I don't know what to do

[Stefani]

I don't have a religion. I'm not baptized or anything, and it hurts.
I'm so depressed lately. Last week a friend of mine killed himself.

I want to become Christian, I want to be baptized & belong somewhere.

The past few years have been crazy for me. I've been in and out of depression, suicidal, went to drugs (stopped that though), I was just.. not myself. I got out of it for a while, and was happy.
I went to a school for Dental, and graduated and it turns out the school is not for me. Yet, my dad pushes me everyday "you need to get this job here" "go do this" "If you go here I'll do this for you" He's stressing me out so much that we get into these crazy arguments.

With the passing of my friend all I want to do is cry. I feel like.. God doesn't "see me" since I don't belong to a church.
I do believe in him and I do love him, and I do want to go to heaven.
I know I've committed sins, but I don't know what to do.
I feel as though my parents ALWAYS treat me like I'm a child. I'm 20 years old and I get treated worse than me 17 year old brother.
I see myself as.. a tough person to get to know, I don't show my feelings well, but I'm a very generous person. I'd rather other people be happy than myself.

I don't have a job right now, and I feel so low. I have anxiety and low self esteem problems. I just feel really low about myself. I wake up and I just want to sleep forever.

I've had a boyfriend for over 3 years, we've broken up for about a month and a half and got back together.. but.. I don't know if he's the one for me. He's always lying to me about the tiniest stuff and he doesn't understand that it does hurt me..

My mom and dad are always telling me how I should go seek help, and be put on medication, and all that does is make me mad and upset. They know I'm depressed, why do they do this to me and say these things? I'll sit and cry and cry in front of them and instead of trying to help me, they point out everyone of my faults.

My brother tells me he wishes I was dead and he hates me.. my parents don't say anything..

I just.. I don't know where to go and who to turn to. I wish I belonged to a church so I could go and talk to someone..

I've thought about suicide in the past, and was in a place for a week. But I've been thinking about it a lot lately now.
I want to meet God, I want to not be in anymore pain, I want to be free and with all my loved ones. I just want my missery to be over.

With the passing of my friend, I know his suffering is over, and he's in a better place (I know some people think you go to hell, I don't, I believe that he was in to much pain to take it anymore and he didn't know what else to do) that's how I feel right now.. no matter who I talk to they don't help me at all.

If I even bring tihs up to my parents, they're going to instantly try to get me into a hospital. I DON'T WANT THAT. I just want someone to talk to...

Nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents, I think low of myself and if I try to even talk to someone I freak out because of my anxiety, my boyfriend doesn't listen to me.. no one talks to me.. I just really want to go away.

Everytime I read about God and about the bible, I cry... really hard. I don't know why. I'll watch videos and just cry my eyes out, or everytime I attempt to pray (I'm not exactly sure how) I'll just cry...

I'm so sick of EVERYTHING. :'(

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

You don't have to belong to a church for God to "see you." You do need to belong to a church, however, to find fellowship and love.

I'm very sorry about your friend - I also had a close friend commit suicide several years ago. It's a shocking and awful thing to deal with - I still miss him.

Don't be so depressed over your job situation - I was in my thirties before I ever figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. You are so young and your life is stretching out before you; don't give up before you even have a chance to get started.

Is there a mental health center in your town? Many of them offer a sliding scale fee based on income (or lack thereof). It sounds as though you could really use someone to talk to who will listen and not be judgmental.

I'm praying for you.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Also, you don't have to belong to a church to go and talk to someone. Just go - you don't have to be a member. You should be received lovingly - and if you aren't, then you haven't found the right church.

 

[Criada]

((((((Stefani))))))
It sounds as though you are having a very tough time, sweetie.
The good news is, you don't need to be baptised to be a Christian, all you need to do is come to God in prayer, tell Him that you know you are a sinner, and that you are sorry, and want to give Him your life and live His way. Jesus took the punishment for all your sins, and when He rose from the dead, He defeated them and made a way for you to live God's way.
If you look at the very topof this page, there is a tab which say "Be a Christian"... that will give you a bit more information.
The Bible says:

Romans 10:9
If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Is there a church nearby you could go to? It's good to be with other Christians to learn about God.
Always remember, He loves you, enormously and unconditionally, and He is longing to have a relationship with you.

If you want to talk to anyone, please PM me.
I am praying for you, sweetie
God bless you.

 

[Sketcher]

What are your sins? You don't have to tell us here, but you can make yourself a private list or something.

We are all sinners, and as such, have offended God. Christianity is God's amnesty plan for sinners who will trust in Jesus and make him the new boss of their lives. It is a commitment we make, to put God first and ourselves second, every day that we live. And in some countries, that means people literally have to die when they convert, because of the evil establishment around them.

 

[aiki]

I don't have a religion. I'm not baptized or anything, and it hurts.
I'm so depressed lately. Last week a friend of mine killed himself.

I want to become Christian, I want to be baptized & belong somewhere.

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Its a sobering thing to think that someone can become so unhappy that they take their own life.

I hope you won't mind my saying so, but you don't actually need religion or baptism. These things won't make the unhappiness you feel go away. What you really need is a person - Jesus Christ. Jesus said,

Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV)
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

The past few years have been crazy for me. I've been in and out of depression, suicidal, went to drugs (stopped that though), I was just.. not myself. I got out of it for a while, and was happy.
I went to a school for Dental, and graduated and it turns out the school is not for me. Yet, my dad pushes me everyday "you need to get this job here" "go do this" "If you go here I'll do this for you" He's stressing me out so much that we get into these crazy arguments.

After watching a close relative using drugs to control depression for years and seeing her only grow worse, I am convinced that drugs do not remedy depression. They mute depression, they suppress it, but they don't cure depression. I am glad to hear that you've resisted using drugs to cope.

At twenty years of age I would suggest that you don't need to be in a rush to settle on a career. I wouldn't recommend tuning your father out entirely, but don't let yourself be harried by him, either. Ask God where He would like you. He's got a plan for you, you know.

With the passing of my friend all I want to do is cry. I feel like.. God doesn't "see me" since I don't belong to a church.
I do believe in him and I do love him, and I do want to go to heaven.
I know I've committed sins, but I don't know what to do.

Your friend must have been very dear to you. Crying at the loss of such a friend certainly isn't a bad thing. If you wish to cry, do so. Its an important part of the healing process.

Never believe God doesn't see you. He sees everything that is going on with you and He's waiting for you to invite Him to be in full control of your life. He knows the very best way for you to live and He will help you do so, if you let Him.

I feel as though my parents ALWAYS treat me like I'm a child. I'm 20 years old and I get treated worse than me 17 year old brother.
I see myself as.. a tough person to get to know, I don't show my feelings well, but I'm a very generous person. I'd rather other people be happy than myself.

Sometimes being shy can be isolating. I know this from personal experience. Its a whole lot more difficult to deal with one's unhappiness when one is all alone, or, at least, feels all alone. Its good your trying to reach out - even if its rather anonymously here on the 'net.

I don't have a job right now, and I feel so low. I have anxiety and low self esteem problems. I just feel really low about myself. I wake up and I just want to sleep forever.

Yeah, that's pretty common when one is depressed. I would strongly urge you to begin to find things about which to be thankful to God and to actually give Him thanks for them. Even if you don't feel thankful, begin to give God thanks anyway. You'll be surprised what happens to your mood as you persist in being grateful for the good things in your life rather than going 'round and 'round in your mind about all the things that are difficult and depressing. It may take a bit to begin to see that there are actually good things in your life - especially if you've made a habit of seeing only what is negative. Don't give up. Look at the simple things. A flower, a sunset, the laugh of a happy child, a good bit of chocolate, a squirrel scooting around a tree. All these things are things to be grateful for. Make a habit of truly praising God for them and you'll see your spirits lift.

I've had a boyfriend for over 3 years, we've broken up for about a month and a half and got back together.. but.. I don't know if he's the one for me. He's always lying to me about the tiniest stuff and he doesn't understand that it does hurt me..

Ummm...dating a confirmed liar is probably not a good idea.

My mom and dad are always telling me how I should go seek help, and be put on medication, and all that does is make me mad and upset. They know I'm depressed, why do they do this to me and say these things? I'll sit and cry and cry in front of them and instead of trying to help me, they point out everyone of my faults.

It may be hard to do this, but there may be a kernel of truth in some of the things they are saying to you that you ought to consider. You don't have to accept everything they say, especially if you know its not true, but don't be too quick to dismiss all that they say as nonsense.

Stay away from the drugs! The won't cure your depression. God is quite sufficient to free you from your depression. I wonder what He did centuries ago when one of His children became depressed. Did He throw up His hands and say, "Oh, if only I had some Paxil!" I don't think so.

My brother tells me he wishes I was dead and he hates me.. my parents don't say anything..

Why is your brother so hateful toward you? People don't start hating others for absolutely no reason...

I just.. I don't know where to go and who to turn to. I wish I belonged to a church so I could go and talk to someone..

Talking to God is, in the end, far more useful than talking to people at church. He can do things for you no human or group of humans can do. Go to Him.

I've thought about suicide in the past, and was in a place for a week. But I've been thinking about it a lot lately now.
I want to meet God, I want to not be in anymore pain, I want to be free and with all my loved ones. I just want my missery to be over.

This is not God's plan for you. He did not give you life so that you might end it in a fit of depression. He wants you to rest in Him. When you do that, your misery will come to an end.

With the passing of my friend, I know his suffering is over, and he's in a better place (I know some people think you go to hell, I don't, I believe that he was in to much pain to take it anymore and he didn't know what else to do) that's how I feel right now.. no matter who I talk to they don't help me at all.

I hate to be unpleasant or cruel but I really do think I should ask: How do you know your friend's suffering is over?

Submitting yourself entirely to God is the only place of real, lasting peace and rest. Its the place for which God made us.

Isaiah 26:3-4 (NKJV)
3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You,
4 Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength. Because he trusts in You.

Nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents, I think low of myself and if I try to even talk to someone I freak out because of my anxiety, my boyfriend doesn't listen to me.. no one talks to me.. I just really want to go away.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NKJV)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Everytime I read about God and about the bible, I cry... really hard. I don't know why. I'll watch videos and just cry my eyes out, or everytime I attempt to pray (I'm not exactly sure how) I'll just cry...

Ask God to still your heart and give you the ability to talk to Him calmly and clearly. Sometimes Satan gets involved with what we are feeling and exaggerates and disturbs our emotions. You'll need God to help you find some balance if this is true of you. Again, simply ask Him to help you find some equilibrium.

I'm so sick of EVERYTHING. :'(

Thank God He's got a cure for your sickness! His cure is Himself.

1 Peter 5:6-7 (NKJV)
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Peace to you.

 

[salida]

The first thing I would do is take one day and/or hour at a time. God does see you all the time and your suffering. It sounds like your weeping because the Holy Spirit is dealing with your heart. You don't have to go to a church building for God to see you. Its not an accident you came to this website! Lets ask ourself why do we need a Lord and Savior? Are you a good person? Can you keep all the 10 Commandments all the time 100% of the time? Only Jesus did. http://www.livingwaters.com/good/ In christianity is where there is true spiritual medicine for the soul. Its the only spiritual medicine that can save mankind because mankind has fallen. I mentioning this to you now because I want you to undersand this concept first.

Parents can be pushy but they just want whats best for you. What counts is that what does God want you to do? This is where the journey starts for life and the foundation. I respect my parents, siblings, friends but God is who I'm living for and who I serve.

Receiving Christ as your Lord and Savior is the most important decision you will ever make. The highway to Heaven is not on a map but its in Romans 1:16 - "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for its is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." God is the source of energy (Holy Spirit) for our journey to heaven. He gives power for salvation to ALL who believe. We need this power because we have a problem with sin. Sin means missing the mark or falling short of God's intended destination for us. None can do it on our own because we are all sinners. Other religions try to do it on their own but it will fail them because they are doing this mans way not Gods.

Romans 5:8-9 - "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him."

Romans 10:9 -"that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Say to God: Lord Jesus, I confess to you that I am a sinner and that I need to be saved. With Your power, I now turn away from my sin and I with all my heart place my faith in You alone Jesus as my Savior and Lord. Amen.

Being a christian is much more than being a church member, but you must cultivate this relationship by reading His Word (Bible), praying (talking to God) and walking in fellowship with His people (other true christians who practice what they claim and who are an inspiration to your spiritual walk). Stay away from phonies! Jesus said to be a fruit inspector. Also, this is a lifelong life style and its necessary because we become more and more like Christ by the work of the Holy Spirit in our life; also you will do what God had intended for you to do in this world.

Now, your depression may be a medical thing and you may have to see the doctor. If its spiritual, it will be obvious within time. Once a person comes to God, certain spiritual afflictions can go away fast or it will get better and better. Please note that being a christian isn't like dancing around in flowers all the time - but it equips us to have the power spiritually to battle this world spiritually, emotionally and physically better. God will give you a joy and peace inside that doesn't end and you won't have to depend totally on your circumstances for your happiness. For example, I'm going through some trials now financially and medically but I know that God is in control of these things and I'm on His trip not mind.
He meets our needs in various ways His way - Note: it won't be our way at times. This world is a dressing room to prepare us for Heaven.

Also, its a spiritual war against the children of darkness. (Psalms 91 - Is inspirational.) Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy and as christian soldiers we fight this through prayer first; and second by getting involved in your community, and doing the Great Commission - telling others and being fishers of men.

If you have any more questions, please email me. I don't mind being your online mentor. I have been a child of God for almost 30 years.

 

[Aibrean]

I posted this in a similar thread...

Being a Christian isn't going to have some magical sparkly resolution to your problems...in fact it will probably make it worse. That said, we are tested because others are tested (see my sig) to strengthen our faith. We are tempted by ourselves and our sinful nature working against us.

From the book of James (James 1:2-15):

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. 9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

You are at the age that is relateable to most people. When I graduated from college my parents nagged me to get a job (even one outside my career...which in my opinion was a waste of an education).

In college my first boyfriend (I've only had two...married the second) lied to me. He was cheating on me in fact with a woman that he ended up getting pregnant (which is why he broke it off with me).

I couldn't keep a job out of college for a good 4 years. My jobs ended with lousy employers who cheated me out of money (one I went to the police to and the other I sued). One job I left because they wanted me to do something illegal. The other two let me go because I worked too fast. I can relate. People who are out of a job lose self confidence because you keep applying yourself and getting rejected. You can only take so much.

If I were you I would definitely get into some kind of creative output. I got into writing and illustration. Have something that will keep you from dwelling on what you don't have.

I would also find a church to connect with. We just switched churches recently and the people at the new church are overall a lot more warm and friendly. It might take you awhile to find a good fit.

You need a support system with God as the foundation.

 

[renee09]

hey hi,

you reminded me of my boyfriend when you say:

"I see myself as.. a tough person to get to know, I don't show my feelings well, but I'm a very generous person. I'd rather other people be happy than myself."

his always like that too. always thinking of others and not caring for themselves at all.

but i think you should go find a church that you feel comfortable attending. you could try several different churchs and then just settle into one that you love. Just know that God doesnt ignore you so to say just because you dont belong to a church. He's always there and will be there for all of His children, including you. Going to a church would allow you to see the even greater degree of love that God has for you.

If you want to talk sometime, just send a message to me or something

God bless you !

 

[LondonMatt]

Sorry to hear of your troubles Stefanie.

I'm on a similar path myself, I only started thinking of God a few months ago after a lifetime of atheism and my own struggles with drugs and unhappiness. I still havent found a church thats right for me but I've tried some services at different places and have reading my bible and thinking and praying. Its certainly brought a great deal of comfort and calm and strength into my life.

God bless

Matt

 

[peadar1987]

I've struggled with some of the same problems. I found it really helped just to verbalise them and get them off my chest. This may seem crazy, but I talked to my dog!

I'd really recommend talking to people on these forums by PM, just to vent. Nobody will judge you. Talk to me by all means, but you'd probably be better off talking to someone a little older and wiser.

I know things must seem bleak now, but at some point in the future, hopefully you'll be able to look back and say the times you went through now made you stronger.

I know non-Christians aren't really supposed to post on these threads. I hope nobody minds me making an exception.

Peter

 

[Bain_Adaneth]

Confess all your sins to God. God is Holy and He doesn’t like sin. Sin is everything that you do, think, or say that displeases God. The bible says that the penalty of sin is death, and since everyone has sinned, everyone will be separated from God forever. But since God loves us, He sent His only Son to die for us. Because Jesus died for us, if we repent of all of our sins, and confess them to God, and are truly sorry for them, He will forgive us. And the blood of His Son will wash away our sins. If we believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior and confess our sins, and promise to follow God all of our days, then God will give us that Salvation throught the blood of His Son. Living the live of a Christian is not easy. It is so hard, but because God is always with you, He takes the burden away, and our load becomes light. If you believe in God and what Him to be Lord of your life. Then confess your sins to Him and follow Him, and read the bible so you will know who He really is. He will save you from your sins, and give you purpose in your life. He will be your God and guide you.