How to talk to Christian friend about her relationship moving too fast?

[ecoffee27]

My friend is 20. Her partner is 24 and a new Christian. I'm concerned for her because they are almost engaged and, while he's experienced a lot of growth in the past year, he still shows many areas of concern. For instance, he's very financially unstable (even though they just started Financial Peace University), he doesn't know how to be the head of a Christian household and I feel like this fast growth has been for the sake of winning her over.

He got her dad's blessing last night, but I'm worried that they're both rushing to get married too quick and that they'll regret it. They've been dating for almost a year, are not engaged, and already have a date set for their wedding.

Also, they both have a lot of past trauma, him moreso, and I'm worried that these issues will come up a lot more once married in ways they don't even realize. They were much more unhealthy at the beginning of their relationship and were sexual immoral very early on, so I'm worried that this is playing a part in solidifying her love for him and blinding her to his deeper flaws. He has spoken to her in ways that are hurtful and doesn't have much tact in how he handles deeper conversations.

How do I speak to my friend in love while still showing my concerns? Every time I bring it up, she has an excuse or reason why each concern isn't important or is being resolved. Are there Biblical references to the importance of not rushing into a married relationship? Any and all advice would be great. I just don't want them to regret the biggest decision of their lives. It doesn't seem like they're quite understanding the gravity of what they're getting into.

 

[ChristianGirl_96]

Praying that things improve soon!

 

[ChristianGirl_96]

Also maybe tactfully discuss the matter with them?

 

[RaymondG]

My friend is 20. Her partner is 24 and a new Christian. I'm concerned for her because they are almost engaged and, while he's experienced a lot of growth in the past year, he still shows many areas of concern. For instance, he's very financially unstable (even though they just started Financial Peace University), he doesn't know how to be the head of a Christian household and I feel like this fast growth has been for the sake of winning her over.

He got her dad's blessing last night, but I'm worried that they're both rushing to get married too quick and that they'll regret it. They've been dating for almost a year, are not engaged, and already have a date set for their wedding.

Also, they both have a lot of past trauma, him moreso, and I'm worried that these issues will come up a lot more once married in ways they don't even realize. They were much more unhealthy at the beginning of their relationship and were sexual immoral very early on, so I'm worried that this is playing a part in solidifying her love for him and blinding her to his deeper flaws. He has spoken to her in ways that are hurtful and doesn't have much tact in how he handles deeper conversations.

How do I speak to my friend in love while still showing my concerns? Every time I bring it up, she has an excuse or reason why each concern isn't important or is being resolved. Are there Biblical references to the importance of not rushing into a married relationship? Any and all advice would be great. I just don't want them to regret the biggest decision of their lives. It doesn't seem like they're quite understanding the gravity of what they're getting into.

Do you see any similar problems in your own relationship?

 

[ecoffee27]

Do you see any similar problems in your own relationship?

No, not at all. This is partially why I'm concerned for her, because I see how unhealthy their relationship is

 

[Elliewaves]

You can tell her your concerns, but she probably won't listen to them. In the end , it's her life and she's going to do what she wants anyway. You are just a friend and don't get that much sway in her future; it sounds like her parents already approved if he got the dad's blessing. Maybe suggest pre-marital counseling where things of those nature will be discussed with a pastor before he marries them.