Hurting

[Maharg]

Hello

I have been rejected by a big group of people at work and I think my friends and family are losing patience with me too. I have been feeling miserable for quite a long time and each time I try and do something about it something seems to get in the way. The people that rejected me have said they are frustrtated that I'm so upset at the moment. I'm feeling so weak and helpless and everything feels out of perspective. I'm frightened of being around people because I am worried that nobody likes me. I want to get back to being who I can be, and not be the person I am at the moment. I am going to see a Christian counsellor, but each time I talk about God she changes the subject. I want some Christian counsel but I'm worried about turning everyone away from me if I keep on seeking help. I know I haven't visited here before, and I'm probably asking a lot, but I'm really desperate and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to read my Bible, but I don't know which bit to read - I don't know where to start. Perhaps someone can help here.

Thank you.

Maharg

 

[KleinerApfel]

Hello Maharg, and welcome to Christian Forums

First, a little prayer for you


Now, it sounds to me as if you might be suffering from depression: feeling unworthy of help and attention, rejected by everyone around you.
These feelings are sometimes a normal part of the human condition, but when they become overwhelming and last more than a couple of weeks, it's likely to be depression.

Have you talked to a doctor about it?
A course of non-addictive antidepressants doesn't suit everyone, but can help you over the worst, and enable you to tackle issues.

Why does your Christian counsellor refuse to talk about God with you?

Two suggestions:

A/
She isn't in fact interested in God and what He means to you.
Unlikely if she's a Christian, but if you feel this is the case, find a counsellor who really loves the Lord.

B/
She feels that you may be using "spirituality" to avoid addressing important issues during your sessions with her.
Maybe?

But only you know the answer to which is more likely

(Or I might be completely wrong of course, in which case wait for other replies to follow!)

Ideally I would hope a Christian counsellor would pray briefly for you at some point of each session, and be able to acknowledge your faith.

Bear in mind though, not all Christian counsellors do actually pray in their sessions (seems odd to me, but that's the way it is!)
So she might still be a Christian and a good counsellor, and probably prays when you're not there.

But maybe she wants you to stop sounding like a "good Christian."

God can take our honesty, it's ok to question Him and tell Him your fears.
He allows us to express our doubts, so long as we're sincere in seeking Him and what he says about it.
If you can begin to do this before God and with your counsellor, iIm sure things will begin moving on for you.

If you don't think you are allowed to be express anger or doubt, look through the psalms! They aften contain terrible feelings of anger and abandonment, yet always the psalmist is making an attempt to seek God through his distress, and allow God to challenge his emotional reactions.

Maybe look for a short study booklet or daily notes that focus on the psalms to help your daily reading?

If you are struggling with repressed anger, fear or doubt about God's goodness, it will hinder your Bible study, so address these things head-on with Him and with a supportive person, whoever that may be.

I don't want to write more at this point - I may be "barking up the wrong tree" so to speak. Also I know from experience that reading a long passage when depressed is difficult. But please let me know how you feel about it and I'll think again.

God bless, Susana

 

[Blessed-one]

hope this can help you. i just read up on it yesterday.
"From 'Just like Jesus' by Max Lucado."

[bible]2 Corinthians 10:5[/bible]
[bible]Hebrews 3:1[/bible]

Let's just say a thought regarding your personal value approaches. With all the cockiness of a neighborhood bully, the thought swaggers up to the door and says, "You're a loser. All your life you've been a lose. You've blown relationships and jobs and ambitions. You might as well write the word bum on your resume, for that is what you are."

The ordinary person would throw open the door and let the thought in. Like a seed from a weed, it would find fertile soil and take root and bear thorns of inferiority.

But as a christian, you aren't your average person. you are led by the Spirit. So rather than let the thought in, you tkae it captive. You handcuff it and march it down the street to the courthouse where you present the thought before the judgement seat of Christ.

What does God think about you?

[bible]Ephesians 2:10[/bible]
[bible]Romans 8:1[/bible]

Obviously any thought that says you are inferior or insignificant does not pass the test - and does not gain entrance.

----

"Daily Bread - Day 9"

heading: Look up!
read: Psalms 42

[bible]Psalms 42:11[/bible]

Life up your eyes, discouraged one,
The Lord your help will be;
New strength will come from Him who said,
"For rest, come unto Me." - Anon.

When you can't find a way out, look up!

 

[Maharg]

Thank you both. It's good to know you're there. Have been listening to worship music for an hour and that is helping. I'm fairly sure I am depressed. It's been creeping up over the last couple of months. I need to keep focusing on God and being around people who I know definitely like me and hopefully that will keep me going. I've not been around Christians very much lately so perhaps if I surround myself with Christians it will help. I've visited my doctor and she has put me on anti-depressants and I have a couple of weeks off work, so maybe things will begin to get back to normal. I've been beginning to hear God a bit more today, and felt able to pray for someone who hurt me. I know there is hope - I just need to remind myself of that next time I feel a black mood creeping up.

Maharg

 

[Blessed-one]

thank you for the update, Maharg. I pray that you'll have a good rest, and that the Lord will strengthen you.

I know there is hope - I just need to remind myself of that next time I feel a black mood creeping up.

yep!

 

[desi]

Maharg, sometimes exercise helps. Do you exercise regularly?

 

[Maharg]

Hi Desi, I used to, but have had major changes to my routine over the last few months and haven't got back into the swing of things yet. Planning to soon though. Just need to get my motivation back up. Starting off slowly by going outside and doing gardening.

 

[KleinerApfel]

Hello again Maharg,

worship music and gardening are both great therapy, I'm glad you are able to enjoy them. I massacred some bushes to within an inch of their lives this spring, when I was feeling frustrated about things, and they have recovered and grown stronger than ever!

It's very good that you are able to pray for someone who hurt you. Not forgiving has been a source of depression for me in the past, so it's one of the things I bear in mind when I start to go down.

Give the pills at least 3 weeks to notice a difference, and if they suit you, continue for a few months after the symptoms go to avoid relapse.
It's good you can be off work for a while too, but have someting to look forward to, and keep some kind of routine to your days.

Let us know how you're getting on, and what you decide about your counsellor.

Take care and God bless, Susana

 

[Maharg]

Hi Susana

Thanks for being in touch. I'm glad to be having some time off. Managed not to feel too lonely which is good. Internet is helping a lot. Have decided to end with my current counsellor because it feels harmful to me. I felt she has not really understood my feelings nor my faith. I have the name of a therapist who is the wife of a vicar but have not heard anything back yet, so I will wait and see.

Anyway, off to feed my pet rabbit now.

Thanks for being in touch again.

God bless.

Maharg

 

[desi]

Hi Desi, I used to, but have had major changes to my routine over the last few months and haven't got back into the swing of things yet. Planning to soon though. Just need to get my motivation back up. Starting off slowly by going outside and doing gardening.

Shirking exercise has messed with my emotions before, perhaps it affects you too.

 

[godsgal3o]

I just wanted to say that I will pray for you, you are such a blessing and God will always be with you. I've had my share of upsand downs. I began to think that people got tired of me. It is hard, if you ever wanted chat I'll be here listening.
cathy

 

[Maharg]

Thanks Cathy. It's really appreciated.

Maharg

 

[sweetsarge]

Sometimes this could be a blessing in disguise. The pain of rejection won't seem that way, but the more you see people leave you, it leaves more space for Jesus to fill up inside you. He does want to have all of you. The only way He can have all of you is for you to have less of the world. The more you bring up the subject of God, and the more people turn from you because of it, this could be proof that you are a true child of God. Jesus said that the world hated Him and the world will hate you too because you belong to Him. It hurts when our flesh gets torn away from the attachments of this world whether it is materialistic, or ...friendship, or even family wise. But spiritually we gain more of Jesus and isn't this what we want? To be true discipleships of Jesus, we must love Him more than our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters etc. or we cannot truly follow Him. Before we can see Him clearly, we must let go of the world and all that belongs to it. Are you ready? I think so. Your faith has a great opportunity to grow in this situation with this large group. What a blessed chance to let this group see Jesus shine through you. You have a wonderful opporutnity to share and witness Jesus Love. You might feel alone when standing in the midst of them, but Jesus is with you if you will let Him be strong in your weakness. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. AMEN!

Sweet

 

[Mini]

Maharg

I will say a prayer or two for you.
Motivate yourself to do some exercise as it is a physical antidote to depression. It releases feel good hormones in the brain.

Try out the new counsellor, perhaps she will be better. If not your local Vicar/Rector should be able to recommend someone else. Although counselling in Britain is dreadful so I wish you luck.

Mini

 

[Maharg]

Just wanted to say I am feeling a little better right now. I seem to be up and down throughout the day, with the problems and the associated emotional content to them changing throughout the day.

I am beginning to rely on god more and more, and have realised that I was beginning to rely too much on people. Earlier in the day I was getting angry with God for taking all my support away, but I've since realised how much I am learning through this. God will make me stronger and God will tell me what to do about my job and my career. I just need to rely on Him and ensure that everything I do is out of love.

I have read of Christians having testing times before, and I never realised what all the fuss was about. I had had ups and downs in my life before, but had not realised the depths i could reach. I am so glad that I am God's child. When it gets to tomorrow morning I may feel different, but right now, at this moment, I feel strengthened by God and secure and trusting that He will only allow what is important for His purpose to be worked out.

Re: practical stuff, I have eaten two proper meals today and am going to play badminton tonight, and I've actually constructed something for my rabbit's cage to sit on top of. I've not really used a saw or got involved in making things properly since I did woodwork at school more than twelve years ago, so I'm really grateful to God for giving me the motivation to do this.

Be for now, and thank you everyone

Maharg
xx

 

[Maharg]

Sorry that should have been Bye for now

 

[TheMainException]

Pray!!! Pray your head off. It works, I know, I've tried it. I can't believe that people are rejecting you when you need them the most...that thoroughly sucks. I think that you may need to find another counselor if they keep changing the subject every time you want to talk about God, or talk to them and find out why they keep changing the subject.

 

[Mini]

Nice to hear your feeling better.

Mini

 

[Yitzchak]

I am glad to hear you are feeling better........Rejection can be difficult to deal with and depression certainly can be a difficult struggle........ I would encourage you to find a good counselor if the one you have isn't working out......I would ask the counselor for an explanation since you clearly want a christian counselor and if the explanation doesn't satisfy, then find a different counselor.......
I will pray for you.......finding scripture verses to repeat when you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed can be helpful......

 

[Maharg]

Hello everyone

i am feeling much better at the moment, and just wanted to let everyone know. I'm off out now.

love

Maharg