I don't really know how to talk to people. How do I fix that?

[zxcv]

Obviously, I'm not that good with talking to people or making friends. What do I need to do or where do I need to go help me fix that. I'm guessing I'll probably need help with body language and social skills too.

 

[bèlla]

I recommend Toastmasters.

• They’re supportive.
• You receive constructive feedback.
• Everyone is there to learn.
• You build communication, social, and leadership skills.
• You’ll gain confidence.
• You’ll have a group of people to interact with on a weekly basis. They often hangout or grab a bite to eat afterwards.

~Bella

 

[Sketcher]

I like the Jocko Podcast and the examples he gives of interactions and what those interactions do and don't accomplish.

 

[anewman1993]

I use to be really bad talking to people. I didn't go out much either.

There were several issue, and these are issue I had not necessarily that you have them, but they were some of mine.

The first is that I was judgemental. Thought I was better than everyone else. I didn't word it that way but I found reasons to not talk to people. The result was I didn't talk to people. I hate small talk, but you gotta learn to do it if you want to make friends. You can just jump right to the deep stuff with someone you don't know.

the other major thing was practice. I had to practice talking to people. Saying hi to those around me, talking to people with no agenda other than to talk to them. Then I had to start asking people for their number. I would start asking if people wanted to hangout and if people did ever by any small miracle invite me to anything I would do my best to go even if I wasn't sold on the event.

you will only get better by practice. Thats the ONLY way to get better socially, which means your going to make mistakes, people are going to not like you at times, your going to get rejected some. If you still with it you will get better and eventually start to make friends. Now Ive got a group of friends I hangout often. Is my life perfect? no I still have TON of lonliness, but its because I don't have anyone who shares my faith in my day to day life and thats a problem much bigger than simply my social skills (I drive quite far to go to church).