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MercuryAndy said:Are muslems not allowed to give or recive hugs... At all?
AlHannah said:I know this OP is hugs in Islam. But I think hugs are okay between the same sex, but I don't feel that comfortable giving a hug to a Christian brother (or any other religious persuasion).
I don't mind if I know him quite well. But I remember in youth group some guys would come and hug you, but it really was inappropriate, you know you hardly knew them, but everyone was greeting each other with hugs. I just think some men will take advantage of the situation whether they are Christians, Muslims, Hindus or whatever. Personally I don't think you should hug between the different sexes if not family, husband, or close relatives; some guys are just too tempted with women and it's an excuse for them to get physically close to you, when it shouldn't be happening. It takes advantage of us, especially when we are young. Just because they are Christians doesn't make them perfect.
I will give a man a handshake but that's as far as I like to 'embrace' the opposite sex.
The bible says "abstain from even the APPEARANCE of evil." I've had looks from pastor's wives after their husband has hugged me, and I feel really uncomfortable. Nope, I just don't allow that physical contact now.
what sex someone is doesnt enter my mind if someone is sad and needs a hug! same goes for me, if im sad and need a hug i wouldnt care if it was male of female hugging me. its all about showing someone you care and comforting, why put rules and regulations on something as beautiful and loving as that!?!seed757 said:Do you always have to get comfort from the opposite sex?
not everyone who hugs someone of opposite sex is sexed up the the eyeballs and easily turned on!? and as for jealousy between husband and wife if one sees one hugging another of the opposite sex, that just sad, there cant be much trust in that marriage.AlHannah said:I know this OP is hugs in Islam. But I think hugs are okay between the same sex, but I don't feel that comfortable giving a hug to a Christian brother (or any other religious persuasion).
I don't mind if I know him quite well. But I remember in youth group some guys would come and hug you, but it really was inappropriate, you know you hardly knew them, but everyone was greeting each other with hugs. I just think some men will take advantage of the situation whether they are Christians, Muslims, Hindus or whatever. Personally I don't think you should hug between the different sexes if not family, husband, or close relatives; some guys are just too tempted with women and it's an excuse for them to get physically close to you, when it shouldn't be happening. It takes advantage of us, especially when we are young. Just because they are Christians doesn't make them perfect.
I will give a man a handshake but that's as far as I like to 'embrace' the opposite sex.
The bible says "abstain from even the APPEARANCE of evil." I've had looks from pastor's wives after their husband has hugged me, and I feel really uncomfortable. Nope, I just don't allow that physical contact now.
MercuryAndy said:muslem people are too confusing.
I certainly do not mind getting a hug from someone in the spirit of comfort, no matter what the gender. If I have fallen over, or if I've had bad news, or something where I may need comforting, then no I wouldn't object to a member of the opposite sex from giving me a hug. Because it would be appropriate behaviour.bunnysfriend said:not everyone who hugs someone of opposite sex is sexed up the the eyeballs and easily turned on!? and as for jealousy between husband and wife if one sees one hugging another of the opposite sex, that just sad, there cant be much trust in that marriage.
a hug is one of the purest and simplest ways of showing someone you care, am i to be banned from hugging half the population because some pervert may take it the wrong way? a hug is only wrong to you if you have and sex obsessed mind, i dont, so i dont have a problem with it. God knows my heart and mind and knows what my intentions are.
Salaam Seed757: I think Islam goes overboard on their segregation. What if a woman had hurt herself, I guess a Muslim man wouldn't offer his assistance because he ends up touching a woman (shock horror). I should hope commonsense would prevail.seed757 said:That is a very rational and reasoned approach sister AlHannah.
Islam looks at it in almost the same manner. These behaviors are implemented as a form of deterence to help try to prevent the ills of sexual indiscretions within the Muslim community.
Halo Lady Hannah, as i would agree with you on on your two recent posts about you not happy with the issue of being hugged, but I disagree with you in this post about if a muslim woman hurt herself that a man would not offer assistance. of course a muslim man will offer assistance, but assitance does not always mean hugging the person. it seems that sometimes you want to alienate and demonise Islam as if we are not human and don't have hearts. A woman accidentally cuts herself with a knife and you come running to hug her is that assistance. The segregation is for the woman's protection, because there are many wierd and stupid men out there, who would take advantage of this situation, may be not straight away but one thing leads to another and women are weak hearted and often vulnerable to someone being too generous. say A women has a break down on a rainy day and a nice charming young man comes along and offers to help don't you think this woman would feel in some way compelled to pay him back for his kindness.what if he refuses to take anything but insists that the woman Join him for a drink.and then and then and then.So the segregation in Islam prevents this type of scenario, and even the hug is out of question.I remember when I was a bad by how I used to lure women into bed.AlHannah said:Salaam Seed757: I think Islam goes overboard on their segregation. What if a woman had hurt herself, I guess a Muslim man wouldn't offer his assistance because he ends up touching a woman (shock horror). I should hope common sense would prevail.
That is a very rational and reasoned approach sister AlHannah.
Islam looks at it in almost the same manner. These behaviors are implemented as a form of deterence to help try to prevent the ills of sexual indiscretions within the Muslim community.
I was actually a little surprised with the muslims actions concerning the Muslim flag flying over a Brothel in Germany. Wonder why the other countries didn't "protest".quote Yaqo: I am sure that the guys on here will say not all men would take advantage but Precaution is better than cure and Islam goes for the precaution rather than the cure.
MercuryAndy said:This has unpleased me.
So not even little hugs?
AlHannah said:Salaam Seed757: I think Islam goes overboard on their segregation. What if a woman had hurt herself, I guess a Muslim man wouldn't offer his assistance because he ends up touching a woman (shock horror). I should hope commonsense would prevail.
sorry i didnt mean to offend. it just bugs me sometimes when people go on about sex as if people are rabbits, constantly on the look out for more, and easily turned on by anything. most people i know arent like that. im sorry you have had a bad experience with hugging members of the opposite sex. i guess i see things different because i havent. i too would find it a bit wierd if strangers or people i hardly know came up to hug me, but i wouldnt think it was for any reason except for being freindly. some people are just realy freindly like that and dont see physical contact as a issue. in some ways i think its quite a beautiful thing. a bit like when a person with mental dissabilty is really overly freindly and loving, even to strangers, becuse they dont put up that barrier in their minds.AlHannah said:I certainly do not mind getting a hug from someone in the spirit of comfort, no matter what the gender. If I have fallen over, or if I've had bad news, or something where I may need comforting, then no I wouldn't object to a member of the opposite sex from giving me a hug. Because it would be appropriate behaviour.
But to just HUG, well my body is private and whoever touches it, is not just going to be any ole Tom, Jack or Harry, thank you very much. And I woudn't classify myself as having a sex obsessed mind, because I do not agree with you.
The fact is many pastors have fallen into adultery, and other men/women at church, because we Christians are too lenient on those standards. I was attending those such churches. I remember getting counselling when I was about 16 from a pastor, then he would give me a hug afterwards as part of the process .... but in hindsight I really thought it was unnecessary.
You see to the pure all things are pure, so I would never question anything like that, it would never have entered my mind that some Christian men had hidden agendas with women. Now I am older I am much more wise to the 'wiles of the serpent' in this regard.
Secondly, if we had been evangelising downtown on Friday night then invite the guys and girls back to our church for coffee etc. Then our own youth group would hug each other to say goodbye for instance, which was fine we were close friends – not strangers – but some of the newly found Christian guys (well you could see what they were thinking - 'oh yippee hugs all round, some of those girls are pretty cute, that's why we only came with them anyway') would just come up and hug you because that was what our close brothers may have done, but for them, no it wasn't okay, they took advantage of our freedom. Some girls probably didn't mind, but I did, because I knew one or two just fancied me and it was a short cut to getting to know me.
If anything the woman has to initiate the physical contact not the man. And the man should at least ask if he may hug, nor if he can hug.
Thirdly, I think it is also about common courtesies and polite manners, which the West is losing fast anyway.
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