How to treat all children!

[GracefulGalPal]

Hello! I'm happy this caught your attention! This is advice on how to treat children as a whole. This is advice from experience and research so this is not coming from a blank place.

Children are sacred. They are not toys, accessories, punching bags or drones. They are HUMAN. Young humans in fact. Because they are young, they will do dumb things. I encourage you all to stay calm when they do. Showing hatred towards them and their actions will put hatred in their hearts. The best thing to do when a child is misbehaving is to stay calm, tell them why they are being rude, hug them (if needed) and then ask them questions. Ask them "What would Jesus do?" or "Why are you angry?". Answering questions will calm them down. Teaching them to not be controlled by their sad emotions is crucial to being a strong person. Compassion is good. Resentment is BAD.

God is our ultimate parent and savior. We are his children. He teaches us to be good. He wants us to teach our children to be good as well. Its not easy, but its worth it in the end.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Not to diminish a lovely OP but I thought I'd share my interaction with my 6 yo.

He was pestering his older sister and I could see that she was losing her patience and was ready to snap. The two of them then began to escalate things and the end result was my 6yo getting cross and shouting at his sister "I HATE YOU!"

He had a time out to calm down and I sat next to him and gently had a talk. I explained about what is and is not acceptable behaviour and how hate is a very strong word. His furrowed brow did not relax (which should have been a sign for me). Eventually I asked him "What would Jesus do?"

He glared at the back of his sister head and said "Hulk SMASH!" (I will forever picture Jesus doing a hulk smash in Matthew 21:12)

Needless to say, whilst our little children are gifts from the Lord, they are Borg so, as parents, those sanctions and boundaries setting need to be varied but filled with the love of Christ.

 

[GracefulGalPal]

@Lotuspetal_uk I'm sorry that happened. He won't say it again when you keep teaching him that hate is wrong. Sometimes repeating a good message helps. I suggest reading him a nice story.

 

[Tom 1]

Hello! I'm happy this caught your attention! This is advice on how to treat children as a whole. This is advice from experience and research so this is not coming from a blank place.

Children are sacred. They are not toys, accessories, punching bags or drones. They are HUMAN. Young humans in fact. Because they are young, they will do dumb things. I encourage you all to stay calm when they do. Showing hatred towards them and their actions will put hatred in their hearts. The best thing to do when a child is misbehaving is to stay calm, tell them why they are being rude, hug them (if needed) and then ask them questions. Ask them "What would Jesus do?" or "Why are you angry?". Answering questions will calm them down. Teaching them to not be controlled by their sad emotions is crucial to being a strong person. Compassion is good. Resentment is BAD.

God is our ultimate parent and savior. We are his children. He teaches us to be good. He wants us to teach our children to be good as well. Its not easy, but its worth it in the end.

Haha little humans can be pretty intense, just like big humans. Sometimes just being nice can just be a form of denial.

 

[GracefulGalPal]

@Tom Farebrother Maybe for some, but not all. When I adopt a daughter in the future, I will teach her everything that I've learned about love. My mother did with me so I want to follow in God's and her footsteps.

 

[Tom 1]

@Tom Farebrother Maybe for some, but not all. When I adopt a daughter in the future, I will teach her everything that I've learned about love. My mother did with me so I want to follow in God's and her footsteps.

Donˋt get me wrong, I´m not disagreeing with you as such, but sometimes love needs to be tough, and tough love and hatred aren´t the same thing. My 2 nieces for example, the eldest has always been well behaved and quiet, the youngest much more spirited. Their mum loves them both the same but has had to get a lot more involved with the youngest, to keep her safe but not crush her spirit takes quite a bit of intense involvement.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

@Lotuspetal_uk I'm sorry that happened. He won't say it again when you keep teaching him that hate is wrong. Sometimes repeating a good message helps. I suggest reading him a nice story.

Oh absolutely @GracefulGalPal . As it is written we need as parents to "train up a child in the way they should go" (Prov 22:6) and it starts with the Gospel. It can be quite a responsibility but it is also a blessing and an honour.

He was over it, but he had to apologise to his sister after forgiving her in his heart (and she forgiving him).

 

[Dave-W]

@Tom Farebrother Maybe for some, but not all. When I adopt a daughter in the future, I will teach her everything that I've learned about love. My mother did with me so I want to follow in God's and her footsteps.

Adoption is a wonderful thing. 2 of my grandkids are adopted by my youngest daughter. (see the avatar - the ones on each end)

Are you not planning on having children the old fashioned way?

 

[GracefulGalPal]

@Dave-W Maybe. I need to get healthier before doing that.

 

[Halbhh]

They learn from watching us, both our good actions and our bad actions.

And copy those in their own way.

But, we want them to learn a way that is better than what we showed them sometimes, of course.

A wonderful moment happened when a 7 or 8 yr old child refused to attend Childrens Sunday school and remained in the normal church service, so that she heard the sermon, which helpfully that day began with the full reading of the Good Samaritan story, and the child totally became completely caught up in and focused on the story.

Really absorbing it. It will be remembered later I think.

A win!

Sometimes I wonder if it's so much better to be in a Sunday School rather than hear the pastor's sermon, even for as young as 8 or 9.

It's not really bad to hear some things you don't instantly understand, and then to think about them!

 

[Gordon Wright]

In my experience, every approach that started with the working assumption that all children are the same ended in disaster.

One size does not fit all.

 

[Dave-W]

@Dave-W Maybe. I need to get healthier before doing that.

In what way are you not healthy?
Something I can pray for you about?

 

[GracefulGalPal]

@dave

I don't have the best diet. There is also something that is hard to talk about.

 

[Dave-W]

One size does not fit all.

Having raised 4, including twins, I can totally agree with this.

 

[Dave-W]

I don't have the best diet.

That can be fixed rather easily. (if you have the will to do so)

There is also something that is hard to talk about.

Understood. If it is medical, I do hope your doctor knows about it. (and is properly dealing with it) But if it is something else, you may want to push yourself to talk about it (even in a private conversation) to deal with it. Stuff that stays hidden tends to get worse over time.

 

[GracefulGalPal]

@Dave-W You're right. I'll post about it so I don't have to hide it. Maybe ask for some prayers and advice.