i am so broken.

[m0eseph]

the one person i am in love with just walked out of my life. i am so torn. i dont want anything else. i dont want anyone else. all i want is things to be better. i keep asking god to let me go back in time and fix the things i did to him. why is god taking the most ultimate thing i love in life. i feel somewhat betrayed. god promised me him. god put the desire i have for bryce inside me. why is he taking him away. i dont want to get out of bed. i dont want to do anyhting. i didnt want to even write this, but im so broken and i need someone to talk to. i dont want to go the rest of my life without bryce. ive never loved someone so hard. so purely. god put the love i have for bryce inside me. bryce says he doesnt know what love is outside of the love of god. and thats why he must go. why cant he see that i love him to death. he said that maybe one day we will start talking again. all i do is cry day and night. there isnt a single moment that im not in pain. i just want to know its possible for god to bring him back to me. last night i dreamed that bryce died. and i showed up at his house in a wedding dress. his parents opened the door, and i just fell to my knees and cried. and then sometime in the dream i found that bryce wasnt dead anymore. i found him and we ran to each other in open arms. we then married. then he had doubts and woulg go away from me multiple times. and after several times, he finally came back to me and told me he loved me. and we spent the rest of our lives together. happy. i won his heart in the end. and im hoping this is god telling me to hold on. i just want to know its possible that god will bring us back together again.

 

[m0eseph]

i feel like people on here dont care.

 

[briareos]

Dear friend,

Take time, pains heal in time, pray for your loved one, keep him in your prayers and pray that if God will it, that he would return to you. We cannot control people, I will be praying for you. I am sorry to hear that you are going through something so hard, I cannot imagine the sorrow and pain that you feel. I have mad moment where I almost lost my love and it was a fear and dread that I cannot explain. I am so so sorry.

Please hang in there and do not give up on yourself, lets pray that good would come of this and pray that your love would be restored.

 

[briareos]

Dear Father God,

I hold up my dear friend before you and her love Bryce. I pray that you reach down and touch her wounded and crushed heart, that you help her in her time of need. I know that she loves you and that you said that if we love you that all things work together for our good. I pray that you be with her right now and let her feel you like she never has before, that you would bring comfort and peace and that you would restore her love to her. God I do not know whether or not Bryce will return and I do not know all that the future holds for her but you do, and Lord in your great power and mercy I pray that you restore her wounded heart and that you help her right now, that you would wipe the tears from her eyes and from her face, that you would take her in your everlasting loving arms and give her peace beyond understanding as you promised in your word, though all people may forsake us and fail us, you never ever will.
I pray this in Jesus name.

Be blessed my dear friend, you are not alone, no matter how dark your time feels, you are not alone.

 

[enoch dee]

Psalm 30
New International Version (NIV)
Psalm 30

Psalm 30[a]

A psalm. A song. For the dedication of the temple. Of David.
1 I will exalt you, LORD,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
2 LORD my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
3 You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.

4 Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6 When I felt secure, I said,
“I will never be shaken.”
7 LORD, when you favored me,
you made my royal mountain[c] stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.

8 To you, LORD, I called;
to the Lord I cried for mercy:
9 “What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, LORD, and be merciful to me;
LORD, be my help.”

11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
JUST SPEAK TO JESUS,HE IS WAITING TO LISTEN AND ANSWER.

 

[heron]

Hi Moeseph, so sorry to hear about your break-up loss. Losing a relationship like that is so much like mourning a loss of life.

But the hard thing, is that our brains keep trying to fix it, to figure out what we need to do to make it right again. We see the pinpoint of hope that keeps emotions from resolving.

He surely had mixed feelings during this decision, so you can still appreciate the good parts of the relationship, and reflect on the memories. Enjoy what you had, and think about what was dear to you.

Allow yourself time to sleep and cry. You have been through a lot.

last night i dreamed that bryce died. and i showed up at his house in a wedding dress. his parents opened the door, and i just fell to my knees and cried.

 

[briareos]

Heron,

Thanks for being who and what you are, faithful, after all these years. I think many will testify for you on that great day.

 

[BFine]

the one person i am in love with just walked out of my life. i am so torn. i dont want anything else. i dont want anyone else. all i want is things to be better. i keep asking god to let me go back in time and fix the things i did to him. why is god taking the most ultimate thing i love in life. i feel somewhat betrayed. god promised me him. god put the desire i have for bryce inside me. why is he taking him away. i dont want to get out of bed. i dont want to do anyhting. i didnt want to even write this, but im so broken and i need someone to talk to. i dont want to go the rest of my life without bryce. ive never loved someone so hard. so purely. god put the love i have for bryce inside me. bryce says he doesnt know what love is outside of the love of god. and thats why he must go. why cant he see that i love him to death. he said that maybe one day we will start talking again. all i do is cry day and night. there isnt a single moment that im not in pain. i just want to know its possible for god to bring him back to me. last night i dreamed that bryce died. and i showed up at his house in a wedding dress. his parents opened the door, and i just fell to my knees and cried. and then sometime in the dream i found that bryce wasnt dead anymore. i found him and we ran to each other in open arms. we then married. then he had doubts and woulg go away from me multiple times. and after several times, he finally came back to me and told me he loved me. and we spent the rest of our lives together. happy. i won his heart in the end. and im hoping this is god telling me to hold on. i just want to know its possible that god will bring us back together again.

*I am so sorry you are so grieved, I want you to know that first and foremost.

Next...
I have highlighted some sentences in your post.
Read over them carefully.

Honestly...
I don't know what was promised to you but I do know that no one should be come like an "idol" in your life.(note the sentences I highlighted.)

People are flawed and we do sin.
Our rescuer/Savior is Jesus.
Repent and call of him to heal your broken heart and restore to you
the joy of his salvation.

If you have "wronged/hurt" your boyfriend, go to him/write a letter and sincerely ask forgiveness for hurting him.
Don't vent or nag. I'm also sorry to say this:
You can't make someone love you.

Love or Obsession?
Love is not an all-consuming emotion, most describe it as: "I got to have that one person or my life is over."
That is obsession, not love.

Love is an action. Jesus loved us while we were yet sinners.
We hadn't warrant that love...it was freely bestowed...
Whether we wanted it or not.

He[Jesus] died on a cross for all mankind.
The crowd there mocked him. Note his reaction
toward them was one of love..."Father forgive them they
know not what they do." Jesus didn't call down fire and brimstone
on those who mocked.
(Lord help help all of us to love like that.)

The Lord cares about your happiness but he doesn't want you to get so involved/enamored with another person, place or thing that you turn away from the One who really loves you...Jesus.

 

[Astridhere]

Hi mOeseph

I am also sorry you are feeling such pain. Loosing someone you love is one of the most traumatic events one faces in their life, regardless of it being a loss in separation or death. As other posters have said you need to grieve and process your feelings. You will likely feel denial, pain, anger and many emotions.

You have some good replys here. Keep praying to God for guidance. Sometimes God answers prayers in different ways as He knows what is best for us. While praying for Bryce to come back do not forget to pray for Gods strength and Spirit to help you through this ordeal. God may have other plans for you.

It is so easy to become isolated when one is grieving. Hopefully your friends and family are supporting you.

The best therapy I remember from my single days was going shopping for new clothes, a new hair do, and seeking out friends. This was after a week or so, as I remember it. I also remember feeling very lonely after a constant companion left the scene. However, I still remember feeling vitaly re-energized after few weeks and thinking perhaps it was for the best after all.

I also remember writing a letter of goodbye and thanks for the good times and now I am moving on style letter a few weeks later, when I felt better. Guess what? He called back about a month after when his new girl didn't work out. Guess what? It was too late as I met my current husband in that time and was really smitten with this man that thought I was 'all that'. It took a while for me to see that what I was wishing for was the continuation of a disharmonious relationship and I am glad God knew better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get through this, although it does not seem so at present.

I pray that God continues to support you and take care of you and give you strength at this time of need.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

 

[m0eseph]

Love or Obsession?
Love is not an all-consuming emotion, most describe it as: "I got to have that one person or my life is over."
That is obsession, not love.

I am thankful for your input. but i feel somewhat offended by this. i do feel sometimes i do obsess over him, but my love for him is greater than that. you say love is not a all consuming emotion. but how could it not be? when i am wrapped up in gods arms, i feel consumed by the love i feel for him. and i feel the same kind of love when i love bryce. i feel consumed. i want to treat him like a prince. i want to give him everything his heart desires. i want to love him even more. stronger and even more everlasting. i know i need to love god even more. i feel god has put this love i have for bryce in my heart. ive never loved this hard before. ive been in a 2 year relationship with someone before, but it was nothing like this. i never loved the person as much as i love bryce. ive seen god mend broken relationships and heard about it. im hoping and im praying that god will do the same for me. i dont want anyone else. even the thought of me being with someone else kills me and breaks my heart.

 

[BFine]

I am thankful for your input. but i feel somewhat offended by this. i do feel sometimes i do obsess over him, but my love for him is greater than that. you say love is not a all consuming emotion. but how could it not be? when i am wrapped up in gods arms, i feel consumed by the love i feel for him.
*Having that type of love for God is fine but not for a person...that's what I was meaning. Humans aren't perfect so why would it be wise to hang all your hopes and dreams on a person? I have made that mistake several times in my life and I know countless others who have too. I remember very clearly what it was like to obsess and believe it's love. It is not something I like to dwell on but it did happen to me.

and i feel the same kind of love when i love bryce. i feel consumed. i want to treat him like a prince. i want to give him everything his heart desires. i want to love him even more. stronger and even more everlasting. i know i need to love god even more. i feel god has put this love i have for bryce in my heart. ive never loved this hard before. ive been in a 2 year relationship with someone before, but it was nothing like this. i never loved the person as much as i love bryce. ive seen god mend broken relationships and heard about it. im hoping and im praying that god will do the same for me. i dont want anyone else. even the thought of me being with someone else kills me and breaks my heart.

*According to what you wrote he isn't feeling the same way?
Did I get that right?

I know what it is to love and I know what it is to be obsessed...I also know what it's like to have love reciprocated by the one you love and eventually marry.

Some background info...
I have been married 8 years...we have overcome many obstacles, such: we are from different ethnic group(I'm a black woman and he is of the white race) We use to live in two different countries(this was a long distant relationship) and he is 13 older than myself and he was grown children and there's grandchildren.

I left behind all my family and friends when I moved from the USA to Canada in 2002. I only knew my husband and I was in an area where there wasn't any other blacks. There were no hair products for me and no hair stylist there could "do" my hair.
I had zero friends the entire 6 years we lived on the peninsula; which is accessed by ferry or seaplane.

My husband loved me through my depression, bad moods and crying fits, through my broken friendships and inability to find suitable work...he prayed for me when I felt
so abandoned by my family & friends in the states-- I thought they were my friends.
There's only one friend down there who keeps in contact with me.
No one in my family (who is able) has come to see me in Canada.
They don't even write.

In 3 months it will be two years since my husband's industrial accident...his left leg had to be amputated and he spent nearly two months in the trauma hospital.
He was heavily medicated due to the extreme pain.
He also suffered two major setbacks and at one time he nearly died!

Our lives were turned upside down! He and I have on-going medical issues.
Then just months after his amputation I had to have an hysterectomy --leaving me unable to have children.
Adoption isn't possible due to unstable finances/income.
Sometimes he out of work for a couple of weeks, sometimes it's a month.(The Lord provides for us and our bills get paid.)

We have been tried in fire and have come out even more in love than ever before and we haven't been able to be intimate in 4 years.

We have endured through all of these setbacks by the grace of God.
Our happiness/joy comes from the Lord. We rely heavily upon the Lord.

That first year...
When my husband was zonked out on pain-killers there was no romantic feelings going on, most of the time I felt numb and walked around in a daze that first year.
I went to church alone and still praised God, that was my sacrifice of worship. I
kept going even though I wanted to lay down and die!
I made myself cleave to the Lord and I sought Him on a regular basis for strength to get through each day and to present a "happy face" to my husband who was suffering so much pain and dealing with his loss of limb and lifestyle change. I drove 2 hrs. every day for nearly two months to be at my husband's bedside.

Just so you know--
I am not an uncaring person but I tend to be direct.
I am a former caregiver...I did that for nearly 15 yrs. professionally...and 10 yrs. privately in client's homes.
I am not that good at writing but I do my best, when I mess up I apologize...
I didn't mean to offend or hurt your feelings.

 

[m0eseph]

Bfine,

thank you for sharing your story with me. i dont want you to think when i said i was offended, that i was angry. i wasnt. i just know i love him, even though im not getting love in return. i have also loved bryce through the pain he has gone through and the pain he has caused me. but i never turned my back on him. if anything it made me love him more. each time that there has been a difficult path for us, i always come out falling even more in love with him. i hope the only thing that changes is our relationship with God. then maybe one day God will bring us back together and i will love him more than i ever have, just like in my dream. but i know that will only happen if i give my life to God fully 100%.

I just now got a call from him about 30 minutes ago, him telling me that he might have to go to the hospital tonight because he is feeling extremely ill. i just broke down and cried when i heard that. im praying that he will get better, but it was nice to hear his voice again, despite the part where he is sick.

 

[heron]

How nice of him to call you and still consider you a friend. Was he asking for help? Did you find out yet how he's doing?

BFine, what an ordeal you endured! I hope that your family members visit you eventually.

(And thanks, Bri -- kind words after a rough day.)

 

[m0eseph]

he called because he knew i would be worried and i would care. im very happy he called. he didnt end up going to the hospital. he just had an allergic reaction to something. and now things are back the way it was before he texted me. i wish him well and that if he ever needs to, im always here to talk. gosh i miss talking to him. it was so good hearing his voice. i hung out with a friend today that let me lean on their shoulder to cry. they complete understood and i now have support. im feeling a little better at the moment. i hope things get better from here.

 

[ditte]

Dear Father God,

I hold up my dear friend before you and her love Bryce. I pray that you reach down and touch her wounded and crushed heart, that you help her in her time of need. I know that she loves you and that you said that if we love you that all things work together for our good. I pray that you be with her right now and let her feel you like she never has before, that you would bring comfort and peace and that you would restore her love to her. God I do not know whether or not Bryce will return and I do not know all that the future holds for her but you do, and Lord in your great power and mercy I pray that you restore her wounded heart and that you help her right now, that you would wipe the tears from her eyes and from her face, that you would take her in your everlasting loving arms and give her peace beyond understanding as you promised in your word, though all people may forsake us and fail us, you never ever will.
I pray this in Jesus name.

Be blessed my dear friend, you are not alone, no matter how dark your time feels, you are not alone.

AMEN!

 

[ditte]

he called because he knew i would be worried and i would care. im very happy he called. he didnt end up going to the hospital. he just had an allergic reaction to something. and now things are back the way it was before he texted me. i wish him well and that if he ever needs to, im always here to talk. gosh i miss talking to him. it was so good hearing his voice. i hung out with a friend today that let me lean on their shoulder to cry. they complete understood and i now have support. im feeling a little better at the moment. i hope things get better from here.

I'm happy that you feel better dear Sister.I'm praying for you.
Put everything in the hands of the Lord.I don't know what His will is,but He wants the best for you.Never forget that.He loves you.
May the Lord bless you.

 

[lovedandhisforever]

my dear sister in Christ, we do care and I pray for this to be restored to you. Lemme tell ya something. I have had tremendous losses and God healed my broken Heart! Dear one, He is close to the broken-hearted, i know this only TOO WELL! If ya only knew. I will lift you up. Either way, God is there, greiving with you. His compassions unbelieveable. Trust me, I know brokeness. I know healing. you will know too.

In my Prayers, tracey

 

[KTskater]

I have been here, not too long ago.

A guy I began dating in high school and I were just starting to talk about marriage the summer after we graduated high school. However, we went to different universities in the fall, and the distance eventually tore things apart. I loved him dearly, and became extremely depressed. He was, and still is, an exceedingly godly, patient and loving young man. I had not only lost the man that I loved, but also my best friend and my spiritual mentor. For the next year and half I would battle and awful depression and go through many ups and downs in my relationship with God.
It will be two years since the break up this September, and I will tell you that I still love him deeply. However, since being apart from him, God has allowed me to grow immensely. I have begun to follow the calling God has put on my heart, and made my faith my own. I have matured greatly in my faith, because pain drives us to seek God in prayer. Some of my lowest times were when I was the closest to God. You will find in God a joy that exceeds even earthly love. He does heal broken hearts.
Ultimately, you must foster a trust in God, because the pain WILL fade, but love doesn't fade quite as easily. I get into contact with him, or ask friends from back home about him, to make sure he's doing okay. At this point, being with him doesn't concern me, but his happiness does. If he is happy and doing well with God without me there, then I am content to love him from afar. I know that regardless of how I feel, God has a plan in place for my life. If Bryce is supposed to be in your life, God will bring him back. If he is not, then God has something better in store.
Remember, though, that we are not on this earth for ourselves. You have another purpose as a Christian that takes precedence over this.

"Seek first the Kingdom of God"


I will be in prayer for your healing, and for you to draw close to God when you despair.

 

[Pal Handy]

Your story reminds me so much of God's love story for us.
God loves us so much and desires to be joined with us and so
He came into the world and did all that was good and right to serve us and
prove His love for us and we rejected Him.

As much as it pains God, He knows He cannot force us to love Him.

Don't blame God when your boy friend changes his mind.

God will not make you or your boy friend love Him so what makes you think
God will force your boy friend to love you.

I assume you are a Christian...right?
You have called Jesus your Lord and savior, right?

If you have made that commitment to Christ, then He will not allow you to
put others ahead of Him as idols in your life.

God must be first and your boy friend and even your plans for marriage must
take a second place.

If you will put God first and stop accusing Him and put your boy friend in
God's hands, I am confident that your life will turn out better that you can manage it.

God loves you and knows how to bless you better than you do so
grow up in Him and trust Him and ask Him for His help.

True love seeks the benefit of those that are loved, even at the
expense of the one who loves.

If you really love your boy friend, begin to pray that he will not be harmed
and that God will do what is best for him, even if that includes your absence in his life.

Love is more than words and feelings, it is sacrifice for the benefit
of those loved as Christ exampled when He gave His life so we could live
and be blessed.

Whenever you hang on to something too tightly, you run the risk
of losing it but when you know when to release it, it will
most likely return to you.

God bless..

 

[briareos]

mOeseph,

I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better