I cried yesterday...

[mrslisae]

I was on another forum talking about my life when it seemed everyone ganged up on me and called me a liar..This happened before so I've decided not to go back, but yesterday just crushed me...

I had just asked everyone to pray for me because I'm having such a time dealing with my mother's dying last Christmas..

I tried to get into a better mood by talking about things..I mentioned something that my dad had told me about him helping write a popular song...Then they immediantly jumped me...I was only saying what my dad had told me...If it was a lie it was his lie, not mine...I didn't know...So anyway

I just wasn't mentally or emotionally stable enough to take that kind of a slam....

I completely lost it...I felt like at that moment everyone hated me...All of my friends are dead or they turn out not to be friends at all...

I am so lonely!

I know that Jesus is my friend but sometimes I just want more...I want a real friend that can understand my grief and be here to talk with me..

Anyway I jumped behind the wheel which isn't usually a good idea...I didn't speed though...I drove very slowly and I cried and cried and cried for over an hour...

Guess I needed a release

Sure could use a REAL friend in this world

 

[Amin]

Hi buzymom,
I believe you had every right to feel
like you did.
I also can see why it would have made you cry.
You're looking for a friendly shoulder to lean on, and they turn into an angry mob.
People like that we don't need in our lives.
That might be harsh but i believe it.
I don't know everything and don't profess to.
I'm an ordinary lunch box joe that likes people.
Anyone should know if someone comes seeking help, or consolation
you don't start by chewing their arm off.
I feel really bad for you.
I hope you know you have friends here that care about you and how you feel.
Like i said, I don't know or even start to know very much, but if you ever need to talk, i won't chew your head off. That's for sure.
I pray for Gods' comfort and guidence in you r life.
Bless You,
Chuck.

 

[mrslisae]

Awe thanks Chuck...Thats more like what I need right now..

People say I'm lying about everything! Being sick, losing my memory, losing my home, losing my friends, brother n law, and mother all in 2yrs...Everything!!

I sure could use all the support I can get...Thankyou!!

 

[PaulaPadKy]

Good morning Buzymom

I have been there and doing that now. I find times that I get emotionally overwhelmed with missing my mom and having that one person you can tell almost anything to and she would never judge or criticize but guide me out of love. BUT, wow she would let me know it if she thought I was dead wrong too though….lol Believe me there has been days that my family will come in the kitchen see that it’s a hard one for me give me a hug and words of encourage me and leave me to grieve.

Let what those before told you slide off your back and out of your mind. We can’t hold things against others it just hurts us. Let God deal with them in his own way and time. I still find myself taking quiet drives and tears pop up or doing dishes or laundry and before I know it I am missing her so badly and crying. It’s natural you loved her and miss her. Every time we deal with a hard situation though we decide to either let it destroy us inside or learn from it and be stronger. No one can tell you how to deal with those situations everyone is different but sometimes if you just slow down and leave the worries of what’s to come to God and let go of what has passed and look around really hard you will see so many blessings right before you and appreciating those blessings will let your light shine inside and will help you ease some of that anger or pain J J J

Paula

 

[mrslisae]

I understand what you're saying. It seems to me that had I not lost so many so soon, the death of my mother wouldn't have hit me very hard. In all actuality, it didn't. I have just now begun to miss her as we face the anniversary of her death...

It was losing my dearest friend and mother figure, then my brother n law a week later, then my male mentor, then my female mentor, then my mother, and then the very first friend I tried to make since losing my best friend...

Its all of these things combined with all the physical and financial struggles...

I've been through so much and when people say hurtful things to me, I respond with anger to protect myself..I act as though it doesn't hurt and that they can just go on with themselves...

Inside it breaks me into a million shattered pieces and I don't any pieces left to break...I guess now I'm just being crushed into powder..

I never had parents that believed a word I said...Even a dear,dear,dear friend who meant the world to me, even he told me that perhaps I was repeating things I had been told rather than remembering...

I guess that some people mean well and other mean to hurt, either way, I take it personal when I share my life and have someone tell me I'm a bold faced liar...

Right now I'm angry...All the anger I've held for so many years is starting to show on the outside..

 

[PaulaPadKy]

If someone lies it does take time, and it should, to regain the trust of those around us. You shouldn't hold it in but at the same time you can release it little by little without hurting others along the way. Simply tell them..whoever it is that doesn't believe you..that you are sorry if some where down the line you mislead them or maybe told them something you thought to be true that wasn't and what you are saying now is simply their choice to believe or not and leave it at that. If you are being as honest as you truly can be then there is no more you can do.

We all have pieces that have been crushed but we have to leave those crushers in God's hands and if he means for us to continue gluing pieces together over and over the rest of our lives then so be it. Maybe you could look at things in a different light when others doubt you and maybe work on not taking it extremely personal. A nice long deep breath first might help. Sometimes we as women and someone that has been hurt do get overly emotional about issues that others see as normal facts and their reactions is to look at it as move on to the next problem. Which, I must admit I tend to be more in the last few years. Sometimes we just have to look at things and take the facts as they are and not get emotionally attached but simply do what we can about the situation and pray for the best outcome. It’s very hard at times and does take a lot of patience and time to get to that point but I think as we grow in our faith and trust that God can handle the situation better than we can it does become easier.

Paula

 

[mrslisae]

I do agree I should try taking a deep breath before I respond..

I can't control anyone but me..I'm not perfect, but I'm not a liar and I'm not trash...Thats the two things I've been called most..

The problem is, my health. When I read or hear comments that are harsh against me, my heart rate goes through the roof!! I already have an overactive heart so stress just is not something I need..

I'm just learning to walk away...I just hope I don't end up a complete recluse..

 

[Amin]

Hi,
I really feel for you.
I wish there were some way i could take your stress and let me have it so you wouldn't have to deal with it.
It is frustrating when you're telling the truth and people think the opposite.
Lord rest upon my friends heart and help her thru this time.
Let her feel peace that can come from only you.
Hold her in your arms and comfort her. She's been thru a lot of stress and needs to relax Lord.
I ask that you would be a real sense of strength for her and handle this situation for her.
Lord, you're our God.When it comes to life and struggles, only you can give her exactly what she needs.
I pray that at this time Lord for her.
I pray these things in the glorious name of our Lord and Saviour,
Jesus Christ.
Bless You.
Chuck.

 

[mrslisae]

thankyou

 

[Amin]

You're welcome.
I just wish i could do more.
Know that i really feel for you and am praying for good things in your life.
Please Take Care.
Chuck.

 

[mrslisae]

Thankyou. That means alot.

 

[Amin]

Thankyou. That means alot.

You don't have to thank me.
It's my priviledge.
Chuck.

 

[Hisbygrace]

Oh how I wish I could cry, but the tears just won't seem to come. I can feel the sorrow and pain in my heart for the lost of my husband almost five years ago. I still miss him so much!

 

[i1will1obey1god]

i'll be your friend because i just found out my grandmother died today so i know how it feels