I broke up with her...

[GrahamAtPikeville]

A few weeks ago I started a thread called "Dating a non-Christian, in love with a Christian". My non-Christian girlfriend and I broke up last night, after a long discussion. It really hurts now, and I kind of want her back... but I have faith that God will carry me through these hard times. It's like the classical inspirational message says: "When you saw only set of footprints, it was then my child, that I carried you." Thank you, to everyone who posted and prayed for me.

 

[usatxmom]

Thinking about you.

 

[susan@pc]

Hello Graham. I'll bet you didn't expect to receive a msg from me, huh? But after reading what you posted, I could not just sit idle. Since you are keeping names out of all this, I will proceed to call your now ex-girlfriend, X, and the girl that you have always, really wanted, I will call her H.
First and foremost, let me introduce myself to everyone. My name is Susan, and I attend college with Graham. I guess we've been friends since early last semester. I also happen to be one of X's best friends, and I am a Christian.
When you, Graham, first broke up with X (ya know, the first time) I was understanding of your reasons. I could see where you were coming from. I wasn't mad at you for it. The second time that you attempted to break up with her I was getting a little frustrated with you because by tugging her back and forth, you were hurting her more. And then X attempted to break up with you. What did you do? You told her that wasn't what you wanted. So you agreed to make it work. Only TWO DAYS later, you broke up with her. Correct me if I am mistaken, but it seems to me that if anyone was breaking it off, you wanted it to be you. And now that you are broken up, you continue to msg her (hurting her) all the while pursuing H. Now tell me, is that Christian-like?
You made this an issue about X not being a Christian, when you knew from the beginning that she wasn't. This girl struggles with the issue of being saved. I had told you that you couldn't push this on her. It causes her to back away. I happen to have great respect for X simply for not saying the prayer just because you wanted her to. It seems to me that you wanted her to be saved in order to relieve your conscience. But if she does it for the wrong reasons, then it isn't real.
I am fine with the fact that you broke up with her. However, I do not care for the manner in which you proceeded to do so. You should have come to a strict decision before approaching her with it. By not doing so, you hurt her unnecessarily. Another thing... You used this excuse of her not being a Christian to justify you being with her while loving someone else. Christian or not... if you are in love with someone else then DO NOT stay with the other girl and especially DO NOT tell that girl that you love her. That is just cruel and wrong on so many different levels.
My advice to you, Graham, stay away from my friend. Don't msg her, don't call her. Can you not see how much you hurt her? How much you are still hurting her. And one more thing, we all know about your pursuit of H. And my roommate and I know that it had been going on before you dated X. But I don't think X is aware of that, well until she found your posting. But anyway, don't flaunt your "love" for H in front of X. She doesn't need to be hurt anymore. Just let her move on from you and heal.
And I ask that everyone please pray for this girl. This is the second time she has attempted to be with a Christian guy, and it has ended badly both times. I am afraid that this is pushing her farther from God. She needs to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but only for the right reasons. And I am sorry if I sounded cruel to you, Graham, but I can't help for feeling angry and disappointed with you. You know us all well enough to know that if you hurt one of us, you hurt us all. Have a nice life. Good luck with H.

 

[barbiewk]

one thing about christianity that i think people have failed to remember is forgiveness. and trust, perhaps you should trust his reasonings and his explanations more so than just jumping to conclusions that make him seem like the bad guy just because your friend is mad at him for breaking up with her, which is what it seems like is going on. if that's not the case, i'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that your intentions were good, that your'e not willing to give graham. H does not exist, and if you took the time to really listen to him, really listen and care, you would know that she doesn't. x is all he's thought about lately,so please be more considerate when you accuse people because that causes hurt feelings. and if i hurt yours, please accept my appologies, but i don't want you to go around getting the wrong picture about things in the future.

 

[susan@pc]

Barbie,
I understand and appreciate your reply. As his friend, I think it only right that you take up for him and try to make things more clear. However, you must also understand where I am coming from. It seemed to me that X was looking like the bad person when, despite being unsaved, she is one of the best girls anyone could ever me. And she is one of my best friends, and so, naturally I am going to defend her. I have always liked Graham and through all of this I had kept a cool head about it. What made me angry was learning of this posting. He managed to hurt X once again, granted, this time without knowing she would find it. The fact that she did find it shows how much she has been thinking about this lately. I mean she found it at 4am because she couldn't sleep.
Just yesterday, I told my roommate that I was going to give Graham the benefit of the doubt over this whole thing and believe that his confessed reason was true and was the only reason. But how can you say that H doesn't exist when on his own posting he said he was in love with another girl? We all know that he has feelings for this girl, and he admitted himself, on a public forum. I'm not faulting him for that. People change, feelings change... relationships don't work out. Both Graham and X will move on. I also realize that he is having a hard time with this, too. It is not just X. But he is making it worse than it has to be.
I'm sorry if I appeared to be jumping to conclusions, or if in fact, I did jump to the wrong conclusions. I will not hold hard feelings against Graham. I can understand him wanting a Christian girlfriend. But, cut me some slack, X is my girl. And I have to watch her hurting and that hurts me. I'm not asking him to take back his decision. I'm not asking him to apologize. I am not even asking him to not follow his heart with whatever girl he wants. The only thing I wish is that he will not cause any more unnecessary hurt to X. She is really struggling, not only with the breakup, but with the salvation issue. This is hard on her, and I'm seeing that. He's not.

 

[tnm70]

Hey, I am only 13 years old. I do know that as a child, I do not know much about the Bible and what God considers to be a Christian. To me, anyone who believes in God and has strong faith in him, is a Christian. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I was born for a reason, my grandfather died for a reason, I say things for a reason, and everything that happens God has planned out for us - somewhat like a blueprint of our lives. I may not know much about being Saved and Beliefs (according to the Bible), but I do know my sister. 'X' may not be the most perfect person in this world, Graham. She may not say the nicest things at certain times, she may not want to so affection all the time, but in my eyes she is as close to being perfect there is. No, my sister is not Saved, therefore to you that may mean she isn't a Christian. ...Everything happens for a reason, Graham. You met my sister for a reason. Maybe it was to help her be led to God - maybe? Though I do know that it wasn't to lead her on a bunch of times, then break it off. If religion was such a strong need to you in the first place...why didn't you bring this up to her in December? I may not know everything that has happened...but I do know my sister. and I love her.
And I'm not going to let someone hurt her because I Love Her. Just think of the real reason you've broke up with her. Is it what God wants, or is it what you want...?

 

[pete56]

Graham, Susan, Barbie and Tnm

For God's sake PEACE!!!

Let this relationship go and allow the hearts to heal.

Please no more public (or private) squabling.

May God bless you ALL

And may God bring healing to your hearts and lives

Pete

 

[susan@pc]

I agree with Pete. The squabling has to stop. I honestly didn't mean to start anything when I posted that opinion. I just felt that I should defend my friend. At this point it doesn't matter if "H" is real or not. Graham and X are real, and they are both hurting. All anyone can do is allow God and time to do their work in the healing process. I wish the best for Graham and X, and I want God's will for them whatever that may be. God bless you all. I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

Susan