I don't think I believe in God anymore - Moved From New Member Intro's

[quickdraw]

Hello everyone. I'm a life-long Christian who was educated in Catholic
schools from grade school through college. Since then I've been a member of small protestant churches and one of the country's largest mega-churches. Like most of you, I've had my ups and downs with spiritual life - there were times that I felt lukewarm about my relationship with God and there were times I was very excited about my journey. However, I think I'm at the point , for the first time, where I just don't believe in God.

For most of my life, I've lived in middle to upper middle class suburbs where most people considered themselves Christians. Several years ago I moved to an area of the country where very few people attend church. In my opinion , these people live their lives based on Christian principles (even though they often don't believe in God) more than the Christians I lived with. It's been refreshing to live with people who aren't hoarding material wealth and trying to impress everyone by living in huge suburban palaces. The whole Republican war thing is getting to me too. I don't have a problem with war when it's necessary, it's just that I don't think we've had a necessary war in 50 years or so. It seems like Christians are always involved with war when the bible promotes peace (I really don't want to get in a war debate, it's just part of what I'm struggling with.)

So basically, I have a problem with a lot of so-called Christians. However,
I am familiar enough with the bible to know God says that a lot of people who call themselves Christians don't really know him, so I realize that
judging Christianity by the actions of many Christians isn't a reason to doubt the existence of God. I know what's really important is my personal connection with God, but I'm not feeling a connection. When I was at the peak of my belief, I read the bible a lot and realized the more I read - the stronger my faith. Now I find myself reading it and thinking that it seems so imperfect, without divinity, as if it was written by men with no connection to God or the Holy Spirit. It seems vague at best and contradictory at worst. It seems to show a lack of respect for women (I'm a man) which only strengthens my feeling that it was written by men in an era when women were seen as second class citizens. And I don't even want to get into the dinosaurs....

I just don't hear from God anymore, and I don't feel like he's listening to me.
There's one possible explanation though. I have a couple of sins in my life that I just can't seem to give-up, and if there is a God I know he's disappointed about them. One of the sins is actually a slap in the face to Him since he has already provided for me very well in this area.

Another concern I have concerns the biblical instruction to not move
away from fellow Christians because we are at risk of losing our faith. Well I've done that, although I go to church, but I look back at the Christians I used to know and I just don't see Christ in them.

I'm lost, and If I don't have contact from God I don't see myself going back.

 

[RestoreTheRiver]

Hello, and welcome! Glad to have you with us.

God still believes in you! Seek Him, and you will find Him. May He reveal in and through you all the wonders of His Love, in a fresh, deep, life-changing encounter; and may He bring His people into your life.

Michael

 

[Avolarx]

Welcome to the site! I hope it will help you. I have went through crisis of faith too yes, but important is a comitted decision. There were times when I felt like God was too far and Christianity wasn't giving anything to me. And times when I was angry at some Christians who instead of spreading love were heartless and judgmental towards other people. But I have always known that I need God because otherwise my life would be empty and hopeless... And when I again determined to turn back to him, to start praying every day again although I didn't feel anything, then God himself allowed me to feel his love again. He want let you down if you really long for him, in spite of doubts.

 

[quickdraw]

Welcome to the site! I hope it will help you. I have went through crisis of faith too yes, but important is a comitted decision. There were times when I felt like God was too far and Christianity wasn't giving anything to me. And times when I was angry at some Christians who instead of spreading love were heartless and judgmental towards other people. But I have always known that I need God because otherwise my life would be empty and hopeless... And when I again determined to turn back to him, to start praying every day again although I didn't feel anything, then God himself allowed me to feel his love again. He want let you down if you really long for him, in spite of doubts.

One of the things you brought up is actually part of my problem. You wrote

"I have always known that I need God because otherwise my life would be empty and hopeless"

This is why many atheists, who I may be about to join, feel almost every culture has "created" a God. Almost as a crutch. And it makes sense to me.
It seems like coming up with a God is in our human nature.

But you also speak of a commitment and this is very true. I have spent very little time in prayer and this is probably one of my main problems. My church stresses that our priorities lay where we spend our time, and I've spent very little time speaking with God lately.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I'm glad you've found your way back.

 

[Avolarx]

It's true that if the "crutch" was the only reason why a person believes it would not be sufficient. Sure my faith gives me psychical comfort, peace and hope. But there must be also another basis for that, also one of reason and not just of emotion. If there was no real basis for the religion then it really wouldn't make sense to follow it.
I think I can believe that such a basis exists for Christianity. I have read books and online texts related to the gospels and how they were written and to the NT culture and early church. And from that I think it's safe to believe that what the apostels preached and wrote was their real experience with Jesus and not just a made up story.
There must be both sides I think - an intellectual one so that you know your religion has a basis in the real world and history, and once your reason accepts it then there's time to build a deeper relationship with God on a personal level, specially in prayer which is very important.

 

[Beckyy25]

Hello and welcome to the forums. I'm glad that you are here, that you joined a Christian community even if you feel you do not believe in the existence of God anymore.

Honestly, after reading what you wrote, I did not know what to tell you. I want to encourage you to get closer to God again, because I know He cares for you, He loves you, He wants you back!

I can only tell you that I too had my ups and downs in my spiritual life, one of my greatest falls was about 3 years ago, when I thought that God can be found in Islam, I used to pray 5 times a day, I even started to learn Arabic and struggled to pray my prayers in Arabic, I tried to do everything that this religion asks people to do, just in the hope that I will get closer to God.
But after some months I realized that what I was doing there was not the right thing, every time I bowed down in these prayers it was like someone would whisper in my ear that what I was doing there was wrong. I always had a feeling inside me that I have to change something. And I started praying to God, I prayed honestly and I asked Him to show me a sign, to show me which way I should choose, Islam or Christianity. And one day at church a pastor said during his sermon all of a sudden: "I'm showing you all the time, why don't you see!" He said that sentence without any connection to his sermon, and I understood this was for me. This was my answer. And I knew God does indeed exist, and He does love me, and He wants me to turn away from my sinful behaviors and practices (which were some personal issues and the fact I wanted to become a Muslim). I felt so relieved in that time, I felt God's presence again in my life after an absence for some months.

You know, I think you have to make a step towards God, you have to take time and pray, pray honestly, just tell God whatever bothers you, no matter what, confess you sins and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. And then be patient and wait and see what will happen.

I hope you will try that out, because you don't have anything to lose, but you can win everything!

I hope you will enjoy your time here at CF.
God bless you!

 

[Ariela]

I finally figured out after years and years there are heretical Christians (for lack of a better term - look it up in the dictionary), and there are true Christians. Get back with those who are true to God, and the Bible, and I think you will be surprised. Wishing you well...

 

[quickdraw]

Thanks to all of you who took the time to welcome me and comment on my problem. I've decided to spend time each morning with my bible and allow God to speak with me if He chooses. I'll also do a bible study with my bible reading.
I remain a bit skeptical, but I feel a bit more at peace now that I've at least started to actively search for Him. Maybe I really do believe, because I suspect this is going to work out and will just end up being just another valley
in the peaks and valleys relationship I've had with Christianity and God. Although this is certainly the deepest valley yet.

 

[TigerLily5]

With me, it was a matter of being able to see all of the evil in the world, and it made me believe if there was such a thing as evil (obviously), that there had also to be extraordinary good, too. That would have to be a loving God, allowing the world to see what it is like without Him. That's the way it worked out for me. I hope you are blessed by being here at CF.

 

[Stephen Kendall]

Thanks to all of you who took the time to welcome me and comment on my problem. I've decided to spend time each morning with my bible and allow God to speak with me if He chooses. I'll also do a bible study with my bible reading.
I remain a bit skeptical, but I feel a bit more at peace now that I've at least started to actively search for Him. Maybe I really do believe, because I suspect this is going to work out and will just end up being just another valley
in the peaks and valleys relationship I've had with Christianity and God. Although this is certainly the deepest valley yet.

I believe in God, and at times believe that I don't measure up well to his expectations. To remove God from my life isn't possible. I have had too much knowledge and to many personal supernatural things to have happened in my life. I would believe worst than you. Instead of not believing in God, at times it is hard to believe in my worth, integrity and especially my abilities (self-confidence) (not a good budgeter, not very practical worker or planner). I pray to God for wisdom, for I lack it much. I love to be inspired and so love Bible studies that I may be inspired to speak what I believe God wants me to. However, being without self-worth seems ironic. I love to read the Bible, because I love to hear what I believe in already and to understand better its messages and predictions.

My peaks have flat tops (my self worth seemed to have flatten them). My valleys are when I didn't seek God and sinned (uncontrollable ones which I hated and ones that I chose on purpose). For the last several years, I am on a plateau and have been there for awhile (I seek God & Christ and not sin (have no love of sin)). I seek God and want to help others. I am intelligent, yet a bit flaky (going off on tangents, wasting time and other precious resources). So, I use my intelligence & knowledge of God & Christ to share the meanings of the scriptures. I have had a valley of death in my past, so I know the lows that many speak of. I have had two dominate such valleys. I cried a lot. I sought for help. In the last one, I cried directly to God for help. It is unusual that God is so gentle and quiet in helping. We are spiked with emotions, especially in a valley (of death) as I have been in, but God is like smiling, listening and quietly helping (almost as if allowing us to help ourselves through it all). You know, I just want to have accomplish things for God, before I come to see him. In the mission trip that I took in 2004 in Mexico, God was there, we all felt him. Our hearts were as one, yet we hardly knew each other, unless it was somehow spiritually that we had knowledge. I was told by a man of many mission trips for God, that you can not expect a mission trip to be like the one that we all experience then. They were rare. I believe they are common, but I haven't been but on one mission trip. I want to go again, not for the feeling, but to be there for God again. I want to serve him in what ever way possible. I don't care about accomplishments, but on his will and orders & desires for me. I have never been a practical man, yet I love to get inspired to the nth degree. I love to serve God, in his way though, I pray.

I have searched out the stories about those reasons to not believe: atheist's theologies, similarities that seem to make rubbish of Christianity and other religions, the mental concept of earth early society's development needing a crutch, God, to believe in and the list goes on. I have read a lot and love to be on both sides of the camps. I want to know what others think, not to form my own opinion, but out of my love of science & truth. I just want to see the whys of other's thoughts. My belief in God seems to have never been formed by myself. I believed a long time ago, with not much memory of a time of a beginning. I don't form my God, but wait upon him to show me himself. I have my hunches of his will and determinations, but can't declare what I don't really know. Theologies quickly display all sorts of knowledge and generally accepted theories of it, but in reality, we just need to listen to Jesus and obey him, he will reveal himself through his Holy Spirit.

The older I get, the closer I am to death. Some how, this makes me bold, yet seeking peace and God's will alone, through Jesus. I love to speak up in a crowd of people about God & Jesus. I can't wait to be inspired to speak up, yet I must be patient till I get that inspiration to speak. The more patient the better. I am puzzled by the displeasure of some people towards me. What I speak about is for us all to avoid the theologies of man and to simply return to obedience & meditation towards Jesus & his words, and with many examples to support this. A lot of people are inspired by what I say. The people in Mexico seemed to have been also. If I never desired to speak up about what is laid upon my heart in the wisdom of God & Christ, then my spiritual life would be lacking a lot. Somehow, though, God would still have a great influence.

I have two brothers (non Christians) that I tried to reach, but in the efforts seem to have lost them. I speak with candor, confidence, conviction, intelligence and direct, but I could not influence them. Neither, seemed Jesus was able to with his own (home country (town where he was raised up in)).

What is worship to God for me is to be inspired to speak after listening to others or the Bible. I want to inspire others, protect the Gospel and clear up things like the unnecessary leaders' derived & dividing theologies; yet, I pray, seek God's will over my own always. I don't follow any leader, except the Holy Spirit & Christ & God above. I find obedience to Jesus' teachings & commands as the core of my belief and message to others.

Why not read some unusual books? Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand and Missiles over Cuba by Tom White. Another one is Born to Die about a linguist Columbia missionary, Chet .... The Catacombs of Rome would be interesting. To have a love for God, believing him, starts with obeying Jesus Christ (not the edicts of man (Christian Theologies)). Accepting the Bible as preserved for us to hear Christ Jesus is enough; from here we build our hearts and follow him. The things that great Christians like Richard Wurmbrand, his wife Sabina, Tom White and others did were simple; they obeyed and followed Jesus. They were filled in the process, overflowingly.

Sorry to be so long winded. I am writing too much to go thoroughly back through to edit out my mistakes (please forgive me for this). I keep finding evidences of God by the little that I do. I am overwhelmed by his gentle, peaceful and loving ways. The one time that I remember Him coming to me directly, I remember how bad I appeared, ashamed of myself before him and realizing my selfish inclination, not really desiring him. He came with a warmth, gentleness and deep love. I can see why he is called light. I was not deserving of his appearing to me. I asked him to not come yet. I wish that I was ready then. I hope to be in the future and always. My understanding has become great over the years, though many don't like my message (obeying Jesus (alone, not man's theologies plus him)).

Love to you. May God enrich your heart and that we all stand together with even our love here for him. If you worship God through Christ alone without man's so called main Christian Theologies, you will have an honest worship. Obeying Jesus, doesn't seem to be top priority in Churches, but should and should be taught fully to understand him & our Father in Heaven.

There is a great similarity with a recent find (Dr. Joel Furhman's news (and others,now) for the world) and with obeying Jesus alone as from the Bible (as unleavened bread from God), this is that both are simple in their natural form and are very good for your spirit & body. This analogy is unique, for if one wants to get closer to his best health, listen to the simple 'Return to whole foods (nothing added or processed) of Dr. Joel Furhman's and now to Jesus' preserved teachings and commands of the Bible (unleavened (beware of the leavening of the Pharisees)). Science is showing what is harming us through our diet through the studies of Dr. Joel Furhman and that same is true for our spirits; that the leavening added to the pure commands and teachings of Jesus is very cancerous and harmful towards your spiritual body as would the processed foods and added non whole food ingredients be towards your natural body. You obey one Jesus and master, and you are having but one love and obedience, yet to the dismay of the theologians, but to maturity and good spiritual health with the anti-deathbodies of the Holy Spirit always living within you, just like that of the antioxidants from whole foods helping the natural body to live better and away from many diseases, like cancer.

Much love and prayers for you. Have a great day. Good night, it is late again.

 

[Foreshadow]

Welcome to CF! May your seeking bring you to the light whereever that is.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Hello and welcome, If you need anything, prayer or just to chit chat you can always message or comment me. Hope you pull up a seat and learn alot. Pray you come back to the lord, knowing and love him.
So glad you have joined this wonderful site.

God Bless you, Youth Pastor Kristina

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I have included a list of things God has done with me, that I believe shows that there is a God. Hope it helps.

One morning I got up and walked into the hall and I heard a voice say "How would you like to be stabbed in the Valley". The Valley was the rough end of town, and the voice scared me a little, I wondered if I had done something to offend God. I had planned to go down to the Valley to ask people out to church as was my habit at the time. In the end I went anyway regardless of the fear. I walked up to the first person I met and asked him if he would like to go out to church. He said to me "I am an atheist, I don't believe in God". I just said "fine", but hoped to change his mind. He then proceeded to unbutton his shirt and showed me scar marks up and down his chest and stomach. He said to me, "I was attacked by a knife wielding man in the Valley some time ago and spent months recovering in hospital, How could God allow that to happen to me". Then I knew why God had said in the morning "How would I like to be stabbed?". God understood this man, but had a good plan for him. Some weeks latter this man came out to church and became a Christian.

Some time after the second Gulf War an Australian man Douglas Wood was captured by terrorists in Iraq, who made demands for a ransom or he would be executed. I set about fasting and praying for his release, I said to God "You know where he is....tell me". Three words entered my mind ABC, Bizaar and "A-meal". I thought "I am going crazy what has all that got to do with him. Bizaar I though "this is Bizarre". I thought maybe "A-meal" is a town so I searched a map of Iraq for a town of that name, but found nothing that really matched. Some time latter Douglas Wood was freed by US troops who came across his captors. It was not until latter that I actually discovered what the three words meant. I was on a forum libertyunites.us and came across a post by a user called ABC in the post she appealed to the captors to release Douglas Wood because he had gone to a/or the Bazaar and bought food for homeless people and had provided them with "A-meal". I believe God saw this action too and blessed Douglas Wood with an escape from his captors.

One time I thought about suing some one but felt bad about it because I did not want to give a bad impression about what a Christian is like. SO I prayed and asked God to show me clearly what to do. Latter that day I opened my bible at random, selecting a random verse and it opened to 1Co 6:7 "Nay, already it is altogether a defect in you, that ye have lawsuits one with another. Why not rather take wrong? why not rather be defrauded?" So I knew what God was thinking, no lawsuit.

At one point in my life I was praying for scientific cures for illnesses like cancer. Because I was on a science kick I thought would it not be fun to create a real life dinosaur. I wanted Jesus just for fun to show me how to create a Real Live Dinosaur, he can show us anything you know if he wants, but when I asked him how to start recreating a Dinosaur. Jesus spoke into my head the sentence "I bood", it entered my mind when I was awake, a term I had never heard before. I decided to look it up on the Internet and I found out the following: You see, the children of Semai are taught from an early age, the concept of "bood." If a parent asks a child to do something and the child replies "I bood," in other words, "I don't feel like doing that," the matter is closed. Bood means gently No.

One day I was witnessing to a Muslim and he asked me why we ate pork. I used the verse out of the bible which says "It is not what enters the mouth that defiles a man but what comes out of the mouth". After some general discussion I finished for the night. I asked God to give me a verse from the bible to encourage me. I opened the bible at random and selected a random verse. It opened to the exact same verse that I had used with the Muslim. The one about food not defiling. So I knew that God was approving of what I had been talking about.
"What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him "unclean.'"- Mat 15:11

 

[andy1982]

I thought I'd share something:

I'm personally having the worst time of my life at the moment. I'm 27 years old and am losing my beloved husband to homosexuality, I've lost my job, I've moved out of the apartment we got together, I don't have much of financial security and I have absolutely no family here where I live (they are all far far away).

I thought I would die and totally break down, in a situation like this, it's easy to say "God's not there, if he were, how could he let this happen?" but I still believe in Him and I know what's happening has an explanation, because He always has a plan.

So I pray to him every day, to give me strength, to help me and my husband survive this and to forgive me for my mistakes and my sins and to guide me through this rough time.

So He's been there for me, every time I break down, I get on my knees and pray and he blesses me and gives me the energy to face the day.

I can't even tell you how I found this forum, I was just searching the net for something totally different and now here I am. That must be His work too.

So don't give up on Him and He won't give up on you, because He indeed is a loving and forgiving God.

God bless you.