I Am Going To Dump Her !!!!!!

[4Bear]

I Am Going To Dump Her !!!!!!​

Renounce that and speak God's word over your wife, children, and marriage

Yes I know you thought that was a "joke". It wasn't. It was a prophecy.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Not displaying my dirty washing !

just sharing with friends (you lot)

I would have liked to say things have turned around, and we can all praise the Lord together. BUT..........

My family have been re housed in an even bigger property than we had before I got repossessed in July 2011. So we are over 18 months on from that time. Sadly my wife has chosen to dig her heels in, even more so it appears. Can't seem to get her to sit down, and reason and go over things at length or in detail. TOTAL RESISTANCE. Resentment, UN-forgiveness, bitterness (which she said she had every right to feel and still does). It has made her ill in reality and she can't seem to see the connection. what to do ????

If my husband had been gone for 15 months to 5 years, saw the kids only a handful of times in the last year, then came trouncing in to make demands about the house and where to live... Yeah, I'd dig my heels in too. You can't be separated, but head of her household.

The woman is resisting you? Well no kidding. Who's shocked? I'm not. And yes, she has a right to be just a tad bitter about the loss of a house and then the ex wandering in to dictate housing again, after he left 15 months or 5 years prior.

If my ex, who I haven't had any meaningful contact with in just about as long, came into my life and told me where to live, I'd give him directions to the nearest sand to pound as well. She's not being unreasonable, not even the slightest.

Well, my relationship with the kids is better, they attended my sisters Christmas party which my wife refused to come to. My sister spoke with her about moving on, and cleaning the slate (she is not a Christian) but all she got was NEGATIVITY...I picked up, from my sister that she was thinking if this is how Christians behave then whats the difference - FAIR POINT.

So you slam her for not going to your sister's Christmas party, then your sister sticks her nose into business that's not hers to tell her to move on, meanwhile you're ripped your wife won't take your authority about housing? Do you realize the double standard that comes in being upset she's not going to your family's functions, but then berate her for not moving on? She has moved on, and what she's moved on to doesn't include you. Which is entirely logical.

Seriously, leave your ex alone. Get a divorce. Let her get a divorce. Tell your family members to leave your ex alone. Get counseling.

I have done my best to keep in the Spirit, not given any more reasons to give my wife further ammunition - and this has probably got her madder.

Why do you care if you want her to move on? Just leave her be then.

Facts are, THOUSANDS get repossessed. It happens, due to job loss (as in my case) and other reasons.

So? Yes, it happens, but you know what? She has a right to be a little burnt about it, especially when the source of the housing problems pops up again after 15 months of leaving her with the kids to tell her about what to do with her housing. Thousands of people a year overdraft their bank accounts too, doesn't mean I'm not going to be a little mad if my husband does it to the point of bankruptcy and then leaves, only to come back more then a year later (or up to 5 years later) to tell me how to do a budget.

Now, I can sit it out with the best of them, but for how long ?

How have you sat out? Sat out of what? Ok, so you left your marriage, but after you do that you can't expect to just wander back and try to assume her household. Especially when we're talking a years long separation.

If you're waiting for her to have some sort of change-of-heart and want her to take you back. Two words: not happening. She's made it clear, despite your interjections and your sister's interference, she wants nothing to do with you. And honestly... There's a reason. You're not exactly endearing yourself to her by your behavior.

To be frank, I have met someone else, on a purely platonic level, who I am fond of.

I hope, hope, hope, hope, before you even DREAM of getting into another relationship, you get counseling.

I don't believe the Lord favors divorce from my studies, but its not the unforgivable sin.

I have been separated now for two years. 5 years in total on and off, whilst working away.

IS THIS RELATIONSHIP DEAD ?

YES. YES. YES. Very dead. As she's been trying to tell and show you. As your actions have proven. As common sense dictates.

Getting the feeling it is.......One thing I know, the Lord has made me stronger and been showing up far more than he ever has whilst I was under the 'dark cloud' at home. Makes you wonder.

Thanks for listening.

Counseling.

 

[mrhappy3]

Well put together - I appreciate you taking the time to do that.

Thanks, goes to all.

BTW - Dont know where you got the "dictating about housing" from......Bar that..a good post from a neutral.