I got the itch again.

[Jerlene]

So I used to be an addict when I was in high school. They had me switch to an alternative school and since then i've been doing much better. I didn't touch a drug for two, almost three, years this December. Anyway, lately my life has been so hard to live. A lot of the issues and obstacles that I thought I overcame is all coming back to me. I've been craving the nose candy for a while now and so far i've been able to resist but I think i'm about to break. The only reason I didn't do it before was because I have a significant other and I didn't want to forget about her. I know that if I go back to my old ways i'll forget about my other half and lose them.

Ah, I think this was just more of a rant. Bleh.

 

[WhoeverLovesGod01]

You have a female signifigant other? Ok, remember it's been three years. Think about all you've achieved for a moment. Go see a friend who won't tempt you.

 

[Jerlene]

Sorry. Typo. I must've had something else on my mind. *Him*. Anyway, yeh...maybe a therapist will do.

 

[jerry ralph]

get to an NA meeting

 

[Jerlene]

Nah, they don't work. They actually add to the problem.

 

[AngelDove1]

Nah, they don't work. They actually add to the problem.

How so?

 

[Jerlene]

Talking about it just makes me want it more.

 

[AngelDove1]

Talking about it just makes me want it more.

WoW!
maybe you haven't hit rock bottem yet.

 

[loveiseverywhere]

NA meetings don't help me either. The last thing I want to do is sit in a room full of other addicts talking about drugs. It makes me want it more. I listen to something spiritual and uplifiting and positive when I feel like using.

All I can say is this. You just think you want it. You really don't. Trust me. If you're like me, cocaine makes me so paranoid that I want to jump out of a window. My problem was with crack which is the evilist of evil there is. Just think about all the evil men whose hands cocaine travels through before we ingest it. Think about the people who are killed and the children who are abused because of that drug.

The devil lives and breathes on earth in the form of cocaine. Pure evil.

 

[LoG]

Talking about it just makes me want it more.

It's called "being triggered" and it is usually as a result of not having dealt with the triggers through the Steps. I used to think the same thing about meetings before I got involved in recovery as opposed to hanging around the fringes.
Most NA meetings I have attended over the years were quite adamant about not talking about the drugs of choice. If you ran into a meeting where they were doing that, try some other ones.

 

[Jerlene]

Meh. I just hate sitting in those rooms with those people. I don't want/need it.

 

[LoG]

Meh. I just hate sitting in those rooms with those people. I don't want/need it.

"those people"? You mean, ones like me and other assorted low-lifes?
We tend to think it a step up from the jails, institutions and graveyards that many of us wind up in if we don't humble ourselves.

 

[loveiseverywhere]

12 step programs don't work for everyone. There are plenty of books written by people who have found another path to peace. May I suggest a trip to Barnes and Noble or Books a Million and go to the recovery section. There's tons of helpful literature there. Get involved in something positive...it doesn't necessarily have to be NA. How about a bible study?

 

[LoG]

Looking for an easier, softer way is part of the human condition. It may work for some temporarily but who wants to risk a method that has maybe only worked for a few when there is a tried and proven method that has worked for many? When i hit bottom God made it quite clear to me that I didn't have time to try out different avenues. I had to go the route I disliked the most. NA/AA. Glad I did.

 

[Akathist]

Mod Hat On​

Greetings everyone, this thread has come to staff attention because some of the posts seem to border on flaming and appear rather harsh.

In addition, staff feel strongly that discouraging anyone from seeking the assistance of NA or other 12 Steps groups is not helpful. It is helpful to note that not all NA groups are run properly and if a group is discussing the drug of choice in a way that triggers others, then a different group should be sought out, but to dismiss this resource is not helpful.

Lets be a supportive group here and play nice.

 

[Cassiopeia]

Talking about it just makes me want it more.

My daughter also didn't want to go to the NA meetings and I have never pushed her to really do it. She did go through an out patient rehab program though and it was based on AA/NA.

If I can make a few suggestions that she has shared with me. She was a Crystal Meth user and alcohol as well. What my sweet daughter has done is figure out what in her life will give her a reason not to use. I knwo you are hanging in there for the sake of your SO but it won't be enough. My daughter is 21 now. She was using at your age now. She has substituted her need for Meth with working hard to fulfill her dreams. Her drug of choice now is her dance studies. She is always at the dance studio either studying or teaching. She changed her major to dance and is working as a personal trainer.

As a personal trainer she has a responsibility to her clients and she takes that very seriously. She says sometimes she still craves it but it is always a seasonal trigger or a memory trigger. If you are stressed out in life and having a hard time...start working out and I would recommend you see a doctor about some medications to help you with your staying clean. My daughter is on a drug that redistributes the seritonine in her brain. We just found out it doesn't replace it. There are many natural means through diet that you can help with your cravings.

And finally...I will tell you what she has asked me to remind her of now and again when she says the cravings are getting to her...

I am told to ask her.."if you use...THEN WHAT!" The reason talking isn't helping you is because it ISN'T. Some people are like that. So here is my suggestion...stop talking and start doing in your life. I see you are young...do you have plans for college? What in your life brings you joy? For me it is helping people at work and writing. Find a hobby or something that you can be passionate about. Get involved the business of living your life without drugs. If you find yourself feeling the pull to use...get up from where you are and what you are doing and do something ELSE...anything but do NOT use. Get your mind off of it. Walk yourself through your struggle one moment at a time and it does pass.

If you would like to know more...you can send me a PM and I will point you in the direction of some more help. I wish you all the best

Peace

 

[Cassiopeia]

Mod Hat On​

Greetings everyone, this thread has come to staff attention because some of the posts seem to border on flaming and appear rather harsh.

In addition, staff feel strongly that discouraging anyone from seeking the assistance of NA or other 12 Steps groups is not helpful. It is helpful to note that not all NA groups are run properly and if a group is discussing the drug of choice in a way that triggers others, then a different group should be sought out, but to dismiss this resource is not helpful.

Lets be a supportive group here and play nice.

I understand your concern and would just like to add that while the NA groups may not always be run properly and perhaps may not be available in someone's area, those people who are too shy to participate can find help at local OUT Patient rehab centers who do run their recovery programs on a 12 step basis.

 

[cajunlady]

Hi Jarlene,

My name is Sandy and I am a recovering crack addict....I have been clean & sober since December 2, 1997. I will pray that you don't go back to your old behaviors. If you are not careful and do not surrender everyday of your life to our Lord and Savior the evilness can slip back into your life as quick as the blink of an eye. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do to get where we need to be, like attending AA/NA meetings. I have been clean and sober for over 8 years and I barely make meetings anymore but at the beginning of my recovery I stayed in those meetings and they helped me save my life and brought me back to GOD. I think attending an AA/NA meeting would be better then entering a detox or a treatment facility in the future(that is if you make it back); don't you? I will be praying for you. May God bless you and keep you strong......

 

[Cassiopeia]

Well done Cajunlady...

That is so great Don't you think that just going to meetings can help a person even if they don't talk alot at first. I know alot of people are shy and need to just get the feel for things at first.

Did you find that your sponsors were pushy or are they pretty calm? I get the feeling our sister here needs some encouragement that it will be okay to venture out.

 

[cajunlady]

Well done Cajunlady...

That is so great Don't you think that just going to meetings can help a person even if they don't talk alot at first. I know alot of people are shy and need to just get the feel for things at first.

Did you find that your sponsors were pushy or are they pretty calm? I get the feeling our sister here needs some encouragement that it will be okay to venture out.

Yes Casiopeia, I do think that just going to meetings CAN and WILL help a person even if they don't talk alot, but that person must remain open minded and teachable. I didn't speak that much in meetings for a long time because I didn't know anything. Sometimes it is best to keep your mouth shut and your ears open.
Some sponsors can be very pushy and some can be easy, you have to find the one that is best for your recovery. I have been through many. I think that your daughter will be fine as long as she remains willing to go to any length for her recovery. You are a great Mom, keep encouraging your daughter. May God bless both of you.....
Oh, I also think that our sister is looking for the O.K. but she won't get it from me...been there, done that, don't want to ever go there again.....