How would you answer this question?

[PegasusOnFire]

Ok I get asked all the time if this is my first baby, well it will be my first live baby. I lost my first baby due to miscarraige, and everythime I get this question I have to stop and think about how to answer it.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

Peg, I would answer it as honestly as you can. I cant say I know what your going through... cus i dont... but if i were you i would just answer it as honestly as you can. Good luck. Hope i helped.

Jo

 

[andiesmama]

I agree with Jo, be as honest as you feel you can be with the person who asked...you know, depending on how well you know the person, you can decide how much info you want to give. It's entirely up to how comfortable you feel about it!!

 

[Why?]

It sounds like you feel strongly that the baby you lost is part of your family. If you feel bad answering "Yes", then I would answer, "No, we lost our first child to miscarriage." It's short, simple, and to the point. And don't feel like you'll make people uncomfortable. It's okay.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

thanks guys.

 

[LegacyOfLove]

If I were in your place, being asked that question from a total stranger, whom I didn't feel like having to explain it all to...then I would probably answer "yes, it is" and leave it at that...or "no, it's our second." It's just that when you answer with the "no, it's our second child"...then people usually will ask more questions.

My second child died from SIDS (crib death). When I was pregnant with my other children, people would ask me that similar question. I usually just left it up to how much I felt like divulging at the time.

It is still awkward at times, because if someone asks "how many children do you have", I usually say five...but one died from SIDS. (And you have to prepare yourself for the "I'm so sorry to hear about that." responses...which I do....and I then reply "it's okay, I know he's in a better place...and we'll be together again someday!")

No matter how long or short your child's life is...as a mother, each child holds its own special place in your heart...that will never be replaced by anyone else. There is no reason to ever be sorry for that...and no reason to apologize for it either. Life is precious...and children are gifts from God...

 

[katelyn]

I would say whatever you feel comfortable with. If you prefer not having to go into detail, then there's nothing wrong with saying yes, it's your first child. But if it makes you feel bad to say that, as I understand it might, then you can give an explanation. I can understand your feelings about not knowing what to say. I have a situation in my life, because I was adopted, where when people ask certain questions it's hard for me to know what to say, especially with strangers. It's hard to find the balance of keeping it simple and not having to go into your life story, while not denying your past. It can be hard, but you just have to figure out what feels right for you.

 

[theks2003]

I agree. It depends on who is asking. I have had 5 miscarriages and this is our 7th child but will be our second live child. I usually say second but everyone close to us knows the real number.

 

[karla]

You could simply say, this is our pregnancy that we have brought to term.

 

[Jenna]

I always just say that I have two children; a son in heaven and a beautiful daughter to raise here. Or, if someone is asking if I have any other children, I sometimes just say that she is the only child that I have at home. That's usually enough to stave off uncomfortable conversations.