I don't know what to do!!

[pentecostalgirl0414]

This may be kind of long and I am sorry..

I was in my science class about 2 weeks ago. I was writing in my journal. I was having a really bad day, so instead of cutting, I decided to write. Well, the teacher called me up to her desk to talk to me about something. Before I left my seat, I put my journal in a folder, then put the folder under my books. Well, after I came back to my seat, the girl I was sitting next to was reading my journal. I had written in there about my urges to cut. She read it. She did not know that I cut. None of my friends do. The next time I went to my class, there was a note for me waiting on my desk. She was asking me all these questions about cutting and how I felt and what I used and everything. Then she told me that she started cutting. She told me that if I told anyone that she was cutting she was going to tell on me. Now, she is always writing me notes and asking to see my scars and wanting to know all kinds of information. I am trying to work on stopping but it is really hard with her adding on to the things that are already going on. I don't know what to do. Can anyone offer me any advice.
Again, I am sorry that this is so long.

 

[livingforGod135]

This may be kind of long and I am sorry..

I was in my science class about 2 weeks ago. I was writing in my journal. I was having a really bad day, so instead of cutting, I decided to write. Well, the teacher called me up to her desk to talk to me about something. Before I left my seat, I put my journal in a folder, then put the folder under my books. Well, after I came back to my seat, the girl I was sitting next to was reading my journal. I had written in there about my urges to cut. She read it. She did not know that I cut. None of my friends do. The next time I went to my class, there was a note for me waiting on my desk. She was asking me all these questions about cutting and how I felt and what I used and everything. Then she told me that she started cutting. She told me that if I told anyone that she was cutting she was going to tell on me. Now, she is always writing me notes and asking to see my scars and wanting to know all kinds of information. I am trying to work on stopping but it is really hard with her adding on to the things that are already going on. I don't know what to do. Can anyone offer me any advice.
Again, I am sorry that this is so long.

good on you for writing instead of cutting!! i find that useful too!
so anyway if it was me i would first talk to this girl about privacy and what it means to read someones journal (actually if it was me i would be shouting but i recommend talking ) and then if u dont want to be talking to her about this, because we all know how private it is, just tell her... like say 'i am here if u need support but i dont really want to discuss my situation with u' or something like that... obviously it has to be true too!
i imagine u dont want to show her ur scars... if that is the case... just tell her (again with privacy) and let her know that u have the right to choose what u tell her etc or if u tell her anything


'She told me that if I told anyone that she was cutting she was going to tell on me'
blackmail is wrong and i guess u dont want any1 to know right?? well some advice u didnt ask for: telling someone is the best thing u could do... and if u think someone needs to know about her cutting then u should still tell someone

I am trying to work on stopping but it is really hard with her adding on to the things that are already going on.
good on u for trying to stop =) i know things will seem hard to u and that this will make things harder, but u may find later on that it is useful to know someone who is going thru a similar thing and knows where u are coming from. remember that God will give u strength to get thru anything, but if u find that having her around is really making things worse 4 u... all other advice aside... just ask her nicely to back off a bit (and tell her why) and maybe only hang out with her in a group n avoid the subject (if it is making things worse)

-if she is asking for info on how to fight the urge... that i would share with her, or direct her here

feel free to pm me if u eva need to talk

Laura

 

[ChristInAction]

She had no right to read your diary. I've told off a few people for trying to read might in class but they are really apoligetic when they know its my diary but doesnt seem like that in your case.
She also has no right to ask to look at your arm or black mail you but I think she might just want a friend that understands this. Think about what you feel about SI. Where you ever confusied about it? Have you ever wished for someone to understand?
If she's too much. You need to tell her that. She old enough to hear it.
At the same time encourage her to stop but make sure you stay away if your gonna get triggered or want to cut.
Maybe tell her to look at www.recoveryourlife.com & www.psyke.org they will answer her question.
You dont have to bare all to her but love your neighbour as your self. Trust me. I know how hard that can be.

My best suggestion. Pray! ask God to help her. we are given people like this in our lives for a reason. tell God how she makes you feel & why she has been put in your life. who knows. it might be some great plan of God.

 

[berry2000]

I agree with what the others have said starting with good job for writing instead of cutting. Unfortunately when we write about it someone else may read it. I lost 2 journals (with my name in it) and i haven't the first clue where they went or who has them.

I know this might sound weird or something but maybe a diary style book with a key would deter people. Just a thought. Don't you just wish you were bilingual and you could write in another language or something like that?

I wouldn't engage in any talk with this girl about cutting. It is very private and personal and you don't have to talk to her about it if you don't want to.

It was wrong of her to first read your book (very wrong) and then try and blackmail you (very wrong). She sounds like a toxic, nosey, and wounded person herself. Don't get wrapped up in her drama.

Praying for you!

 

[x0xJesusIsLovex0x]

Thats great that your writing instead of cutting, its what I sometime do, and I can't believe she read your journal. Invoding bubble here, talk to her about it.

 

[LilRomanianChristFollower]

I read a story one day that is meant to be sorta humorous and sort of a slap in the face. There was once person who looked all down in the dumps and ready to jump off a bridge when his friend came over and asked what was wrong. 2 hours later after the first person told the friend all his problems, they both jumped. The moral of the story is that one negative person can bring another one down easily. I had a friend who cut herself and told me all about it. Unfortunately, it wasn't long after when I myself started as well. I am not blaming my friend for my actions. However, I am saying that sometimes if the details are mentioned too much, it puts more focus on the cutting than on quitting. Hope this helps.

 

[LightInDarkPlaces]

One things I have learned, in all my years of therapy, self-harm, etc., is that once you begin a self-harming behaviour, you have no right to privacy. In a way, I am glad she read your diary. Now, I recomend that you tell on her. Then, she'll tell on you. You will then be able to show the adults that yes, indeed, you have been having urges to cut, and you journaled about it instead of doing it. They will then see that you made a healthy decision about what you were feeling and they will be aware of your struggles and can help you find positive coping methods. As for your "friend", do not under any circumstaces give her "cutting advice," but I'm sure you know that because you sound like a very smart person. When she is exposed, she will be able to get help, too.

 

[mariachigirl]

So pentecostalgirl -- an quick update?