I don't doubt Him. I doubt society...

[meghan1]

I was brought up by athiests, and have been surrounded by athiests since a very young age. Yet, somehow I've been very aware of God's presence since as far back as I can remember... I believe in God, I have faith in Him, I pray to Him and I adore Him... I can honestly say, I would be prepared to leave this world leaving everything behind just to be by His side one day in Heaven any day.

But I find myself alone.... the Christian community seem to reject me, they just don't accept me... I'm not a bad seed, I know I'm not! I want to learn! I want to be a good Christian, I want to learn... I want to get better... No one will help guide me because of what I've been brought up around and my past.. I feel like a leper. So I'm forced to mix with yet more athiests... I tried to tell them I was a Christian... they laughed at me and shook it off as a joke. This isn't funny to me...

I feel so alone. I get comfort from knowing I have God by my side day and night, giving me comfort no human being can give. I know that's supposed to be enough, it IS enough... I just need human support sometimes. I'm only human... I've never properly been to a church, not being from a Christian background, but when I was little I used to walk to the town and sit outside the bench of the church and pray that someday I'd be able to join the people inside...

I don't want to reject Him because of how difficult people are making this... Why don't people believe me when I say I want to be a good Christian?

 

[singpeace]

I was brought up by athiests, and have been surrounded by athiests since a very young age. Yet, somehow I've been very aware of God's presence since as far back as I can remember... I believe in God, I have faith in Him, I pray to Him and I adore Him... I can honestly say, I would be prepared to leave this world leaving everything behind just to be by His side one day in Heaven any day.

But I find myself alone.... the Christian community seem to reject me, they just don't accept me... I'm not a bad seed, I know I'm not! I want to learn! I want to be a good Christian, I want to learn... I want to get better... No one will help guide me because of what I've been brought up around and my past.. I feel like a leper. So I'm forced to mix with yet more athiests... I tried to tell them I was a Christian... they laughed at me and shook it off as a joke. This isn't funny to me...

I feel so alone. I get comfort from knowing I have God by my side day and night, giving me comfort no human being can give. I know that's supposed to be enough, it IS enough... I just need human support sometimes. I'm only human... I've never properly been to a church, not being from a Christian background, but when I was little I used to walk to the town and sit outside the bench of the church and pray that someday I'd be able to join the people inside...

I don't want to reject Him because of how difficult people are making this... Why don't people believe me when I say I want to be a good Christian?

Meghan,

I'm sorry you have had a bad experience with other Christians. I think it strange that you are the third person to say Christians have been rejecting and neglecting you. It is not supposed to be that way, and it worries me.

You can talk to me. I will not pass you off or neglect you. That would be wrong. I am willing to help any way I can - if you need answers, scriptures, understanding, prayer, friendship... I'm not the only one... you have a family here.

Where and how did this rejection occur? I'm interested in knowing how this kind of thing happens.

 

[Peripatetic]

First of all, welcome to the forum!

You are truly blessed to have come out of your circumstances with a solid faith. You are showing true perseverance, which is a sign that your foundation is strong. You are right that society as a whole is in bad shape. We do live in a fallen world with upside-down priorities.

That said, you should find fellowship and like-minded friends among other Christians. I think you should try to go to a church. If churches in your area have web sites, you might want to start by emailing someone and tell them about your situation. You may quickly find that you are welcomed with open arms. Some churches are warmer to newcomers than others, so it might benefit you to try out several.

You'll also find fellowship here! I hope you'll stay.

 

[TheReasoner]

I was brought up by athiests, and have been surrounded by athiests since a very young age. Yet, somehow I've been very aware of God's presence since as far back as I can remember... I believe in God, I have faith in Him, I pray to Him and I adore Him... I can honestly say, I would be prepared to leave this world leaving everything behind just to be by His side one day in Heaven any day.

But I find myself alone.... the Christian community seem to reject me, they just don't accept me... I'm not a bad seed, I know I'm not! I want to learn! I want to be a good Christian, I want to learn... I want to get better... No one will help guide me because of what I've been brought up around and my past.. I feel like a leper. So I'm forced to mix with yet more athiests... I tried to tell them I was a Christian... they laughed at me and shook it off as a joke. This isn't funny to me...

I feel so alone. I get comfort from knowing I have God by my side day and night, giving me comfort no human being can give. I know that's supposed to be enough, it IS enough... I just need human support sometimes. I'm only human... I've never properly been to a church, not being from a Christian background, but when I was little I used to walk to the town and sit outside the bench of the church and pray that someday I'd be able to join the people inside...

I don't want to reject Him because of how difficult people are making this... Why don't people believe me when I say I want to be a good Christian?

I do. Believe you I mean. Maybe I even understand your position. I'd like to think so

Welcome to the forums and to the family of Christians! We may at times be a dysfunctional family with a few members being somewhat distant from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But we are a family, and I welcome you to it!

I'm a very scientifically minded person, and I know many atheists tend to be the same way. If you need someone who's capable of setting emotions aside and being analytical and fact-minded about things, I'm your man. Also, math problems? I can help

Singpeace: Add a fourth person to your list. Reason: I have felt rejected many times. Usually by the most vocal Christians. Not by the ones in whom I see the fruits of the spirit though. Never those.

 

[meghan1]

well you see people have always assumed I wasn't Christian because of my background, I never really spoke loudly of God. If someone asked, I'd tell them "Yes, I believe in God" but I'd never really preach about it. I found my relationship with God to be more personal than that... I didn't like to tell every passer-by about it. I guess my first rejection was when I was very young, but the first time I ever felt properly hurt by feeling a bit outcasted was when I was around 16 years old. The regular church-goers were all talking about their faith. I happened to be sitting near them... I joined in the conversation, eagerly discussing the benefits of being in touch with God. I felt really brave, speaking out loud about it (I'd sort of grown up hiding it in fear of being laughed at). Later that day, I heard them discussing with eachother again. They were talking about me. "Is she even a Christian? She doesn't even go to Church. She can't just decide to be a believer, she must just be lonely."

there's the fact I don't necessarily look like your average Christian. I wear make-up (not very much of it though), have my hair dyed, there's the fact i'm surrounded by non-believers and i guess there's that factor that I drink socially with friends at times. I don't know, I guess where I'm from, you don't judge people on appearance... I just thought Christianity was loving. I know I'd accept anyone into my life if they had good intentions and wanted to learn from me. I just found it a bit... hurtful. It's happened quite a few times. I don't know why I'm so rejected... I do my best. My upbringing isn't my fault! Christianity is a choice, you don't HAVE to be born a believer! Gosh, I don't know, I could bring up my kids in the future to go to church every Sunday yet they still may become tyrants!
I hate this I find it pretty hypocritical too. It says in Romans, "we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God" ....why can't I have the chance to redeem myself? I have not sinned, I have been judged..

 

[meghan1]

I'm very scientifically minded also... Infact I'm doing an A-level in science right now. Aha, I don't know, I guess I'm not text-book Christian. I know I believe in God, no doubt about that. I just wish people would believe in ME.

 

[TheReasoner]

well you see people have always assumed I wasn't Christian because of my background, I never really spoke loudly of God. If someone asked, I'd tell them "Yes, I believe in God" but I'd never really preach about it. I found my relationship with God to be more personal than that... I didn't like to tell every passer-by about it. I guess my first rejection was when I was very young, but the first time I ever felt properly hurt by feeling a bit outcasted was when I was around 16 years old. The regular church-goers were all talking about their faith. I happened to be sitting near them... I joined in the conversation, eagerly discussing the benefits of being in touch with God. I felt really brave, speaking out loud about it (I'd sort of grown up hiding it in fear of being laughed at). Later that day, I heard them discussing with eachother again. They were talking about me. "Is she even a Christian? She doesn't even go to Church. She can't just decide to be a believer, she must just be lonely."

there's the fact I don't necessarily look like your average Christian. I wear make-up (not very much of it though), have my hair dyed, there's the fact i'm surrounded by non-believers and i guess there's that factor that I drink socially with friends at times. I don't know, I guess where I'm from, you don't judge people on appearance... I just thought Christianity was loving. I know I'd accept anyone into my life if they had good intentions and wanted to learn from me. I just found it a bit... hurtful. It's happened quite a few times. I don't know why I'm so rejected... I do my best. My upbringing isn't my fault! Christianity is a choice, you don't HAVE to be born a believer! Gosh, I don't know, I could bring up my kids in the future to go to church every Sunday yet they still may become tyrants!
I hate this I find it pretty hypocritical too. It says in Romans, "we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God" ....why can't I have the chance to redeem myself? I have not sinned, I have been judged..

Meghan! Jesus IS about love! Oh there is SO much I want to tell you! So much I want to ask you! Jesus DOES Love you! SO MUCH! And to quote Keith Green - a Christian who served God with his music: "Going to church doesn'r make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!". I like the quote. He finishes it by saying: "You know what a Christian is? I have a really good definition. Someone who is bananas for Jesus. And don't forget the second part - who loves everyone else as much as he loves himself"

So I don't know if those people truly believed. I can't say they didn't or don't. That's up to God. But being a believer is not about appearances. It's about love. I think I know where you're from. I have always wanted to serve God as I am. When I was a teenager I sought to reach into the metal and goth community. I was one of them. Dark clothes, darker poetry. The whole shebang. And it was great! I got in touch with people. I got to show people Jesus really cared. But... Some church goers were distrought that I didn't dress as they did. So they didn't want me in church. Or near their children. I was and still am harmless. My only goal in life is to serve Jesus with what God made me. Thankfully the youth pastor in my church recognized my desire for what it was and he backed me up. A great man that pastor. The problem was resolved before it grew too large thankfully.

Then I went on to grow older as all people do. I gained an interest in science and eventually realized that I have been neglecting my intellect. I ran off to school and restarted my education at age 27. I am now on my second year of a five year master's program where only the very very best get in. Medicine is easier to get accepted into than this program. I don't mean to boast, just to say this is what God had in store for me! I wish I had listened before so I could be done by now... Hehe

I sought to tell people of how I saw God in His creation. How I saw Him mirrored in everything from the subatomic to the cosmic. In the math. Oh glorious math! And again I was rejected. Some of the more conservative crowd felt threatened by my intellect I suppose. Maybe that was it. Maybe they themselves found that science contradicted their image of God, and thus felt threatened by my enthusiasm for it.
Thing is... I don't really see God in those people. I won't claim I see Him in me either. I am a human being and as such I sin. I need Him.

But I know He is love. I know He loves me, and accepts me - and you know what else? I know He made me the way I am so I can serve Him with the gifts He has given me! Does He want me to be refined? Yes. Does He want me to be someone I am not? I don't think so.

And you know what? Even though life is tough and some Christians make it tougher with prejudice and self-centered attitudes or concerns for appearances I know that God doesn't care about those appearances these people worry so much over. He wants your heart. Not your clothes style or your intellectual capacity to be diminished or restrained. Or any other skill for that matter. God loves YOU Meghan. Just the way He made you. He accepts YOU and REJOICES over who you are!

 

[meghan1]

wow. you really don't know how much you've made me smile...
yes! I don't dress controversially though. I dress normally. I dress in jeans and pretty tops, it's just.. I take pride in my appearance. Apparently that's not allowed. I am nowhere near vein, again, I wasn't brought up to be vein! it's like... just because my family are none-believers it means they're evil. they're not! my mother and my father brought me and all my sisters up soooo well in my opinion. one of my sisters is a doctor, the other is an accoutant and the other is still studying in university. we all have never committed crimes and would never think to. we're sincere people. I think... I've just always had a self-taught love toward God... People find that difficult to understand. So they reject it.

I have a lot of questions about Christianity.. I've been told various things. From these people I've discussed, I've heard things like... because I'm not baptised I won't get into heaven... Is this true?

They also told me that because I don't attend a Church, I am sure to go to hell. This, i recognised as just plain outrageous. God doesn't need a singing congregation to feel your love, he doesn't need a sacred building to hear your prayers, what's the difference if we celebrate our love and faith of God in a group or not? I don't know whether I'm right. But it just seemed that way!


Thank you so much by the way... I just really need someone to talk to about it all. God is a huge part of me, and it's currently such a blind spot to me...

 

[meghan1]

I guess I could compare it to the whole Jew/Gentile situation. I'm not from a purely Christian family, therefore I am not pure. Therefore, I do not belong in their minds....

 

[GaryP]

Megan, I hope you are being sincere and are not trying to be funny. I personally would
call you on these postings. You seem to be baiting this forum. If you are sincere, lets
talk Living Blood and Living Water, cut to the core. Forget what creation is saying and
lets go into the spiritual realm. At the crucification you will see Blood and Water pouring
out of Jesus' side. Your choice is it alive or dead? Mark yourself with the blood and
wash yourself with the water. Mark 15:38 you will see that the Temple Curtain is
torn open ( Temple is open ). Now go in. ( Some say you will die if you enter )
Do you trust in the Living Blood and Water to enter. Once you enter unto the Father
in Heaven, Ask the questions you ponder to Him yourself.

I would not worry about the comings and goings of men, I would be more concerned
with what is unseen on Heaven and Earth.

 

[Peripatetic]

I don't dress controversially though. I dress normally. I dress in jeans and pretty tops, it's just.. I take pride in my appearance. Apparently that's not allowed.

It is both allowed and encouraged in most Christian churches. Pride is a very dangerous thing, but often misunderstood. Taking steps to look your best with dignity and without being obsessive is not prideful. You should not feel guilty at all. A person dressing down and wearing no makeup to show others how holy she is, or judging others because they don't dress the same... now THAT is pride.

 

[meghan1]

yea, I don't associate the way I dress with my connection with God at all. out of plain sense, I don't dress to provocatively, I dress however I feel comfortable, I dress to suit my character...I don't believe God would judge me on my appearance, why does it make it okay for people to? :l

I'm not being funny... I'm being deadly serious. What would give you the impression I'm not serious???

 

[kevind]

Hi,

It is very hard to find others to feed off of sometimes. I have this hunger to learn and learn and serve. We are now members of a church that miss us if we are not there. It did take time for this. Be patient with God he will deliver

 

[heymikey80]

I think it's great that you want to be a better Christian, that you already believe in God. It indicates you're willing but haven't figured out what God is asking you to do with your life on earth.

People questioning your Christianity is something of a common thing. People still question my faith as well: it's kind of a Pharisaic "one-up-manship", with people wanting to have something special that's more than someone else.

Jesus gave us as individuals quite a few ways of thinking about God and thinking about how we're to act toward other people, in the Sermon on the Mount. It's at around Matthew 5-7. Virtually all of the gospels talk a lot about how we respond to others. You'll find though, that the Christians around you don't exactly reflect or follow the Sermon on the Mount. First off, because it's not intended that you'll be perfect at it -- it's intended that you'll strive for it. But also it's because people tend to neglect it. It doesn't help our "rat race" for reputation. But it's good -- brilliantly good.

Plus, James also says it's not just a belief about God that makes Christians so -- it's a belief in God, much like you have a belief in your football team and hope they will confirm that belief with great games. It's more a relying on God than a belief that He exists, or that He's unique. Again, not everyone who calls on Jesus really recognizes this explicitly -- most do implicitly. But that's the critical thing, and I tend to see that undercurrent in your desire for being near to God.

Your background culture is probably going to be a minor wall for Christians and you to tackle. How you talk about things is also going to be "different". Christians are often very precise as to their doctrine -- their teaching -- because it has been challenged and improved for centuries. It's not a big deal, in fact it's a good thing, that you see firsthand some aspects of this teaching as you learn how it became what it is. But it is lonely at times, when you're misunderstood.

 

[meghan1]

yea, it can be quite lonely. but i suppose that's helped me to rely on God even more because I haven't had other people to rely on. But, there comes a point where it does just get too much and you do need someone to talk to about it all... and I feel like you guys here have really helped me thank you so much

 

[oi_antz]

Christians, like anyone at all, can become quite certain that they have the right end of the stick and anyone who doesn't agree with them has the wrong end of the stick. I think this might be what you are witnessing, that those Christians have some beliefs about what constitutes a Christian and you seem to be a little different from what they expect. That's fine, because you sound very new to Christianity but you certainly have the love for God residing in your heart.

So the next step for you should be to consider what you can do to put God first in your life, and I mean to make the distinction that it is not about pleasing other Christians that they will accept you as being one of the members in their family, but it should be for your own satisfaction that when you hear such seemingly judgmental remarks, you'll have full confidence within yourself that yes, you are justified by God.

This means you must get interested in the Bible. The Bible is the official testimony of God the creator who has explained how the world became what it is today, being a place consisting of people who belong to Him and honor Him, and people who don't. It also explains what will happen in the future as the world is eventually redeemed from evil, and His people are given eternal life in a new Earth with Jesus residing as their King, and there will be no more death or suffering.

So, it seems you have to get active and start learning what God has appointed for you. I guess it was easier for me when I became Christian because I had been raised in a Christian family and had learned a lot of Biblical history from Sunday school as a child. However this doesn't mean that I have an upper hand over you, because quite clearly you have just as much zeal, if not more, than the typical home-raised Christian, and in the family of Christ, knowledge does not equate to power. In fact it is much the opposite, that the ones who humble themselves and accept that God is the source of wisdom, that their knowledge is nothing but a drop in the ocean are the ones who will have no end to learning from Him.

Regarding your question about baptism, yes it is true that we must be baptized. The scripture is very clear about this, since the adoption into God's family is a matter of deciding you don't want to live a sinful life as is the natural status for all humans, but instead you want to live a holy life, a life of satisfying the spiritual needs rather than the physical needs. This decision is symbolic of putting the old self to death and burying it, and being raised into a new life of glory as a child of God. The process of going under the water demonstrates the death and burial of the old life, and while it may seem a trivial step since it is merely symbolic of a decision, because it is the means appointed by God, it is in fact a very significant step in your relationship with Him.

Here are some verses about this:

John 3 (New Living Translation)

John 3

1 There was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was a Pharisee. 2 After dark one evening, he came to speak with Jesus. “Rabbi,” he said, “we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.”

3 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again,[a] you cannot see the Kingdom of God.”

4 “What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?”

5 Jesus replied, “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. 6 Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life.[c] 7 So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You[d] must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”

Now, this is Jesus speaking. He is saying that if you want to see the Kingdom of God, you must be born of the Holy Spirit. You might ask just as Nicodemus did, how does one become born of the Holy Spirit? This is answered in verse 8. You can't predict where the Holy Spirit goes, who He will give life to, or when it will happen, but you can certainly invite Him to be the center of your life and by acknowledging Jesus Christ as your saviour, petition God that He will grant you the privilege of adoption into His family. Does it sound a little arrogant that you can just ask God and expect Him to save you? Consider yourself blessed already that you are willing to accept His grace, since He is only eager that all will come to repentance and receive eternal life, yet so many reject His offer.

This verse also shows that Jesus received the Holy Spirit through baptism by John:

Matthew 3

(John speaking to the hypocritical Jewish teachers)
11 “I baptize with[d] water those who repent of their sins and turn to God. But someone is coming soon who is greater than I am—so much greater that I’m not worthy even to be his slave and carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.[e] 12 He is ready to separate the chaff from the wheat with his winnowing fork. Then he will clean up the threshing area, gathering the wheat into his barn but burning the chaff with never-ending fire.”

The Baptism of Jesus

13 Then Jesus went from Galilee to the Jordan River to be baptized by John. 14 But John tried to talk him out of it. “I am the one who needs to be baptized by you,” he said, “so why are you coming to me?”
15 But Jesus said, “It should be done, for we must carry out all that God requires.[f]” So John agreed to baptize him.

16 After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened[g] and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”

So we see here, that although Jesus was already God's son and was set apart from the very beginning to be the one who administers the official baptism of the Holy Spirit, it wasn't until His baptism that He received the Holy Spirit directly from the hand of God the Father. Peter reiterates this prerequisite to receiving the Holy Spirit:

Acts 2
36 “So let everyone in Israel know for certain that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, to be both Lord and Messiah!”

37 Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?”

38 Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 This promise is to you, and to your children, and even to the Gentiles[h]—all who have been called by the Lord our God.” 40 Then Peter continued preaching for a long time, strongly urging all his listeners, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation!”

41 Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all.

So, you see again in verse 38, the command to repent and be baptized, and that by doing so the people who had formerly been non-Christians had become Christian.

Once you are baptized in the name of Jesus, you may always boast that you are Christian and no-one will challenge you on that. However, you must realize the significance of the action, that in doing so you are solemnly declaring to God that you want Him to take you into His family, and that you accept His Lordship in your life. From that point on you are married to Christ because the church is His bride. Your faith may go through ups and downs, thick and thin, richer and poorer, but you will always belong to Him and He will never fail to instruct you in ways of righteousness and how to save yourself from the destructive forces of evil, for He has conquered all His enemies and has placed you under His royal protection.

I pray to our heavenly Father that He will watch over you and guide you along the path, as you pursue the security of His love, and I pray this in Jesus' name as does every other Christian who reads this. Amen.

 

[meghan1]

I'm going to try with everything I have to follow these words... Whenever I am given an opportunity, I'm going to join the Baptist church and get baptised as an adult... I know now for sure this is the path I am meant to take, I want to follow God's plan. I cannot thank you guys enough, I really really cannot. Thank you so much, everyone!xx

 

[DreamOutLoud]

Remember that you're not alone. Being Christian doesn't depend on appearance, make-up, your past, drinking alcohol (what did Jesus drink? Wasn't it wine accidentaly?)...
I'm very sorry that people who claim to be Christian hurt you, but I'm sure you'll find another community who accept you, because you deserve it.

 

[SharonL]

Hi Meghan:

WOW - God is really smiling down on you. God knows your heart and had your path planned even before you were born.You may not see it now, but you are the light to show the way - God has chosen you - you are strong and your belief is grounded.

Don't let the people who are wrapped up in leaglism discourage you or get to you - it is in every church - don't do this and don't do that - don't dress this way and don't wear makeup - so foolish. God looks at the heart.

You are on the right path and yes it can be lonely - I live in a neighborhood where no one talks about God - and when I do - they get very quiet - they are believers, but they don't show it.

Just put your hand in the hand of Jesus and let the Holy Spirit guide your ways. Talk to Jesus, the Bible tells us He is your friend, you don't have to be on bended knee with Bible in hand to talk to God.

Enjoy your walk, just grow closer, let the Joy of the Lord show on your face - because you are really the light the God has brought to show the way.

God is so very proud of you - don't question what is happening to you, it is the hand of God upon you - keep searching, you will get baptised, but that is not keeping you out of Heaven, all you need do is Ask Jesus into your heart, repent of your sins and your name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life and the Bible tells us that no one can snatch you away. So very proud of you and you are God Chosen, never doubt it.

 

[oi_antz]

Remember that you're not alone. Being Christian doesn't depend on appearance, make-up, your past, drinking alcohol (what did Jesus drink? Wasn't it wine accidentaly?)...
I'm very sorry that people who claim to be Christian hurt you, but I'm sure you'll find another community who accept you, because you deserve it.

You most certainly do Meghan, keep looking for the church that you feel most comfortable with and that you can trust to teach you all about Jesus.