Husband won't go to Catholic Church with me (or let me take our daughter)

Lily5

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My husband and I were never church-goers until recently. We starting going to a ND church and tried a few Protestant churches because those are the only ones he will go to.

His family is Orthodox but he (now) says he is not one himself as he doesn't feel a part of that church. We were married in that church several yea ago.

After a lot of thought and prayer, I think I want to go to the Catholic Church. My family is Catholic, and I consider myself to be one too although I'm not a very good Catholic since I don't attend church.

Our daughter is nearly a year and I very much want to get her baptized. After much thought, I feel strongly about baptizing and raising her in the Catholic Church.

My husband strongly opposes the Catholic Church. He doesn't want to attend mass with me, so I'm unable to take my daughter to church. I don't know what to do.
 

Tolworth John

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Your options are, go as a family to a church, settle at that church and raise your family in that church.
stop attending church, or if you must attend a catholic church and he won't leave him.

What is important is that you all attend a hurch as a family and take part in the activities of that church.

Talk about the churches in your area, attend there services and discuss them and choose one you can both attend.
 
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Albion

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A baptism celebrated (i.e. administered) in any of the mainline Protestant churches would be considered valid by the Catholic Church, so this might be a way to solve your immediate problem, although it wouldn't resolve the bigger issue of finding a church home that the whole family can agree to.
 
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miamited

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Hi lily,

I sincerely hope that you won't be offended by my comments. My encouragement would be to stay away from gatherings of the Catholic organization. Yes, I understand that you were raised Catholic and that your family is predominantly Catholic, but you really should be aware of the contradictions between their teachings and the teachings of the Scriptuires. You could be putting your entire family in jeopardy.

Secondly, I would advise that you hold off on having your baby baptized. You should do a bit of study, biblically, on what baptism is and why it is done. Baptism is not something that you have done to someone else. It is something that someone has done of their own volition.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted
 
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HereIStand

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That sounds like a difficult situation. If you are convinced that you want to attend the Catholic church, maybe try attending alone some, and also go some to an evangelical church with your husband and daughter. (Sadly, most mainline churches aren't worth the effort to attend.) Maybe there is a Saturday evening mass that you could go to some. As far as baptism for your daughter is concerned, try finding a non-mainline Presbyterian or Lutheran church in which to have her baptized.

With prayer and in time, the situation can improve. God Bless.
 
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Albion

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He is uninterested in attending any church now. I think he would just rather stay home and play video games.

I'm failing my daughter by not raising her in a church. And I am failing her by not having her baptized.
At one year of age, she's not missing out on being raised in a church, I don't think. In time, of course, that will change, so you still have a little time now when it comes to what to do about this part of the problem.

As for the Baptism, you might just speak with the Catholic pastor and ask him what you should or can do in your situation--so long as your husband is okay with you doing that, I mean.
 
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AlexDTX

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My husband and I were never church-goers until recently. We starting going to a ND church and tried a few Protestant churches because those are the only ones he will go to.

His family is Orthodox but he (now) says he is not one himself as he doesn't feel a part of that church. We were married in that church several yea ago.

After a lot of thought and prayer, I think I want to go to the Catholic Church. My family is Catholic, and I consider myself to be one too although I'm not a very good Catholic since I don't attend church.

Our daughter is nearly a year and I very much want to get her baptized. After much thought, I feel strongly about baptizing and raising her in the Catholic Church.

My husband strongly opposes the Catholic Church. He doesn't want to attend mass with me, so I'm unable to take my daughter to church. I don't know what to do.

Perhaps this advice from Paul will help.

1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Paul's main point in chapter 7 is to not rock the boat. Let God and the freedom of our wills play out.

In my opinion you are better off not going to any church at this time, but to seek the Lord on your own to gain his wisdom on the matter.
 
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evoeth

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He doesn't want to attend mass with me, so I'm unable to take my daughter to church. I don't know what to do
Can you just go without him or does he oppose his daughter being raised in the Catholic church?

I'm failing my daughter by not raising her in a church. And I am failing her by not having her baptized.
That is really not the case. As terrifying as it might seem, those of us raised without churches come out just fine. It's more important to teach your daughter the fundamentals of moral decision making(reciprocity mostly) and the critical thinking necessary to apply them.
 
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chevyontheriver

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Your options are, go as a family to a church, settle at that church and raise your family in that church.
stop attending church, or if you must attend a catholic church and he won't leave him.
Unless he absolutely refuses to allow her to practice her faith, or becomes violent about it, it is not the place of a believing spouse to separate. If she can live in peace as a believer with an unbeliever, she should do so. Only if he is violent, threatening, or prevents her from practicing her faith does she have any basis to think about a separation.
What is important is that you all attend a church as a family and take part in the activities of that church.
Not so much. What is important is that both be allowed the freedom by the other to pursue truth, even if that doesn't promote an 'ideal' of worshiping together.
[/QUOTE]
Talk about the churches in your area, attend there services and discuss them and choose one you can both attend.[/QUOTE]
She has tried that. Done all the due diligence one could ask for. Gone to the local churches and found that she wants to go to the Catholic one. Her husband has issues with his Orthodox Church and that seems to carry over to the Catholic Church. He needs to stop being a rebel to his faith and dictator in his home and start being a caring Christian husband. He's probably a good guy, but on this he needs work.
 
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HawgWyld

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Hi lily,

I sincerely hope that you won't be offended by my comments. My encouragement would be to stay away from gatherings of the Catholic organization. Yes, I understand that you were raised Catholic and that your family is predominantly Catholic, but you really should be aware of the contradictions between their teachings and the teachings of the Scriptuires. You could be putting your entire family in jeopardy.

Secondly, I would advise that you hold off on having your baby baptized. You should do a bit of study, biblically, on what baptism is and why it is done. Baptism is not something that you have done to someone else. It is something that someone has done of their own volition.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted

I'm Southern Baptist and this line of reasoning bothers me as I have a deep respect for the Catholic church. Without the Catholic church defending and spreading the faith, there would be no Christianity at all. I sincerely doubt the OP could put her family in danger by aligning it with the organization that can trace its origins back to Peter.
 
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chevyontheriver

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My husband and I were never church-goers until recently. We starting going to a ND church and tried a few Protestant churches because those are the only ones he will go to.

His family is Orthodox but he (now) says he is not one himself as he doesn't feel a part of that church. We were married in that church several yea ago.

After a lot of thought and prayer, I think I want to go to the Catholic Church. My family is Catholic, and I consider myself to be one too although I'm not a very good Catholic since I don't attend church.

Our daughter is nearly a year and I very much want to get her baptized. After much thought, I feel strongly about baptizing and raising her in the Catholic Church.

My husband strongly opposes the Catholic Church. He doesn't want to attend mass with me, so I'm unable to take my daughter to church. I don't know what to do.
Will he allow you to go by yourself? If so, do that. Get into a regular habit of confession, and also a regular habit of spiritual direction. See the priest about that and have him help you with setting up spiritual direction for yourself. Read the Bible, Catechism, and other good spiritual books, even following a plan if that makes sense. Get involved in a small group through that Catholic parish. Don't be 'fanatical' but do be fully engaged.

Then pray unceasingly for your husband. Don't fight about it at all. Forgive him everything. With the help of your faith be the best wife you possibly can be. Leave the rest in God's hands.

Pray for your daughter unceasingly as well. Maybe more sons or daughters will come along as well. Hold them all to your heart. Some day they may ask why they are absolutely forbidden to go with their mother to a Catholic Church. Your husband will have some explaining to do then. But hopefully he will soften over the months and years.

You mentioned that you 'are not a very good Catholic'. God is not going to dwell on the past at all. Go to confession and unburden yourself. Tell the whole story, edited only a bit for brevity. Make an appointment if it's going to be long. You will find it much lighter walking around having dumped those burdens. Then be at mass when you can, Sunday morning, Saturday evening, during the week, you have many options.

Your in-laws, if they are practicing prayerful Orthodox, are undoubtedly praying for their son and for you. Consider that a blessing. Thank them for doing so.
 
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miamited

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I'm Southern Baptist and this line of reasoning bothers me as I have a deep respect for the Catholic church. Without the Catholic church defending and spreading the faith, there would be no Christianity at all. I sincerely doubt the OP could put her family in danger by aligning it with the organization that can trace its origins back to Peter.

Hi hawg,

Well, just so you know, I firmly disagree with that understanding. Those who are called out began without the Catholic organization and they would still exist today if that Catholic organization had never existed. God's word promises that there will always be a remnant.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted
 
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Mountainmike

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Miamitied: Not true, and not helpful.


To the OP: My suggestion is read yourself: books such as Madrids series "reason to believe" which are life stories of many protestants some in similar situations to you of a partner that opposed catholicism, indeed most of the authors opposed catholicism, many were even protestant pastors but discovered the anticatholic rhetoric is myth and illinformed, and by study of scripture and early church converted back to rome.

The point is the life stories are by and large only 20 pages long, but cover the apologetic arguments that led people back, and reconciled differences in catholic protestant relationships - and they can be a foundation for discussion with your partner to break down the barriers, leading to your partners opposition. So over time - achieving the result you want for your child.

Good Luck, and may God be with you.

Hi lily,

I sincerely hope that you won't be offended by my comments. My encouragement would be to stay away from gatherings of the Catholic organization. Yes, I understand that you were raised Catholic and that your family is predominantly Catholic, but you really should be aware of the contradictions between their teachings and the teachings of the Scriptuires. You could be putting your entire family in jeopardy.

Secondly, I would advise that you hold off on having your baby baptized. You should do a bit of study, biblically, on what baptism is and why it is done. Baptism is not something that you have done to someone else. It is something that someone has done of their own volition.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted
 
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Mountainmike

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Sounds like you havent studied the early church!
Indeed where your bible comes from!
Without catholic councils you would not have a new testament!

Hi hawg,

Well, just so you know, I firmly disagree with that understanding. Those who are called out began without the Catholic organization and they would still exist today if that Catholic organization had never existed. God's word promises that there will always be a remnant.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted
 
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little1

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I'm Southern Baptist and this line of reasoning bothers me as I have a deep respect for the Catholic church. Without the Catholic church defending and spreading the faith, there would be no Christianity at all. I sincerely doubt the OP could put her family in danger by aligning it with the organization that can trace its origins back to Peter.
This restored my hope in Christians. I am very happy to see a southern babtist brother defend, even a tiny bit the chatholic church. Now I'm neither but I know both . I did not know my Protestant brothers knew about the councils and the early church. In Australia no one seems to read history lol but God bless you sir you really encouraged me tonight.
 
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Mountainmike

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Hi hawg,

Well, just so you know, I firmly disagree with that understanding. Those who are called out began without the Catholic organization and they would still exist today if that Catholic organization had never existed. God's word promises that there will always be a remnant.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted
Study history and prove yourself wrong all counts.
Study where your bible came from!

Christ gave us apostles, not a new testament. So the early church handed the faith down by "word of mouth and letter" (to use Pauls Phrase) by appointed successors of the apostles- that handing down "paradosis" is the word now translated as tradition. Study the early writings - eg ignatius to Smyrneans, (he and polycarp disciples of John the apostle, so first generation successor christians), you see a church that was liturgical, sacramental, believed in real presence in eucharist only valid if conducted by succession bishops or their appointees. In short the acorn that became the catholic church.

Do you have succession bishops or appointees in your church to perform a eucharist of the real presence? If you don't you are not following Christs church!

Christ gave the power to "bind and loose" doctrine ( that is pronounce inspired interpretation of it ) separately we see in scripture, to both to successors of Peter - the office of keys , and also to the apostles together, which is how councils came to be, the first we see in Acts.

Later councils opposed many heresies, and also - later- decided the Canon that you call the new testament. As scripture tell us, the "pillar and foundation of truth is the church" - "the household of God", and you see how that is manifested acting through councils

Other than sects declared heretical, eg gnostics, arians, The church was a united whole. Now study what those fathers believed who chose your new testament, and see that they were vociferous for example in support of veneration of , and asking for the intercession of Mary. In short it WAS THE CHURCH, which was the catholic church. Take Augustine - who presided the final council that decided your new testament at Hippo - in seeking authority against donatism, lists ALL the bishops of Rome from the first as opposers of donatism. Why so - Why did he choose to cite the list of names of all the popes as successors of Peter? Because Rome was THE (divinely) appointed AUTHORITY as successor of Peter, and those who decided your new testament clearly believed it so!.

The only reason other fragments got named is when they schismed away.
Till then the church did not need a name, it was Christs Church. It was given a description "catholic". universal. It did not need a name. Only when others moved away did it retain the description, so title that became its name.

The modern - and provably false - man made tradition of "sola scriptura" - did not exist and could not exist until the printing press , the ability to read, and living standards allowing people to own a bible allowed the cult of "bible christians". Proof it is a falasy is seen in the fact that with the bible alone, ignoring both authority and history, protestants have mutually exclusive interpretations of every aspect of doctrine. From eucharist, to baptism, ife issues, LGBT, salvation, clergy ....you name it protestants disagree on it for the very reason that Luthers empowering of "the priesthood of all believers" to determine doctrine is both unscriptural a #FAIL.
Sola scriptura is the doctrine that launched 10000 schisms, and the need to name churches at all.

Meanwhile the "pillar of truth is the church" - the one that has lasted 2000 years doctrine essentially unchanged. because truth does not change. Meanwhile all others blow with populist wins on LGBT issues, contracteption, abortion and so on...because they are founded on other than Christ. They are founded on the whims of the one who decided he did not like the doctrine of other churches, so schismed away to form a new church in the founders image (eg Luther as one of the first) not the image of Christ.
 
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chevyontheriver

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Study history and prove yourself wrong all counts.
Lets hope that this thread can get back to advice about a particular woman's situation and not devolve into anti-Catholic rhetoric and response. There is plenty of that without anti-Catholic poisoners poisoning every possible thread. Go poison some other thread of your own making. Go call it "harlot of Babylon". Wait. Someone did that one just last week. But you get the idea. This thread is about someone whose husband has different ideas about what he will allow for their young daughter.
 
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Lily5

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Can you just go without him or does he oppose his daughter being raised in the Catholic church?


That is really not the case. As terrifying as it might seem, those of us raised without churches come out just fine. It's more important to teach your daughter the fundamentals of moral decision making(reciprocity mostly) and the critical thinking necessary to apply them.

Will he allow you to go by yourself? If so, do that. Get into a regular habit of confession, and also a regular habit of spiritual direction. See the priest about that and have him help you with setting up spiritual direction for yourself. Read the Bible, Catechism, and other good spiritual books, even following a plan if that makes sense. Get involved in a small group through that Catholic parish. Don't be 'fanatical' but do be fully engaged.

Then pray unceasingly for your husband. Don't fight about it at all. Forgive him everything. With the help of your faith be the best wife you possibly can be. Leave the rest in God's hands.

Pray for your daughter unceasingly as well. Maybe more sons or daughters will come along as well. Hold them all to your heart. Some day they may ask why they are absolutely forbidden to go with their mother to a Catholic Church. Your husband will have some explaining to do then. But hopefully he will soften over the months and years.

You mentioned that you 'are not a very good Catholic'. God is not going to dwell on the past at all. Go to confession and unburden yourself. Tell the whole story, edited only a bit for brevity. Make an appointment if it's going to be long. You will find it much lighter walking around having dumped those burdens. Then be at mass when you can, Sunday morning, Saturday evening, during the week, you have many options.

Your in-laws, if they are practicing prayerful Orthodox, are undoubtedly praying for their son and for you. Consider that a blessing. Thank them for doing so.

It's not that he won't 'let' me go to the Catholic Church myself; however, he doesn't want me to take my daughter without him (and he doesn't want to go & I cannot go by myself because he cannot take care of our daughter himself while recovering from surgery -- this situation doesn't apply specifically to church, my daughter and I also can't go to my sister's wedding shower etc).
 
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HawgWyld

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This restored my hope in Christians. I am very happy to see a southern babtist brother defend, even a tiny bit the chatholic church. Now I'm neither but I know both . I did not know my Protestant brothers knew about the councils and the early church. In Australia no one seems to read history lol but God bless you sir you really encouraged me tonight.

That may be due to far too many religion classes in college. That, and the fact I heard a lot of Catholic bashing growing up and learned from my parents that such nonsense was not to be tolerated.

Frankly, Christians should pay more attention to what we believe in common than what we don't ("Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis drives that point home very well). I don't agree with everything the Catholic church believes, but I don't agree with everything Southern Baptists believe, either. And, when you get down to it, a number of positions that Southern Baptists and Catholics take on social issues are remarkably similar.
 
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