Husband probably an Aspie... for real?

[forestberry21]

We strongly suspect that my husband is an Aspie although he has yet to be diagnosed. All of the classic symptoms are there. I find I struggle with this more than he does. He knows that he percieves th world diffrently than most people, but as it's the only way he's ever percieved the world, it's the norm for him. The difficulties I run into are trying to understand him. If he's behaving nergatively in any way, I have a hard time discerning if he really can't help it or if he's just milking it for all it's worth. His mother can apparently tell the diffrence. Often my husband seems very controling and manipulative... oversensitive and clingy. His mother says that one of the results of testing done when he was four is that he's very manipulative. (I hope and pray it's not intentional.) I'm very submissive in nature and blessed with a lot of patience. As is common with Aspies, my husband is also a genius with an IQ of 145. All of this said, what concerns me is that I'll suffocate. I feel as though I can't trust him on this level. He's smarter than me and in a position of leadership over me. How can there be unity if my mind works like a boat in water and his works like a bike on dry land. Also... what happens when we have children?
I'm 24 and he's 26. We will have been married 2 years this September.

 

[Sabertooth]

Is he saved?

1. God made you to be his helpmeet. In your prayer life, ask God to show you how to do that. God will certainly honor that kind of prayer, but God will answer that from His perspective which is higher than ours [Isa. 55:9].

God has reached me about my controlling behaviors, when it comes to my wife. Early in our marriage, I was very manipulative with her, trying to "encourage" what I thought were less destructive habits. God got ahold of my heart and showed me that even if I succeeded in bringing about those changes, the best I could hope for was to make her into my image.

The folly of that lifestyle became crystal clear. No matter how right I may have been about certain issues, God's plan was not only about what was to be changed, but also when these changes were to be initiated. And, on my own, I am clueless about what it takes for her or me to conform to the image of Christ [Rom. 8:29] from where we now stand.

That has had the effect of me just availing myself to God [on her behalf] and to her as He sees fit to use me, with no agenda.

2. The more you pray for your husband, the more your love and understanding will grow for him. If he IS an Aspie, he has already had to adjust to the culture of the NTs to a certain extent, but you learning [his] Aspie [mindset] will greatly improve your communications.

3. IF he truly is an Aspie --you will need to get a diagnosis, first--, there are many internet sites to support our NT family members. My DW doesn't use them; she doesn't like computers or the internet.

 

[loudatheist101]

I have Aspergers myself.

The great thing about aspergers is that it makes you smart. Einstien and Bill Gates had and have it for example.

The one thing I notice is that while we can be very intelligent, we can also be very clumsy and selfish, not sure why this is. But I sure do feel it. I can't help it. I also only eat hamburgers with NOTHING but ketchup on them when we go out to dinner. That is all I eat. Its really bad but its a routine I do not like to stop.

Also to the comment above me, "Is he saved" is your first question...?