I am numb to sin...advice please...

[Rafterman223]

First of all I would like to say that I am already saved, but lately when I pray I have trouble repenting with all of my heart.  Sure, I am sorry for what I have done, but no matter how hard I think about it, I don't feel that 'heart felt' repentance.  I am numb to other things too.  For example, my father died last May, and when I think about it I don't feel any heart felt emotions (I am possibly still in denial), and when I think about human suffering or see wrong doing I feel bad, but that heart feltness isn't there.  I was wondering if any of you have felt this before?  If you have how did you overcome this lack of feeling?  I'm distressed by this, for I truly feel that I need to cry about what I have done, or feel total repentance, but it's just not happening.  Thanks in advance!

 

[seebs]

If you're disturbed by this, you seem to have some level of repentance. Did you previously experience these things differently, or are you going off of what other people have described?

 

[Susan]

I don't know what to say to you. . .I just know that if you're thinking about it, that's a start. . .and also, some people don't "feel" as deeply as others do on anything. If you're not wailing in grief any time you make the smallest mistake, you're not necessarily numb-you may just not feel as deeply as others do.

 

[KeysforChrist]

Brother, welcome to my world!!! I know EXACTLY how you feel. You really have nothing to worry about here. This is the way God made you. What you are doing is trying to compare your level of repentance to someone else's repentance? You see some other people at a funeral just totally losing it and balling their eyes out, but yet you feel guilty because the tears never come? There's nothing wrong with this. You are naturally this way.

My grandfather died a few years back, and my mother, sister and cousins were all balling their eyes out. I was like, 'the man was 86 years old - he lived a full live; where's the food?' Not that I wasn't sad to see my grandfather pass away, but honestly, you don't HAVE TO cry at a funeral. Frankly I think some people feel guilty if they don't put on a good cry for the "cameras". I'm the opposite way. I don't usually cry over much. But this is just the way God made me.

Maybe the answer to your situation would be to stop comparing your emotional experiences to other people, but rather, pray to God and seek out his answer to your personal situation. And as far as repentance of sins goes. You either mean it when you repent or you don't. If you feel that it isn't heartfelt, then...well, search your heart. Do you still harbor these guilty feelings? Then there isn't true repentance. However, when I repent quietly in my prayers to God, I leave it at the altar baby. If I have sinned against someone, I need to apologize to them and seek THEIR forgiveness, so maybe you need to approach anyone you have sinned against. But if the sin is against God himself, then ask for forgiveness, and then accept that forgiveness and let it go. But maybe the "sin hangover" is because you haven't asked for forgiveness from the offended human party. But that's just a guess here.

But don't even apologize for not showing emotion. That is how I deal with things too. I'm the calmest person in the midst of any crisis. When I got in a car wreck recently and totalled my car I had all sorts of people wanting to "help" me. I walked away from the car and they were all emotional over it, and got concerned about my physical health. And I was like, "I'm fine, thanks for the concern". People wanted to call an ambulance, and I was like, 'when can I go home and call the insurance company'. To me it was a car - a piece of metal. My wife on the other hand got all bent out of shape. I never got upset, emotional, or traumatic about it, because I just never do.

Now some people would lead you to believe that if you don't "let it out" you'll build all those feelings up inside of you. Well, I'm 35 years old and I'm still waiting to let it all out. Please, that to me is lame psychoanalytical BS. I don't need an emotional release of these things, because I don't carry these feelings around with me like luggage. I let it go as it happens. Now there are plenty of occassions when someone ****es me off, and I then confront them and share my feelings with them about how I feel wronged here, but I don't live my life to be emotional. That's just not the way I was built.

Look at the bright side of things, you spend less time getting worked up over senseless stuff then most people do. View it as a strength God has given you to handle almost any kind of crisis. You could be the "Rudy Guilianni" of your neighborhood and not even know it.

 

[Aaron11]

Hey there. I do not know your situation totally, but the fact that your father died a year ago has obvious effects on your emotions. I have a best friend who's father died 2 years ago. She has been through much of what you are talking about. Also, my grandfather died, and my uncle has talked to me alot about his grieving process that he is still going through. Both, my friend and my uncle, have had similar feelings or lack thereof. I am sure that your father dying has had a huge impact on your emotions and probably has helped cause the lack of emotion. I do not think that the emotional intensity is necessary for repentance. I do not think that emotional intensity is necessary in a relationship with God. However, I think that it is probably healthy to feel emotions. I think that we have them for a reason. I also think that as time goes on and you deal with your emotions, changes will take place.

I say these things not knowing your exact circumstances. I just recognized similarities between you and some that I know. I hope this helps at least somewhat. I am sorry that you are stuggling with this. I will pray for you.

 

[Aaron11]

What keysforChrist wrote is valid. Some people just are not as emotional. That is fine too. If that is how you were made, then do not be ashamed or feel guilty. If you feel that it is unnatural how you feel, then you may attribute it to your circumstances and how you are dealing with them.

 

[Rafterman223]

Thanks a lot guys! I especialy appreciated your reply KeysforChrist. I guess you're right. When I pray, I regret the things that I have done, but I remember times in the past where I have felt more regret for these things. I still am sorry, but no matter how much time i spend talking to god about it, or analyzing myself, I do not feel any more heartfelt. I guess that just is the way I am. I'm still going to have to learn to deal with it though. Also, my father's death did have impact on me, and ever since that I have grown caloused (is that spelled right?) to my emotions. What you guys said really helps. Thanks!

 

[rnmomof7]

Today at 01:11 AM Rafterman223 said this in Post #1

First of all I would like to say that I am already saved, but lately when I pray I have trouble repenting with all of my heart.  Sure, I am sorry for what I have done, but no matter how hard I think about it, I don't feel that 'heart felt' repentance.  I am numb to other things too.  For example, my father died last May, and when I think about it I don't feel any heart felt emotions (I am possibly still in denial), and when I think about human suffering or see wrong doing I feel bad, but that heart feltness isn't there.  I was wondering if any of you have felt this before?  If you have how did you overcome this lack of feeling?  I'm distressed by this, for I truly feel that I need to cry about what I have done, or feel total repentance, but it's just not happening.  Thanks in advance!

Salvation is not a matter of feelings.If it was it would mean everytime you had a 'desert" experience " you were not saved.

The same is true with repentace I believe. The term repentace means to turn away from..When you are faithful to confess your sins do you return to them or do you confess and run back to them..(showing that you were really NOT sorry) .
When the bible talks about a heart being hardened it is talking about a heart that does not see sin or is indifferent to it. Not to one that is aware it is sin.

The forgivness of God is not dependant on anything YOU do or feel ..it is His mercy and His grace NOT your feelings.

If we are aware of our sin it means the Holy Spirit is bringing it to mind..He is the one that convicts us of sin. Thank God that the Holy Spirit is working in your life and bringing to rememberance the things we need to take to God..

The fact that this is heavy on your heart speaks for itself..

I am not a very "emotional" person either..I did not cry when my dad died untill i saw an old family friend. At that moment many memories came back to me and I wept that there would be no more monents like that again. I have not wept sense.That does not mean I did not love my Dad, but when we grow up we have a different relationship with our parents. I would expect when I die my children will share some family stories..laugh and cry and then move on with their lives. That is healthy ..often tears that are shed are self pity not grief.

 

[Rafterman223]

thank you, but i have a question for you, if you are not sorry at all, are you still forgiven? this is where i can get mixed up. some say that repentance is a necessary part of forgiveness, while others say the feeling comes from forgiveness.

 

[rnmomof7]

Yesterday at 10:17 PM Rafterman223 said this in Post #9

thank you, but i have a question for you, if you are not sorry at all, are you still forgiven? this is where i can get mixed up. some say that repentance is a necessary part of forgiveness, while others say the feeling comes from forgiveness.

I think the problem is with words..

Lots of people are "sorry" for things (usually they are sorry they got caught)

Sorry is different than repentance.
God calls on all men everwhere to repent, not apologize

metanoeo {met-an-o-eh'-o}
TDNT Reference Root Word
TDNT - 4:975,636 from 3326 and 3539

v


1) to change one's mind, i.e. to repent

2) to change one's mind for better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one's past sins


We are called upon the hate our sin, the turn from it..but no where does it tell us how that SHOULD feel..

I have fallen to my knees overwhelmed by how God sees me. I have also had the Holy Spirit bring to mind an unkind word or a sin that makes me sad or ashamed..without being driven to my knees..

If you live your faith out based on "feelings" you will often find yourself in doubt. He is faithful, He promises that if we confess he is faithful to forgive us.

We are saved by faith not "feelings"

The fact that it concerns you that you do not have a greater sense of repentance tells me you care and want to turn from your sin (that is repent) .

There are cults that base they salvation by a burning bosom..without even having read one word..that is their testimony .."I had a feeling...."

God does not ask us to turn off our intellect..We are to read and absorb and question..
We are to have the "mind of Christ"

What kind of "feelings" do you think represent true repentance?
Is the feeling a better measure than the turning?

HE Is Risen

 

[Chrissy]

Hardening the Heart

You said that "lately" you have trouble feeling repentent. This means that in the past, you DID feel repentent.


The sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit does not lie in any sudden word or deed; it is the firm, determined resistance of truth and evidence. It is not that God sends out a decree that man shall not be saved. He does not throw a darkness before the eyes which cannot be penetrated. But man at first resists a motion of the Spirit of God, and, having once resisted, it is less difficult to do so the second time, less the third, and far less the fourth. Then comes the harvest to be reaped from the seed of unbelief and resistance. On the other hand, every ray of light cherished will yield a harvest of light. Temptation once resisted will give power to more firmly resist the second time; every new victory gained over self will smooth the way for higher and nobler triumphs. Every victory is a seed sown to eternal life. God destroys no one. The sinner destroys himself by his own impenitence. No one need look upon the sin against the Holy Ghost as something mysterious and indefinable. The sin against the Holy Ghost is the sin of persistent refusal to respond to the invitation to repent. There is no . . . hope of the higher life, but through the submission of the soul to Christ.

Every act of transgression, every neglect or rejection of the grace of Christ, is reacting upon yourself; it is hardening the heart, depraving the will, benumbing the understanding, and not only making you less inclined to yield, but less capable of yielding, to the tender pleading of God's Holy Spirit.

Many are quieting a troubled conscience with the thought that they can change a course of evil when they choose; that they can trifle with the invitations of mercy, and yet be again and again impressed. They think that after doing despite to the Spirit of grace, after casting their influence on the side of Satan, in a moment of terrible extremity they can change their course. But this is not so easily done. The experience, the education, of a lifetime, has so thoroughly molded the character that few then desire to receive the image of Jesus.

Even one wrong trait of character, one sinful desire, persistently cherished, will eventually neutralize all the power of the gospel. Every sinful indulgence strengthens the soul's aversion to God. The man who manifests an infidel hardihood, or a stolid indifference to divine truth, is but reaping the harvest of that which he has himself sown. In all the Bible there is not a more fearful warning against trifling with evil than the words of the wise man that the sinner "shall be holden with the cords of his sins." Proverbs 5:22.


The cure for this is to pray as never before that God will pour His Spirit out upon you, begin studying the Scriptures as never before... and when you see any duty in the Bible that God asks of you, DO IT... don't ignore it. When God sees that you are following the light, He will give you more light, more of a conscience, more sensitivity of soul. Prov:1:23: "Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you."
Jn:14:21: "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him."
You will slowly regain your sensitive conscience back again, if it's not too late. It must not be too late, because you are showing signs that it is bothering you. If you had absolutely no conscience left, then it wouldnt bother you.

 

[Aaron11]

20th April 2003 at 05:01 PM rnmomof7 said this in Post #10




I think the problem is with words..

Lots of people are "sorry" for things (usually they are sorry they got caught)

Sorry is different than repentance.
God calls on all men everwhere to repent, not apologize

metanoeo {met-an-o-eh'-o}
TDNT Reference Root Word
TDNT - 4:975,636 from 3326 and 3539

v


1) to change one's mind, i.e. to repent

2) to change one's mind for better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one's past sins


We are called upon the hate our sin, the turn from it..but no where does it tell us how that SHOULD feel..

I have fallen to my knees overwhelmed by how God sees me. I have also had the Holy Spirit bring to mind an unkind word or a sin that makes me sad or ashamed..without being driven to my knees..

If you live your faith out based on "feelings" you will often find yourself in doubt. He is faithful, He promises that if we confess he is faithful to forgive us.

We are saved by faith not "feelings"

The fact that it concerns you that you do not have a greater sense of repentance tells me you care and want to turn from your sin (that is repent) .

There are cults that base they salvation by a burning bosom..without even having read one word..that is their testimony .."I had a feeling...."

God does not ask us to turn off our intellect..We are to read and absorb and question..
We are to have the "mind of Christ"

What kind of "feelings" do you think represent true repentance?
Is the feeling a better measure than the turning?

HE Is Risen

Brilliant.

 

[Pistos Ergon]

"First of all I would like to say that I am already saved..."
OSAS is not a doctrine that originates with God.

Can A Saved Man Choose To Be Lost?
http://www.nisbett.com/library/can_saved_man_choose-los2.html

"I have trouble repenting with all of my heart."
Either you do or you do not.

The Surrender of Self
http://www.nisbett.com/library/surrender_of_self.htm

Matt 16:24-25
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

 

[Grace_Alone4gives]

"First of all I would like to say that I am already saved..."
OSAS is not a doctrine that originates with God.

Can A Saved Man Choose To Be Lost?
http://www.nisbett.com/library/can_saved_man_choose-los2.html

"I have trouble repenting with all of my heart."
Either you do or you do not.

The Surrender of Self
http://www.nisbett.com/library/surrender_of_self.htm

Matt 16:24-25
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

 

[fakemind]

Hardening the Heart

You said that "lately" you have trouble feeling repentent. This means that in the past, you DID feel repentent.


The sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit does not lie in any sudden word or deed; it is the firm, determined resistance of truth and evidence. It is not that God sends out a decree that man shall not be saved. He does not throw a darkness before the eyes which cannot be penetrated. But man at first resists a motion of the Spirit of God, and, having once resisted, it is less difficult to do so the second time, less the third, and far less the fourth. Then comes the harvest to be reaped from the seed of unbelief and resistance. On the other hand, every ray of light cherished will yield a harvest of light. Temptation once resisted will give power to more firmly resist the second time; every new victory gained over self will smooth the way for higher and nobler triumphs. Every victory is a seed sown to eternal life. God destroys no one. The sinner destroys himself by his own impenitence. No one need look upon the sin against the Holy Ghost as something mysterious and indefinable. The sin against the Holy Ghost is the sin of persistent refusal to respond to the invitation to repent. There is no . . . hope of the higher life, but through the submission of the soul to Christ.

Every act of transgression, every neglect or rejection of the grace of Christ, is reacting upon yourself; it is hardening the heart, depraving the will, benumbing the understanding, and not only making you less inclined to yield, but less capable of yielding, to the tender pleading of God's Holy Spirit.

Many are quieting a troubled conscience with the thought that they can change a course of evil when they choose; that they can trifle with the invitations of mercy, and yet be again and again impressed. They think that after doing despite to the Spirit of grace, after casting their influence on the side of Satan, in a moment of terrible extremity they can change their course. But this is not so easily done. The experience, the education, of a lifetime, has so thoroughly molded the character that few then desire to receive the image of Jesus.

Even one wrong trait of character, one sinful desire, persistently cherished, will eventually neutralize all the power of the gospel. Every sinful indulgence strengthens the soul's aversion to God. The man who manifests an infidel hardihood, or a stolid indifference to divine truth, is but reaping the harvest of that which he has himself sown. In all the Bible there is not a more fearful warning against trifling with evil than the words of the wise man that the sinner "shall be holden with the cords of his sins." Proverbs 5:22.


The cure for this is to pray as never before that God will pour His Spirit out upon you, begin studying the Scriptures as never before... and when you see any duty in the Bible that God asks of you, DO IT... don't ignore it. When God sees that you are following the light, He will give you more light, more of a conscience, more sensitivity of soul. Prov:1:23: "Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you."
Jn:14:21: "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him."
You will slowly regain your sensitive conscience back again, if it's not too late. It must not be too late, because you are showing signs that it is bothering you. If you had absolutely no conscience left, then it wouldnt bother you.

Not to be mean or start any arguments, but I would not listen to what Chrissy or Pistos posted. I could go into more, but I dont agree with how they view it.

It seems to me that you have simply backed off from your emotions, I do it all the time. Does that mean I've blasphemied the Holy Spirit? No. It simply means I'm human, and some people back off from their emotions sometimes. Its a way not to get hurt. Anyway, Im a guy who does it, and its normal - you're human! Repentence does not demand emotion, only a choice to turn away from your sin and not do it anymore. If you dont cry or get all emotional, thats fine, like keys said, its fine. Sure you'll stumble in the future, but thats ok too - God never expected anybody to be perfect. I once heard it put nicely like this: "If you saw a Christian and a non-Christian in a mudhole, the Christian is the one who is trying to get out". As Christian's we are God's kids, and we still mess up and sin - but we should be actively trying not to and repenting when we do. We know we're saved because of the truth in the Bible - that if we choose to follow Christ, we will be saved - not whether we cry when we sin or get emotional at praise and worship!

dont always trust your emotions, they can deceive you. i dont cry everytime i sin or at every funeral, and i dont get all giddy and warm-inside at every praise and worship event either. but I love God so much, and He loves me, and I know Im saved because of what the Bible says, not because of how I feel. I would love to go into more about emotions, but Im at work right now.

Anyways, you're ok, you're human - repentance is a choice, that does not demand an emotion.

 

[NewGenerationHippie]

Hmmm, I don't have that problem, I don't believe in sin.

 

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

#1 confessing your sins is saying that you agree with God with what he says about that sin.

#2 Jesus Christ died and paid for your
Past
Present
and Future
sins

what a Great God P.S. Look for Postional Truth that you have IN CHRIST good stuff