I Can't Stand Churches!

[HoosierCanuck]

Ever since saying the sinner's prayer and attempting to live the Christian life nearly 20 years ago, I've been to church after church...usually in 2-3 year spurts and I can't help but be angry at the fact that I've run into the same thing time after time....People are simply snobs! Take the place I visited today...I've known the Pastor since I was a teenager when he was a youth Pastor at another church. I visited his church (in an attempt to give churches a chance again!) and got a VERY COLD reception....the greeter opened the door and said "hi" but wouldn't even look at me and everyone else who bothered to make eye contact just sized me up and didn't bother to say anything to me. I found this to be very sad because the Pastor there is an awesome person...very down-to-earth, gives great, meaningful sermons and truly has a heart for God. I just wish his congregation did! If I hadn't had such a horrible experience I might have considered returning.

Prior to this disasterous visit to a church for the first time in a few months, I would simply go to a local park and sit at a picnic table and pray and read my bible. I honestly felt like I got closer to God during these times! Not to mention, I didn't have to worry about being rejected by 300 hypocrites and leaving a building feeling less than spiritual. Everyone says 'church is necessary for fellowship, etc..." but my question is....WHERE is the fellowship? I feel churches are nothing more than Country Clubs for Christians....maybe I would have been accepted had I been 'invited' by a member instead of 'just visiting.'

 

[buffedstuff]

...........................

 

[Shannonkish]

I feel the same way!!

 

[Daughter of His]

That is unfortunate, think we've all had that experience. Could you try again forgetting past experience and purposely speak to a couple of people briefly? Maybe the people are reserved and many are, you are right though some are just snobs. If you've found a church with a good minister, I think it would be worth trying again.

 

[peacechild4]

Dear Hoosier Canuck,

I do so understand sister.. this happened to me only yesterday..

There is always someone in every church.. to connect with though I am finding... There are two very special older members of our church.. One of them just comes up and hugs me.. she knows I think... and I feel God sends her to me too!
And another who will sit and talk with me even though many times others pass me by.. And whenever I am in line to get a cup of hot tea.. she makes me one just the way I like it..
I do so understand.. search out for those few warm faces.. and perhaps... be a warm face to someone just like you, they are easy to spot or so I think.. I wish I were a bit closer I would come with you to have a bible study in the park..
It hurts I know..
Jesus once whispered in my ear... they shut me out too...

(((Hugs)))

God bless you sister...

 

[Victrixa]

I'm sorry about your bad experiences HoosierCanuck.



There are truly holy and real Christians out there, however, one has to find them. There are a few really Spirit-lead churches as well. Unfortunately, the biggest disease in God's Church these days is lack of love. Where has Christ-like love gone to? It's very sad. We need to pray, we need to be examples, we need to help make true disciples of our Lord. Christ's body is ill and wounded. Healing for the Church will come, in God's time. In the meantime, there is a lot of suffering for true sensitive God-fearing Christians.

 

[Alpine]

Sounds like a cell church would fit you way better. I used to get WAY WAY more out of small groups then I ever got out of those boring church services.

 

[lonnienord]

Dear HoosierCanuck, May i make a couple of suggestions:
1. Pray!! Pray for the pastor and the church you visited!! Do that daily for at least 3 days.
2. Tell the pastor what happened. Either call him or write him a letter.
3. Keep praying for the pastor and the church!!
4. Ask GOD if that is the church HE wants you to minister in.
5. If it is the church GOD wants you in. Join get to know people. (yup some of them are hypicrites and all of them are sinners just like me and you) After you get to know the people become a welcoming committee. When ever you see some one new be friendly with them!!
6. Read the first chapter of the Purpose Driven Life. Remember that it is not all about you!!
7. Pray!!

 

[Akathist]

I wouls encourage you to go to church for Christ, not for fellowship. Of course, I would suggest an Orthodox church because that is what I personally love. But, whereever you go, go for Christ. After you have attended a church for three months you may find that you feel differently about church.

Many times people in churches get tired of "Visitors" (though I wish they would not be so impatient) and wait to see if you will stick around,

 

[EmeraldLily]

I am also a recent church seeker. imho

I read(somewhere) to attend a church three times before you decide for or against.

For me having a pastor whose message speaks to/touches me-would keep me going for those three times- nasty people aside.
I feel compelled to return to church and I am not doing that for anyone but God.
I have been away for 8 years.
In my case I am the one less likely to talk to people- not because I'm rude- but because I am very shy and do not get out much except for groceries drs apts and now church . That gives me perspective on other people- might they be as shy as I am??

I have attended this church for 4 weeks now and to be honest I'm still not sure. If the Pastor was really great I would be sure...If the songleader sung the song on the board...that would help....frankly if no one spoke to me I'd be happy blending into the background....but that is me....

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Thanks for all of your responses. Honestly, I'm not looking to join any of the cliques. I just think a simple 'hello, welcome to our church...my name is...." would have been nice rather than dirty looks....yes....dirty looks. While sitting there yesterday I considered returning and simply doing as I did yesterday....sit by myself away from everyone else, don't make eye contact, go there, sing the hymns/songs, pray, tithe, listen to the message, and leave. Church without fellowship at all. Then I thought....well...that's what I do at the park (not the singing or the tithing) and I can wear shorts and a t-shirt! People in other threads keep telling me that we 'need' fellowship. I can get close to God anywhere on this planet but if this thing called fellowship is necessary, then other than on the CF, where can I find it? Just wondering....

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Sounds like a cell church would fit you way better. I used to get WAY WAY more out of small groups then I ever got out of those boring church services.

What is a cell church?

 

[headedhome]

Are you sure its the church and not you. Church is the people not the building and people aren't perfect, but it sounds like you could be going with a needy attitude to start. I'd rather not have people make a big deal out of me when I go to another church. I go to worship Jesus 1st and if they worship Him, truly worship Him, I'll feel right at home. If I get to know people I would rather it be at my pace. And as for them being a bunch of hypocrites, yeah they are, we all are, you included. Who needs church more a hypocrite or a none hypocrite?, if there was such a thing. Maybe it is the church, but maybe just maybe, its not. Either way don't let a building and imperfect people ruin your fellowship with Jesus. He's worth making an effort to let people be themselves and get to know them, maybe in the long run you'll be glad ya did.

 

[Shannonkish]

Fellowship with Jesus can and does occur outside of the church... I haven't been to church in almost a year... but, my fellowship/relationship with Christ hasn't suffered any.

 

[lonnienord]

Thanks for all of your responses. Honestly, I'm not looking to join any of the cliques. I just think a simple 'hello, welcome to our church...my name is...." would have been nice rather than dirty looks....yes....dirty looks. While sitting there yesterday I considered returning and simply doing as I did yesterday....sit by myself away from everyone else, don't make eye contact, go there, sing the hymns/songs, pray, tithe, listen to the message, and leave. Church without fellowship at all. Then I thought....well...that's what I do at the park (not the singing or the tithing) and I can wear shorts and a t-shirt! People in other threads keep telling me that we 'need' fellowship. I can get close to God anywhere on this planet but if this thing called fellowship is necessary, then other than on the CF, where can I find it? Just wondering....

did you read post #8

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Dear HoosierCanuck, May i make a couple of suggestions:
1. Pray!! Pray for the pastor and the church you visited!! Do that daily for at least 3 days.
2. Tell the pastor what happened. Either call him or write him a letter.
3. Keep praying for the pastor and the church!!
4. Ask GOD if that is the church HE wants you to minister in.
5. If it is the church GOD wants you in. Join get to know people. (yup some of them are hypicrites and all of them are sinners just like me and you) After you get to know the people become a welcoming committee. When ever you see some one new be friendly with them!!
6. Read the first chapter of the Purpose Driven Life. Remember that it is not all about you!!
7. Pray!!

Prayer is a good idea and an obvious choice of action in my opinion. I pray for the churches around the world to be awakened and realize that they are not reaching the lost because of their holier than thou attitude. I can't tell you how many people I know who have turned away from Christianity simply because of their experience with 'church people.'

I tried reading Purpose Driven Life...I just don't have the patience to read. I can barely get into reading the Bible.

The pastor....I thought about writing him a note but I think he would just get offended. There is a long story here that I don't feel like posting tonight but if you want to know, PM me.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Are you sure its the church and not you. Church is the people not the building and people aren't perfect, but it sounds like you could be going with a needy attitude to start. I'd rather not have people make a big deal out of me when I go to another church. I go to worship Jesus 1st and if they worship Him, truly worship Him, I'll feel right at home. If I get to know people I would rather it be at my pace. And as for them being a bunch of hypocrites, yeah they are, we all are, you included. Who needs church more a hypocrite or a none hypocrite?, if there was such a thing. Maybe it is the church, but maybe just maybe, its not. Either way don't let a building and imperfect people ruin your fellowship with Jesus. He's worth making an effort to let people be themselves and get to know them, maybe in the long run you'll be glad ya did.

I'm surprised it took this long for someone to blame ME for an obvious problem that goes far beyond my own issues. Chances are you are one of the people that would let the door shut in my face when I'm walking into the building behind you. Yes, everyone is a hypocrite because we aren't perfect. However, what I happened to see Sunday was a bunch of stuffy people who really didn't appear to be happy....they didn't get into the music, they really hardly moved at all. What I observed was quite sad, in my opinion. I've been to other places were people were practically dancing in the isles because they were filled with the Spirit. I think you only read what you wanted to read from my posts.....I'm not letting a bunch of snobs ruin my relationship with Jesus. I'm just concerned that I am not able to associate with other Christians because of their attitude and actions. I am personally sick of hanging around non-Christians who constantly swear and talk about immoral behaviour and bring me down. I would like to make friends who have some substance. I would ASSUME because as Christians we should love each other and be Christlike that this shouldn't be a problem. However, it is. It frustrates me to no end. I have no respect for people who walk around with their nose in the air and judge a person based on the fact that their shirt may have been bought at Kmart instead of Macy's. This is shallow and stupid and I'm sure it breaks God's heart. Not all people are like this but I'm afraid that everyone in my hometown is. I've considered church shopping out of town but the price of gas is cost prohibitive.

 

[Alpine]

What is a cell church?

Definition of a cell church

 

[ALABALE]

Hi Hoosier! Please don't give up! That church most likely needs to look into their Hospitality Ministry and maybe revamp it. If you've known the Pastor for a long time I'm guessing you have a good rapport with them. Would you share your experience with them? That would probably open their eyes to something that they're not aware of.

The Senior Pastors have so much on their plate and they trust and delegate the different departments to people they believe can run with their vision. Unfortunately, we leaders do drop the ball and need some shaking up.

 

[thenewageriseth]

Wow. Hoosier. I'm sorry that happened to you. You know what? I know a pastor, and she's sweet and she'll say hi. I met this older woman (who I found out was the pastor's sister later), and I said hi to her. She said hi back, but she had this [glow=blue] COLD[/glow] stare! *shivers* I wouldn't mind if I don't see her for a while. She gave off these vibes that I picked up...oooh...I was gonna mention that to my cousin, before I found out she was related to the pastor, then I just changed my mind.