I am hopeless

[jen_soccer13]

I just feel so hopeless right now. I am to the point of having so much going on that I can't concentrate on my classes now. That is never a good thing.

I have tried to stop cutting..but then it gets replaced with other things. I just feel like I have no hope of ever getting better. My life is a giant mess that I can't fix!

I have been feeling soo alone lately. And I don't know why because I have people to talk to that care. I am just to the point that I want to be alone. I go and run for hours at a time now. I am not supposed to be doing that because of my ribs and foot....but if I don't sometimes I feel like my chest is going to explode!

I just wish I could make it all go away.....but then I realise I can't...and I cut..
I just wanna stop cutting. It is spring..and nice..and I can't wear shorts (my cuts are mostly on my legs). I mean..I really don't care what others think at this point because so many have called me stupid that I am used to it. But if I do wear shorts and they see the cuts..I could be kicked out of college. My life is a mess

Sorry...I guess I am just venting...sorry. I just don't know how to pick up and move on from here. I think it is hopeless.

 

[Leta]

Jen hunny!

Don't you appologize for venting! That's what we're here for! I know what you're going through...we all do! You're running to get away from the pain and "mess" but it's still there when you stop. You cut to destract you from the emotional pain but when the cuts stop bleeding the problems are still there. I know i've been there and am there agian! When I am overwhelmed and fed up I binge just so I can purge but when I get up from the bathroom floor my struggles are still there. I cut and my problems don't go away. Do you know something though? Jesus also will not go away! He's there when we cut, run, binge, purge, starve. He weeps with us and for us. We are not alone and He is waiting for us to open our eyes and hearts to Him and let Him deliver us.
I feel like i've been babbling incoherently but I hope I have helped even a little bit. I love you Jen, please take care of yourself (and your ribs!)!
God Bless,
Saleta

 

[goldenviolet]

commere Jen !!!

Philippians 4:6-9
Be weary for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

i want to talk about this scripture. God's word is our food. we need it.
i would like to explore this all of us together. this passage is hope and peace. i want my lovely Jen and all of you to understand God's will for us.

 

[Bevlina]

Oh Jen! Don't worry about your legs Honey, there is special scar cover makeup now and we all want you to have a beautiful summer!
And, if you feel like venting, let it out. Don't hold it back in. You are precious to us and we want to see you all better again just laughing in the sunshine.

 

[BlackRain]

i'm praying for you, girl!

 

[sparrow]

I have been feeling soo alone lately. And I don't know why because I have people to talk to that care. I am just to the point that I want to be alone. I go and run for hours at a time now. I am not supposed to be doing that because of my ribs and foot....but if I don't sometimes I feel like my chest is going to explode!

Oh I can so relate to this hun... When I spend too much time around people I always want to be on my own as well. My counsellor says I'm quite a lonely person but sometimes I feel like it's just the way I am. I find it hard to let people in.
If you ever wanna talk or rant, I have MSN and you can add me (I think my address is in my profile) or feel free to PM me.
You're not falling apart. You're hanging in there. You're doing alright. Don't give up.

:hugs:

 

[jen_soccer13]

Well, my life just took the biggest downfall ever. I thought this would never come out of my past. I tried to forget it happened for 5 years..and now..it is back. Now someone other than me and the doctor knows. I feel horrible for it..and I never want to remember it hurts soo bad. I cna't forgive myself now I am more fallen apart than ever. I have alienated everyone that I talk to pretty much. Maybe I am meant to be alone. I just can't handle this pain. It is too much and too overwhelming. I need help ..can't bear to ask...and just can't deal. I am at a standstill with something I should have forgotten years ago. Why does this hurt soooo much. I know maybe I did the wrong thing..but I was 14 and scared and no one could no..i had to do it.
Now I am trying not to cut....but it is soo hard right now. It hurts so much inside. I think my chest is going to explode from pain.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

After learning some things about you you know what?
*hug*
I love you to pieces and don't think badly of you at all.

 

[SavedByTheShoes]

"there is one thing i must tell you there is one thing i must say, i can not take your burden untill you give it away"
that was the hardesy thing for me. No matter how stressful things get, give thoes stressful things to God. EX: School. In the morning before school or while your doing your homework or study or during school (which was the most help for me) say "God you know what I'm dealing with and that it is pulling me down. I give it to you because i don't know what to do. Help me be able to consentrate and do my best on this, and if i don't do good, Lord help me cop amen"
and you could say a prayer like that for anything. Jesus loves you. He spilled all his blood out wllingly so that you don't have to.

 

[WhereareyouGod?]

Love you hun!

you did what was right for you! no one can criticise you for that


*huge hugs*

Lizzie

 

[Bevlina]

"there is one thing i must tell you there is one thing i must say, i can not take your burden untill you give it away"
that was the hardesy thing for me. No matter how stressful things get, give thoes stressful things to God. EX: School. In the morning before school or while your doing your homework or study or during school (which was the most help for me) say "God you know what I'm dealing with and that it is pulling me down. I give it to you because i don't know what to do. Help me be able to consentrate and do my best on this, and if i don't do good, Lord help me cop amen"
and you could say a prayer like that for anything. Jesus loves you. He spilled all his blood out wllingly so that you don't have to.

Exactly. Cast all your cares onto God because He cares for you!