I dont know where else to go

[jessesgirl]

This is probably a shot in the dark...I searched google for some sort of Christian forum to get advice. I was just goofing off online, trying to settle down for the night when I went to the history on my computer to get a site I went to earlier today and saw several, I shall call them "EXTREMELY questionable" sites that my husband has been visiting. I am CRUSHED. We have only been married for six months...I am four months pregnant. It disgusts me to think that he is visiting these sites. I feel like I am being cheated on and have NO IDEA how to deal with this situation. I want to go drag him out of bed and show him I found it, but I don't want to face that. WHAT DO I DO, SOMEONE PLEEEEAAASE help. We are both very strong Christians and extremely involved at church. I know that he faced this problem as a teenager but he has assured me that it was no longer....now I don't know...he has practically lied to me, hasn't he??? Please pray for me and him...I don't know what to do! I want to get mad, I want to stress and worry over it, but I have a baby to worry about and that is not healthy. HEEEEELP, if nothing else, I need your prayers! Thanks a million and GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Aww. My wife found my stuff when we were about 6 months married. When I saw how absolutely destroyed she was I grew up at that moment. I don't ever want to do anything again to hurt her in any way.

Porn is an ever present evil these days. It's sooo easy to fall into the trap. But when you (I) experienced firsthand how it hurts someone you claim to love, man, that made me get my business straightened out in a hurry.

COnfront him.

 

[jessesgirl]

I ended up being so horrified that when I went to sleep that night, I woke him up with my crying. We talked and he had the same reaction that you did. I almost think that he was more devastated than I was, if that is possible. He has finally decided for the first time since he was a teenager that he never wants to see that stuff again. Now lets just pray that frame of mind sticks Thank you so much for your prayers everyone, I know they have helped!

 

[Ashyah]

You must let him know that you saw that and tell him to make a decision to stop!

Hopefully his fear for the Lord and hurting you will lead him. Don't argue with him over this. But, let him know how much it hurts you.Speak from your heart.

That is a tough situation . Ask the Lord to give you peace. I know that this would hurt me very much if it happended to me.

I found an appropriate folder in my computer till this day I don't know who's it was. My teenage children were still at home.

I ask the Lord to deliver your husband from this . I pray that he repents and never goes into these sites in the mighty name of Jesus.

Take care of yourself and pray for your baby.

 

[musicalmeg20]

When I went to a Christian youth conference this summer there was a guest speaker who talked about that kind of stuff. The guest speaker was from xxxchurch.com. The leaders of the ministry go to porn shows and hand out bibles! They have software that you can download that send a list of the websites you visit to designated accountability partners.

I'll pray for you and your husband. It really is a day-to-day struggle--especially with the availability of the internet. (I have struggled with stories and "romance" novels. **embarrassed**) You should tell him about xxxchurch.com. It's a really interesting and helpful site, and it's free.

May God bless you and keep you strong.

 

[joyful11]

Jessesgirl,
I'm not sure how I missed this thread. We have a thread for you in Women's discussion under For Women Who Struggle called "For those struggling with your husband's porn addiction". There are pages and pages of helpful info and several women who are dealing with the same issues. We have all been in your shoes. It is so hard to face. I am very glad that your dh is broken over his sin. Please don't leave it at that though. Many of us have seen our husbands broken and then somehow they get back into it. They are well-intentioned, but without the proper tools, they don't conquer this battle. I have heard that porn is an addiction just like alcohol. You need to get an internet filter. He should also read Every Man's Battle and you can read Every Heart Restored. These will be very helpful to both of you. Generally, just saying he won't do it any more won't work. Most of us on the other thread were told that and then lied to a million times by husbands who were so ashamed that they can't control their behavior. Your dh needs accountability. My dh read EMB a few years back and it helped a lot. Unfortunately, because we didn't get a filter and he had no accountability, he fell back into porn. It has been an up and down battle for 12 years of marriage. I am starting to see change in the last couple of months due to a filter and accountability, and lots of prayer of course. There is also a thread in the marrieds section under Marrieds only called "Every Heart Restored Book Study". We are reading this book together and discussing it and our feelings. You are welcome there as well. I am praying for you.

 

[raylenar]

I'm glad he was able to see how upset you were and to validate your feelings. It may take a while to break this addiction, but you must believe it has nothing to do with you. It is his problem created way before you were married. God Bless.

 

[novi12]

Dear Jessigirl JUst talk to him cooly don't yeell n forgive ur hubby. Pray for him n ask him to go for confession n surrender himself. Its a sin n he should stop that go for a retreat for 4 days that would really help him give ur attention to him so that he stops going on the prone. Yelling does not solve the problem be humble n forgive himGod will show mercy on u n through ur prayers will guide ur hubby out of it. U have to help ur hubby to come out.. Pray n give thank n praises often to Jesus. Amen

 

[jessesgirl]

Thank you all so much for your prayers and your great ideas!!! We have installed a filter on our computer and he has started talking to someone about it, so i just pray that the worst is behind us...thank you all so much! God bless you all!

 

[Autumnleaf]

Thank you all so much for your prayers and your great ideas!!! We have installed a filter on our computer and he has started talking to someone about it, so i just pray that the worst is behind us...thank you all so much! God bless you all!

Good. It sounds like things are going well.

 

[novi12]

Thanking you Lord for guiding jessi and her huuby into the right direction. Bless them Lord and restore their happiness. Bless jessi n guide her in these beutiful days to come. I pray this in Jesus Name Amen