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How would you react...

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Gwenyfur

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Most of the ladies probably saw the fright my DH gave me last night...
There's a horrible ice storm going on here in the KCMO area last night and today. The DH worked late, didn't call home and after much searching, praying, crying, sending out the Higway Patrol and my dad into the storm, we find him....safe and sound at his friend's house in Westport.

No phone call. No answering the phone, *and* his friend said that he wasn't there. (He had been at his mothers for the evening and drove by and supposedly didn't see his car).

I'm so upset I can't really think straight Even though the roads weren't that bad last night, I don't mind that he stayed up there. Better safe than sorry. But, when he did finally call this morning he was almost flippant about the worry he'd caused.

At one point last night, I was on my knees (literally) in my living room sobbing out to God to let him be safe and bring him home.

Okay, God was merciful and he was found safe.

I just find myself so angry at him for his selfishness. I mean, he actually said he "didn't think about it".

How do you not think about calling someone you "love" when you aren't coming home, and the weather is bad? What am I missing here....????? And how would you handle the situation?
 
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Avaya

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Oh yeah! One time my husband's father had come over for dinner (from out of town, and it was a prearranged visit). My husband wasn't home at his regular time. Worried, worried, worried. We didn't have a cell phone and I had no way of contacting him. THREE HOURS later he shows up like normal. "WHERE have you been???" Work had sent him to Shreveport (2 hours one way) to deliver or pick up something (not his normal job description). Hello? YOu SO could have called before you had to leave so that I'd know where you were! I was so incredibly mad!

Another time he and our son went hunting. Well, in the winter it gets dark around 5:30 ish here. Well they didn't get home till nearly 10 pm - on a school night. I was terrified. I had no clue where I would look for them in the dark on a hunting lease. I was so mad when they got home (after discoving they were safe). Man, I had so many horrible thoughts running through my mind. Daddy fell out of a tree stand and our son was too young to know what to do. A car wreck. They'd been shot on the lease. My mind was just racing with horrible thoughts. The very next day I bought my husband a cell phone and told him I never wanted to not know where he was again.

So yea, your husband was in a safe place where he could have called to tell you where he was. I'd be furious!!!!!!
 
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Gwenyfur

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He swears he just didn't think about calling...that's the part I don't understand....
How could you not "think" about calling someone who you know loves you and worries about you??? I dunno, if it was because he wanted to know I still care (duh!!) or what...

You'd think after him getting saved, and sticking with him for the 6 years of our marriage that he wasn't saved and made life hell while I was trying to walk with God, that yeah...I love the man...geeze!

He's on his way home now...jsut pray I don't lose my temper when he gets here.

Today is our daughter's b'day. She turns 7 I don't want to be arguing with her dad on her special day heh... there's that wife vs mom roles again...

Thanks y'all for lenting me vent and rant and whine ... and most of all thank you for your prayers...
 
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Avaya

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To me it's just basic common courtesy, if you're not going to be home within 15 minutes of the time you usually get home, then call. It's not that hard.

I pray that you will be easy on him. Easier said than done, I know, but I think the best thing to do is just hug him and tell him you're so glad he's safe and then don't mention it again. Friends and family and the pastor will probably be enough to give him an idea of how frantic you were without you hashing it out with him. They are sure to let him know how worried you were.
 
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andiesmama

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Just pray God to give you the right words to say to your husband when he gets home, but I definately think you need to let him know in no uncertain terms how you felt not knowing where he was (I mean, how would he feel if he had been in that situation?), and inform him that he will NOT do it again....it's totally unfair to you as his wife and very inconsiderate.

I know it'll be hard, but you can say these things in a kind & loving way....
 
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okiemommy26

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Well he probably is there by now. I would hope lol. Anyways i dont know why a person wouldn't call but there are alot things my husband doesnt do or does that doesnt ever make sense to me. Common sense things and yet he goes the totally opposite way and i dont understand why. He would use the excuse " i didnt think about it" on alots of things. But what is a good thing he does always call if he is going to be late. I just pray that God give you the right words to say without gettting to upset over it. But i know that is hard to do.
 
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Flipper

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Avaya said:
To me it's just basic common courtesy, if you're not going to be home within 15 minutes of the time you usually get home, then call. It's not that hard.
Click to expand...

Given what we both do and that circumstances keeping us at work late arise all the time, we usually give it a couple hours before worrying, but I'm still with you. It's just common courtesy to call, or at least have your cell phone turned on to get a call, if you are the one out late.
 
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Cordy

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My husband and I have a policy that if either of us are not going to be somewhere the other expected at a certain time, that we try to contact each other best we can. Sometimes it is just finding a phone and leaving a message, or finding a computer and sending a quick email. But we do it out of respect for each other. If my husband just went to his friends house on such a stormy night and didn’t let me know, I would be extremely upset!
 
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Gwenyfur

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He's finally ... just now ... leaving to come home...

He's been up there all day "fixing" his wiper, which broke, and unfreezing his car door so he coudl even get into it... Here's the giggle...he used a hair dryer
Anyhow...
I'm still so upset I don't know whether I will hug him and just be glad he's home or struggle to control my temper which apparently God's leaving me on my own with today....I'm going to keep praying about it...cause I'm still *extremely* upset at his carelessness of our feelings. My oldest daughter stayed up with me...she wouldn't go to bed until she knew the outcome...God Bless her little heart
 
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Gwenyfur

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Well, he made it home about 6 last night. God love him I just looked at him and started bawling like a baby...
I cried and cried...here I was all worried I was going to lose my temper and all I could do was cry...
He did apologize and by 7 I was asleep...I'd only slept 2 hours the night before...
I was so drained physically and emotionally I didn't even need my sleeping meds heh...slept for nearly 12 hours..

Well, we talked today, and he's promised me he'll never not call again...he just didn't think I'd worry...that I'd trust him to be smart enough to seek shelter heh...

Men ...God love 'em for being so different.
 
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Gwenyfur

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Andy Broadley said:
If I could offer a male thought on this. I think the guy got off very very lightly, I wouldn't have done.
Click to expand...
LOL I think he's really regretting it...I'm not really much of a crier...never really have been...But so far today, he's had our "talk" which went really well, I didn't yell once
But then my dad called and had a word or two with him, then my brother in law, who's in the army, and even my mo, grandmother, and our Pastor.

At this point I'm so amused at everyone giving him such "business" about him not calling, that I apparently didn't really need to say a word...

Thanks for the male input...That's why I posted it over here in marriage...I really wanted input from other men as well
 
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isaiah5213

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lol!!! andy, you are so funny!!! rofl!!!


i know i took a couple of days to post about this...

my husband had a hard time w/calling me. finally, the 3rd time he did the not call, he started getting phone calls out of the woodwork from family and friends asking if he was having an affair. i didn't suggest that to them. the huge family he has, heard his mom or sister say something. suddenly before you know it over 60 people think he is messing around on me. he was angry and humiliated. --especially because it was his family.

then he, himself voiced: "but if i don't call, and i said i would, then i am not giving you grounds to trust me. and you can't answer people correctly when they ask you where i am--you can only say "i don't know" .. and so of course they think that about me.. how much that must humiliate you..."

and i am proud to say: he has never done that again.
 
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