I couldn't resist.

[OldWiseGuy]

"Give a man a fish
and he'll eat for a day."

"Teach a man to fish
and he'll sit in a boat all day drinking beer."

 

[Yanni depp]

Following the inability to resist....
Amish murderers get the acoustic chair.

 

[Moral Orel]

When life hands you lemons, keep chucking 'em at the guy that gave them to you until he gives you the oranges you asked for in the first place!

 

[Tanj]

Give a man some fire, he is warm for the night.
Set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.

 

[Dave-W]

Following the inability to resist....
Amish murderers get the acoustic chair.

Ah - I love those unplugged shows.

 

[Dave-W]

When life hands you lemons, keep chucking 'em at the guy that gave them to you until he gives you the oranges you asked for in the first place!

Orange you glad he did not chuck Grapefruits at you???

 

[JackRT]

Orange you glad he did not chuck Grapefruits at you???

You said that on porpoise just for the halibut.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

You said that on porpoise just for the halibut.

Groan.

 

[Dave-W]

Groan.

And harvested.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

And harvested.

(Places gun to head.)

 

[durangodawood]

We need some pun control legislation.

 

[JackRT]

We need some pun control legislation.

If you break the pun control law what should the pun-ishment be?

 

[tulc]

if puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
tulc(a public safety warning)

 

[tulc]

What rhymes with orange.
No it doesn't.
tulc(punctuation matters)

 

[tulc]

women: if you get a chance always date a mushroom
they're always a fungi
tulc(is sorry for this but it's probably not going to stop anytime soon)

 

[JackRT]

women: if you get a chance always date a mushroom
they're always a fungi
tulc(is sorry for this but it's probably not going to stop anytime soon)

You can't say something like that with impunity.

 

[durangodawood]

We need some pun control legislation.

I propose all puns come equipped with mandatory silencers.

 

[tulc]

You can't say something like that with impunity.

you young punslingers, I used to be like that, addicted to puns and the hokey-pokey, fortunately I turned myself around...'cause that's what it's all about.
tulc(warned you all about this)

 

[OldWiseGuy]

"Hickory dickory dock,
Two mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
But the other got away."

 

[durangodawood]

dickory

You can say that here?