I feel lost.....

[SteVenT2323]

So I am 22 and I just broke up with my GF, she is 21. So it all started about a month ago when she got a strong urge from God that she might be her destiny to remain single so I went through with it, also she has been struggling with life for the past couple months with school,work, family friends just everything. So i thought it was just a rough patch and we would get through it

Now I have not been the best Christian ever, I have only gone in times of need really.. when i was younger like 16-18 roughly i went every Sunday and I know that is bad so when this all happened, well actually about a month before I kept praying for guidance (every night now for about 60 days). And so we have been like on, off for the month.

And during the times of on its been going very slow no kissing or anything intimate and we where like sacrifice now and we will be rewarded later, yes we had pre-martial sex but repented now and thought it was alright in God's eyes. Which i know is mixed views, some say you repented you are forgiven and others say no. So I feel that if it is right in God's eyes then thats who i take my answer from.
So now my Gf has pretty much broke things fully off said i need to be single and I am at a loss because during this past month has been the happiest month of our lives. And when we "broke up" the first time we felt a really happy peace like this is what is supposed to happy and the next day we went to lunch very awkward at 1st but at the end we where laughing and smiling more then ever. Also like why would God keep us this close for the month if he wanted us to remain single?

But what I am more confused on is like I have been praying for guidance and it seems like God is leading me to her, saying stay here she needs you she is going through some rough times but with my gf it seems God is telling her she needs to be single. Also in the times of on/off she was so caring like she if she hadnt heard from me in a hour or 2 or whatever she would like text saying are you ok and i felt the most love.
So I am confused like on what i should do, like if i should stay close or like part ways we talked about marriage almost from day one and she just has everything i ever wanted

She is the love of my life and I don't want to let her go, like she is everything i want and more. Yes, I know there is somebody out there for everyone and everything happens for a reason. And i know everyone says this but i don't wanna look for anyone right now or ever, I'm going through college and I don't want to think about that, but i just want to think of a life with her thats it! I know most will say just part ways, but idk like its so different i have had gf in the past none like her and none with the love and it just hard to believe that there is some one "better" then her.

So i guess my ultimate question is like what should I do? IF we feel conflicting things and Also like why would God keep us this close for the month if he wanted us to remain single? Like why go through all this hurt or false hope or was it self afflicted and after the 1st we should of just said no more.

Also i should add we where together for 16 months and before we started, before i met her, i prayed for God to send someone in my life not really a gf and she said she did similar so now that confused me to, like why did god put us together to rip us apart, but i know that answer might come out later too

 

[Wolfe]

Alright, I'm going to get straight to my point.
You obviously love her, and she seems to love you.
Tell her what you have told us in this post, and how she responds will be your answer.
As for God, he will forgive you if you truly repent, and follow Jesus.

If you love her, I would not let her get away, nor would I force her to stay with you.
Give it another shot, and if she is meant to remain single, keep in mind, it may not be forever She may need to focus on other things right now, and being in a relationship would stop her from doing so.
If you really, truly love this girl, I believe it will work out for the best in the end. Even if it seems like its not for the best now, you may come to realize that it was.

 

[SteVenT2323]

Thanks Wolfe! Yea no we kind of talked about all this last night like we are going to remain friends, and get our lives together more and like get more focused on us and God and if it is right for us to be together then it will show in time but right now we need to find ourselves considering we are still young, doing what we love to do and not spending so much time with each other. We also both kind of came to the realization that we have been on a relationship more then single which is not always best. Also that like one thing I loved to do is go fishing and have not been in over 2.5 years so thats big and I lost touch with that.

But thanks a lot for the answer.

 

[ClarinetScore]

Based on your first post, I'd like to clarify a few things. Foremost, I know how it feels... and based on experience and scripture (the account of Balaam), what we desire most can sound like the voice of God to us. You're right and smart to take time and get away but I suggest learning more about God, since He's the only one we can really count on to be in a relationship with us 100% of the time. So yeah, take time and maybe you'll be so close to His heart and know His voice so well, this kind of hurt won't happen again. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church said something profound about this: The emphasis on scripture is more of becoming the right one rather than finding the right one. This is for me as well, that if we're fulfilled in Christ, it's going to look for better than being desperate for a relationship. Not saying that you're desperate though.

 

[SteVenT2323]

Based on your first post, I'd like to clarify a few things. Foremost, I know how it feels... and based on experience and scripture (the account of Balaam), what we desire most can sound like the voice of God to us. You're right and smart to take time and get away but I suggest learning more about God, since He's the only one we can really count on to be in a relationship with us 100% of the time. So yeah, take time and maybe you'll be so close to His heart and know His voice so well, this kind of hurt won't happen again. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church said something profound about this: The emphasis on scripture is more of becoming the right one rather than finding the right one. This is for me as well, that if we're fulfilled in Christ, it's going to look for better than being desperate for a relationship. Not saying that you're desperate though.

Thanks man,

I love pastor Steven, but yeah I went to church today and they said i kind of got to let go for right now and God has a plan for you for the rest for your life and you need to fully trust him. So after church and last night I basically prayed that i need to just follow your path because you know whats best. I need to trust him more then my own opinions because what i may want may be what i think is right but God might differ and the only one that matters is God's

 

[Rasnosauj]

So I am 22 and I just broke up with my GF, she is 21. So it all started about a month ago when she got a strong urge from God that she might be her destiny to remain single so I went through with it, also she has been struggling with life for the past couple months with school,work, family friends just everything. So i thought it was just a rough patch and we would get through it

Now I have not been the best Christian ever, I have only gone in times of need really.. when i was younger like 16-18 roughly i went every Sunday and I know that is bad so when this all happened, well actually about a month before I kept praying for guidance (every night now for about 60 days). And so we have been like on, off for the month.

And during the times of on its been going very slow no kissing or anything intimate and we where like sacrifice now and we will be rewarded later, yes we had pre-martial sex but repented now and thought it was alright in God's eyes. Which i know is mixed views, some say you repented you are forgiven and others say no. So I feel that if it is right in God's eyes then thats who i take my answer from.
So now my Gf has pretty much broke things fully off said i need to be single and I am at a loss because during this past month has been the happiest month of our lives. And when we "broke up" the first time we felt a really happy peace like this is what is supposed to happy and the next day we went to lunch very awkward at 1st but at the end we where laughing and smiling more then ever. Also like why would God keep us this close for the month if he wanted us to remain single?

But what I am more confused on is like I have been praying for guidance and it seems like God is leading me to her, saying stay here she needs you she is going through some rough times but with my gf it seems God is telling her she needs to be single. Also in the times of on/off she was so caring like she if she hadnt heard from me in a hour or 2 or whatever she would like text saying are you ok and i felt the most love.
So I am confused like on what i should do, like if i should stay close or like part ways we talked about marriage almost from day one and she just has everything i ever wanted

She is the love of my life and I don't want to let her go, like she is everything i want and more. Yes, I know there is somebody out there for everyone and everything happens for a reason. And i know everyone says this but i don't wanna look for anyone right now or ever, I'm going through college and I don't want to think about that, but i just want to think of a life with her thats it! I know most will say just part ways, but idk like its so different i have had gf in the past none like her and none with the love and it just hard to believe that there is some one "better" then her.

So i guess my ultimate question is like what should I do? IF we feel conflicting things and Also like why would God keep us this close for the month if he wanted us to remain single? Like why go through all this hurt or false hope or was it self afflicted and after the 1st we should of just said no more.

Also i should add we where together for 16 months and before we started, before i met her, i prayed for God to send someone in my life not really a gf and she said she did similar so now that confused me to, like why did god put us together to rip us apart, but i know that answer might come out later too

Dude, don't be like the men that try to get back with a woman, when they broke up. Relationships get better as you mature. Trust me, there's someone better who won't want to leave you. A better one, just like God sent the first one.

 

[biblicalbro]

Breakups are never fun but sometimes necessary for both individuals to grow. Being friends post breakup I wouldn't recommend especially if you still have feelings left over. What if it's different in her case? She could very well be with someone within the next 6 months regardless of what she said. Trust me, I've been there. You're told to wait it out and see but then someone else comes along, while deep down inside you ultimately want to be with her. Yet she moves on leaving your heart broken since you waited.

My suggestion, go your own way. Friends with your ex is usually never the same anyway. Again, I speak subjectively.
What you need is 1) obviously God and 2) close friends you can talk to and help you through this process.

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

I am sorry you are going through this. I am going to tell you what I always tell people: There may be a time that something happens and we don't understand, and sometimes we will never find out WHY it happened. In a way this can be a very good thing for the both of you. My advice is seek the Lord. Don't worry about girls or relationships, but focus on HIM. Not a woman. Yes, it hurts but He will heal that pain. If you truly seek the Lord and truly repent, the pain you feel now is no where compared to the joy you will feel later on. Relationships are not everything in life. A successful relationship is when you focus Christ in that relationship, but you first have to have a relationship with Him before you can hope to have a romantic/physical relationship with someone else. So please, take this time to spend it with the Lord; seek Him. Pray, read your Bible, just focus on Him. It may be that He feels that neither of you are ready for a relationship and is trying to pull you closer to Him.

 

[SteVenT2323]

I am sorry you are going through this. I am going to tell you what I always tell people: There may be a time that something happens and we don't understand, and sometimes we will never find out WHY it happened. In a way this can be a very good thing for the both of you. My advice is seek the Lord. Don't worry about girls or relationships, but focus on HIM. Not a woman. Yes, it hurts but He will heal that pain. If you truly seek the Lord and truly repent, the pain you feel now is no where compared to the joy you will feel later on. Relationships are not everything in life. A successful relationship is when you focus Christ in that relationship, but you first have to have a relationship with Him before you can hope to have a romantic/physical relationship with someone else. So please, take this time to spend it with the Lord; seek Him. Pray, read your Bible, just focus on Him. It may be that He feels that neither of you are ready for a relationship and is trying to pull you closer to Him.

Thanks, I have been trying to do exactly what you have said it is just hard some days because i am in college and that gets in the way but i have a little session in the morning when i wake up and then pray throughout the day.

Thank you for your response

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

Thanks, I have been trying to do exactly what you have said it is just hard some days because i am in college and that gets in the way but i have a little session in the morning when i wake up and then pray throughout the day.

Thank you for your response

Always make time for God. Even if it's five to ten minutes of Bible reading. In the morning, before bed, whatever you can.