i am leaving

[ido]

if we have both agreed to work on our issues together then leaving would only hinder that. i want to work things out i don't want a divorce and neither does he

I'm still praying for you supermom. I hope you and your husband are able to strengthen your marriage through whatever means you can. Let me know if I can pray over anything specific for you. I'm already praying for strength and plenty of energy since you appear to have your hands full with 3 kids and a baby on the way.

 

[super mom]

my new meds seem to be working already less mood swings and when one does happen it is not as intense or last as long

 

[super mom]

thoguht things were going good but them i tood our counselor at church today how i thought things were going but just about 15 minutes ago my husband says to me i don't know why you told s***** things were going good when they haven't been at all. the thing is things have been better and i am at a point that if he doesn't want to seeit then i AM going to go. i was in bed all day yesterdayand the truth is i need to be in bed today as well but i can't because i have a mess of a house to clean cuz he has had the whole weekend off but yet has done VERY little to help me clean the house, and the deck is covered in dog stuff again and. guess who gets to clean it up? i am tired of having the dog around he does very little to ccare for her but wants to keep her i do most everything i can't take her downstairs outside anymore becaase it is geting to the point in my pregnancy that going that far is over soing it with everything that i have to do already. i mean he is cooking dinner tonight but i know i am not going to be able to eat it because of the amount of spice he uses i can't handle spicy stuff it makes me sick. i am so irritated that he thinks there has been no change in anything but yet we have been sleeping together again and other things saying i love you and getting intimate but yet he has seen no change, i don't get him anymore

 

[RJAZ]

Sounds like he is disrespectful like a kid himself but if you can let him know he's doing it first,you may see he's not aware. you aren't getting breaks are you?

 

[super mom]

nope no breaks and things have gotten worse since my las tpost i am done however our counselor wants us to try to continue wroking on things however i don't see things going anybetter seeing that he doesn't want to see any change in anything

 

[super mom]

he is now on the phone to whoever telling them that i am the problem and that this marriage is like his last i am a selfish self cetered abusive indvidual and telling me that i am not going to survive without him

 

[Bridgit]

If things get worse, even after all the counseling and attempts to make it work, then you need to take some time off from each other.

 

[super mom]

he may be leaving on another work contract till just before christmas soo there is some time off

 

[kanga22]

he may be leaving on another work contract till just before christmas soo there is some time off

Well PTL. That you can stay put while he leaves! There's nothing fair about him displacing you and the kids, and in your condition! If I were you I'd tell him to take the dog too. Put it in a kennel, give it to a friend, anything so you don't have to deal with it. I have two big dogs (that were of course my dh's idea) too. Guess which one of us cleans up after them and does ALL the care, while the other (he) doesn't lift a finger while he lays around making messes, vegging-out in front of the tv, and stinking up the place. (whew, that little rant makes me feel better, sry)

 

[super mom]

Well PTL. That you can stay put while he leaves! There's nothing fair about him displacing you and the kids, and in your condition! If I were you I'd tell him to take the dog too. Put it in a kennel, give it to a friend, anything so you don't have to deal with it. I have two big dogs (that were of course my dh's idea) too. Guess which one of us cleans up after them and does ALL the care, while the other (he) doesn't lift a finger while he lays around making messes, vegging-out in front of the tv, and stinking up the place. (whew, that little rant makes me feel better, sry)

he can't take the dog with him unfortunatly and his friend is going on the contract too so no chance of getting a break from the dog too. and i am worried about rent this month and next but i hopefully have an avenue that will help with that

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Super mom, you are right when you say it's best you stay so you can work on your marriage. I'm assuming your counselor has told you this. Separation usually isn't a good way to fix a marriage. I'm confused as to whether he's been abusive in the past because that really makes a difference.

Being pregnant also causes all kinds of hormonal changes that can make major decisions risky. I left my ex when I was 3 months pregnant, but it was way past time to do that. Of course once I calmed down I wanted to go to counseling, but my ex was so hurt from me leaving that it was months before he would go. The counseling didn't change anything because he rejected anything difficult for him and kept wanting to change counselors, but at least I knew I tried.

If you and your kids are safe, try to hang in there until things calm down after the new baby gets here and then try to really invest more into the marriage. Of course keep up with the counseling, but just keep in mind that a new baby is another adjustment and you both probably really need some peace right now.