I confessed and she accepted

[onlyimagine]

I am so confused. This is a long story but I'll try to keep it to the point. I confessed to my wife of 12 years that I have been looking at porn. I was expecting her to be made but she accepted it. At first I went along with it because I thought that was what I wanted. It went as far as trying to invite another man in our sex life. Thank God it didn't happen. Now I do not want that kind of life I want to turn away from my temptations. She still wants to have another man in our bed. This is very uncharactoristic of her. I am affraid this is going to ruin our marriage. She says she doesn't care if it is wrong, she's tired of being good. I NEED HELP WITH HER.

 

[searle29678]

So you were looking at porn and she didn't know it and when you told her she was so accepting of it that she offered a threesome? Maybe I misread that.....

Have you told her that you don't want that type of relationship and you want that part of your life to be over?

 

[onlyimagine]

Thats right, yes I told her I don't want that kind of lifestyle

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

So you were looking at porn and she didn't know it and when you told her she was so accepting of it that she offered a threesome? Maybe I misread that.....

Have you told her that you don't want that type of relationship and you want that part of your life to be over?

I read it as *he* wanted to bring another man into the marriage.(sexually)

 

[searle29678]

First and foremost refuse her offers of this adulterous behavior and let her know why. If she is a believer, pray with her and for her. She must understand why this is wrong and what it could do to your marriage. Have you suggested counselling? or have you discussed this with her in detail at all concerning why she wants to do this other than 'she is tired of being good.'?

 

[onlyimagine]

(She wanted to bring another man in.) She told me not to preach to her or pray for her.

 

[Redguard]

Are you sure she accepted your apology? Sounds to me like she's trying to teach you a lesson in the pains of lusting outside of the marriage.

 

[Leanna]

It sounds like lust/porn and sexual desires might be something she is dealing with also..... tell her no, you don't want that. Apart from moral implications she should respect that because you are her husband. Then I would just wait and see if she maybe comes back to God.... pray, and get involved in a church. If there is a particular man she has suggested I would be suspicious of their relationshop when you are not around.

 

[lourie]

WOW,

"now she wants another man?? you have not noticed this before? Is there a specific man she wants to include?

If this is news to you she maybe teaching you a lesson. OR maybe the two of you are more alike then you thought regarding porn/sex.

I always tell men that say "Hey two women together is natural" i always come back with "Hey if i can have 2 men then you can have 2 women" that usually makes the men think and shuts them right up!! lol

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Are you sure she accepted your apology? Sounds to me like she's trying to teach you a lesson in the pains of lusting outside of the marriage.

That was exactly my impression.

 

[lourie]

(She wanted to bring another man in.) She told me not to preach to her or pray for her.

Call her Bluff???

Just to see how far she takes it??

 

[onlyimagine]

I called here bluff, thank God the third party got called to work, it would have gotten ugly. She seems to be set in her ways. She acting like nothing else matter but this desire. I don't want to loose her but a can not live like that. I told her I woul do anything for her but I wouldn't go to hell with her.

 

[Redguard]

I called here bluff, thank God the third party got called to work, it would have gotten ugly. She seems to be set in her ways. She acting like nothing else matter but this desire. I don't want to loose her but a can not live like that. I told her I woul do anything for her but I wouldn't go to hell with her.

Who was this third party member?

 

[onlyimagine]

A complete stranger she found on the a adult web site

 

[4jacks]

is she a christian?

 

[onlyimagine]

yes she is, I thought a strong one

 

[Redguard]

A complete stranger she found on the a adult web site

You were saying that you were the one calling her bluff, right?

Did she call him and invite him for the menage? Or did you call him?

 

[4jacks]

I'd seperate with hopes of reconciliation...

I suspect she's already cheated.

If she has or does, I'd leave her.

Any Kids?

 

[lourie]

I suspect she's already cheated.

I agree. You dont START with a 3 some. I would think you would have to work up to that.

 

[Redguard]

So... what were the events leading up to your confession?

For the past 12 years, was everything just business-as-usual with her? Or was there any other fishy stuff going on?

I'm also baffled by her SUDDEN request for a threesome, coming immediately after you confess to watching pron.