I call her "Bitey."

[katelyn]

What do you do when your 15-month old starts biting her older sibling whenever there's a conflict? (She's done it 3 times in the past 2 days.) The older one is crying and needs attention, but somehow the younger must learn biting is not okay.

p.s. We don't spank.

 

[RedTulipMom]

thankfully i havent had to deal with a biter, and hopefully never will. What i would do is immediately take the biter and get them into a place away from the other child and talk to them explaining that biting hurts. i would keep my eyes open, try catching them ABOUT to bite and pull them away. Teach them a word to say rather than to bite if they want something. I imagine someone else has better advice, its hard to give advice without personal experience. ill be interested in seeing the answers myself.

 

[rocklife]

when I became a christian, I heard pastors and other christian parents talk about discipline, and they even taught about spanking, so I followed that carefully. I spank immediately and discretely for negative behavior, then talk to them why it's wrong and what to do. when/if they do it again, I do the same thing again, sometimes adding another punishment like no playing with other kids that much the rest of the week or something like that.

 

[Pinki]

Time out? Isolation? They would be my non-smacking suggestions.

Also, give a very clear verbal message - something like "Ouch - biting hurts. No biting" when you put her in time out.

 

[katelyn]

Well, Natalie (3) seems to have learned how to anticipate when Noelle is going to bite, and we've tried to be extra-observant, too. So getting sternly told, "No bite!" by all members of the family has helped. However, she seems to be teething so she is very tempted to bite. But she does seem to be learning. Thanks!

 

[seamonster]

My son is doing this, too, and it's really difficult for me! The only suggestions I have gotten from people are spanking, but I really think he's too young to even consider that. I just pull him away and say "no," but he thinks it's funny. I have noticed that when he bites or does other things he's not supposed to, it's because he's ready to eat or needs attention...

 

[Leanna]

I have noticed that when he bites or does other things he's not supposed to, it's because he's ready to eat or needs attention...

I haven't had a biter yet (cross fingers??) but this is a good observation.... even my 3 year old tends to do things he's not supposed to when he's hungry or tired.... if I keep the tank filled he makes many more wise decisions.

 

[Hadassah]

my mom had a real problem with my younger sister at about the age you say yours is. For some reason my sister thought biting was the only out she had to "defend" her want over what my brother and I would do, and she'd leave marks that would last a day or more.

Mom tried everything from spanking to 'whatever' and nothing worked... until...

One day she got this 'idea' to make my sister bite herself (after mom had also been bitten a few times) and see what she thought of that.

When sister went to bite my mom, she told her "hey, bite yourself if you're that mad!" and my sister, as ornery and stubborn as she was did... and looked at my mom like "Hey, no big deal!"... so mom said "harder!" and until sister did that and it hurt... and crocodile tears came, she just didn't grasp the concept.

For some reason my sister did not until that point connect that biting = pain. We think it had something to do with the fact she was sick all the time and always on medication, but we aren't certain even to this day why she didn't understand that before. It took her biting herself and realizing "OW THAT HURTS!" before she ever apologized to any of us, or quit doing it.


Now I'd definitely not reccommend it to most, but if absolutely nothing is getting through, then for some reason they aren't connecting the pain aspect, which isn't good... and until they do, it likely won't stop.