I can't find Jesus.

Jesus4Ever said:

I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.

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Jesus4Ever said:

I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.

I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?

Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.


I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.

I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.

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Jesus4Ever said:

I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

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Jesus4Ever said:

I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.

Sure you do, it's right there in your Bible...
Psalm 119:105
"Your Word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."


I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

The Bible say to renew your mind on God's Word and it also says to put
on the full armor of God...bible study on that here:
Acts 17:11 Bible Study: The Full Armor of God
Study and apply it each day.
Our striving with sin will go on as long as we in these "tents of flesh".
When we fail/sin, we repent and get back to doing what is said in Micah 6:8...
Act justly, show mercy and walk humbly with God(my paraphrasing).
Simply...we're to submit ourselves/our will to God each day.

I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?

There are no perfect churches...and there ain't no perfect believers...
the only one who has never sin be Jesus, and he is perfect....all of us sin-
fall short/miss the mark...we are to repent and resume walking humbly
with the Lord.

You can get another believer to baptize you...that's what the Ethiopian
eunuch did...read about it here: Acts 8:26-40.


Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.
In reading your Bible...you will find that Jesus's family members didn't believe him...John 7:5, Mark 3:1-21
Jesus also said this...Matthew 13:57


I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.

What Jesus said was:
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me...Matthew 10: 36-38.


I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.

It is a blessing to try and help a young believer...such time isn't wasted.
Your relationship with Jesus is between you and Him...you can be in a
relationship with Him right where you are...at home, work, in your car,
while out shopping etc.
Follow Jesus, he demonstrated how to love God, love The Word and showed us how to love(agape) others, how to pray.
When you renew your mind on The Word, and walk in agape and meditate
on what you learn about God and The Word, it's going to come out in
conversation, it's going to show up in what you choose to read, in what
type of music you listen to etc.
The Word of God will change you from the inside out.
It don't happen overnight and it can't be forced...you surrender yourself
to the Lord and follow Him...make a regular practice of reading your Bible.
I would suggest this reading plan for a new believer:
The Gospel of John
The Gospel of Mark
I John
II John
III John
Genesis
Ephesians
Galatians
The Gospel of Luke
The Gospel of Matthew
I Corinthians
II Corinthians
Romans
Psalms
Proverb

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