...because I was officially labeled bipolar about a few months ago. I never get extreme mania or extreme depression. I just get severe anxiety or fatigue. . I also have ADHD, which was dx about 8 years ago. I have been on lamictal before and it was the only med that worked for me. Antidepressants usually don't make me worse, they just don't do ANYTHING except they do interrupt my sleep process and I tend to get insomnia. Ritalin helps me a lot when I am on the "tired" or "normal" stage but when I am anxiety-ridden, I can't take it or it makes my anxiety worse.
Anyways, I am breastfeeding and I work two days a week. I only take ritalin when I work and don't save the breastmilk for obvious reasons. I take clonopin 50 mg very rarely, only when the anxiety is through the roof. Valium actually doesn't even work on me, which is so very strange. My anxiety was so bad yesterday morning, I took a clonopin. About seven hours later, I got very depressed. Why?? Why would Clonopin cause me to go into the depression state. I am still depressed. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to cry and I don't know why. To make matters worse, this afternoon I got an evaluation at work and since it had a few areas of improvement, I am over evaluating my whole worth in this profession that I studied years for and used to get "glowing" reviews. I currently now have NO anxiety. Right now, Ritalin would help my fatigue and mood but I can't take it because I am breastfeeding and don't work until Monday.
So...I guess this is the proof that I am, in fact, bipolar. I was never completely aware of my depression episodes before because I just chalk it up to being normal...feeling a little down for a time. My anxiety level recently was higher than usual and now my depression is a little worse than typical for me. Perhaps my "highs" are getting higher in the form of more severe anxiety and the lows are getting lower. The anxiety is not like regular anxiety. I guess that is what you would call hypomania.
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The most confusing thing for me is when the doctor or nurse asks me to rate my mood or asks me when I feel "normal?" What the heck is normal? This is normal for me. I guess when I am on the right medication, I can answer that.
The dx of ADHD is not even a question. I definitely have that as well. I am so depressed just thinking about everything. My poor children have such a high possibility of getting bipolar. My husband also has bipolar II. His symptomology is a bit different. Sometimes he would get so depressed, he couldn't force himself to work. He has been through many jobs. When he took an antidepressant, Lexapro 20mg, he went through the roof with mania.
You would never guess we are bipolar. My husband and I seem like the most stable couple in the world. I hide things very well but internally I am a mess. This just stinks.
The doctor wants to put me on tripleptal. Anyone every take Lamictal and then Trileptal or vise versa. I want to hear about comparative experiences with both. I like Lamictal but I still had some anxiety on 250 mg. That is the reason why the doctor wants to try me on Trileptal. I don't want to try a medication that may make me extremely tired. When that happens, I shift to extreme depression.
I know I have jumped around a bit. I would love to hear someone say, "I can relate!!!"
Anyways, I am breastfeeding and I work two days a week. I only take ritalin when I work and don't save the breastmilk for obvious reasons. I take clonopin 50 mg very rarely, only when the anxiety is through the roof. Valium actually doesn't even work on me, which is so very strange. My anxiety was so bad yesterday morning, I took a clonopin. About seven hours later, I got very depressed. Why?? Why would Clonopin cause me to go into the depression state. I am still depressed. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to cry and I don't know why. To make matters worse, this afternoon I got an evaluation at work and since it had a few areas of improvement, I am over evaluating my whole worth in this profession that I studied years for and used to get "glowing" reviews. I currently now have NO anxiety. Right now, Ritalin would help my fatigue and mood but I can't take it because I am breastfeeding and don't work until Monday.
So...I guess this is the proof that I am, in fact, bipolar. I was never completely aware of my depression episodes before because I just chalk it up to being normal...feeling a little down for a time. My anxiety level recently was higher than usual and now my depression is a little worse than typical for me. Perhaps my "highs" are getting higher in the form of more severe anxiety and the lows are getting lower. The anxiety is not like regular anxiety. I guess that is what you would call hypomania.
|
The most confusing thing for me is when the doctor or nurse asks me to rate my mood or asks me when I feel "normal?" What the heck is normal? This is normal for me. I guess when I am on the right medication, I can answer that.
The dx of ADHD is not even a question. I definitely have that as well. I am so depressed just thinking about everything. My poor children have such a high possibility of getting bipolar. My husband also has bipolar II. His symptomology is a bit different. Sometimes he would get so depressed, he couldn't force himself to work. He has been through many jobs. When he took an antidepressant, Lexapro 20mg, he went through the roof with mania.
You would never guess we are bipolar. My husband and I seem like the most stable couple in the world. I hide things very well but internally I am a mess. This just stinks.
The doctor wants to put me on tripleptal. Anyone every take Lamictal and then Trileptal or vise versa. I want to hear about comparative experiences with both. I like Lamictal but I still had some anxiety on 250 mg. That is the reason why the doctor wants to try me on Trileptal. I don't want to try a medication that may make me extremely tired. When that happens, I shift to extreme depression.
I know I have jumped around a bit. I would love to hear someone say, "I can relate!!!"
