I am lost

Heath18 said:

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

Click to expand...

You are lacking the Spirit of God. Seek that as Jesus instructed you to.

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

Click to expand...

Your perception is wrong. What you need is the holy spirit. Without the Spirit, you will just remain lost.

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

Click to expand...

Actually, your description of the Bible is a caricature, a cartoon version, of what the Bible actually is. It's no wonder, then, that you are thinking and feeling as you are. Have you read the Bible for yourself?

The Bible doesn't call you merely to obedience to God's commands. It reveals who God is and what His purposes are in making you (and all of the universe); it describes God's loving and gracious redemption of humanity from the consequences of sin; it provides wisdom, and principles, and guidelines for meaningful, fulfilling and God-centered living.

Apart from God, your life really does mean nothing. If God does not exist, you are an accident of nature, existing without purpose or meaning, insignificant, short-lived and soon forgotten. Without God, you are just a DNA replicating meat-bag. So, live as you like, live to maximize your pleasure, because when your life ends, that's it, you disappear forever, a submicroscopic blip in the life of the universe that is expanding toward the empty, cold blackness of heat-death. Does this sound preferable to a life given meaning by its Creator? Not to me.

Does God expect you to be a puppet or robot? Of course not. But He does expect you to live as He commands in His universe. You can, though, choose not to do so. But, remember, you're in God's universe, existing only because He makes it possible for you to do so. Why, then, should you be able to do just as you please, ignoring God when it suits you and choosing your will over His with impunity? Why shouldn't God insist you live His way in His universe?

Heath18 said:

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

Click to expand...

If you want to hear from God, if you truly want wisdom and understanding, study the Bible. In it, God tells all of us what He wants from us, who He is, who we are, and how to relate with Him.
Screaming at God, then, to give you what can be readily found in the Bible is a bit silly, don't you think?

Heath18 said:

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

Click to expand...

You aren't going to be a prophesied Messiah; you aren't going to atone for the sins of the world by dying on a cross and then rising from the dead after three days; you aren't going to found a new religion that will change the course of human history. But this is what Jesus did, right? And you're supposed to live just like he did, right? Can you see the problem in taking too literally the verse you cited? Be like Jesus, yes, in character and fundamental life-purposes, but do so in the particular ground in which you've been planted. Be like Jesus where you are and in the things you do.

God does not ask you to give up your life because you ought to, or because you fear the consequences of not doing so. In fact, if love does not motivate your obedience to His commands, God will not accept your obedience. He wants you to live according to His will and way because you love Him more than anything else (Matt. 22:36-38). And until you do, the thought of giving up your current self-centered life will only ever make you angry, and resentful, and unwilling.

Heath18 said:

How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

Click to expand...

One step at a time. One divine truth at a time. By God's enabling power. In loving submission to Him.

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

What am I doing wrong!?!
Am I asking for help in the wrong way???

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

I'm a college student studying computer science. I have an obsessive nature. I love to obsess over things that I enjoy and block out the rest of the world.

I don't see Jesus as the type who would be a computer scientist or obsess over studies.
So, I guess I should just abandon my love for computers and change to something else or drop out of college all together because Jesus would not obsess over anything, but I obsess over all of my studies.

I guess being a christian means that I have to walk along the sides of the street every day calling out for people to repent and turn to God, because that's exactly what I think Jesus would be doing right now.

I've also been reading about how people don't think playing video games is a christian thing to do, even is there is not violence in them.
I've been playing video games ever since I can remember.
I've successfully stopped playing violent games, but that's not good enough??

Also, Idols.
As I said before, I obsess over anything and everything I love to do.

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.
So, I guess that's an idol and I need to cut it out of my life.

I guess I need to cut everything I love out of my life that I love to obsess over completely and
just twiddle my thumbs and sleep when I have nothing to do.

How am I supposed to do all of this!?!

All I know is that I've been hearing "You're going to Hell if you're not a Christian" ever since I can remember.

If there was a switch that I could turn on that would make me ok with all of this, I would flip it immediately.
But of course there is not!
How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

Click to expand...

Congratulations about quitting violent video games. Success may lead to success.

In 1981 I was at the University of Massachusetts failing college courses. I was too often drunk on alcohol and stoned on pot. I was not sure there was a God. There was brain damage. I left the university with failing grades. That summer I turned 22 and wrecked my car while intoxicated. No one was seriously injured. I was not arrested. I started attending AA meetings. Some prayers were answered. I quit drugs, stopped drinking alcohol, quit smoking and became celibate. My chances improved, but I did not think I had been saved. I was a sober failure. In the years following, I read my Bible many times.

In 2016 I was 57 and started to read Christian Forums. Sometimes I was filled with joy while reading Christian testimony, other times I wondered why some people bothered to write. I started online dating and was dating a Christian widow. She told me about losing 40 pounds and surviving breast cancer. She was able to bike over 20 miles a day. It was hard for me to walk a mile as I had severe pain from an undiagnosed bladder stone. Kidney stones came out when I urinated. After I started [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ing blood, I went to the doctor. Sometime later, I felt the Spirit lead me to turn on my TV. A PBS nutrition show appeared. A doctor was explaining his miraculous diet plan. I listened intently. God was not far away. God stayed with me until I downloaded a Kindle version of one of the doctor's nutrition books to my tablet. I started to read and follow the instructions. My blood pressure started to drop. A few days later my lady friend drove me to a surgical center for my non-invasive bladder stone operation. A pot bellied doctor looked at the heart monitor screen indicating my blood pressure was 130. He told me I had better health than he. I told him about the no salt added, primarily plant based, high fiber, nutrient dense diet I had started a few days earlier. Over the next year I went off medications for an enlarged prostate, was not producing any kidney stones and lost 14 pounds. I used my back inversion table more frequently. This reduced risk of back injury relapse. Months after the operation, I started a gluten free diet. My inflammatory bowel syndrome symptoms were eliminated. God rescued me. The hour I turned on the PBS station to hear a sermon about eating right, God was working a plan of healing salvation for me.

I remember something from Psalms, "Unless God builds the house, the workers work in vain." If you allow God to be your manager and follow the instructions, your works will not only help you, but may help others also.

I am lost.
To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.
It is a gigantic Book that tells us how to live a life that will be blessed by God. A life that does in fact follow God's commands, (which no one can do 100%). That is why He sent His one and only Son to pay our sin debt.
"Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
When we call on Jesus to forgive our sins, (repenting) and turn 180% from our sins and with our whole heart, trust in the Lord to forgive us, the Bible says that you will be forgiven, you have to trust that promise and with faith know that you are now a child of God. Not only a child of God but a co-heir with His Son of all the blessing of Heaven. You don't feel any earth shattering feelings when this happens, you only will feel what your faith allows. With rock solid faith you will feel the Joy that you have never felt before, a Joy that comes from within knowing that now you get to work for building His kingdom.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom. Nothing.
Don't be so impatient, everything works on God's timetable, not ours. He does indeed promise wisdom if you ask, and He gives it generously. But I can see that you are talking 'negative' to what you are asking. If you are already saying that I got 'Nothing', that is what you convinced yourself you are going to get, Nothing. Speak with the faith of receiving your wisdom, as soon as you pray for more wisdom, thank Him for the wisdom that He has/is giving you.
How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me? What am I doing wrong!?!
He talks to us in His word. He says that His words have gone out and will accomplish all that they are meant to, they will not return empty. When we revere His words as a helpful message to us on how to live our lives, and read His book as the truth that is revealed to us in His Son, that is when we hear Him talking to us.
ronandcarol

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

What am I doing wrong!?!
Am I asking for help in the wrong way???

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

I'm a college student studying computer science. I have an obsessive nature. I love to obsess over things that I enjoy and block out the rest of the world.

I don't see Jesus as the type who would be a computer scientist or obsess over studies.
So, I guess I should just abandon my love for computers and change to something else or drop out of college all together because Jesus would not obsess over anything, but I obsess over all of my studies.

I guess being a christian means that I have to walk along the sides of the street every day calling out for people to repent and turn to God, because that's exactly what I think Jesus would be doing right now.

I've also been reading about how people don't think playing video games is a christian thing to do, even is there is not violence in them.
I've been playing video games ever since I can remember.
I've successfully stopped playing violent games, but that's not good enough??

Also, Idols.
As I said before, I obsess over anything and everything I love to do.

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.
So, I guess that's an idol and I need to cut it out of my life.

I guess I need to cut everything I love out of my life that I love to obsess over completely and
just twiddle my thumbs and sleep when I have nothing to do.

How am I supposed to do all of this!?!

All I know is that I've been hearing "You're going to Hell if you're not a Christian" ever since I can remember.

If there was a switch that I could turn on that would make me ok with all of this, I would flip it immediately.
But of course there is not!
How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

Click to expand...

The questions/concerns/confusion you're expressing here is the core focus of the book The Salvation Enigma. It addresses just about everything you've mentioned. It's a small book and a quick read.

Heath18 said:

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

Click to expand...

I used to feel this way until I actually read the entire Bible, front to back multiple times. And then I realized that the bible isn't a rule book. It's a story of God's love for us.

Heath18 said:

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.

Click to expand...

I suggest Romans...happy little Romans.

The greatest commandment is to love the Lord Your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Sounds like this si where you are failing. In order to do that you need to know who God is and that comes through knowing Him. To know Him you need to have a revelation in your spirit of who He is. To have a revelation you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit so you can know Him better.

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

What am I doing wrong!?!
Am I asking for help in the wrong way???

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

I'm a college student studying computer science. I have an obsessive nature. I love to obsess over things that I enjoy and block out the rest of the world.

I don't see Jesus as the type who would be a computer scientist or obsess over studies.
So, I guess I should just abandon my love for computers and change to something else or drop out of college all together because Jesus would not obsess over anything, but I obsess over all of my studies.

I guess being a christian means that I have to walk along the sides of the street every day calling out for people to repent and turn to God, because that's exactly what I think Jesus would be doing right now.

I've also been reading about how people don't think playing video games is a christian thing to do, even is there is not violence in them.
I've been playing video games ever since I can remember.
I've successfully stopped playing violent games, but that's not good enough??

Also, Idols.
As I said before, I obsess over anything and everything I love to do.

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.
So, I guess that's an idol and I need to cut it out of my life.

I guess I need to cut everything I love out of my life that I love to obsess over completely and
just twiddle my thumbs and sleep when I have nothing to do.

How am I supposed to do all of this!?!

All I know is that I've been hearing "You're going to Hell if you're not a Christian" ever since I can remember.

If there was a switch that I could turn on that would make me ok with all of this, I would flip it immediately.
But of course there is not!
How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

Click to expand...

All you need to do, is focus on loving Him.

No, you don't need to give up your job.

I once was in a similar situation, but no, you don't have to give up your job.

Read from genesis - dueteronomy. These are the 5 books called the Torah. They are at the beginning of every bible, and in them are what the entire bible is built upon. If you want to know what God wants from you, read them.

I was struggling with what God wanted and expected from early on too. Which is a legitimate question. Mainstream Christianity glosses over this because of their vain traditions. But that feeling you have of not knowing what to do to please Him, it's normal at first. Pray that He guides you into truth regarding it. Pray for a softening of your heart, and for truth.

All that He expects is that you believe in your heart that Jesus died for you, and that you confess it with your mouth. As far as what you should do, well you should walk as He walked. How did He walk? He kept Torah. You'll not keep it perfectly, but the desire to keep it as best you can is proof of your deliverance. As Romans 8 says, the mind of flesh is at enmity against God, because it's not subject to God's laws, nor can it be. But, God's law is spirit, so if you desire it, that means your mind has been transformed from a fleshy mind to that of a spiritual one.

If you believe you are lost, then focus on the past, the good times. Rememberthe times when you had fun.

I believe the ten commandments should be followed and are good, but the Bible DOES say there's a time and place for all things, like war for instance.

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

What am I doing wrong!?!
Am I asking for help in the wrong way???

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

I'm a college student studying computer science. I have an obsessive nature. I love to obsess over things that I enjoy and block out the rest of the world.

I don't see Jesus as the type who would be a computer scientist or obsess over studies.
So, I guess I should just abandon my love for computers and change to something else or drop out of college all together because Jesus would not obsess over anything, but I obsess over all of my studies.

I guess being a christian means that I have to walk along the sides of the street every day calling out for people to repent and turn to God, because that's exactly what I think Jesus would be doing right now.

I've also been reading about how people don't think playing video games is a christian thing to do, even is there is not violence in them.
I've been playing video games ever since I can remember.
I've successfully stopped playing violent games, but that's not good enough??

Also, Idols.
As I said before, I obsess over anything and everything I love to do.

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.
So, I guess that's an idol and I need to cut it out of my life.

I guess I need to cut everything I love out of my life that I love to obsess over completely and
just twiddle my thumbs and sleep when I have nothing to do.

How am I supposed to do all of this!?!

All I know is that I've been hearing "You're going to Hell if you're not a Christian" ever since I can remember.

If there was a switch that I could turn on that would make me ok with all of this, I would flip it immediately.
But of course there is not!
How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

Click to expand...

This may help you...

and/or listen to this...
Living God Ministries - The Gospel

Grace and Peace

You should focus on God's commands and law, Not only thta, but mainly who he is and does for people, his love for you, his creation, and the goodness of his name. The good in him, and his good fatherly characteristics. The Jews and higher up in other churches blaspheme him behind his back and sometimes openly and they are just using him. God shall not be fooled by them, read God's whole book to find out what he wants from you and can do for you. Pray to him. I'm not sure which translation is best, but kjv is bad, it blasphemes and in it includes death or eternal torment to all young people and to Christ and his followers, both older and young, torment forever and ever. I bet the book of life is only a lie to make you think they'll have you when not. These are the enemies in high places, highest up deities who will turn o God and all young. Their utopia. Blasphemy is bad and should be done away with in one's life, It needs to be repented of, it's a bad idea....

Jesus came to save the Lost. Be patient, we grow over time.

Thir7ySev3n said:

Don't try so hard to discourage his every conviction. It's not helpful. We all have to examine our lives and most of all our hearts in times like this. I went through it for years myself.

And to answer your question from earlier, the KJV is not blasphemous. The best translations to my knowledge in terms of verbatim accuracy (word-for-word rather than though-for-thought) are the KJV, ESV and NASB.

Click to expand...

The kjv isn't blasphemous? Is it okay for Christ and his priests and people and children to suffer forever and ever, day and night? The islams are right, Christians had the bible right, but where they went wrong was the book of revelations.

David7818 said:

The islams are right

Click to expand...

Well, no.

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

What am I doing wrong!?!
Am I asking for help in the wrong way???

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

I'm a college student studying computer science. I have an obsessive nature. I love to obsess over things that I enjoy and block out the rest of the world.

I don't see Jesus as the type who would be a computer scientist or obsess over studies.
So, I guess I should just abandon my love for computers and change to something else or drop out of college all together because Jesus would not obsess over anything, but I obsess over all of my studies.

I guess being a christian means that I have to walk along the sides of the street every day calling out for people to repent and turn to God, because that's exactly what I think Jesus would be doing right now.

I've also been reading about how people don't think playing video games is a christian thing to do, even is there is not violence in them.
I've been playing video games ever since I can remember.
I've successfully stopped playing violent games, but that's not good enough??

Also, Idols.
As I said before, I obsess over anything and everything I love to do.

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.
So, I guess that's an idol and I need to cut it out of my life.

I guess I need to cut everything I love out of my life that I love to obsess over completely and
just twiddle my thumbs and sleep when I have nothing to do.

How am I supposed to do all of this!?!

All I know is that I've been hearing "You're going to Hell if you're not a Christian" ever since I can remember.

If there was a switch that I could turn on that would make me ok with all of this, I would flip it immediately.
But of course there is not!
How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

Click to expand...

Just wondering if "Heath18" has been back to read any of these great posts.

Lots of Christian brothers and sisters with heart felt concern but no return of the OP...

You still here Heath18?

Radagast said:

Well, no.

Click to expand...

If they believe it's wrong to kill Christ and his youth angels if needed and children or torment them forever they're right.

DreamerOfTheHeart said:

Your perception is wrong. What you need is the holy spirit. Without the Spirit, you will just remain lost.

Click to expand...

What is the holy spirit? Can one be saved by faith or the heart or moral conscience?

Heath18 said:

I've heard and read so much about "having a relationship with Jesus and God", but I just don't get it.

To me the Bible is a gigantic rule book telling you that if you don't follow every single detail of it, God will make you suffer for eternity.

How am I supposed to feel any love for that??

How am I supposed to just be like "Ok. My life means nothing. I'm just a puppet of God following all of His rules. I'm just a robot. I'm ok with all of this."

They say, "Call upon the name of the Lord while He may be found".
I try my best. I call out to both Jesus and God. Nothing. No feelings, no peace, no joy. Nothing.
I scream to both of them. I ask for understanding. I ask for wisdom.

Nothing.

How am I supposed to have a relationship with them if they won't even talk to me?

What am I doing wrong!?!
Am I asking for help in the wrong way???

1 John 2:6
"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did".

That scripture infuriates me because its telling me to give up everything I love to do and just be as Jesus was. I want to follow this rule, but it makes me angry because I love to do so many things that I can't see Jesus doing.

I'm a college student studying computer science. I have an obsessive nature. I love to obsess over things that I enjoy and block out the rest of the world.

I don't see Jesus as the type who would be a computer scientist or obsess over studies.
So, I guess I should just abandon my love for computers and change to something else or drop out of college all together because Jesus would not obsess over anything, but I obsess over all of my studies.

I guess being a christian means that I have to walk along the sides of the street every day calling out for people to repent and turn to God, because that's exactly what I think Jesus would be doing right now.

I've also been reading about how people don't think playing video games is a christian thing to do, even is there is not violence in them.
I've been playing video games ever since I can remember.
I've successfully stopped playing violent games, but that's not good enough??

Also, Idols.
As I said before, I obsess over anything and everything I love to do.

For example, I love to paint Bob Ross paintings.
The other day I watched Bob Ross videos for the entire day without having the desire to pick my Bible once.
So, I guess that's an idol and I need to cut it out of my life.

I guess I need to cut everything I love out of my life that I love to obsess over completely and
just twiddle my thumbs and sleep when I have nothing to do.

How am I supposed to do all of this!?!

All I know is that I've been hearing "You're going to Hell if you're not a Christian" ever since I can remember.

If there was a switch that I could turn on that would make me ok with all of this, I would flip it immediately.
But of course there is not!
How am I supposed to change my view of everything I have ever known!?!

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Keep knocking. Eventually, the door will open.

You are searching and that would not be happening if the Holy Spirit were not pulling you to do so. Don't get frustrated. A relationship with God is not about following strict rules. It is about finding trust in God. Trusting that he was your back on all things and letting go of what the world tells you.

Keep knocking and the door will open.