how would you deal with this?

[Evie]

please tell me what you would do in this situation? My husband and I are both saved. Shortly after he was saved,my brother who use to do everything with him ,now does nothing. Strange thing is,my husband's cousin lives right next door to us,and now my brother and my husband's cousin are great friends. My brother will not look at either of us or call. What to do? Help!

 

[daveleau]

Do you know why he is acting this way? Is it because you are saved, or is it for some other reason? Have you asked him directly about his behavior- by cornering him if need be?

The only thing you can do besides doing the above in a loving manner is to pray. If your brother has indirectly given an ultimatum of either him or God, then who is more important to you? Pray for your brother and then ask others to pray for him too.

God bless you both. You are in my prayers.

Dave

 

[wayfaring man]

please tell me what you would do in this situation? My husband and I are both saved. Shortly after he was saved,my brother who use to do everything with him ,now does nothing. Strange thing is,my husband's cousin lives right next door to us,and now my brother and my husband's cousin are great friends. My brother will not look at either of us or call. What to do? Help!

Hi Evie ,

Similarly , I would , examine whether something had been done to offend your brother , which was inappropriate , if so then , amends should be made , if at all possible ; but if your brother's shunning of you and your husband is due to his aversion to religion / belief in God / love for Jesus etc. , Then this is not something you can make amends for , as the conflict is between your brother and his perception of religion / God / and Christ .

Pray , and in as much as is possible live unhypocritically.

[ Most scorning of religion has hypocrisy as it's main justification . ]

Allow concern to be shown , but don't push an agenda .

Let the Light which Christ is , shine through you , by being mindful of his teaching and obedient to his revealed will .

As Jesus said : And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. <-----> John 12:32

Consider also that , the Lord warned that his testimony would cause division amongst families .

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. <-----> Luke 12:51+52

Also call to your attention :

Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's,
But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.
But many that are first shall be last; and the last first. <-----> Mark 10:29-31

Our primary family as believers is " the household of faith " ; those whom we are linked to by flesh or blood , may be the first we would like see benefit from our " conversion " , yet often they who are " first " will be " last "; focus mainly on the relationships which you have in the Lord , trusting that the order of who receives our witness , ( as in sooner or later ) , is in the Almighty's Hands .

And because unbelievers' apprehension is linked to others forcing their beliefs upon them ; by thriving among others who are likeminded ; you will be demonstating to your brother that you're not desperate to convert him , which will lessen any grounds for apprehension , and give place for curiosity instead .

This may take some time , be not anxious , only trust in The Lord .

Sincerely ,

wm

 

[Evie]

please tell me what you would do in this situation? My husband and I are both saved. Shortly after he was saved,my brother who use to do everything with him ,now does nothing. Strange thing is,my husband's cousin lives right next door to us,and now my brother and my husband's cousin are great friends. My brother will not look at either of us or call. What to do? Help!

my brother does not like either of us because of who we stand for,and there is no other reason. We did nothing wrong to him. I have prayed about this for years.I had made amends with him one time and then he was cool for awhile,and know he is back on his hating us again.We again,have not done anything to him.He won't even look at us or say hello. I even talked to my mom about it,she said she feels like she is in the middle of it. He has just simply deserted us because of who we are.

 

[bliz]

In this case, there is nothing to do. Your brother has made it quite clear that he does not wish to have anything to do with either you or your husband. If you see him, wave, smile and be friendly and welcoming. Should he ever appear on your doorstep, greet him warmly.

Continue to pray for your brother, but beyond that, there is nothing to be done. He is permitted not to see you. He has made a choice. As hard as it may seem, just don't hold him to it or make it hard for him to ever change his mind.

 

[Alternate Carpark]

Matthew 10:34-38 (MsgB)
"Don't think I've come to make life cozy. I've come to cut—
[35] make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. [36] Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies.
[37] If you prefer father or mother over me, you don't deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don't deserve me.
[38] "If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me.
Luke 12:50-53 (MsgB)
[50] I've come to change everything, turn everything rightside up—how I long for it to be finished!
[51] Do you think I came to smooth things over and make everything nice? Not so. I've come to disrupt and confront!
[52] From now on, when you find five in a house, it will be—Three against two, and two against three;
[53] Father against son, and son against father; Mother against daughter, and daughter against mother; Mother-in-law against bride, and bride against mother-in-law."

I'd agree with Bliz's great advice.
Yes it's painful when family turn against you because of Christ, but that's part of the suffering for Christ we must endue, being rejected.
If you have done nothing wrong, then it's obvious they reject you because they reject Christ.
In a way, you are in a new family now, a spiritual family and blood ties mean nothing in this new family.
So in a sense ( or in reality), your blood relatives are now just like anyone else that rejects you for your beliefs.

What did Jesus say to them when they said, "Your mother and brother are here to see you"
Luke 8:21 (MsgB)
He replied, "My mother and brothers are the ones who hear and do God's Word. Obedience is thicker than blood."

 

[wayfaring man]

Along the same lines ...

Blood may be thicker than water , but Spirit is stronger than flesh .

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. <-----> Romans 8:14-18

 

[Rage4Christ]

evie, it really depends on how much you want a relationship with your brother. Express how you feel, and what you want. But respect his boundaries.

 

[Richard]

Prayer is a powerful weapon in a case like this

 

[Richard]

We gotta remember that God listens to us in prayer and most people cannot give the advice that God has for you

 

[rogsr]

Dear Evie,

Rejection is a constant reality that we must all be ready to sustain. I know how much it hurts, and I also know how much it can hurt when it comes at the hands of a beloved family member. You're thinking, "I don't get it? Why is this, out of all things, the thing that is driving us apart?" Jesus taught, "Pray for those who hate you." I'm assuming that also counts for family members. Continue loving your brother always, and continue praying for him. If he ever needs your help give to him whatever you are able. If you do these things you will both be acting like a son and daughter of our Father.

 

[BarbB]

Evie,

I rejected my brother and his wife, both saved 25 years ago, for years; but they never stopped praying for me! Now I'm saved too, and I love them dearly! Don't stop praying!

 

[TheMainException]

Everytime you see him, wave, or just smile at least, say hi, don't reshun him...let him know that you still care, do nice things for him no matter what he says about or to you or does to you...love him like Christ would.