I know why I am single. I am single because I do not allow myself to get close to another person. I distant myself and feel uncomfortable when someone hugs me. I do not communicate well with guys who seem interestead in me. When I do become close friends with a guy, I end up pushing him away. I try to find their imperfections so I wouldn't have to think about going out with them. My problem is due to the fact that I was raped when I was younger. I know that the Lord has our lives planned out. If someone is meant to be part of my life then it will happen in God's timing.
So sorry that happened to you! Surely you can take an e-hug at least? *biiiig hug* And you're right, everything is in God's timing. It's difficult to stomach, (even for me) but it just has to be true. Take care and God bless!
I am eighteen years old and I have been saved for three years. I sometimes look back on how my life was before I was saved and how it is now that I walk with the Lord. Before I was saved, I was lost but now I am found. When I was seven years old I found out that I was half deaf and I had a speech problem. For some odd reason I thought I'd never had a single friend in this planet. I would always be teased because of the way I talked and I hated myself. As aI grew older, I was looking for fulliment in my life and I was always trying new things. For some reason, I always blamed God for the events that happened in my life. I was raped when I was thirteen years old by my grandfather and I went into depression. I started to cry at night and I even attempted to kill myself before. I no longer trusted anyone and I kept to myself for fear that someone would hurt me. I thought that everyone was out to get me and I started getting these thoughts that I didn't want to live anymore. My parents were on drugs and my dad was always in and out of prison. I had no love or friends so I would have sleepless nights and I enyed the people who had a better life then me. I started stealing from people and I lyed so many times. I use to take out all of my anger out on my cats and I would hit them. One day, my dad went to prison for drug possession and I was told that he wasn't coming out for three years. He wasn't himself and he was lost in drugs, he was always angry and he lived a sinful and lustful life. He never came in and spent time with me or my family. I would see my family falling apart and when my dad went to prison, we lost our house and we had no money. So we decided to move to New Mexico and I hoped for a better life. My mom was lost in drugs and she would physically abuse me. I was so hurt and confused and I ran away from home. My mom saw me on the streets pulled me by the hair and I started to cry. She never came home and she spent our rent money on drugs and she always went out drinking with her friends. I stopped going to school because I wasn't mentally stabled. We ended up getting our electricity turned off and we were going to be evicted. I started working at people's houses so I could buy a loaf of bread and lunch meat but my mom took the money and spent it on drugs. One day I went to the restroom and found the drugs, oh how I wanted to smoke it. I got to visit my dad sometimes in prison but it hurt to know that he wasn't coming home. I had no going for me so I started smoking and drinking. One day I was tired of leaving a sinful and unhappy life and I went to church but Iwasn't ready to serve God so I stopped going. One night I was lying in bed and I cried and did somethng that I never did in my life and that was pray. I cried out to the lord with an open heart and asked him to come into my life because I was tired of being alone. I asked the Lord to forgive me and help me. The Lord was calling me and there I was hopeless and alone but ready to change. As time went by I started pray to God and we ended up moving back to California because my mom wanted to change her life around. I went to church and the pastor was calling people to the alter, I cried and went up there, I got on my knees and the pastor prayed for me and I felt the holy spirit move in me. As the years went by I trusted God and my father came home from prison when I was sixteen. We all devoted our lives to God and went to church together. As I started learning more and more about the Lord, he was calling me to share the Good news to others and I did. I used every opportunity to help someone and I asked God for wisdom. Now that I have been a christian for three years I have learned many things and i have become wise. I am a servant for the Lord and I do the work of the Lord in the areas he has called me to. I haved read my christian books and learned from other believers. I now have this love for people and for God. Everyone I see i greet them in love. I have learned how to pray and how to plant the seed. Now that I am saved and have been for a couple of years I am wise and I no longer feel like I am alone in this world. I live for the Lord and I put my trust in him abd I thank God for the trials that I went through because I can share my experience with others and share my testimony.
