i am leaving

[super mom]

today has been the last of it, i am leaving with the kids. ia got upset, because husband left a whole bunch of dirty messes all over the house for me to clean saying that he would get to them and he never got up to get them and he was expecting me to leave it there and clean around it as well as he refused to watch the kids and keep them out of the kitchen ( he was sitting there on the computer hollering out "come on get out of the kitchen quit harassing your mother" and not getting up to do any thing) then we got into a verbal fight and he refused to get out of my face telling me to make him. i threw the pan that i was holding to the floor rather then hit him with it. i would rather leave and take the kids with me and he can figure out how to do things on his own, him and his stupid dog that he is so attached to that he spends money on the dog and the kids nad forget about me

 

[cakes&buttercream]

Good for you. Just take care of yourself and your babies. Don't take that treatments from anyone.

 

[super mom]

it may be a while before i can get to another computer unless they have internet access at the ywca

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I pray things get better for you. Best of luck!

 

[super mom]

i am waitin till monday we will be safe it will be better because then we have access to more resorces

 

[pete56]

Sister, are you really sure this is the only way to resolve your issues?

I know raising a family is stresful and not just for the mother believe me!

Have you tried to figure out what sort of stresses your DH is under too, I assume he does provide for you and the kids in terms of home, food, clothes, health care and such?

Have you considered counselling? Have you spoken to a pastor? Have you spoken to God?

Sister I know I am jumping in here without knowing anything of your circumstances and I have no doubt that this issue has been building for some time, and I know that separation can be a great motivator for 'lazy guys', but it can equally blow up in everyone's face and children living in the Y will not get the sort of stable and considerate care that they really need, and I assume that bump on your CF dolly is another baby on the way!

All of these factors speak to me of a volatile emotional picture and your reaction, whilst understandable, is very unwise!

May I suggest that if you really want to separate for a time, that you kick your DH out and let him live in the squallor!

Pete

 

[super mom]

we do g ot ocounseling and it has done nothing because he cant admit to his error

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I understand your situation completely. There is no good that can come of this, it will end in something bad happening unless you leave. You are pregnant! He should be taking care of you and worshiping you for that if nothing else. You need to get out and protect yourself and your children, so that you can be healthy and happy. He has made his choice.

 

[dbhost]

I will only caution you to not let the Devil get a foothold in this situation.

 

[super mom]

unfortunatly he already has begun to get one

 

[pete56]

Im sorry to hear that this situation is so bad, but could you please enlighten me a little more, what is HIS error?

I only ask because in my experience most issues in marriage are down to communication and are generally influenced by BOTH parties.

You are young and have a lot of life ahead of you, your children are no doubt very young too, do you want them to grow up without there father?

The choice of course is still yours and you can either fight for your marriage - and yes dbhost is right to point out that this is a spiritual battle, so pray and pray hard first! Or you can surrender this ground to the devil and become another statistic in America's church going divorce rate.

Personally I hope that you fight.

Pete

 

[super mom]

i am trying to fight and have decided to stay a bit longer as long as i feel safe but as soon as i feel threatened physically again the kids and i are out and out fast i don't care if it is the midddle of the night becasue the battered womens shelter out here will send us a taxi to get us

 

[super mom]

i was able to get some sleep last night and i was hoping that would help the pain but it did not i still have some pain in my tummy i may have an infection going to the doctor today

 

[kanga22]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that it's gotten to this point. It makes me sad and worry for your safety. Thank God you know what is available to you (shelters) and how to contact them. It is very smart of you to have a plan in place BEFORE you need it.

Would it be possible to kick HIM out? If you end up divorced I believe that you are more likely to get custody of marital property if you stay there.

I'm trying to make a decision today about whether to kick my husband out for good too. In my case, I just can't take the emotional abuse any longer. Something has to change soon.

 

[super mom]

if i kick him out them the kids and i would have to move anyhow as we have no income to cover the rent at our apartment

 

[dayknee]

if i kick him out them the kids and i would have to move anyhow as we have no income to cover the rent at our apartment

If you ask him to leave so you two can have some space to think or to seek councel..are you saying he wouldn't continue to support you and the babies?
If that is your fear..that should tell you something right there sweetie.
I am praying for wisdom for you.

 

[super mom]

no i have no fear that he will nont support us but regulations of our apartment the tenant in the building must be working and a s my husband is the only one who can work right now well.... and we are trying something new since monday and haven't really fought since our last marriage counsleing session so that is a good thing as well as he is at work all day and tired when he gets home i don't really bother him so i guess i have seen some where along the lines of all this that i have been more at fualt then i had originally thought, yes he has been wrong as well but it is importnant that i see my error and fix it instead of concentrating on getting him to see his error and i ignore mine so.... thanks for all the prayer and support but the original plan is still in place if i feel threatened then the kids and i are gone

 

[GodNoel]

leave now before you break, protect your self and the kids. If you don't leave now you never will leave.

 

[super mom]

if we have both agreed to work on our issues together then leaving would only hinder that. i want to work things out i don't want a divorce and neither does he

 

[Adamantium]

if we have both agreed to work on our issues together then leaving would only hinder that. i want to work things out i don't want a divorce and neither does he

Good for you! If you two can find a way to work through this, your marriage will emerge stronger than ever.