I am a bad aunt

[GodLovesCats]

Seriously, I don't want to yell at kids. I don't hate them. But I am like a cat toward little kids: I have to wait until they get older and start acting like adults to love and enjoy being with them. So when my 7 year old niece and nephew (twins) are bad from my perspecive, which is totally different from everyone else's because i have no maternal instinct, I don't feel like being a nice aunt.

This problem reached a new high when they and their older brother, who is 13, were awful in the car. My sister evem told Mom the punishment was not good enough. Unfortunately, in this situation, where I was trapped inside a car with three kids who were awful the whole time, all I wanted to do was yell at them. I could not help myself and yelled, f"I am mad at you!" in the younger nephew's face after he denied my comment that he was driving me crazy. I never, ever want any kid to be treated like that and did it only because talking soft does not work, but yelling does. I just wanted to emphasize the fact that he really is driving me crazy after deyning it.

Of course, as a Christian, this is not the way I want to be. I care about my sister's kids. I don't think they are bad kids or want them to stop liking me. I struggle with this because I know yelling is the only way to take control immediately and what happens must stop immediately if I can't do what I want, which is walk away from the situation. If it was not too hot out to walk (>90 degrees), I would have done that. But no way am I walking outside in those temperatures.

 

[Not David]

Seriously, I don't want to yell at kids. I don't hate them. But I am like a cat toward little kids: I have to wait until they get older and start acting like adults to love and enjoy being with them. So when my 7 year old niece and nephew (twins) are bad from my perspecive, which is totally different from everyone else's because i have no maternal instinct, I don't feel like being a nice aunt.

This problem reached a new high when they and their older brother, who is 13, were awful in the car. My sister evem told Mom the punishment was not good enough. Unfortunately, in this situation, where I was trapped inside a car with three kids who were awful the whole time, all I wanted to do was yell at them. I could not help myself and yelled, f"I am mad at you!" in the younger nephew's face after he denied my comment that he was driving me crazy. I never, ever want any kid to be treated like that and did it only because talking soft does not work, but yelling does. I just wanted to emphasize the fact that he really is driving me crazy after deyning it.

Of course, as a Christian, this is not the way I want to be. I care about my sister's kids. I don't think they are bad kids or want them to stop liking me. I struggle with this because I know yelling is the only way to take control immediately and what happens must stop immediately if I can't do what I want, which is walk away from the situation. If it was not too hot out to walk (>90 degrees), I would have done that. But no way am I walking outside in those temperatures.

I can understand getting annoyed with kids but you need to remember that they know nothing better and that Jesus loves kids and put them as examples.

 

[GodLovesCats]

Examples of what? He gives them free will to hit each other in the back seat of a car. They also have free will to stick tongues out at and pretend to lick a brother. If God lets a kid push his sister into his bother it is not an example of anything except how to make their aunt and grandma mad.

 

[Not David]

Examples of what? He gives them free will to hit each other in the back seat of a car. They also have free will to stick tongues out at and pretend to lick a brother. If God lets a kid push his sister into his bother it is not an example of anything except how to make their aunt and grandma mad.

Examples of faith. Don't get mad with kids who have barely develop their brains

 

[GodLovesCats]

Examples of faith. Don't get mad with kids who have barely developed their brains

Everyone was mad at them. And how can kids be excellent students academically with "barely developed" brains?

 

[Not David]

Everyone was mad at them. And how can kids be excellent students academically with "barely developed" brains?

Are you telling me that a smart 13 year old kid has the maturity of a 25 year old person?

 

[BioLeap]

Seriously, I don't want to yell at kids. I don't hate them. But I am like a cat toward little kids: I have to wait until they get older and start acting like adults to love and enjoy being with them. So when my 7 year old niece and nephew (twins) are bad from my perspecive, which is totally different from everyone else's because i have no maternal instinct, I don't feel like being a nice aunt.

This problem reached a new high when they and their older brother, who is 13, were awful in the car. My sister evem told Mom the punishment was not good enough. Unfortunately, in this situation, where I was trapped inside a car with three kids who were awful the whole time, all I wanted to do was yell at them. I could not help myself and yelled, f"I am mad at you!" in the younger nephew's face after he denied my comment that he was driving me crazy. I never, ever want any kid to be treated like that and did it only because talking soft does not work, but yelling does. I just wanted to emphasize the fact that he really is driving me crazy after deyning it.

Of course, as a Christian, this is not the way I want to be. I care about my sister's kids. I don't think they are bad kids or want them to stop liking me. I struggle with this because I know yelling is the only way to take control immediately and what happens must stop immediately if I can't do what I want, which is walk away from the situation. If it was not too hot out to walk (>90 degrees), I would have done that. But no way am I walking outside in those temperatures.

I don't want to make you feel worse than you are. But after reading your post I'm scratching my head wondering, if Jesus spirit is with you, why doesn't he just pop the answer to your issue in your mind?

Now would be good Jesus.

 

[Mel333]

Seriously, I don't want to yell at kids. I don't hate them. But I am like a cat toward little kids: I have to wait until they get older and start acting like adults to love and enjoy being with them. So when my 7 year old niece and nephew (twins) are bad from my perspecive, which is totally different from everyone else's because i have no maternal instinct, I don't feel like being a nice aunt.

This problem reached a new high when they and their older brother, who is 13, were awful in the car. My sister evem told Mom the punishment was not good enough. Unfortunately, in this situation, where I was trapped inside a car with three kids who were awful the whole time, all I wanted to do was yell at them. I could not help myself and yelled, f"I am mad at you!" in the younger nephew's face after he denied my comment that he was driving me crazy. I never, ever want any kid to be treated like that and did it only because talking soft does not work, but yelling does. I just wanted to emphasize the fact that he really is driving me crazy after deyning it.

Of course, as a Christian, this is not the way I want to be. I care about my sister's kids. I don't think they are bad kids or want them to stop liking me. I struggle with this because I know yelling is the only way to take control immediately and what happens must stop immediately if I can't do what I want, which is walk away from the situation. If it was not too hot out to walk (>90 degrees), I would have done that. But no way am I walking outside in those temperatures.

I think it's a hard thing looking after another's children. One of the biggest reasons is discipline and if you're not their mother, kids can be very difficult to supervise if they haven't been taught from the parents how to treat other people or behaviour or maybe they are bored.

So you have an issue with discipline that is hard to raise with another and you're having struggles managing anger during a very stressful situation. (Pretty sure everyone does!) Anger is an important emotion that alerts us of injustice but how one manages it during stressful times is an issue and it can get to the point of exploding into rage/swearing etc.

I suppose the bible verses that come to mind is studying how to speak with gentleness, kindness and correcting the children in a stressful situation. Other than that, we all fall short of being perfect. It's a lot of practice and it is even more practice to hold ones tongue when wronged.

Some bible verses:

Proverbs 10:19
"Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues." (I personally need to practice this one)

2 Timothy 2:25
"Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth."

Galatians 5:22-23
"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Oh and forgive yourself as Christ has already forgiven you . We all fall short of being 'good' people... but you can practice love the best in stressful situations.

Hope this helps in some way!

 

[GodLovesCats]

Are you telling me that a smart 13 year old kid has the maturity of a 25 year old person?

No, I am saying his brain is far from "barely developed." He knows better than to push and hit his sister.

 

[GodLovesCats]

It certainly does help Mel. Thank you!