Hypothetical for Scientists

[AV1611VET]

Could it be that maybe, taking into account the lack of evidence (and, as has been stated, the presence of contradictory evidence,) the flood didn't happen at all?

It didn't need cleaning up because it didn't happen.

The Bible says otherwise.

 

[Nathan Poe]

The Bible says otherwise.

So what?

 

[MrGoodBytes]

The Bible says otherwise.

That is correct. Since, however, we can find no evidence for the Flood, in fact quite a lot of evidence against and, as you just admitted, no mention of removed evidence exists in the Bible, you are left with two choices:

a) the flood never happened or
b) God is a deceiver.

Take your pick.

 

[Nathan Poe]

That is correct. Since, however, we can find no evidence for the Flood, in fact quite a lot of evidence against and, as you just admitted, no mention of removed evidence exists in the Bible, you are left with two choices:

a) the flood never happened or
b) God is a deceiver.

Take your pick.

Isn't there something about AV's argument that reminds you of Steven Wright's old line: "I woke up one morning to find that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica."

 

[MrGoodBytes]

Isn't there something about AV's argument that reminds you of Steven Wright's old line: "I woke up one morning to find that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica."

AV's arguments remind me of a lot of things, none of which I can repeat here.

 

[nvxplorer]

AV presents arguments? All I've seen are unsupported authoritative assertions.

 

[PacificPandeist]

AV's arguments remind me of a lot of things, none of which I can repeat here.

Hey, come on, be nice....

 

[FishFace]

The Bible says otherwise.

My infallible geology textbook says it does. So there.

 

[thaumaturgy]

Then I'll ask you.

Who cleaned up the Flood? Noah? Michael the Archangel? Gabriel? Who?

Hmmm, thas' a puzzler! And a right good one!

Considering that the BIble is blissfully unaware of a NEED to clean up the Global Flood (the authors knew even less about geology than most Christian Literalists do) and so they didn't write anything about it...oops I mean to say "God". Just put it in place of the phrase "authors" in the above sentence).

So, let's see. COnsidering we have now left the realm of rational and entered into funtime fantasy land, let me hazard a guess:

Noah started to clean up after the flood but found that his broom was unable to push 10 trillion tons of mud into nice ordered segregated layers of sediment alternative by random energy regimes, so he called Michael who was on leave for a week from Heavenly Duties. Michael was having a spat with his roommate, Gabriel so he told Noah that Gabriel would be glad to shovel some sediment around, but then he "forgot" to tell Gabriel. So later on at the bar, when Noah saw Gabriel all like down at the end of the bar chatting up these two chicks, he was like "Nuh huh! You dihnt'! I spent all day shoveling sediments into order layers all over the planet trying to clean up this global flood and YOU said you wanted to help me but you didn't even show up!"

ANd Gabriel was all like "Not in my face beeyotch! I didn't say I wanted to clean up the Global Flood and I most certainly didn't want to sweep up sediments into an orderly set of layers indicating anything BUT a global flood!"

And Noah was all like "talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listenin'!" And Gabriel was all like "Oh no, you messin' with the wrong angel, I ain't no Cherubiim who just fell off the turnip truck!"

And then Noah picks up a bar stool and slams it into Gabriel's face and knocks every other tooth out.

So in the end Jerry Springer had to come and clean up all the Global Flood.

I think if you have trouble finding this in scripture, you might just have to "keep looking".

 

[Nathan Poe]

Then I'll ask you.

Who cleaned up the Flood? Noah? Michael the Archangel? Gabriel? Who?

What flood?

 

[Yggdrasil]

Aaaaahahhaahaha



whenever I need a quick pick-me-up, or whenever I feel down I come on these boards specifically to read AV1611VET's posts to make me giggle.

 

[Gracchus]

Isn't there something about AV's argument that reminds you of Steven Wright's old line: "I woke up one morning to find that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica."

I am reminded of the aged academic who spent his whole professional life trying to prove that "The Iliad" was not written by Homer, but by another blind poet of the same name.

 

[mpok1519]

the story of Gilgamesh is the exact same instance; the flood really happened, it just wasn't world-wide.

AV>> stay in school kid. You'l actually find knowledge interesting and and intriguing if you give it a chance.

 

[FishFace]

Hmmm, thas' a puzzler! And a right good one!

Considering that the BIble is blissfully unaware of a NEED to clean up the Global Flood (the authors knew even less about geology than most Christian Literalists do) and so they didn't write anything about it...oops I mean to say "God". Just put it in place of the phrase "authors" in the above sentence).

So, let's see. COnsidering we have now left the realm of rational and entered into funtime fantasy land, let me hazard a guess:

Noah started to clean up after the flood but found that his broom was unable to push 10 trillion tons of mud into nice ordered segregated layers of sediment alternative by random energy regimes, so he called Michael who was on leave for a week from Heavenly Duties. Michael was having a spat with his roommate, Gabriel so he told Noah that Gabriel would be glad to shovel some sediment around, but then he "forgot" to tell Gabriel. So later on at the bar, when Noah saw Gabriel all like down at the end of the bar chatting up these two chicks, he was like "Nuh huh! You dihnt'! I spent all day shoveling sediments into order layers all over the planet trying to clean up this global flood and YOU said you wanted to help me but you didn't even show up!"

ANd Gabriel was all like "Not in my face beeyotch! I didn't say I wanted to clean up the Global Flood and I most certainly didn't want to sweep up sediments into an orderly set of layers indicating anything BUT a global flood!"

And Noah was all like "talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listenin'!" And Gabriel was all like "Oh no, you messin' with the wrong angel, I ain't no Cherubiim who just fell off the turnip truck!"

And then Noah picks up a bar stool and slams it into Gabriel's face and knocks every other tooth out.

So in the end Jerry Springer had to come and clean up all the Global Flood.

I think if you have trouble finding this in scripture, you might just have to "keep looking".

I'm *still* laughing out loud...

 

[Chalnoth]

the story of Gilgamesh is the exact same instance; the flood really happened, it just wasn't world-wide.

This makes Genesis a plagiarized and reimagined copy of the much older Epic of Gilgamesh. It doesn't make either description accurate.

 

[Nathan Poe]

This makes Genesis a plagiarized and reimagined copy of the much older Epic of Gilgamesh. It doesn't make either description accurate.

Unless we want to proclaim Gilgamesh as divinely inspired and infallible as well.

 

[mpok1519]

nothing is infallible; if every Bible besides one burned up in a world-wide religious holocaust, that one last Bible would need to be destruction proof if it were infalliable.

I think God speaks to us in many languages, some of which we cannot understand.

This is why I believe God is mysterious and cannot be chained to human "rules", yet folks like AV love to restrict God to a small and old book that doesn't change in an ever-changing universe. Its unprogressive folks that keep God in a bottle. Yes, it is a GREAT manuscript with tons of helpful advice and excellent tips on how to treat others, but the smallest and irrelevant details within (when taken individually, NOT AS A WHOLE along with the rest of the Bible) are what people pander for their own means.

 

[MarcusHill]

Unless we want to proclaim Gilgamesh as divinely inspired and infallible as well.

Except that we have copies of the Epic that date from much closer to the time they were first written than any of the "infallible Word of God". I've even seen such a copy with my own eyes.

 

[PacificPandeist]

Except that we have copies of the Epic that date from much closer to the time they were first written than any of the "infallible Word of God". I've even seen such a copy with my own eyes.

The Epic of Gilgamesh, awesome story.... no doubt it is as likely to be historically true than the Bible, but that does not disprove either....

 

[lucaspa]

His idea , which I would label as the Omphalos hypothesis ( although he is in denial about this ) is not disprovable, in as much as Last Thursdayism can't be disproved.

Yes, Oomphalos is not disprovable by science. The irony here is that is is disprovable by Christian theology. That Bible you refuse to acknowledge is either inspired or accurate theologically disproves Oomphalos.

The Bible repeatedly states that God is trustworthy and tells the truth. Oomphalos has God be a liar. Christians can falsify "Last Thursdayism" based on evidence that you, ironically, won't accept as valid.

Ah, yes. The irony meter has pegged out at maximum again.