I feel suicidal right now

[MadeInOz]

I don't know how to say this, but I feel really extremely depressed right now for reasons I have explained elsewhere. http://www.christianforums.com/t696996

I have really let my family and friends down, and I don't know how... I can't see the end of this situation, and I... I... my life which I had so carefully planned, or something, out is being increasingly flushed down the toilet, and I can't...

I have screwed up my own life and my family are getting hurt in the process... all I wish is that I could be out of their life and not such a burden ....

I wish I could see god at the moment,

please pray for me...

Dave

 

[Live4God]

PRAYing Right Now! I posted in Life stages also! Nick. L4G!

 

[caitlincares]

Dear Lord bringing Dave to you RIGHT NOW.
Wrap your arms of comfort around him.
Thank you Lord

 

[escaperoute]

Dave, stop what you're doing and call your pastor. Take a little time out to just seek some time with a prayer partner and definately talk to God. My prayers are with you, my friend.

 

[Violet]

I'm praying for you Dave. Remember that He loves you no matter what.

 

[Deana]

Dave,

You made a mistake, don't make another, you will get through this. Folks care about you and are praying for you

 

[devoted daughter]

I don't know how to say this, but I feel really extremely depressed right now for reasons I have explained elsewhere. http://www.christianforums.com/t696996

I have really let my family and friends down, and I don't know how... I can't see the end of this situation, and I... I... my life which I had so carefully planned, or something, out is being increasingly flushed down the toilet, and I can't...

I have screwed up my own life and my family are getting hurt in the process... all I wish is that I could be out of their life and not such a burden ....

I wish I could see god at the moment,

please pray for me...

Dave

Indeed, Dave, you made a big mistake, but the Lord is forgiving. We all make mistakes. Please know that your life is important, and as the saying goes "this too shall pass", and the other saying, "suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary propblem". Please seek treatment while you go through this phase of your life. God has blessed many professionals with the power to help guide us, and help us heal.
May the Lord bless you and give you strength, and may His Spirit guide and comfort you and bring you hope and peace. May he give you strength to be your own advocate to seek professional help to give you further assistance.

Have peace and hope, Dave, and remain prayerful. Don't give up, and please reach out for help and support

http://www.christianforums.com/f92

God bless,
DD

 

[but'n'ben]

I don't know how to say this, but I feel really extremely depressed right now for reasons I have explained elsewhere. http://www.christianforums.com/t696996

I have really let my family and friends down, and I don't know how... I can't see the end of this situation, and I... I... my life which I had so carefully planned, or something, out is being increasingly flushed down the toilet, and I can't...

I have screwed up my own life and my family are getting hurt in the process... all I wish is that I could be out of their life and not such a burden ....

I wish I could see god at the moment,

please pray for me...

Dave

I do too. If you go to Struggles thread and read "I want out" you'll see my problem. But that's only one of them. My life has collapsed and I've had enough.

But deep down, I know I could not commit suicide. I don't deny that I have asked God to take me. The main thing that scares me is that it may be a quick way out of problems in this life, but it's eternity in Hell. I do feel down, but I love God more that I feel depressed. When I am feeling bad, I imagine God's hand on my shoulder or imagine Him looking down at me. It always makes me feel better. I don't know if it will work with you but you could always give it a go.

 

[MadeInOz]

I am still alive... last night was really really hard... for a long time I just couldn't go to sleep, I couldn't stop my body shaking, I think I had a fever as well, which didn't help... thankyou for all your prayers and messages, they have given me a little ray of sunshine. I still don't know how my parents will take this... they know that it is something I have battled with for a long time, but they did not know how bad it really was, or that I've been on the brink of suicide as many times as I had.

I am praying for the courage to talk to my parents before the police arrive. *sigh*

 

[TravellingGrace]

Dave,

you are a precious child of God and He will always love you no matter what you do or say, since his Son died on the cross to forgive you for your sins!

I know what it's like to think there's no way out, and to think the only way to get out of the crud you're dealing with is to commit suicide but it's not.

God is there to help you through every situation, and you are going to become stronger from this. Don't worry about the lies printed in the newspapers, and in the media, because you and God know the truth and that's all that matters.

As for your parents, they should be understanding, afterall, they love you and they aren't going to hate you for making a mistake. Yes, sometimes we screw up so badly sometimes that we think nobody could ever continue to love us and that they would never forgive us but remember that love is patient, and kind and doesn't keep ANY record of wrong! That means that if you ask for forgiveness, God will wipe the slate clean and parents have a love that runs deep... not as deep as God's love, but deep enough that they will always love you no matter what, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it.

I pray God will guide you through this and give you the strength to deal with everything head on.

 

[MadeInOz]

Well, I made the first step, well, the second step really, after admitting my failings to God, and begging for his forgiveness. I told my mum the whole truth of what is going on, and admitted that I was an addict. She was... great... she cried, which I expected, but she hugged me, and said that she wanted to help. Thankyou Lord for mums.

Next step is my dad and brother, which is a different kettle of fish altogether. I pray for strength, and their understanding of my situation, and how bad I feel. I have betrayed their trust - particularly my brother's - and I know earning that back won't be easy.

I wanted to share a poem that I wrote some years ago when I was going through another suicidal moment. It is similar to Footprints in its theme, but is very me. It is something of free verse, but I believe that it was meant to be written back then, and meant to be read again now. It is partly sorrowful - the man in the story has missed out on a lot - but it... I don't know.


Writing in the sand

I was walking on the beach one day,
When upon the golden sand, I saw,
Words written in a hand I knew,
Though they seemed so old and jaded.

I see you young man, walking along,
Watching the world go by,
Don't take for granted the future,
The future will pass, tommorow turns to yesterday.

Make the most of today, and live all you can,
Don't forget who you are,
and to others, a man,
You are a person, you're not a mistake,

There's a place in the world, a difference to make.
As I passed on by, the words lingered still,
I walked down the beach, as my life on,
What difference have I made,
not so easy to see,
Trying too hard, just to be me.

As the noon turned to sunset, I passed by a log,
And scrawled thereupon were words like a fog,
For I am an old man now, and I look back and see,
Just the beginning of who I could be.

Dave

Thankyou all, and God Bless

 

[caitlincares]

I am glad you told your mum. I am glad that went well.
Mothers will always stand by their children.
Now she can pray over you as well.
God Bless.

 

[Takesha]

Dear Dave,

How I praise God that you came to CF, and what a privilage it is to help bear your burdens and carry your needs to my Father in prayer.

God is the God of second chances Dave and thirds and fourths.
Even the Apostle Paul said that there was a war going on within him. The things He wanted to do he didn't do, and the things he didn't want to do those are the things he did. Boy, I can relate to that.

Now every crisis in our life is an opportunity to repent and give it to God and watch how he is going to work it out. We don't always get out of things scott free, but God does forgive us and that's the important thing.

You are a precious child of God and He loves you no matter what the enemy tries to tell you. Why, your so precious and valuable Jesus gave up His very life for you, so you know that He wants to bring you through this too!

I am glad to hear that you were able to talk to your mom and I will be praying for you. Sometimes it seems so bad you think that there is no way out but don't forget that your heavenly father who created the universe and eveything in it... has the power to bring you through this, and He hasn't given up on you, so don't give up on yourself. Just lean on him and He will carry you, for in our weakness He is made strong!

I will be praying for you.

Takesha

 

[elanor]

Dave, you did just the right thing by reaching out--to people here, to your mom. That's exactly what you should have done. With these decisions, you've begun making good choices, good steps. Even if the ones to come are difficult, I hope you are encouraged just knowing that you are doing what is right.

What everyone here says is true--God loves you so much, and He will be with you every step of the way. I am so grateful that He has an unending supply of forgiveness, encouragement, and new beginnings. May He bless you with a lifted heart and with courage. Please keep us posted.

 

[Violet]

 

[Takesha]

Hi Dave,

Just checking in to see how your doing today.

I've been keeping you in my prayers. Let us know how you are doing.

Takesha

 

[MadeInOz]

Update On the March:

Last night was kind of tough, but in a way, it worked out for the best. My mum hauled me out of my room and said to my dad & brother "right, dave has something he needs to say" (there goes my carefully planned speech and prepared timeslot after dinner) Anyway, it was hard, but my dad & brother were ... good about it, I mean, it's a big thing to say that kind of stuff goes on. We had a discussion about things, and we're sticking together on this.

The cop from the computer squad rang up this morning and said he would be coming around in an hour and a half. A more decent hour than the last time (dawn raid). Anyway, he showed up and explained the situation... which was not good, but not as terrible from a legal perspective as it is from a social perspective. I had to basically refuse to be interviewed on tape, and got my court date (30th june) and that was about it.

Somehow 'refusal' seems like a nasty word for invoking my right not to be interviewed, but I guess it is what it is. I thanked him for being reasonable on behalf of my family, and he was a decent guy, on the night when I was first taken in, he rang up to see if we were okay, and to apologize for what happened that morning. I understand that it is his job, and I did stuff that was wrong, and it's his job to police that. There's give and take I guess, and I was a reasonable crim. (hehe)

So yeah, that's about it. Thanks again,

Dave

 

[thirsty]

I don't know how to say this, but I feel really extremely depressed right now for reasons I have explained elsewhere. http://www.christianforums.com/t696996

I have really let my family and friends down, and I don't know how... I can't see the end of this situation, and I... I... my life which I had so carefully planned, or something, out is being increasingly flushed down the toilet, and I can't...

I have screwed up my own life and my family are getting hurt in the process... all I wish is that I could be out of their life and not such a burden ....

I wish I could see god at the moment,

please pray for me...

Dave

We have all made mistakes. I myself have doen things that I thought were never going to blow over but they did. I was not a Christain till 4 yrs. ago and many of the problems I was facing have been almost forgotten. Some things still come back to me and that is the devil trying to remind me of my past. I tell him when he trys to remind of m past I remind him of his future, he does not have one, I do. I have one because of the cleansing blood of Christ. There is nothing we can do to seperate us from the Love of God. There is no sin the Lord's blood can not wash clean. Let me say it again NOTHING.
What you did was a mistake. We make mistakes because we are human If we were perfect we would not need Christ. The Father new before the earth was created what faults you you have and what mistakes you would make. He knows all of our faults. Was He surprised when you did this,no.
There is a way out of very situation through Jesus, there is nothing He can not make right. Everything right now may seem that there is noway out.
It does not matter how deep of a ditch you may be in but God the Father from His throne in heaven will stretch out His hand to you and pull you up, just extend yours to His. He is waiting.
I will tell you this however, taking your own life will be one mistake that Jesus will not be able to help you with. ybiC

 

[sofree]

Dave, we are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. We excercise poor judgement and make wrong choices and have many regrets. None of us is perfect. But our God is a forgiving God. He says that though our sins are red as scarlet, he has made them white as snow. When God forgives us, he wipes our slates clean. We get many many chances and many many fresh starts with Him, because He loves us soooo much. I find that what is often more difficult than accepting God's forgiveness is forgiving ourselves. I will be praying for you.

Lord, I lift Dave up to you in prayer. Father, wrap your loving arms around him and give him comfort and peace. Wipe his tears, give him restful sleep, and song of joy in his heart. Help him to have joy even in the midst of this trial Father. Lord, your word tells us that you can give us peace that surpasses all understanding. I ask you would impart this miraculous peace to Dave as he leans on you. He needs your strength Father. Help him to trust in you and cast all his burdens on you. Please give him confidence in your forgiveness. In Jesus name, Amen.

YSIC

 

[GMRELIC]

Dave,
ok you made a mistake, you are embarassed as is your family, that will pass.
but suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem, The pain something like that causes to your friends and family is nearly unbearable, suicide destroys more than just the life of the one that does it. God will help you thru this situation, it will get better, you just got to have faith in that. God has forgivin you, your family will forgive you, you just need to forgive yourself, and quit beating yourself up, take your punishment, and use it as a learning experiance, nothing is more than you can handle with the help of our Lord, May God Bless you and yes I will be praying for you and your family.