Husband having a rough time

[Flipper]

Not sure where else I can post this. I guess this is more of a rant than anything.

My husband is a retail pharmacy manager. He just stepped back into management last October - has been at the store he's at since then. About a month ago, one of the techs accused him of sexual harassment. Loss Prevention was called in and determined the claims were completely unfounded. If you knew my husband, you would be laughing at this - I was, until wife-mode kicked in and then I got very concerned.

Long story short, it looks like the tech is seeing an attorney and has stated to her co-workers that she wants a new car so she's going to sue. While there are lots of witnesses for my husband, management is 110% behind him, and it looks like everyone has done what they are supposed to do in this situation, I don't think it's going to go away soon. I work for lawyers, so I know the process, which I kind of wish I didn't, because I know that even though he didn't do anything wrong, he's going to have to go through the process, which can be like going to Hell and back.

I'm listening to him, being there for him, assuring him that he did everything right, praying for him, praying with him. I know I should put this in God's hands, that everything is going to be ok, but I really am worried about and for him. He says he isn't going to let it bother him, but of course it is. He's second guessing himself and his decisions now. He's regretting going back into management. This isn't worth the payraise.

Have any of you ever been through this?

 

[obuchiteck]

I can truly understand what you all are going through and all I can say is be very happy that this happening. Going through this ordeal has the potential to make you a stronger person and a better couple. I lost everything I owned fighting my battle. Even after I was found Innocent! ; yet when it was over I developed into a person that I must say, I'm trully proud of. Prepare for a fight, and prepare for a long hard process. Just remember. This won't last a lifetime and you will recover from this. I mean it!

 

[Tangnefedd]

I am so sorry for you and your husband that is awful

We have a lovely Indian husband and wife doctors. they are both wonderful and we feel really comfortable with them. Much to our horror he was charged with examining a woman internally for his own sexual gratification! Now if you knew our doctor at all, you would realise what nonsense that was. The woman said this had happened in 1984, yet was happy to stay with the practice until 1999! The woman was a policeman's wife and the police went on a fishing trip and asked other women patients leading questions, and of course found a few who said he had examined their breasts inappropriately etc,etc!!! To cut a long story short, after the tension of waiting for two years for the case to come to court, he was found not guilty on all charges. It is only now that the local health authority has fully reinstated him, five years later! It would appear that there was a racist element to the charges the women were white, he is black!

Sexual charges always leave a nasty taste in the mouth, of course there are times when they should be brought, but far too frequently women bring them when they want to take revenge on a man for something or other!

 

[LuxPerpetua]

I'll be praying for you and your spouse, too. It sickens me that our society is at the point where a person would be willing to jeopardize the reputation of another person (not to mention add to mental anguish) just to get a new car. I'm so sorry you are being put through this. I'll be praying for you lots and lots.

 

[Svt4Him]

and has stated to her co-workers that she wants a new car so she's going to sue

If this is true, then the co-workers would be pretty good witnesses against her. Since she is going for money, I'm assuming she's suing under tort law, and if that is the case, she will have to prove that she was somehow hurt. But she has to have deep pockets to go after him this way.

 

[Flipper]

If this is true, then the co-workers would be pretty good witnesses against her. Since she is going for money, I'm assuming she's suing under tort law, and if that is the case, she will have to prove that she was somehow hurt. But she has to have deep pockets to go after him this way.

They are all keeping logs. My guess is that she is going to claim retaliation over how her hours were handled.

Thankfully, my state is a very hard state to bring a case like that in. More thankfully, he has 15 years with his company and has a great reputation with management and past staff. Won't be a problem finding character witnesses - even young pretty female ones.

 

[cjba]

This is a tough situation to be in. It may be a blessing that you work with lawyers. This can give you and your hubby insight to the process. God Bless.

 

[momof3blessings]

FLipper
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm sorry it came to all this. I know it has to be tough on you too.
I hope this girl has talked to enough people that she will trip herself up when it comes to court.

 

[Flipper]

I am so sorry for you and your husband that is awful

We have a lovely Indian husband and wife doctors. they are both wonderful and we feel really comfortable with them. Much to our horror he was charged with examining a woman internally for his own sexual gratification! Now if you knew our doctor at all, you would realise what nonsense that was. The woman said this had happened in 1984, yet was happy to stay with the practice until 1999! The woman was a policeman's wife and the police went on a fishing trip and asked other women patients leading questions, and of course found a few who said he had examined their breasts inappropriately etc,etc!!! To cut a long story short, after the tension of waiting for two years for the case to come to court, he was found not guilty on all charges. It is only now that the local health authority has fully reinstated him, five years later! It would appear that there was a racist element to the charges the women were white, he is black!

Sexual charges always leave a nasty taste in the mouth, of course there are times when they should be brought, but far too frequently women bring them when they want to take revenge on a man for something or other!

How awful! Do they have any idea that they are messing with a person's professional reputation? There is enough of a shortage of good doctors on both sides of the Atlantic! A couple of years ago, I unfortunately had to see a gastroenterologist and he happened to be Indian. I'm not just saying this - if he was a regular internist, I would have transferred to him. He was one of the nicest doctors I had ever gone to, had a good sense of humor too - which I think is needed in that area of medicine, har. His staff was also awsome and truely looked like they enjoyed working for him. What a shame your doctors had to go through that.

Hubby's in good company now. The letter from the attorney is naming two of the store managers as potential defendants - she's accusing them of bullying her into not suing. From what I've head of that incident, it is a complete and total lie as well.

 

[Flipper]

FLipper
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm sorry it came to all this. I know it has to be tough on you too.
I hope this girl has talked to enough people that she will trip herself up when it comes to court.

Am I seeing things? When I first looked at this post, it had my real name. Then I look at it again and it says "Flipper." You have permission to use my real name, it's ok.

Thank you for your prayers. Hopefully, it won't end up in court.

 

[Crofter]

Flipper... we went through somethin ng a little like this... but the accusation was child abuse. We thought we might lose our kids and I would loose my profession as a teacher.... it was a very difficult time and thinking back still leaves me feeling sick.. in this time I saw real beauty in my community and colleugues and church in the extreemes of their support for me and it was a battle we could not fight on our own... so we just had to put this in the hands of God and trust Him to see us through.

... it is a long story... but it became a very significant victory of faith. God didn't let s down.

May God bless you both and lead you to quieter waters!

 

[Flipper]

Thank you.

Corporate is sending someone from employee relations to tell the girl that she either needs to quit or accept the store transfer they offered her. He's not going to have to work with her any longer. Also, it means that the company is supporting him because I figured they would be transferring him instead.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Has he been growing spiritually lately? Sounds like the devil is taking a big jab at him?

 

[Flipper]

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying that the cause of this could be that he isn't growing spiritually? An assumption like that goes against everything I've been taught about my Christian faith. Bad things happen because of sin in general, not one's particular sin.

Edited to add an update: It's been 3 weeks and he's still having to work with her. Corporate said they were going to send someone down to talk to her about either transferring or quitting, but it hasn't been done. Frankly, I don't know how he goes to work every day - he wants her gone sooo bad. We are doing fine, went to Florida last week for vacation - very fun and theraputic. Still, please say a prayer for him and for us that this doesn't turn uglier than it has already been, and that I can be the right kind of support that he needs.

 

[Flipper]

Now she has come up with a host of other accusations that is inplicating most of the rest of the tech staff and the store managers. They are all bold faced lies, upper management knows this, but they won't remove her - they say they are trying to make a case against her so they can terminate her without her coming back and suing the entire company. I think she's going to do that regardless and they just need to get rid of her. Still, I can understand what they are doing.

He doesn't get upset that easily, but he is now. I wish I could make it all go away.

 

[Tami]

Has he been growing spiritually lately? Sounds like the devil is taking a big jab at him?

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying that the cause of this could be that he isn't growing spiritually? An assumption like that goes against everything I've been taught about my Christian faith. Bad things happen because of sin in general, not one's particular sin.

When I first read hisblood's statement I took it like she thought he might be growing spiritually so maybe the devil was taking a jab at him so he'd lose his resolve so he wouldn't grow spirtually, at least I know that happens to me when I get closer to God. I start having nightmares and stupid things happen to me, not to the extent of what your husband is going through though. Maybe it's because the devil knows it doesn't take much to discourage me, though. I don't know one way or the other whether that is why this is happening to your husband though but I thought maybe that's what hisbloodformysins really meant and maybe you just misunderstood her.

That is what you meant, right hisblood?

 

[Flipper]

Ok - that makes sense now. Sorry about that. I've known people who think that if something bad happens to you, it means God is punishing you - and I have low patience for that.

He is very confident about his abilities in the workplace - Satan might be screwing with him to make him second guess himself - for a while he was, but not anymore. Maybe God is testing us by allowing stress that we've never had before to see how we handle it.

 

[enslow]

Don't forget, the devil tried to mess with Jesus also.

Enslow

 

[Phoebe]

What's new, Magoo?
Tell Adam to watch his back around this upper management.

 

[Flipper]

Actually, the "upper management" I keep talking about is actually "middle" management and they have all worked with him at one time or another in the store level, and most of them were at our wedding and have been to get togethers in the past, so he's really among friends there. The ones he can't trust have moved on to different districts or have been promoted to positions that wouldn't have anything to do with this.

That's the thing - this girl picked the wrong person to do this to - I don't think she has any idea what kind of reputation she is messing with. It also makes me feel bad for those who are just starting with the company and how vulnerable they could be to something like this.

The only thing new is that they are trying to make a case to fire the girl, rather than transfer her, so he's stuck working with her for the time being.