Let me start off by saying that I 100% believe in god. I believe in love, I just don't feel it. I am the opposite. I am bitter, and everyone annoys me. I find that most people in life that I have met are selfish people and I just can't love. But I am a hypocrite because I know I am worse than others. I know I am not better than anyone else in this world. But I still can't find love for anyone. I am full of bitterness and hate. Not the type of hate that makes me want to inflict pain, but the kind of hate that makes me dislike the world and what it has become. I can watch a million movies and will always shed tears. So I know I have feelings of love, and I hate to see people hurt and down. I give to the poor when they ask because the lord says to. I don't know their story and shouldn't assume what they have been through, nor should I judge them. I wonder if I dislike the world, if I am judging everyone.
The reason I come here now is because I am saddened by my lack of love. I pray to god to soften my heart, change the way I think, fill me with wisdom, to help me have love in my heart because I honestly, truly know for a fact that to love everyone, to love your neighbor as you would love god is the way life should be. I just don't feel love. I believe in god, but am not sure if the feeling of love is there. I don't hate god. He is god, he created me, and gave me the gift of life. I am thankful for the opportunity to be one of his children. He is my savior, my creater. I pray, and pray for him to change me, but love does not fill my heart. I hear him tell me all the right things to do. Someone at work (all of whom I dislike and find they are very selfish and take advantage of people) asks me for money for example, I will give it, no questions asked. But not out of love. It's because I know it's the right thing to do, and god pops it in my head to give it.
I really, really wish I could wake up one morning and be ful of joy because I have love in my heart. But I only have bitterness and hate. And knowing I am ful of that just saddeneds me and disappoints.
I read the bible. I have over 10 different types. My favorite one is the Geneva bible 1560 edition (facsimile of course). I have concordances and probably over 100 books from different authors. The resources are here for me, but I can't find love in my heart. I often think that I need to go through some extreme experience to do the trick. Like be attacked by a bear for example. Then maybe my eyes and heart would be opened.
So in summary, I have bibles, I pray, I know god says to love him first, then love your neighbors, give when asked, do good. I do good, but not out of love. I am so so so so tired of being a bitter person. I want to genuinely love. Can anyone please help. I know I am probably wrong to ask here, I should wait for god to answer my prayers. I don't know if he doesn't answer because I sin or what. I feel bad and am genuinely sorry when I sin. God gave me life and I repay with sin, I do repent. I don't know what else to do. I am tired of hate in my heart. I used to be a happy person, but now I just hate everyone. Please help
The reason I come here now is because I am saddened by my lack of love. I pray to god to soften my heart, change the way I think, fill me with wisdom, to help me have love in my heart because I honestly, truly know for a fact that to love everyone, to love your neighbor as you would love god is the way life should be. I just don't feel love. I believe in god, but am not sure if the feeling of love is there. I don't hate god. He is god, he created me, and gave me the gift of life. I am thankful for the opportunity to be one of his children. He is my savior, my creater. I pray, and pray for him to change me, but love does not fill my heart. I hear him tell me all the right things to do. Someone at work (all of whom I dislike and find they are very selfish and take advantage of people) asks me for money for example, I will give it, no questions asked. But not out of love. It's because I know it's the right thing to do, and god pops it in my head to give it.
I really, really wish I could wake up one morning and be ful of joy because I have love in my heart. But I only have bitterness and hate. And knowing I am ful of that just saddeneds me and disappoints.
I read the bible. I have over 10 different types. My favorite one is the Geneva bible 1560 edition (facsimile of course). I have concordances and probably over 100 books from different authors. The resources are here for me, but I can't find love in my heart. I often think that I need to go through some extreme experience to do the trick. Like be attacked by a bear for example. Then maybe my eyes and heart would be opened.
So in summary, I have bibles, I pray, I know god says to love him first, then love your neighbors, give when asked, do good. I do good, but not out of love. I am so so so so tired of being a bitter person. I want to genuinely love. Can anyone please help. I know I am probably wrong to ask here, I should wait for god to answer my prayers. I don't know if he doesn't answer because I sin or what. I feel bad and am genuinely sorry when I sin. God gave me life and I repay with sin, I do repent. I don't know what else to do. I am tired of hate in my heart. I used to be a happy person, but now I just hate everyone. Please help
