I can't stand masculinity. (Tiny rant)

[ttreg]

I can't stand being in a church where all the guys are really macho. That goes for both guys my own age and older. Not that I'm saying I want everyone to be really feminine, no. I also don't want to be a member of a church where gender roles are emphasized. I want to belong to a church where the people are level headed and actually intelligent.

 

[itisdeliciouscake]

and where they don't listen to the Bible either I presume?

 

[Wedjat]

Would it be better to have harshly defined gender roles and not allow women to speak in church?

 

[aandb]

Masculinity is different to everyone, remember... I consider being "masculine" as being a bit sporty, intelligent, somewhat artsy, and sensitive. That loosely defines my "perfect" (for lack of a better word) man.

Guys who walk around and act like they're all that bug me. A little bit of confidence and self pride is all right, acting like you're God's gift to Earth isn't. Girls who act like that bug me as well.

 

[solarwave]

I can't stand being in a church where all the guys are really macho. That goes for both guys my own age and older. Not that I'm saying I want everyone to be really feminine, no. I also don't want to be a member of a church where gender roles are emphasized. I want to belong to a church where the people are level headed and actually intelligent.

What do you mean by macho? What kind of gender roles? What do you mean by level headed and intelligent people?

 

[SiXe]

Macho man churches eh? i can understand people being respectful in church but if a man is just being himself i see nothing wrong with that.

 

[nesichah]

Are gender roles in church diffrent from the way the men act outside church? It could just be the way they are in wich case you cant complain to much.

In my church the guys are not exactly macho,but there seem to be clearly defined gender roles.

Things Guys do that I have never seen a woman do in my church
-musician
-sunday school teacher
-help out with youth group

Things women do that I have never seen a guy do
-lead worship
-read the anouncements

I dont think there is any particular reason why its like that,I think it just ocured that way.And its simply a case of guys doing guy stuff and women thinking its guy stuf and staying away,likewise with the ladies.

 

[Aino]

Find a church like that, it' as simple as that. Or change your attitude and start trying to get along with the more macho people at church as well.

 

[SparkyMaddie]

i dont understand your problem,sorry. this is life.

 

[HarborOrange]

yeah, I don't know quite how that'd be aggravating. Just be glad the guys aren't girly. Haha.
I consider myself masculine, but I'm terrible at any sport that isn't snowboarding or swimming... And music is my favorite thing ever, along with photography. So yeah.
I don't know what you quite mean by the whole masculine term you're using. Do you mean it as in the guys in your church are all like jocks or something?

 

[Skeptic90]

Oh yes, the dominant discourse of masculinity. One of the many discourses I studied from the many courses I have crash at the university.

Masculinity is defined as the society defines it as. Being masculine, or macho, is to be aggressive, love sports, be very derogatory against feminine or homosexuals, be careless, prove your maniless through actions, and try to get laid as much as possible. So like I said, society looks up at men who act this way. If you do not fall into this norm, you will be look down upon and be considered as weak or feminine.

What can you do? Well create an alternative discourse. What ever you do, do not conform. Be who you want to be. Just because society, or even your community and family tells you to behave, act, or believe a certain way, it doesn't mean it is the correct way. You have the free will to be who you want to be.

So go out and change churches. Its either change, or be changed.

 

[PeculiarGuy]

I can't stand being in a church where all the guys are really macho. That goes for both guys my own age and older. Not that I'm saying I want everyone to be really feminine, no. I also don't want to be a member of a church where gender roles are emphasized. I want to belong to a church where the people are level headed and actually intelligent.

I have the problem with pretty much every guy. Guys are too competitive and too obsessed with being masculine. I am a guy, and I am fed up with the amount of idiotic teenagers obsessed with how much muscle they have and the score they got on their last game. I have nearly no competitiveness, but I enjoy sports. Sure, I'm no good and I'm not super strong, but what does that matter? Guys need to relax and stop worrying about the masculinity. Men are men, you can't make yourself any more manly, so just drop it. lol

 

[HarborOrange]

I have the problem with pretty much every guy. Guys are too competitive and too obsessed with being masculine. I am a guy, and I am fed up with the amount of idiotic teenagers obsessed with how much muscle they have and the score they got on their last game. I have nearly no competitiveness, but I enjoy sports. Sure, I'm no good and I'm not super strong, but what does that matter? Guys need to relax and stop worrying about the masculinity. Men are men, you can't make yourself any more manly, so just drop it. lol

Lol, but it says that you're a female, in like your little info panel thing. haha.

But, I agree.

 

[PeculiarGuy]

Lol, but it says that you're a female, in like your little info panel thing. haha.

But, I agree.

oh.... oops, I need change that

 

[Unfit'for'swine]

Blegh masculinity is apart of the male function

 

[Mr_Sun]

I think the OP is talking about the masculinity that so many people try to live up to that they see in the media. Take a rap song, the music video will be a buff shirtless guy with a bunch of half naked ladies and he has lots of money, nice car and look powerful.

I see people at my church act this way too. It IS a personality but people get sucked into this stereotype of what a man 'should be' by what is in the pop media. So if something is popular, its 'accepted'.

Think of the guy from Owl City. Now more and more guys are dressing sort of like him. And not just from that guy but other people of that area of Popular Media. ... sometimes this leads to the hipster clique you see now. Guitar in hand, stylish clothes, treats their girls like they are a fragile vase. There is nothing entirely BAD about this personality trait some people adopt unlike the one mentioned before about the 'super buff, powerful, wealthy' guy from a rap video where it could lead to maybe abuse if somebody got lost in the character enough. Whereas a hipster man would probably look like a wimp and get taken advantage of in certain situations by different people. Its just a huge mess really... In the end I would hope we all don't let others influence who we are but unfortunately we do see a lot of it. I didn't think I was at ALL influenced and shrugged it off as plain BS from parents and teachers but after a while I came to realise that its true what they say... ha

Thats a reason some of the older people on the forum will say they try to listen to not a lot of secular music because I think, they know that it can subconsciously affect the kids who will look to them for guidance. After a while, more of the singers kids like will start to look tough, powerful, sexy and stuff and they will most likely act like it too since it becomes in Popular Media and seems to be 'normal'.

I just had a class on this in school before summer vacation.


I hope I don't sound crazy. I tried to make it simple. It is 1am in the morning and I am tired from my Church youth thing... haha

 

[Tallerthanatree]

Men are men, you can't make yourself any more manly, so just drop it.

So you mean to tell me somebody like Perez Hilton is as manly as Doug Young?

Thought so. And ladies, you're welcome.

 

[theblackcat]

Not sure if you mean macho the way I'm interpreting it, but some of my family members go to a church that seems extremely gender obsessed and where they have strict ideas on what it means to be a man versus a woman, and I've always felt very uncomfortable visiting there. The men are stoic, aggressive, always very competent but kind of inhuman because they act so emotionless and controlling. Women are seen as flighty, emotional and kind of unreliable, like children. I've also seen men there refuse to feed their children or take responsibility for them since it's "women's work". They have a sharp division of labour. Men do electrical and heavy maintenance work, mow the grass and lead groups, women clean, do clerical work or watch children. That's always really turned me off. I'd struggle in a church like that, too.

Start exploring other churches, probably. See if they have the same kinds of norms and practises and also whether their teachings seem accurate and Biblical to you.

 

[HarborOrange]

I don't even go to church anymore, so I don't have to worry about this stuff. A fair amount of people at churches (At least at the many churches I've tried to go to) seem to be posers and hypocrites, so really, no matter the church you go to, there will always be people like that.

 

[theblackcat]

So you mean to tell me somebody like Perez Hilton is as manly as Doug Young?

Thought so. And ladies, you're welcome.

That guy is creepy looking!