Husbands love your wives...

[reid.stady]

So I'm not a husband, but pretty darn close. I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 & 1/2 years, and I'm at the point where it's obviously a very committed relationship. I know and can tell with full assurance that she completely and sincerely LOVES me, and she is an incredible woman who I adore, and yet somehow, not just with my relationship with her, but with everything else in my life, I've gotten to this point of thinking that I'm entitled to things, and even to her. I have this attitude of "this is mine" toward things, and unfortunately, even to her.

I do NOT want to get married with this kind of heart toward her, I want to have a heart toward her of absolute thankfulness for being able to have her in my life, and I don't ever want to put her in a marriage with kids if this is the kind of heart that I'm going to have for the rest of my heart toward her.

How can I as a Christian get out of this slump of thinking that somehow I've earned her or something, but instead think of her as this most incredible blessing that God has bestowed on me? She really is a fantastic woman, and people tell me all the time that I'm so blessed to have her, and I know they're right.

What can I do to get a change of heart about this, and even more importantly, to have a heart toward God and all that He's blessed me with that's completely and sincerely thankful? Posts by men, and even better, married men that have somehow overcome this would be greatly appreciated.

 

[The Nihilist]

Get her to dump you for a week

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[reid.stady]

Thank you so much for your words both

 

[Luther073082]

Well there is a important balance that needs to be maintained here.

First of all you didn't "earn her". I don't like that type of language.

However if you are saying "She is mine" then you have to look at things in a balanced way. If you are married then yes she is yours and you are hers. But this does not entitle you to own her or command her around. It also does not entitle you to inappropriate levels of jealousy.

But here is what it does entitle you to when you are married. (Be aware that the reverse is true.)
1. The right to "sign off" on any major changes to appearence.
2. A vote and a voice in major family decisions, no matter what topic they are.
3. The right to be her only romantic & sexual partner.

Now even though you might have these "rights", they don't remove the necessity of being thankful for her being in your life. You should thank God and you should be thankful to her that she is willing to accompany you in your life like this.

If you can't be thankful for her then you need to work on your ability to be thankful for things. As it was pointed out earlier we are entited to nothing (save for death and hell). But God gives us many gifts. And if you can't be thankful to him for a woman in your life. Then how can you be even more thankful to him to more abstract things such as the forgivness of sins?

Also all I can say is imagine your life without her. The Lord gives and he takes what is his. (And she like you are his). You can't ever forget that something could happen that changes this all. She could change her feelings about you or worse she could die early.