I am so angry

[AdJesumPerMariam]

My step son married a girl he knew about a month, then was deployed to Iraq about 3 weeks later. Since leaving, she has spent all of his money, every month, been to jail at least twice, pawned all of his things.....and of course she doesn't talk to us.

I am not even a little bit happy with her....

 

[college4christ81]

How old is your son? Do you know what made him marry the girl?

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

He will be 26 in June....I think he felt sorry for her. He met her and she had no medical care, and had a whole list of "issues"

She has 2 kids she does not have custody of. He wants more kids! He wants a family, and unless she gets her act together, there will be none.

 

[Shesjr]

Unfortunately there is little you can do regarding her squandering his assets. They are married and best to stay out of their business; unless he askes you for help and then there is not really much you can do anyway.

And regarding more children, if they decide together (regardless if her act is together or not) to have children then you must come to a place of accepting that. You don't have to agree, but acceptance is key! Especially if you want a continued relationship with your son.

 

[3girls2dogs]

If she is continually getting arrested, it can affect his career. One of my husband's Marines had orders to Japan, and now they have discovered that his wife cannot go overseas because of having been in jail. It can also affect his clearance.

Is your son willing to listen to you? Have you spoken to him about this? How does he feel about her spending all of his money?

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

He has spoken to me, in fact, i wouldn't even know if it wasn't for him. He has money channeled to our accounts, so he will have some left when this is over (Not much, but enough that she is really mad at him)
He does listen, and as long as he is married to her, I will be nice. He knows that.

 

[3girls2dogs]

He has spoken to me, in fact, i wouldn't even know if it wasn't for him. He has money channeled to our accounts, so he will have some left when this is over (Not much, but enough that she is really mad at him)
He does listen, and as long as he is married to her, I will be nice. He knows that.

Ok, well first off, he should revoke any power of attorney he had granted her. I am going to find a couple of links for you.

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

Oh thank you!
I think all of this is compounded by him being in Iraq

 

[RangerJoe]

Oh thank you!
I think all of this is compounded by him being in Iraq

I would also recommend him signing his life insurance policy over to you if it wasn't there in the first place.

I know this is probably a hard question...but is she being faithful to him? I learned a very hard lesson during my first deployment and I hate to see other Soldiers go through the same thing.

As far as her having a record? It will definitely affect his ability to get clearance within his MOS. I was required to get a top secret clearance and they check the background of any spouse or girlfriend as far as I know.

Good luck....

 

[MommaBuckaroo]

I would also recommend him signing his life insurance policy over to you if it wasn't there in the first place.

I know this is probably a hard question...but is she being faithful to him? I learned a very hard lesson during my first deployment and I hate to see other Soldiers go through the same thing.

As far as her having a record? It will definitely affect his ability to get clearance within his MOS. I was required to get a top secret clearance and they check the background of any spouse or girlfriend as far as I know.

Good luck....

Isn't Top Secret a bit different then just a regular security clearance? It also depends on what she went to jail for. I mean she could have went to jail for parking tickets. My suggestion as far as the money is concerend is for your son to set up that all the bills for his wife be paid online and come directly out of his account ( I would set up a totally different accout if I was him USAA is a VERY good bank to use for military) and this way her bills are being paid. Then I would go through mypay and set her up an allotment of X amount of dollars. This would be for groceries basically and a little bit of spending money. When it was gone she would have to account for the money she spent before she could get more. If he would set up USAA checking accounts they can transfer back and forth from one account to the other no charge and she would have a user number and he would so she couldn't get into his information. I Would change my pay if I was him to go into a different account then she has access to. If you need more information just ask me or PM me.

In Christ,
Laura

 

[ciaradawn]

ohmygoodness! I'm sorry to hear about this. It is so depressing that some women are like this. I would be SO angry!

I see that you posted this in January... How is everything since then?