I can't find happiness in God. What am I doing wrong???

SportsJunkie25 · Jul 30, 2009

Hi,

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find happiness in God these days. Reading my Bible doesn't help. Praying doesn't help. Encouraging words from friends doesn't help. Nothing is helping. I just end up waking up sad/lonely and going to sleep sad/lonely. (*I won't list all of the reasons why I feel this way. I'm sure you know what they are from previous posts)

Anyway, what am I doing wrong? I thought God was supposed to bring happiness no matter the circumstances? I don't feel like he is b/c I'm not happy. Not even close. I've tried to change my situation but nothing works. I feel like I'm in the bubble (w/ happy people on the outside), solo, where God keeps torturing me for no reason. If there was a happiness scale (with 10 being the happiest), I'd be about a 2...if that.

I don't mean to sound like a Debbie-Downer but I can't take this anymore. I feel like I'm trying to do everything I'm supposed to do but nothing is working. As the days go by, I just get more and more miserable. What gives?

b.hopeful · Jul 30, 2009

Have you seen a doctor? Is it possible you are depressed?

FWIW...I don't think happiness is dependent on our circumstances. Happiness is based on your internal circumstances..not external ones.

I'm a mom...so forgive my laying it on the line streak,it's what we do.......your posts seem to reflect a person that wants a,b,c...and wants God to make some sort of domino effect where a,b,c comes to you if you merely put one foot in front of the other. You've got to get out there are create your life...create your happiness...those things don't fall into your lap with a bow and a note saying "your welcome, Love God".

SportsJunkie25 · Jul 30, 2009

b.hopeful said:
Have you seen a doctor? Is it possible you are depressed?

FWIW...I don't think happiness is dependent on our circumstances. Happiness is based on your internal circumstances..not external ones.

I'm a mom...so forgive my laying it on the line streak,it's what we do.......your posts seem to reflect a person that wants a,b,c...and wants God to make some sort of domino effect where a,b,c comes to you if you merely put one foot in front of the other. You've got to get out there are create your life...create your happiness...those things don't fall into your lap with a bow and a note saying "your welcome, Love God".

Yes, I would consider myself depressed; situationally depressed. I wasn't depressed before my life went down the toilet. And no, I haven't seen a doctor...I don't have any money.

And yes, you are correct when you say I want a, b, c but when you don't see a way of getting a, b or c...how will you get it? Trust me. I've exhausted every possibility I can think of. In my eyes, you need certain things to attain certain things and quite honestly...I don't have anything...especially money. Get a job? I've tried. With no job, and no money, how am I going to change my life? That's why I've prayed for God to make a way but nothing is happening. Be patient? Its been over 2 years...

Also, you said something about happiness being internal. Yeah, I used to believe that...now, I think a "little external" has something to do with it. Like, how can you be truly happy when you don't have most of the stuff an avg human needs to be happy? For example: a job/career, family, friends, hobbies, etc.

wayfaring man · Jul 30, 2009

Hi ,

I heard of a poll a while back , where the happiest people were sought out regionally , and they were found to be in Holland or the Netherlands . Then it was sought to understand why they were the happiest overall , and what they discovered was that people in that region had low expectations for their immediate situation . In other words they weren't disappointed much , because they didn't expect much , and were thereby content to live simple lives . The study didn't mention this , but I'd like to think the reason they were content with a simple life was because their expectation was with Christ and The Kingdom which will Mightily Manifest at His Glorious Return .

And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. <-----> 1st Timothy 6:8

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; <-----> 1st Peter 2:11

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the right hand of God.
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. <-----> Colossians 3:1-4

May The Lord Bless !

wm

Cody2 · Jul 30, 2009

Keep praying and reading the Bible. When I go through depressing times in my life, I just get on my hands and knees and pour my heart out to God. God wants to speak to us through His word. God wants to hear from us by humble prayers. Sometimes things look so small, when you are in complete love with Christ and just think about all He went through for us on the Cross, He took God's wrath. Look forward to Heaven, there is coming a day when there will be no sorrow and pain(Revelation 21:4), but for now, we must pray without ceasing(1 Thessalonians 5:17) and search the scriptures daily(Acts 17:11).

Nahum 1:7 "The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." KJB

andreha · Jul 30, 2009

SportsJunkie25 said:
Hi,

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find happiness in God these days. Reading my Bible doesn't help. Praying doesn't help. Encouraging words from friends doesn't help. Nothing is helping. I just end up waking up sad/lonely and going to sleep sad/lonely. (*I won't list all of the reasons why I feel this way. I'm sure you know what they are from previous posts)

Anyway, what am I doing wrong? I thought God was supposed to bring happiness no matter the circumstances? I don't feel like he is b/c I'm not happy. Not even close. I've tried to change my situation but nothing works. I feel like I'm in the bubble (w/ happy people on the outside), solo, where God keeps torturing me for no reason. If there was a happiness scale (with 10 being the happiest), I'd be about a 2...if that.

I don't mean to sound like a Debbie-Downer but I can't take this anymore. I feel like I'm trying to do everything I'm supposed to do but nothing is working. As the days go by, I just get more and more miserable. What gives?

Hey

I know what it's like to be ready to give up on life. Suffering in silence is no fun. But remember, things will change. Don't give up hope - a bright new morning will come for you. Ask the Lord to lead you according to His will - don't stop talking to Him. Trials are always temporary - and we are certainly rewarded for sticking close to the Lord during those trials. PM me if you need a shoulder to lean on.

AmeriLovesJesus · Jul 30, 2009

You have some great responses here...

I find at times like this Im searching for God & his happiness through my eyes rather my heart. Once I sit back & snap out of it I find him right there beside me.

I agree dont ever stop talking to him... Talk to him about every single thing!!

SportsJunkie25 · Jul 30, 2009

wayfaring man said:
Hi ,

I heard of a poll a while back , where the happiest people were sought out regionally , and they were found to be in Holland or the Netherlands . Then it was sought to understand why they were the happiest overall , and what they discovered was that people in that region had low expectations for their immediate situation . In other words they weren't disappointed much , because they didn't expect much , and were thereby content to live simple lives . The study didn't mention this , but I'd like to think the reason they were content with a simple life was because their expectation was with Christ and The Kingdom which will Mightily Manifest at His Glorious Return...

That is very, very true. My expectations are too high. Repeatedly, I have been disappointed b/c I believe God is going to answer my prayers, come through for me or open a door. So, with that said, based on past events...my expectations are too high b/c nothing ever happens. So, from now on, I'll be like the Hollanders; I won't have high expectations of God or anyone.

No expectations = No disappointment. Sounds good to me!

wayfaring man · Jul 30, 2009

SportsJunkie25 said:
That is very, very true. My expectations are too high. Repeatedly, I have been disappointed b/c I believe God is going to answer my prayers, come through for me or open a door. So, with that said, based on past events...my expectations are too high b/c nothing ever happens. So, from now on, I'll be like the Hollanders; I won't have high expectations of God or anyone.

No expectations = No disappointment. Sounds good to me!

Hi ,

I think it's better to embrace - no impatient expectations . For surely God has , and does , and will do great things ... only it's not like we don't have to wait on The Lord .

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man sees, why doth he yet hope for?
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. <-----> Romans 8:24+25

wm

iarwain · Jul 30, 2009

SportsJunkie25 said:
I thought God was supposed to bring happiness no matter the circumstances?quote]
I'm not at all sure there is a scriptual basis to this. There is always joy to be found in God, and I believe God will eventually lead us all to happiness. But that doesn't mean that we don't go through some difficult times.

I would look at exactly what is making you unhappy and try to figure out if there is some lesson you could learn from it and if there are any changes you could try to make things better. Good luck to you.

drich0150 · Jul 30, 2009

The key to find true happiness is learning to be content no matter your circumstances. Between this thread and several others you have written I have noticed you place a great value, or lot of your spiritual self worth in what you perceive to be God's performance in your life. The way I have found things to work is, God rarely works in our lives (to the degree you seem to be expecting) before we make some serious changes first. In the way we Love, Think and Act. This almost never has anything to do with the typical religious stuff most people prescribe.. The changes I speak of are very deep, and are triggered by a want or desire for change so that our will and God's will are one and the same. This goal is extremely rarely reached by going through the motions of religious activity. Often times "Religious activity" are the result of those changes, but almost never the cause of them.

Finding true contentment is one of the changes we must make or at least one of the things we must want to change in our lives before the "Spirit" can take a foot hold, and effect real change.

Ask God to help you be content no matter your circumstances, ask Him to help you release the Idea that your spiritual self worth is based on your own perception of his activity in your life. Humbly approach God and ask him to help you change what you need to change in order for you to tap into the Spiritual strength needed to make these changes in your life permanent.

MHMarks · Jul 30, 2009

Give me scripture that says god was supposed to make you happy...and if you take something from Paul's writings....think about what he went through, he wasn't always happy he was joyous.

I'm not going to say what I really want to, but happiness is not always a part of the Christian life, and if thats what you've been told objectively look at the lives of people who really are true Christians. Are people who have to move because God told them happy about moving? prooobably not too much, yet they are happy to serve their Lord. Maybe what you need isn't someone giving you encouraging words, rather a look at your own life to realize that, just like me, you are not worthy of the kingdom of God because you, and I, fail every day. We deserve to be brutally killed just like people in the flood, yet for some reason the Lord doesn't strike us dead. Doesn't that make you happy?

Moondo57 · Jul 30, 2009

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:11-13

Just going along with what others have said about being content no matter the circumstance. Right before this Paul says in Philippians 4:7 that the peace that transcends understanding (our current circumstances) will GUARD your heart and mind though Christ...this is only by presenting our requests before Him with humility and thanksgiving.

I hope you have been doing much better. Praying for ya

b.hopeful · Jul 30, 2009

SportsJunkie25 said:
Yes, I would consider myself depressed; situationally depressed. I wasn't depressed before my life went down the toilet. And no, I haven't seen a doctor...I don't have any money. Look..everyone has situations that create hardships in their life. Happy people are not people that have been handed things. (didn't Sheryl Crow say happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you've got? lol) You don't have money? Do you have a mortgage and kids? Are you about to lose your home and have to find a shelter to take your kids...do you have to explain to them that the family pets have to be given away because the shelter that will take you in won't allow dogs? That is a situation I learned of a few days ago while I was volunteering at our local food bank. If you are broke and struggling...you are not alone.

And yes, you are correct when you say I want a, b, c but when you don't see a way of getting a, b or c...how will you get it? Trust me. I've exhausted every possibility I can think of. In my eyes, you need certain things to attain certain things and quite honestly...I don't have anything...especially money. Get a job? I've tried. With no job, and no money, how am I going to change my life? That's why I've prayed for God to make a way but nothing is happening. Be patient? Its been over 2 years...Take a job you don't like..take one that doesn't pay well...go to a temp agency...and in between, volunteer. You need to get out of yourself...and that happens by giving of yourself. There's no better way to see the gifts and blessings you do have than to walk with the afflicted. You've had some great advice given to you about not waiting for God. God is there...God is always with you...it's like the joke about the man praying to God to win the lottery..over and over and over...and finally,during another prayer to win the lottery...God speaks and says "hey, dude, help me out....buy a ticket."

Also, you said something about happiness being internal. Yeah, I used to believe that...now, I think a "little external" has something to do with it. Like, how can you be truly happy when you don't have most of the stuff an avg human needs to be happy? For example: a job/career, family, friends, hobbies, etc.

I assume you are young...that's not a slam, it's an observation. How do you think you attain the externals? You get out there and bring them into your life. You can't wait around...you can't sit and pray and then walk outside and wait for God to plunk a partner at your feet. Have you ever heard "God, help me survive my blessings"? You may get a partner...and that partner may die...or be debilitated....those are the externals you could be handed...and you need the strength to get through them. If you can't find the strength to deal with your internal....how can you take on externals? What happens if you get friends and they suffer terrible hardships and you are required to give so much and get nothing in return? Children, spouses, inlaws, friends, communities, coworkers.....all of those things tend to require ENORMOUS amounts of giving with little immediate yield. You don't sound ready for that...imo. You sound like you want the perks without the works.

IamGodsProperty · Jul 30, 2009

drich0150 said:
The key to find true happiness is learning to be content no matter your circumstances. Between this thread and several others you have written I have noticed you place a great value, or lot of your spiritual self worth in what you perceive to be God's performance in your life. The way I have found things to work is, God rarely works in our lives (to the degree you seem to be expecting) before we make some serious changes first. In the way we Love, Think and Act. This almost never has anything to do with the typical religious stuff most people prescribe.. The changes I speak of are very deep, and are triggered by a want or desire for change so that our will and God's will are one and the same. This goal is extremely rarely reached by going through the motions of religious activity. Often times "Religious activity" are the result of those changes, but almost never the cause of them.

Finding true contentment is one of the changes we must make or at least one of the things we must want to change in our lives before the "Spirit" can take a foot hold, and effect real change.

Ask God to help you be content no matter your circumstances, ask Him to help you release the Idea that your spiritual self worth is based on your own perception of his activity in your life. Humbly approach God and ask him to help you change what you need to change in order for you to tap into the Spiritual strength needed to make these changes in your life permanent.

May God bless you for giving this very acurate response! So many people get caught up in "religion", and not the true spirit of God. In the the spirit of God is where we find that peace that surpasses all understanding...

PT Calvinist · Jul 30, 2009

Hmm....I don't know what to say other than what you might not want to hear...

John 17:13 reads "Now I am coming to you. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with my joy."

As you may know, Joy is a common theme in Christ's teachings - He wants us to be joyful (John 15:11 & 16:24). The key to immeasurable joy is living in intimate contact with Christ, the source of all joy. When we do, we will experience God's special care and protection and see the victory God brings even when defeat seems certain.

Anyway..have a blessed week.

wonderwaleye · Jul 30, 2009

SportsJunkie25 said:
Hi,

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find happiness in God these days. Reading my Bible doesn't help. Praying doesn't help. Encouraging words from friends doesn't help. Nothing is helping. I just end up waking up sad/lonely and going to sleep sad/lonely. (*I won't list all of the reasons why I feel this way. I'm sure you know what they are from previous posts)

Anyway, what am I doing wrong? I thought God was supposed to bring happiness no matter the circumstances? I don't feel like he is b/c I'm not happy. Not even close. I've tried to change my situation but nothing works. I feel like I'm in the bubble (w/ happy people on the outside), solo, where God keeps torturing me for no reason. If there was a happiness scale (with 10 being the happiest), I'd be about a 2...if that.

I don't mean to sound like a Debbie-Downer but I can't take this anymore. I feel like I'm trying to do everything I'm supposed to do but nothing is working. As the days go by, I just get more and more miserable. What gives?

Sounds to me like you need to become ARMY STRONG!

Get up and GET OUT!

STOP WITH ALL THE EXCUSES!

IT'S TIME YOU BE ALL YOU CAN BE!!!

All we ever see from you FRIEND ( TRUE ) is complaint.

This is from a friend that will tell you the TRUTH.

You need to feel shame for the lack of action on your part.

I wish you were my daughter. You would no longer be the walking dead.

Now I am waiting for your new excuse of just why this wouldn't work.

LOVE

steven

childofGod31 · Jul 30, 2009

SportsJunkie25 said:
Hi,

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find happiness in God these days. Reading my Bible doesn't help. Praying doesn't help. Encouraging words from friends doesn't help. Nothing is helping. I just end up waking up sad/lonely and going to sleep sad/lonely. (*I won't list all of the reasons why I feel this way. I'm sure you know what they are from previous posts)

Anyway, what am I doing wrong? I thought God was supposed to bring happiness no matter the circumstances? I don't feel like he is b/c I'm not happy. Not even close. I've tried to change my situation but nothing works. I feel like I'm in the bubble (w/ happy people on the outside), solo, where God keeps torturing me for no reason. If there was a happiness scale (with 10 being the happiest), I'd be about a 2...if that.

I don't mean to sound like a Debbie-Downer but I can't take this anymore. I feel like I'm trying to do everything I'm supposed to do but nothing is working. As the days go by, I just get more and more miserable. What gives?

I talk to God a lot (in my thoughts). So I got really close to Him. He started talking back to me (through different ways). It's really great, on most days. But some days I just feel miserable. And I was asking God: why? I am close to you, I thought I would get abundant joy all the time? He directed me to read James and Peter which talks about all kinds of sufferings that we are to go through. And a particular verse said: do not consider it strange when you go through trials.

So it's something we have to go through. But sufferings don't come from God. God is not torturing you. He loves us deeply and hurts when we hurt and doesn't like it when we have to go through something (that's what He told me). So I have realized that satan is the one behind all the bad stuff and God is allowing it (for a while) for different reasons. But He is always right and His ways are perfect. If He allows something, there must be a reason, but we usually won't know what it is. There is a big battle for the soul is going on and I assume that you are going through a huge spiritual attack.

The thing to do is to: hand in there, and remember that God is feeling it with you, He is right there with us. No matter what tests we go through or attacks, He is right there. He is there to comfort us when the going gets too touch, to carry us when we can't go on anymore. He knows we have to go through that. But He does whaever He can to be there for us and with us (like a husband who is beside his wife while she is labor, He holds her hand and wipes her brow and encourages her). If there is any way you can believe that, than try to stand on that. (I know it's hard to believe on my miserable days).

Hang in there. Talk to God. Tell Him all about it. He is a shoulder you can cry on. He is always there, listening, guiding. Remember your life before this time, and see if you were helped before. Sometimes it helps to look back to see victories from the past.

This is the song God sent me when I was in one of my miserable days:

What do you do
when you've done all you can
And it seems like it's never enough?
And what do you say
when your friends turn away,
you're all alone?
Tell me, what do you give
When you've given your all,
and seems like
you can't make it through?

Stand and be sure
Be not entangled in that bondage again
You just stand, and be sure.
God has a purpose.
Yes, God has a plan.

Tell me what do you do
when you've done all you can
And it seems like you can't make it through
Child you just stand
You just stand
Stand
Don't you give up
Through the storm , through the rain
Through the hurt , through the pain

[Chorus]
Well, you just stand
When there's nothing left to do
You just stand
Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can
You just stand

Don't you bow, don't bend
Don't give up, don't give in
Hold on, just be strong
God will step in and it won't be long
VERSE
Tell me,
how do you handle the guilt of your past?
Tell me, how do you deal with the shame?
And how can you smile
when your heart is broken
and filled with pain?
Tell me what do you give
when you've given your all
Seems like you can't make it through?

After you've done all you can
After you've gone through the hurt
After you've gone through the pain
After you've gone through the storm
After you've gone through the rain
Prayed and cried,you've prayed and cried
Prayed and cried, prayed and cried
After you've done all you can, you just stand.

Child you just stand,
when there's nothing left to do
You just stand
Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can
You just stand.

and here is another one:

YouTube - Overflow - Cry On My Shoulder (with Lyrics)

CALL ON HIM! ASK HIM TO COME AND HELP YOU AND TO GUIDE YOU!

SportsJunkie25 · Jul 30, 2009

Thank you guys for all the inspirational words; I'm trying to keep it together over here!

wonderwaleye said:
Sounds to me like you need to become ARMY STRONG!

Get up and GET OUT!

STOP WITH ALL THE EXCUSES!

IT'S TIME YOU BE ALL YOU CAN BE!!!

All we ever see from you FRIEND ( TRUE ) is complaint.

This is from a friend that will tell you the TRUTH.

You need to feel shame for the lack of action on your part.

I wish you were my daughter. You would no longer be the walking dead.

Now I am waiting for your new excuse of just why this wouldn't work.

LOVE

steven

As for you, let me just say you don't know what I'm going through. Despite the fact that you think I'm just sitting here "twiddling my thumbs" in hopes of greatness to fall from the sky; that's not the case. This has been an ongoing battle and anyone who knows all of the details, can 100% see why I'm frustrated. I consider myself really resourceful and can always (well, in the past) think of some type of action to change my situations. I don't just around and "wish" things were different; I take action. The fact that I'm "complaing' on CF means, I've exhausted all of my options. I just want to hear from other people have to say, who've been in similar situations. Obviously, you haven't, and you can't relate to me, so your responses aren't really helping me.

With that said, I feel like continuing this response anyway. To me, it seems like it's very easy for you to judge people (not just me, everyone you respond to on CF) and tell them to pretty much, "...just believe"! Well, I do believe, I am living right, I am reading my Bible, I am going to church every Sunday, I am seeking a deeper relationship with God, I am...pretty much doing everything I can to keep it together over here. And for you to come on here and respond with such ridiculousness is, ridiculous.

I've spared you guys the details, as to why I feel this way, so trust me when I say I've exhausted all of my options and don't know what to do anymore. All of my friends know this - including my friends on CF I've shared further details with. My friends don't tell me, "Dang! I don't see how you're still going. I would have given up a long time ago; this is a testament to your faith!" just to make conversation; it's true.

So, if you don't need anything but air to breath, to be happy, then kudos to you. You're a better person than I am. That's a nice "Christian" way to be but unfortunately, I am not there yet. I'm not aware of very many people who are that way, either. But, according to your judgemental posts, I'm assuming you're that way. Kudos to you!

**I responded in length so anyone else who thinks I'm "just complaining" can toss that thought to the side. That's definitely not the case.

SportsJunkie25 · Jul 30, 2009

Edit: What I meant to say in the above post, instead of you insenuating that people should "...just believe", is that you pretty much tell us that we're bad Chrisitians...we need to do better and it's our fault we have problems. Really? (<--apparently, I like using that icon when I'm referring to you.)

Anyway, that's it. I'm finished.

I can't find happiness in God. What am I doing wrong???

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