I can't get over it....

[GuitarChick13]

My grandpa smoked awhile back and then he got emphasema. He went to the nursing home, but when he was a little better, we brought him to our house (I was 12 or 11) and he lived with us for a year...(I'm 13) and then he died. We were really close and its been about 5 months, but I can't get over it. I cry every other day, just about. If not crying, then on the verge of crying. And the other day I almost started crying during church (at a friend's youth group) when the preacher was thanking God for saving someone's grandma from cancer. I just thought, "Why my grandpa?" I know God meant for it to be this way, but why? Oh, well. I feel like I'm just whining but oh well.

 

[LynnMcG]

There's no time limit for mourning. It's only been 5 months, don't be so hard on yourself. You're certainly not whining. This was probably the most significant loss of your life so far. I lost my first grandparent when I was your age. I can still remember how I felt.

I lost my dad two years ago. I still miss him. Some days more than others. Some days memories of him make me smile, other days they make me cry. There are no rules to mourning. Be where you need to be. And take comfort in your Father in Heaven.

 

[roseglass6370]

Sometimes it takes a long time to get over someone we loved when they pass away, and no one is forcing you to "get over" his death, as we can never truely just "get over" someone. However, we must just remember that God has a different plan and time schedule for the life of each person, and even if we don't always understand why God does things we must trust that He does have a reason for everything He does even when we can't always understand it as humans. Just remind yourself that you dont have to "get over" him and instead just thank God for the wonderful memories you had with him and be glad that you had such a wonderful grandpa that you could share all those times with, consider your time with him a blessing. If you ever ever need someone to talk to PM me, and I hope you are able to find peace with his passing when you are ready.

 

[Hisbygrace]

My husband died three years ago and I still mourn for him. there is no set time limit on mourning for someone you love. There are days when I will do good and there are days when I don't want to get out of bed. But I know in my heart that he is in a better place and no longer in pain. He had emphysema too.

 

[GuitarChick13]

Its horrible to see someone suffer with emphysema! I HATE IT. The worst part is I never got a chance to say bye. It was just, when they were wheeling him out on the stretcher out of my house I just said, "I love you, Papa. It'll get better!" But I know he didn't hear me. I talked to him right before the ambulance got there. I just told him that we were all praying for him...

 

[LynnMcG]

My husband lost his mom to emphysema when he was 15. He and his twin sister stayed home that summer to care for their mom. I can tell you that it's something I'm certain you'll never forget. But what you have to remember is the positive impact your Papa had on your life. The sadness will never completely leave you, because you lost someone close to you. But in time, the sadness lessens and you'll find that you're able to remember him with happier memories more often than sad.

Remember, you are blessed to have had a relationship with your Papa! Some people never know their grandparents.

 

[Christdefinesme]

Dear GuitarChick:
Yes, watching someone you love suffer from terminal illness is HORRIBLE. I am probably "old" to you, since I have 4 kids, and one of them is your age......but, I just lost my parents 2 years ago to terminal illness, watching them suffer. I think that the hardest part is imagining how they must feel in that suffering. But, I also have to believe that Christ is with them in a much deeper way than we can ever imagine, not going through that type of suffering ourselves. But he has. At times I could only imagine that the disciples and Mary must've had the same emotions as me when they watched Christ suffer. We read in the Word that we will suffer on this earth. Suffering is part of our existence here, but Christ is with us in our suffering. Jesus suffered grief also, many types of grief. That doesn't take away those images of suffering that we've seen, but we need to bring Christ into our suffering. Ask Him to come into those images you are left with, and show you how to walk with those images in HIM. You are young to have to watch someone suffer so terribly, but Christ will use it for good in your life. He will redeem what you've witnessed. Do not worry about what it must've been like for your Grandfather. I would be willing to bet that Christ was with him in more ways than you can imagine. There is so much on this earth and in the heavenly realms that we are not aware of, and so much that our human minds can't comprehend. So, trust Jesus in this and in your grief, and continue to grieve in HIM and that's where true healing comes in. Maybe it would be good for you to find a grief counselor? Just to help talk things out regularly. Maybe your school counselor? Counseling is a very very beneficial thing! It has the potential to bring lots of growth and healing. Pray about it.
My prayers are with you.

 

[thepianist]

Tears will come to you at a time when you least expect it - and I'm talking several years down the road from where you are right now. My daddy died seven years ago - my pain is still just as horrible - but not quite as often as it was at the beginning. The Lord is wonderful and you should always turn to him, for He is the true provider of comfort and peace.

There are no set rules for grief, no time lines, just pain on a personal level. No one will look at you funny or think you are weak or anything else. Death is something we all have to confront in our lives. Cherish the memories you do have with your papa. (That's what my daughter calls my daddy) She was only three when he died....she cries because she never really got to know him.

You are in my prayers dear.....and there you will remain because it doesn't go away.

If you want to pm me, feel free to anytime.

 

[LovesToRead]

Hi GuitarChick13,

I'm glad you've shared your sadness here with us and that so many of us can relate to your situation. We are called to bear each other's burdens.

No one will ever replace your precious Papa. I'm happy for you that you had such a special person in your life and I'm sure, from what you wrote, that he must have loved you very much.

I lost my precious father when I was older than you, but still relatively young - I was only 21. It was hard to go around and see other people who were obviously older than my dad, who was only 56 when he died of lung cancer. I didn't say goodbye either. But if I really think about it, I know in my heart my dear dad knew how I felt.

It's very human and also very natural to ask why when someone else is healed and your Papa wasn't. I asked the same questions. Sometimes God just doesn't give us the answer, other than we have to trust Him.

Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. You will always miss him. Remember the special times you had together. I'm sure he knew you loved him and you'd be surprised what people can hear when you don't think they can hear you.

God bless you and thank you again for sharing with us. It was very brave of you to open your heart.

 

[Christdefinesme]

Gutarchick,
How are you doing?
Thinking about you, praying.
Take care.

 

[Pentecostal Boy]

n a since u will never forget. U dont want to. I have had my unfiar share of mourning and it isn't gone after nine years. Not tryin to scare ya. Just saying. Well we all love ya here! GOD BLESS!
*~Pentecostal Boy