I am Struggling with Sexual Immorality

[norak]

I am in my late 20s now and struggle with sexual immorality or fornication. In the past I lived a lifestyle that involved visits to brothels and casual sex. One day I started to worry that maybe my sinful lifestyle would result in me being HIV positive. I immediately practiced abstinence and went to the doctor to get a full STD test. Thankfully I am negative for everything and am perfectly clean. I have asked for forgiveness and have vowed never to visit a brothel again or to have sex before marriage.

But I still struggle. When I take the train home from work, the train station where I get off is situated next to four brothels all within walking distance, and the temptation for me to simply walk to one of them--especially after a stressful day at work--is so great.

I still touch and look at pornography regularly. I feel like I need to touch to curb my sexual desires and prevent me from having actual sex with a prostitute. I find that it is difficult for me to climax without looking at pornography, and right after I touch I feel lonely and embarrassed at myself.

What do you think I should do going forward? Should I continue to touch to prevent myself from going to brothels? Should I try to get married as soon as possible?

 

[LifebyChrist]

This is quite sad. The problem with the prostitution is that she does not really love you or care about you, she is just trying to make money.

Your hard earned money is rewarding sin basically, and people wonder why wicked people thrive it is because of little things that add up to bigger things.

Also if you have to look at porn to climax then you do not have sperm build up, if you stop looking at porn and stop having lustful thoughts it usually discharges at night. This is a very hard and addictive sin and it will take alot to set you free from it. You will need the help of Jesus Christ.

Some things you can try to do is keep your thought life in check, you asked if you should try to get married, yeah you should but it should be for love and not just for sex.

1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

Like gravity, the world will try to bring you down but just remember deep within your soul that you have Christ and never forget that.

John 7:38 "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

You are a man of God, be free from this and do all you can to live proper for God, do not give up, yes it is not easy but do not give up. Perservere.

Ecclesiates 2:24 "A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God,"

It may help you to find something to occupy your time so you do not get bored and become more prone to tempation. Having a Bible reading session and organization helps, what really helps is to hang out with groups of people. You cannot do these things as easily if your in a crowd.

 

[help_the_lord]

I know from experience that the only way to remove sexuality immorality out from your life is to remove it completely in one clean sweep.. as for the touching yourself with porn thing.. try not masterbating at all.. eventually your thoughts will clean themselves and this will no longer be an issue.. trust me this is all coming from experience

 

[Jazer]

Should I try to get married as soon as possible?

You should get your lust under control before you get married, because it maybe even more difficult to control after you get married. Paul says to walk in the Spirit and not in the Flesh.

 

[Britg89]

I am in my late 20s now and struggle with sexual immorality or fornication. In the past I lived a lifestyle that involved visits to brothels and casual sex. One day I started to worry that maybe my sinful lifestyle would result in me being HIV positive. I immediately practiced abstinence and went to the doctor to get a full STD test. Thankfully I am negative for everything and am perfectly clean. I have asked for forgiveness and have vowed never to visit a brothel again or to have sex before marriage.

But I still struggle. When I take the train home from work, the train station where I get off is situated next to four brothels all within walking distance, and the temptation for me to simply walk to one of them--especially after a stressful day at work--is so great.

I still touch and look at pornography regularly. I feel like I need to touch to curb my sexual desires and prevent me from having actual sex with a prostitute. I find that it is difficult for me to climax without looking at pornography, and right after I touch I feel lonely and embarrassed at myself.

What do you think I should do going forward? Should I continue to touch to prevent myself from going to brothels? Should I try to get married as soon as possible?

Well, my view on this, just as i answer the person who asked why people think christians are very judgemental is: I find it hard to understand how christians can be so condeming when so many in the bible sinned just as people today did. I'm not justifying what patriarchs did in the bible, I will say that they all repentend and lived in pagan cultures, that doesn't justify what they did-God sees the heart, and as long as we desire to follow him in ALL his ways, and be purified by him, he forgives our struggles and will bring us into perfection. I think that's something christians don't understand. If someone struggles for instance, with homosexuality, but loves the Lord, who am I to condemn them?! the founding fathers in the bible commited adlutery, murder, etc, yet they repented of their struggles and God forgave them, even in the midst of struggles. So who do we think we are to condemn? now correct is a different story, we should point out their errors, but to condemn them to hell is not our place. If we take that approuch, we may as well rip out the majority of books in our bibles. Be encourage to go further in righteousness. Just think about your future spouse and how they would feel about all this.

 

[Johnnz]

Images and immoral sexual sexual encounters have become associated with sexual arousal and relief for you. That will take some undoing. It is not an easy process as you still have a natural sex drive to live with. That is not going to go away.

Feel free to PM me is you want to discuss any issues.

John
NZ

 

[Christopher0121]

Don't try to DO better. You can't. God doesn't want you to be a better YOU. Allow your identity to die and reckon yourself as being dead in Christ. Then allow His identity to flow into you, living His live out through you. Don't try to DO... surrender and BE an extension of Christ Himself. Your victory is in Him and your oneness with Him through the Holy Spirit. Victory isn't acheived through trying harder to be better.

 

[truthHurts77]

I am in my late 20s now and struggle with sexual immorality or fornication. In the past I lived a lifestyle that involved visits to brothels and casual sex. One day I started to worry that maybe my sinful lifestyle would result in me being HIV positive. I immediately practiced abstinence and went to the doctor to get a full STD test. Thankfully I am negative for everything and am perfectly clean. I have asked for forgiveness and have vowed never to visit a brothel again or to have sex before marriage.

But I still struggle. When I take the train home from work, the train station where I get off is situated next to four brothels all within walking distance, and the temptation for me to simply walk to one of them--especially after a stressful day at work--is so great.

I still touch and look at pornography regularly. I feel like I need to touch to curb my sexual desires and prevent me from having actual sex with a prostitute. I find that it is difficult for me to climax without looking at pornography, and right after I touch I feel lonely and embarrassed at myself.

What do you think I should do going forward? Should I continue to touch to prevent myself from going to brothels? Should I try to get married as soon as possible?

it is a mortal sin to touch

i have lived alone for a long time & i know how you struggle. Women are no different from men when it comes to strong physical desires. But i have not committed this sin in many years because i know how it separates me from Jesus. I love Jesus and HE is the only way to Heaven so i refuse to be tempted to do this sin again.

i hate when someone says i can sin and then ask 4 forgiveness. BAD ADVICE!!!!! Sin causes your soul to undergo changes... causes the soul to become ugly. It takes a lot of prayer and penance b4 you get back the graces lost through this sin and other mortal sins.

don't take the advice of humans who encourage you to take this sin lightly. I know from experience that it separates me from Jesus which means it separates me from salvation

 

[Johnnz]

I admire your devotion, but not your doctrine. People need encouragement for their journey, not higher fences to traverse, however valid a principle might be.

John
NZ

 

[truthHurts77]

I admire your devotion, but not your doctrine. People need encouragement for their journey, not higher fences to traverse, however valid a principle might be.

John
NZ

well, Who are you to say waht people need?

people need the truth and the truth is that masturbation is a mortal sin thatseparates us from Jesus.

i know because ther have been times when i was very close to Him and i ruined through... just allowing myself to continue to feel aroused, not even DOING the whole thing...

so ... you can belive that nothing changes between you and Christ w/ this sin and i will believe... reality

 

[truthHurts77]

hmmm... no one is arguing w/ me about masturbation being a mortal sin

very strange...

i guess people aren't in the mood tobe wrong...

 

[mjmcmillan]

hmmm... no one is arguing w/ me about masturbation being a mortal sin

very strange...

i guess people aren't in the mood tobe wrong...

Just for the sake of argument, and because I happen to have it on good authority that a number of things are declared to be sins without scriptural backing--- can you produce the scriptures that say masturbation is a mortal sin? Now, I'm not interested in "Pope soandso said"-- I want scripture.

We have to be careful in these things, that we're not becoming like the Pharisees and adding onto scripture stuff that just isn't there. Traditional teachings that don't have scriptural backing could very well be wrong.

A case in point: The denomination I belong to says it's a sin to drink any alcohol. In fact, there's no scriptural support for that teaching, the sin isn't in drinking but rather in being a drunkard. It's also a sin to commit gluttony, but nobody says we sin by eating.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I'll make it a trifle easier, by providing the link below. Even then, please note that Scripture doesn't say masturbation is a mortal sin, the RC church does.

One of our other fellows here did some research and found something in Leviticus that bears on the subject, in fact it's the only thing he could find in scripture on it. The scripture says that if the man has an emission, he is to wash himself and he will be unclean until evening. That's it, that's all he was able to find. I'll have to do some digging myself to find that one (I do remember it being there) but so far it seems that teaching that masturbation is a mortal sin is a tradition of the church and is not actually found in scripture.

What is a Mortal Sin?

 

[Eastern Drifter]

You aren't alone. Pornography has infiltrated most every structure of society; to live in society is to constantly be bombarded by it in one form or another.

Yet, at the same time, it's a reason, but never an excuse.

I will embrace vulnerability and admit to everyone reading this thread that I crack and view pornography from time to time. And after the high is over, I can literally feel that the Holy Spirit has distanced Himself from me. All that remains is a storm of excuses, apathy, and that certain hollowness that comes when drinking from the cup of the world.

 

[steve_bakr]

I am in my late 20s now and struggle with sexual immorality or fornication. In the past I lived a lifestyle that involved visits to brothels and casual sex. One day I started to worry that maybe my sinful lifestyle would result in me being HIV positive. I immediately practiced abstinence and went to the doctor to get a full STD test. Thankfully I am negative for everything and am perfectly clean. I have asked for forgiveness and have vowed never to visit a brothel again or to have sex before marriage.

But I still struggle. When I take the train home from work, the train station where I get off is situated next to four brothels all within walking distance, and the temptation for me to simply walk to one of them--especially after a stressful day at work--is so great.

I still touch and look at pornography regularly. I feel like I need to touch to curb my sexual desires and prevent me from having actual sex with a prostitute. I find that it is difficult for me to climax without looking at pornography, and right after I touch I feel lonely and embarrassed at myself.

What do you think I should do going forward? Should I continue to touch to prevent myself from going to brothels? Should I try to get married as soon as possible?

Greetings,

I know this must sound severe or even impossible, but my advice to you is to stop masturbating. Make a vow to yourself and if/when you break it, confess and repent according to the dictates of your religion, and retake your vow.

Peace

"The heavens declare the glory of the Lord" (Psalms 19:2a)

 

[steve_bakr]

hmmm... no one is arguing w/ me about masturbation being a mortal sin

very strange...

i guess people aren't in the mood tobe wrong...

Hi,

I don't disagree about masturbation being a mortal sin, but if I remember the CCC correctly, there are mitigating factors that lessen or even remove culpability.

Peace

"The heavens declare the glory of the Lord" (Psalms 19:2a)

 

[gooddolphins1901]

Hello Brother! I Think We All Struggle With Sexual Sins Because God Created Us As Sexual Beings. Paul States Its Better To Marry Than To Burn With Sexual Desires. Although In Picking A Mate You Want To Pick Another Christian That Puts Sexual Purity First Before Marriage. In This Day And Age There Are People That State Theyre Christians But See Nothing Wrong With Premarital Sex. The Bible States Clearly That Fornification (sex Outside Of Marriage) Is Wrong And Adultry Is Wrong. Jesus Also States If You Even Look On Another Woman Sexually That Youre Guilty Of A Sexual Sin. So To Answer Your Question About Masturbating And Porn. It Would Be Wrong To touch Or Look At Porn. Love You Brother And God Bless.

 

[waves]

You have to subject your thoughts to Jesus Christ


2 Corinthians 10 verses 3-5

[3] For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
[4] (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
[5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ

Notice that we are to cast down imaginations and bring every thought to the obedience of Jesus Christ. So ensure that you are purposely thinking the right things, don't allow your mind to wander or to become empty.

Philippians 4 verse 4

[4] Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
[5] Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
[6] Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
[7] And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
[8] Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
[9] Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Whenever you have a thought that is contrary to the word, use the word of God like what Jesus did when Satan tempted him so for example if a lustful thought comes to your mind say, 'Because I am in Jesus Christ I have crucified the flesh with all it's affections and lust.' You can also think this scripture in your mind as well over and over again.


Galatians 5 verse 24

[24] And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.



If you are thinking angry hateful thoughts say 'Although I am angry I will not let the sun go down on my wrath'


Ephesians 4 verse 26

[26] Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:


If you are feeling sad, thinking depressing thoughts, say 'This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.


Psalms 118 verse 24

1. [24] This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

I use to wake up every morning in a bad mood and what God told me to do every morning is to say 'This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it'. About 2 weeks after this I noticed I wasn't in a bad mood as before.

The word of God is quick and powerful, sharper than any two edged sword


Hebrews 4 verse 12

[12] For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

So bring all your thoughts subject to Jesus Christ, when a bad thought comes to your mind speak a bible scripture that is relevant to the thought you are having. Repeat the particular scripture as often as you need it.


There is a book by Joyce Meyer named 'Battlefield Of the Mind' which I think will be helpful to you.

 

[sevenmsw]

All the pornographic images you look at are registered in your mind. Eventually they will cluster and cause real life compulsions. Pornography can cause Demonic Oppression. Pornography is much more dangerous than people say. Try to stop looking at pornography at least. Having a wife may be helpful but you need to fill yourself with the spirit first. God Bless!

 

[Island66]

Norak,

I just stumbled on this and I see that it has been over a year since you posted. I hope that you have been able to get some control over this sin but if not, let me say that you are not alone. I too have struggled with sexual immorality in much the same way and still do to some extent. I have read many of the responses to your post and there is a good amount of wisdom here and hopefully I can add some more.

My struggle was with Massage Parlours (MP) and even though I did not have sex with the girls, I might as well have because the sessions always ended in my [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. I started going to the parlours over 20 years ago and I finally stopped when I accepted Christ (7 years ago). It was so easy to stop and eliminate that from my life but 2 years later, I started thinking about it again when I heard and wondered about the new service that they now provide called “Body Slide” (BS). When I used to go there, the highlighted service was called “Nude Reverse” which allowed me to massage her while we are both totally nude but now the massage attendant would actually slide her body up and down my back as well as my front. And then to make it even more interesting, the girls got creative on the many positions I could be in for the final “release”. I hope Im not being too descriptive with this post but there is a point.

Anyway, after thinking about it for some time, I decided to try the BS and then I was hooked. Five years later, I was still hooked even though I had periods of abstinence but just like you, I chose to touch as a way to control my desire for the female interaction. The frequency of visits ranged from twice per week to once per 3 months depending on how long masturbation sustained me. This was a serious battle man! At times I would make appointments and then find the strength to cancel. I would drive up to the place and then chicken out and drive away. I would promise never to do it again and end up back there days later and I wont get into the amount of money I wasted. I prayed and prayed and prayed for the strength and/or wisdom to end this battle but continued in it. I should tell you that I have been single since accepting Christ and I have resolved not to have sex unless Im married but I somehow justified this act because I was not actually having sexual intercourse…like that mattered!

James 1:14-15 says:
“but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

These verses tell me that we create our own temptations and it starts with our thoughts. For me, each time I thought about sex, I thought about the MPs which is like the conception phase. That “thought” turned into a plan (birth) and then the plan was executed. You see, it all started and was played out in my mind before it even happened.

Masturbation is self-gratification or self sex. I do not have strong scriptural backing but an argument can be made that the act of sex was a gift for man and his wife. In our case, since you and I both visualize women who are not our wives when we take part in this act, that alone should tell us that it is sexual sin as Jesus said on the Sermon on the Mount when he spoke about adultery (Mat 5:28) so I don’t think we need to go any further than that when wondering about the legitimacy of masturbation. Another point I will make about masturbation is that it did NOT help me control my desire but secretly fueled it. Yes, masturbation temporarily sustained me but each time I gave into this lie and masturbated, it made me crave a women’s touch all the more until masturbation was not enough to satisfy my craving, hence another visit.

I have asked, listened and tried several methods that people suggested to eliminate this habitual sin from my life to no avail. They make it sound so easy…do this, do that…but nothing worked. I have learned that what worked for others may not necessarily work for me because we all respond to different stimuli and we all have our own path to God. I don’t think that anyone can give you the exact formula on how to beat this sin but I offer you this one truth; Spiritual Warfare is very real and it takes place in the mind. Once I became intentional about controlling my thoughts or at least diverting my thoughts when I began to think about sex, it helped me to have victory. Meditating on Mat 5:28 and James1:14-15 also helped and lastly, praying when I am/was weak was also an essential element because I could not do it in my own strength. This is what leads to true repentance.

It has only been 1 month since I have masturbated or been to a Massage Parlour and that is because I have been very successful in diverting my thoughts. The times that I struggle the most now are when I allow my thoughts to last more than 2 seconds. During these times when I begin to lose control, I immediately pray and ask God for His strength to flow thru and sustain me and that always works. I don’t stare at women and anymore. I apply this method to that as well. Im intentional about quickly looking away as soon as I realize that my gaze is landing on a woman’s chest or her butt.

It is too soon to say that I have conquered this sin but I am very happy with the victory that I have had over the past month and Im confident that it will continue so long as I stay focused. I hope this is helpful and Im curious to know how you are doing now?

Philemon 1:6 - I pray that the sharing of our faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.