Uhg... My 11-year-old brother has been destroying my poor, already falling apart ego, lately... I mean, he usually likes to annoy me, but... now it's getting too bad for me to handle... Maybe it's just because I'm already really stressed out and it only feels worse... But I don't think I can handle much more of being called a liar and an idiot and being told that I'm doing everything wrong... Last week, I was showing him my geometry book (I'm homeschooled, he's not), which is full of doodles and multicolored comments from all my "muses" (roleplaying charcters I use to take notes in school, because they keep me focused on boring subjects like math and make it fun for me. Mom knows this and tells me to use my muses). He looks at the book and says, "You WROTE in your book!? You aren't supposed to do that!!" so i told him that I was not only allowed to, but supposed to, and he said I was lying and that I'm a complete idiot... so I explained that my muses help me learn, and he said "You're not learing anything from that! You're just gonna get a bad grade for goofing off!" I ended up going into my room and crying... Stuff like that has happened on an almost daily basis for about 1 or 2 weeks, now...
My big problem? I don't know how to react! I mean, it's nothing even close to what other people have been through... It can't possibly really be abuse... not even remotely... It's probably just normal annoying brother-ness... but it hurts! Not physically, of course... just... I hate it. I can't take much more.
Then there's the other thing he does to me... He's been doing it off and on for a couple years, now... It goes up and down, and usually it's not too bad... but sometimes he just gets in this weird mood where he just spends a couple days just doing it relentlessly. See, he likes to, well... touch me in places he shouldn't... and talk about how fun it is to touch me there... Or, sometimes, he'll just decide to dance around naked right in front of my face... so I close my eyes, and he says it's safe and he's sorry, so I open my eyes and... he does it again. And then, he might follow it up by sitting in my lap, calling me hot *shudders* and kissing me, complete with, frequently, his tongue in my mouth! :o Then he appologises, says "Eww, that was gross!" and goes about his business for a while... and then comes back and stares at me wide-eyed for a moment before going, "Ooooooh..." and reaching out to touch me again... and by touch, I don't mean just, like, poke my shoulder or somewhere like that...
*sigh* Then, well, repeat process for another 24 hours or so, then wait somewhere between a week to a month or so, and repeat prcess again... Only, with the occasional sticking of his head in my shirt (and my shoving of his head out of my shirt! :o) and his hands down my pants. >_< You get the picture...
I have the same delimma here... I've been told that he's being abusive, and that I should talk to someone, but I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting...I mean, hes only 11, it could just be annoying preteen hormones making him act crazy... Maybe I should just wait it out... *sigh* I don't know!!!
My big problem? I don't know how to react! I mean, it's nothing even close to what other people have been through... It can't possibly really be abuse... not even remotely... It's probably just normal annoying brother-ness... but it hurts! Not physically, of course... just... I hate it. I can't take much more.
Then there's the other thing he does to me... He's been doing it off and on for a couple years, now... It goes up and down, and usually it's not too bad... but sometimes he just gets in this weird mood where he just spends a couple days just doing it relentlessly. See, he likes to, well... touch me in places he shouldn't... and talk about how fun it is to touch me there... Or, sometimes, he'll just decide to dance around naked right in front of my face... so I close my eyes, and he says it's safe and he's sorry, so I open my eyes and... he does it again. And then, he might follow it up by sitting in my lap, calling me hot *shudders* and kissing me, complete with, frequently, his tongue in my mouth! :o Then he appologises, says "Eww, that was gross!" and goes about his business for a while... and then comes back and stares at me wide-eyed for a moment before going, "Ooooooh..." and reaching out to touch me again... and by touch, I don't mean just, like, poke my shoulder or somewhere like that...
*sigh* Then, well, repeat process for another 24 hours or so, then wait somewhere between a week to a month or so, and repeat prcess again... Only, with the occasional sticking of his head in my shirt (and my shoving of his head out of my shirt! :o) and his hands down my pants. >_< You get the picture...I have the same delimma here... I've been told that he's being abusive, and that I should talk to someone, but I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting...I mean, hes only 11, it could just be annoying preteen hormones making him act crazy... Maybe I should just wait it out... *sigh* I don't know!!!
For some random reason, Mom came up and asked me if I have been being sexually abused by anyone... Wow... That was almost... weird, how she asked about that when I was worrying about it. I told her what my brother's been doing, and she said she'd talk to him, and that I should tell her if he ever does that. See, she was trying to figure out what's been making me depressed (I just went back into self-injuring, recently... she found out, now she's kinda doing the overprotective thing...), and, being a mental health worker who works with a lot of people who've been abused, she evidently noticed that I was acting an awful lot like someone who's been sexually abused. I didn't even realise this, but then, I'm not a mental health worker... and she is... I'm just glad she approached me about it. Hopefully it'll get worked out...
