I don't feel like a parent...

[Pebbles90]

I'm feeling really disheartened today, I'm sorry if this comes off as a 'woe is me' type thread. I feel like I'm not "made" to be a parent. My son is 10 months old and I feel like I can't keep up. He's throwing me new challenges every day and I dont think I'm strong enough to be a good parent to him. This morning he cried for 3 hours, I had no idea what was wrong with him apart from teething, and I gave him some calpol for that, but he just wouldn't stop. Eventually I just sat with him in his room and I cried, and I know he can't understand but I just told him "I'm really sorry but I don't know what you need to feel better". He looked so sad.
I've only recently made a return to christianity and I'm trying to see this in the way that God would want me to.. But I just don't know. I'm still dealing with depression and anxiety and I just wish sometimes I wasn't even around. I don't know. I'm not really expecting anyone to fix this for me. Maybe a prayer?

 

[Darkhorse]

I'm surprised no one has replied yet...

You know about post-partum depression I assume; you may have it, or maybe not. It would be good to get a medical evaluation if you can.

If he cries during the daytime, there is probably something that hurts (like teeth), but he (and you) might get some benefit from sleeping with you (in your bed) for daytime naps and/or overnight. Many people don't like this idea, but it comforts some children a great deal.

You don't have to run your legs off and try to "fix" him every time he wails. Keep him fed, keep him changed, keep him well and safe, with lots of hugs. And take some time for yourself also.

Praying for you...

 

[ex-pat]

Prayers certainly...Do take the advice about checking to see if you have post-partum depression. Support groups do exist for that, and if you have any support groups for new moms, check those out too. (Little guy might have had a bad tummy...next time he's crying and you can't soothe him look to see if his legs are all stiff...most times that indicates gas...fold his legs under him, froggy-style...it helps)

 

[Krystina661]

You sound very overwhelmed. I think that is normal to feel at times. You just have to do the best you can. Mommy-hood can be exhausting but it is also very rewarding

 

[akmom]

I don't have any good answers for you either. I think there is definitely a "breaking in" period, for those of us who aren't accustomed to kids. I was very overwhelmed with my first, but relaxed and ready for my second and third children. It sounds sad, but I was actually able to enjoy my second/third babies a lot more, because with my first, I just spent so much time stressed about how to parent and figure out her changing needs.

I also had "inconsolable" babies. Honestly, I never quite figured out why. I assumed colic, teething, tiredness, etc. but never really found a solution. They had all their needs met and my constant attention. They all three outgrew it at about one year - quite abruptly, actually. All three of my children are very affectionate, curious, and enjoyable members of the family despite a difficult babyhood. Hang in there!

 

[Sabertooth]

The first one is the hardest. After everything has been done for baby that you possibly can (fed, changed, checked for any health, safety & comfort issues), close the door and let baby cry themselves to sleep. (S)he'll be no worse for wear.

 

[shakenNotshattered]

I'm surprised no one has replied yet...

You know about post-partum depression I assume; you may have it, or maybe not. It would be good to get a medical evaluation if you can.

If he cries during the daytime, there is probably something that hurts (like teeth), but he (and you) might get some benefit from sleeping with you (in your bed) for daytime naps and/or overnight. Many people don't like this idea, but it comforts some children a great deal.

You don't have to run your legs off and try to "fix" him every time he wails. Keep him fed, keep him changed, keep him well and safe, with lots of hugs. And take some time for yourself also.

Praying for you...

In complete agreement

I'm feeling really disheartened today, I'm sorry if this comes off as a 'woe is me' type thread. I feel like I'm not "made" to be a parent. My son is 10 months old and I feel like I can't keep up. He's throwing me new challenges every day and I dont think I'm strong enough to be a good parent to him. This morning he cried for 3 hours, I had no idea what was wrong with him apart from teething, and I gave him some calpol for that, but he just wouldn't stop. Eventually I just sat with him in his room and I cried, and I know he can't understand but I just told him "I'm really sorry but I don't know what you need to feel better". He looked so sad.
I've only recently made a return to christianity and I'm trying to see this in the way that God would want me to.. But I just don't know. I'm still dealing with depression and anxiety and I just wish sometimes I wasn't even around. I don't know. I'm not really expecting anyone to fix this for me. Maybe a prayer?

Blesss your heart. Try not to beat yourself up too much ok. Most of us all have felt that way at some time or another. I am big on babies in my bed. They love it, I love it, it brings sweet sleep and comfort to you both. When they finally fall asleep, I put them back in their bed and hubby is happy Hang in there. I know it is tough but it is obvious you are a great mother. You will most certainly be getting many prayers.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

+1 to what everyone else has said so far. That first 6-12 months (depending on the kid) is survival mode. And then it gets better, and before you know it, your kid can start talking to you and telling you what's wrong. And then you look back at the earlier years with new knowledge.

 

[Pebbles90]

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone. We seem to have got through a really tough patch of teething, he seems a lot happier now which makes thing easier. I've also called my health visitor who's going to visit me on Monday for a chat. Getting some support in place makes things feel so much more manageable.

 

[shakenNotshattered]

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone. We seem to have got through a really tough patch of teething, he seems a lot happier now which makes thing easier. I've also called my health visitor who's going to visit me on Monday for a chat. Getting some support in place makes things feel so much more manageable.

Wonderful news hon

 

[Inkachu]

I'm feeling really disheartened today, I'm sorry if this comes off as a 'woe is me' type thread. I feel like I'm not "made" to be a parent. My son is 10 months old and I feel like I can't keep up. He's throwing me new challenges every day and I dont think I'm strong enough to be a good parent to him. This morning he cried for 3 hours, I had no idea what was wrong with him apart from teething, and I gave him some calpol for that, but he just wouldn't stop. Eventually I just sat with him in his room and I cried, and I know he can't understand but I just told him "I'm really sorry but I don't know what you need to feel better". He looked so sad.
I've only recently made a return to christianity and I'm trying to see this in the way that God would want me to.. But I just don't know. I'm still dealing with depression and anxiety and I just wish sometimes I wasn't even around. I don't know. I'm not really expecting anyone to fix this for me. Maybe a prayer?

Darlin', every mother goes through similar scenarios. Motherhood is exhausting, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I can remember nights when my son would cry and cry, and I didn't know why, and like you, I just broke down and cried along with him. I think EVERY mom has been through that!

Do you have a good support system? Family or friends or church members who help you, pray for you, offer you advice? Do you have someone who can babysit once a week or once a month, to give you some downtime? A 10 month old is very needy and dependent on you for every little thing. But I assure you, things WILL change. Believe it or not, someday you won't be changing diapers and making bottles and having to watch him like a hawk Keep that vision in mind when you feel like it'll never ease up It will!

Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk. I raised my son by myself for 11 years

 

[Luther073082]

I'm feeling really disheartened today, I'm sorry if this comes off as a 'woe is me' type thread. I feel like I'm not "made" to be a parent. My son is 10 months old and I feel like I can't keep up. He's throwing me new challenges every day and I dont think I'm strong enough to be a good parent to him. This morning he cried for 3 hours, I had no idea what was wrong with him apart from teething, and I gave him some calpol for that, but he just wouldn't stop. Eventually I just sat with him in his room and I cried, and I know he can't understand but I just told him "I'm really sorry but I don't know what you need to feel better". He looked so sad.
I've only recently made a return to christianity and I'm trying to see this in the way that God would want me to.. But I just don't know. I'm still dealing with depression and anxiety and I just wish sometimes I wasn't even around. I don't know. I'm not really expecting anyone to fix this for me. Maybe a prayer?

Check everything logical and if none of that helps then just do what you can to comfort the child.

You feel bad for him, but there isn't anything you can do other then to try and comfort him.

The thing you also have to keep in mind. Crying isn't going to kill him and you arn't a bad parent if you just have to sit down and try and comfort the child once you can't find anything else wrong.

If it keeps up like that for more then one day, you may want to see a doctor about it. The doctor can check for things like ear infections that need to be treated. I wouldn't rush off to the doctor after one bad day, but if it's something that keeps up, you'll want to get him seen.