takes effort but an organic change will take place as we continue to renew our brains.

http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/synapse.gif
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/synapse.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/synapse.html&h=426&w=400&sz=96&tbnid=3ItRBMhiztQJ:&tbnh=121&tbnw=114&start=16&prev=/images%3Fq%3Daxons%2Bdendrites%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26sa%3DG


http://www.technion.ac.il/technion/materials/ism/Docs/2001/Ziv.pdf

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Roger Penrose in his book The Emperor's New Mind describes the relevance of synaptic firing in the phenomenon of brain plasticity. He states, "It is actually not legitimate to regard the brain as simply a fixed collection of wired-up neurons. The interconnections between neurons are not in fact fixed but are changing all the time. I am referring to the synaptic junctions where the communication between different neurons actually takes place. Often these occur at places called dendrite spines, which are tiny protuberances on dendrites at which contact with synaptic knobs can be made. Here , 'contact' means not just touching, but leaving a narrow gap (synaptic cleft) of just the right distance - about one forty-thousandth of a millimeter. Now under certain conditions, these dendrite spines can shrink away and break contact, or they (or new ones) can grow to make new contact." )[/font]

I do not valid his concepts but here is where his explaination might be more lucid than mine.
Rom 12:2, And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, (KJV)

 

[KidDitto]

PS

Every wonder why Christ is the HEAD of the body? It is where the mind is and the mind tells the body what to do...

We are to put on the mind of Christ.....

Redo our thoughts... And our bodies will follow...

Cool huh?

NIV
Romans 8
4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;